Homestuck: Not Really A Prince
by TheCurtisclan
Summary: His name was Eridan Ampora. He'd just killed his former Matesprit, and destroyed all hope for the restoration of the troll race. And now he stood on the roof of their hidden base, facing off against a Thief of Light and a Bard of Rage. But this time, things are going to go a lot differently. AU where Eridan survives Act 5, and continues with the group to Act 6.
1. The Prince Of Blood

His name was Eridan Ampora. He was one of the twelve trolls to create our universe. Like the others, he had played through the game, won the prize, only to have it swiftly taken from him by the monstrosity Jack Noir. Like the others, he had fallen back to a secret base on a meteor far from Skaia, and began hassling the four kids that had created said monstrosity. Like the others, he was scared, and sad, and found himself devoid of all hope.

But now he'd snapped. He'd just killed the Princess he'd loved, the friend he'd been grateful for, and the enemy he despised beyond all measure. Ironic, was it not? The Prince of Hope destroying the last bit of Hope for the succession of the troll race? And now he stood on the roof of the base, his bloodlust now itching for a taste at the Cerulean swill of the Thief of Light, and the high Purple blood of the Bard of Rage.

The roof was fairly barren, adequate grounds for the showdown. The grey concrete drew contrasts with the starry space above, filled with countless other asteroids all tumbling around. To his left stood the Thief: Vriska Serket, a former Caliginous romantic conquest of his. She stood there, recoiling away from the other two murderers, in her full orange and yellow God Tier outfit. Her face, which popped out of the hood, showed genuine terror in the presence of her two adversaries, and she readied her dice in her right hand. To Eridan's right stood the Bard: Gamzee Makara. Eridan was confused by the clowns' presence, as he had previously been such a passive member of their team, but never-the-less, Eridan prepared to slay him. It was curious though, as the Purple blood had a large scratch across his face, and wore both Equius' glasses and Nepeta's hat. Eridan didn't need to be a wizard to understand what happened.

Eridan had discarded his own cape long ago, somewhere within the halls of the base, in a matter of frustration. All he wanted was what was best for _her_. But she insisted, and insisted, and Eridan had to do it. Finish off his former Moirail, and the mustard blooded swine that called himself her Matesprit. If anything, he regretted his actions against the Sylph, destroying her Matriorb and blasting her through the stomach. She was only trying to help their race, but in a fit of anger, Eridan destroyed that last bit of hope for the troll race.

He examined Vriska for a moment, watching her blue wings flap behind her. A scowl creeped up to his face, and he felt his heart stop. This was it. The moment of truth. He felt the heat come off of his wand, so much power in such a little object. In the brief moment, he thought about who he'd kill first. On one hand, he didn't know anything about Gamzee, aside from the time when he lost his mind and caused the most damage to the Black King. God knows what else he was capable of. On the other, he actually did know what Vriska was capable of, with her luck thieving powers. He knew she was actually a danger to him.

Wait. A noise, like the pattering of footsteps, came from his left. He turned his attention, and his jaw nearly dropped at what he saw.

Kanaya. She ran past him, Eridan's very own cape covering her wound and flapping behind her, her skin mysteriously glowing pure white. As soon as she charged up to Gamzee, her foot connected with his bulge, sending him flying off the side of the roof. She turned to the Thief as quickly as she could, and sprinted at her. Her fist smashed Vriska's cheek, sending her flying across the roof with her dice rolling with her.

And then she turned to him. Her anger grew even more, and she walked briskly over to him. Eridan could've blasted her away with his White Science, but he found himself unable to move a muscle. She stopped dead in front of him, and snatched Eridan's wand from his hand. Eridan watched as she snapped it in half with her bare hands, and pulled her lipstick from her captchalogue, turning it into a chainsaw. Eridan raised his hands in a futile attempt to defend himself, and screamed out, closing his eyes.

But then, the revving of the chainsaw ceased, and he heard a sigh come from in front of him. He opened one eye cautiously, but saw that she had sheathed her weapon. He lowered his arms and opened his other eye. Kanaya looked him directly in the eyes, and grabbed his head with her hands, pulling it directly down into her knee. Eridan's head bounced off it like a ball, and he fell backwards, specks of violet coming from his mouth. He landed on the ground, holding his head with his hands, and let out a loud groan. Kanaya stood over him, and she finally spoke.

"You're Lucky Eridan, I Should Kill You For What You Did, But I Won't Stoop To Your Level."

Eridan gulped, and wiped the blood from his mouth. He sat up as Kanaya walked away from them, and called out to her.

"wwhere are you goin'?"

"To Find The Rest Of Our Friends. Don't Try Anything Else. Stay Here With Vriska. We'll Deal With You Two When We're All Together."

And as quick as she'd come, she left the roof, leaving Eridan and Vriska alone together, albeit away from each other. Eridan gave a glance over at Vriska, who watched Kanaya walk away, a small smile on her face and a longing look in her eyes. Eridan sighed, and unwrapped his scarf from around his neck, wiping his bloody face with it and chucking it to the ground. He slowly got up, his head continuing to ache, and staggered over to Vriska.

In the meantime, Vriska had snatched up her glasses and began examining the damage to them. Her attention turned to Eridan as he rocked up to her, and she gave him a sly smirk.

"Soooooooo, what did you end up doing to piss her off so much?" she asked.

Eridan frowned a frown of genuine embarrassment, and replied, "i wwent off the deep end, and kinda murdered fef, maybe murdered sol, destroyed the matriorb and wwounded kan. i planned on joining up wwith jack."

Vriska let out a chuckle, "Holy shit! That's a8solutely rich!"

Eridan folded his arms, and leaned forward, "wwell wwhat did you end up doing?"

Vriska raised her arms in a dramatic shrug, "I don't even know! May8e it's 8ecause I kissed Tavros and she had some red feelings for him? Who knows!"

"wwhat evver happened to him anyway?"

"Eh, don't worry your fins a8out it."

Eridan looked towards where Kanaya had gone, gazing at the stairs that led further down into the base, and said, "you know, i didn't think the girl had it in her to do something like that."

"I know! She just clocked me across the face like it was nothing! It was impressive." Vriska sighed, and under her breath, mumbled the next sentence, "and kind of hot."

Eridan turned to her again, an eyebrow raised, "wwhat wwas that?"

"What was what? Eridan, you must still 8e suffering from madness. I didn't say anything, you dope!"

Eridan pouted and turned away again. "i should probably go help find the others."

"Really? Even after what Kanaya said?"

"wwell i feel like i should. if there's any hope to find them, maybe the prince of the stuff could help."

"Really? The same Prince who destroys his aspect? Hey, may8e your secretly the Destroyer of Hope!"

Eridan rolled his eyes, and began making his way to the hatch leading to the stairs. "fuck off, serket. you havve fun with yourself on the roof."

Vriska smiled and gave him a condescending wave. "See you l8r, Ampora. Try not to murder any other of your red crushes!"

Eridan gave her one final flip of his middle finger as he descended the stairs, and slammed the hatch closed behind him.


	2. The Prince of Rage

**As requested, second chapter! I'll probably upload every week or so, so keep on the lookout!**

Eridan sighed, as he descended the last of the stairs, and ended up making his way through the hallways of the meteor base. The grey, featureless corridors only served to depress him even more, and make him feel guiltier for his decisions. The last time he'd walked down this hall, he'd had the intent on joining with the infamous Jack Noir, but now his only purpose was to make up for his misdeeds. He needed only find Kanaya right now, but he had something else he felt he could get off his chest while he did. He opened up the Trollian account on his glasses, and contacted his red-blooded former friend.

caligulasAquarium (CA) began Trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG)

CA: uh  
CA: hey kar  
CA: wwhat's up  
CG: WHAT  
CG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU MEAN  
CG: 'WHAT'S'  
CG: 'UP'  
CG: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IS UP, IN CASE YOU BANGED YOUR DOUCHEY THINK PAN ON WHATEVER HIPSTER BULLCRAP YOU CALL ENTERTAINMENT  
CG: YOU JUST KILLED FEFERI  
CG: YOU JUST KNOCKED OUT SOLLUX  
CG: YOU PROBABLY KILLED KANAYA  
CG: YOU FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT AND RAN OFF TO JOIN JACK  
CG: YOU BETRAYED US  
CG: WHEN I HELPED YOU  
CG: WHEN I GAVE YOU ROMANTIC ADVICE  
CG: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, KANAYA DID NOTHING TO YOU  
CG: AND THE CHERRY ON TOP?  
CG: YOU CONTACTED ME AGAIN  
CG: AND TALK TO ME LIKE NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED  
CG: THAT  
CG: YOU PRETENTIOUS FUCK  
CG: IS  
CG: WHAT'S UP  
CA: wwoww  
CA: i guess it wwouldnt matter if i said sorry  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CA: oh cmon kar, im fine noww  
CG: OH, FUCKING MAGNIFICENT  
CG: GOOD TO KNOW  
CG: I MIGHT MAKE YOUR BEATING A BIT LESS PAINFUL THEN  
CG: BUT DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH  
CG: OR ACTUALLY, DO  
CA: listen, i dont need a beatin from you too  
CG: TOO?  
CA: kan came and knocked some sense into me  
CA: i'm still bleedin  
CG: WAIT  
CG: KANAYA'S ALIVE?  
CA: yeah  
CG: WELL…  
CG: I GUESS THAT'S GOOD  
CG: YOU'RE STILL DEAD TO ME  
CG: AND SINCE YOU'RE NOT A BIG PROBLEM RIGHT NOW  
CG: I CAN FOCUS ON THE OTHER PSYCHOTIC KILLER ROAMING AROUND RIGHT NOW  
CA: wwho  
CA: gam or vvris  
CG: VRISKA'S MURDERING PEOPLE TOO?  
CA: wwell, only tavvros from wwhat i knoww  
CA: but gams probably wworse  
CG: GOOD TO KNOW  
CG: SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CONTACTING ME?  
CA: i wwanted to help kan find you guys  
CG: WHY?  
CG: SO YOU CAN FINISH OFF SOLLUX?  
CA: kar please  
CA: i just wwanna help  
CG: WELL HELP KANAYA  
CG: BECAUSE I DON"T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AROUND ME AGAIN

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased Trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)

Eridan sighed a hefty sigh, and deactivated his Trollian app. For the while he'd been talking, he'd been following the tracks of Kanaya in the form of jade green blood, but he soon realised this was from when she'd been following him and promptly ran his hands down his grey face in frustration. He found himself at a crossroads, one way leading to the computer room where the former incident involving the death of Feferi. Another to the lower sections of the base, where he guessed Gamzee had fallen, but there was no way in hell he was risking that. He decided on the former option, and started his way back to the computer room, but was interrupted when he noticed the clanking of footsteps on the metal floor behind him. He stopped in his tracks, and closed his eyes in hoping that it wasn't Gamzee, as the footsteps continued to crawl up behind him.

"3R1D4N?" A familiar raspy voice called out. Eridan opened his eyes and wiped his forehead in relief, turning around to face Terezi. She had her head tilted, and her glasses were missing from her face, her FLARPing clothes adorning her and a small puppet in her hand. Eridan always found that Terzi's eye's freaked him out, the completely red balls never showing what or who she was staring at, yet she somehow still showed a lot of emption during conversations.

"oh, terezi, hey. its good to see you alivve, i guess," Eridan managed to stumble out.

The Seer of Mind raised an eyebrow at him. "WHY WOULD 1 NOT B3?"

"because evveryone is dyin lately. havvent you noticed?"

"OF COURS3!" She gave him an excited smile. "4ND 1 H4V3 TH3 SN34K1NG SUSP1C1ON TH4T OUR V3RY OWN VR1SK4 1S B3H1ND S41D MURD3RS!"

"yeah i-" Eridan stopped himself. "wwait. murders? as in multiple?" Terezi nodded. "wwell, youre wwrong there, ter. vvriska only killed one person."

Terezi's smile disappeared as she said, "W41T, SH3 WH4T? BUT WH4T 4BOUT T4VROS? OR N3P3T4 4ND 3QU1US?"

"only tav, im sorry to disappoint you."

Terezi raised her arms in protest. "K4N4Y4? F3F3R1? WH4T 4BOUT G4MZ33?"

Eridan rubbed his shoulder awkwardly, "uh yeah, that wwas me. wwell, fef wwas. kan is still alivve, and gam is probably evven wworse than vvris. he's the one responsible for equius and the cat-girl."

Terezi lowered her arms and pouted, huffing a sigh of disappointment. "SO 1 W4S WRONG? 4ND YOU'R3 S4Y1NG TH4T SW33T, PR3C1OUS G4MZ33 K1LL3D TH3 MOST OF US?"

Eridan looked at her with shock, and spat out, "thats wwhat youre mad about? that gam wwas a murderer?"

"OH, F1RST OF 4LL, 1 4M S4D 4T TH3 D34TH OF OUR FR13NDS, DON'T G3T M3 WRONG! S3CONDLY, YOU K1LL3D ON3 OF TH3M!"

Eridan fiddled his fingers together. "wwell, thats different. at least im reformed."

Terezi scrunched up her face. "4ND TH4T M4K3S 1T OK4Y?"

"I Assure You, It Doesn't." Eridan and Terezi turned to the hall leading to the computer room, where they had heard Kanaya's voice come from. Kanaya had apparently gotten pretty close to them and they hadn't even noticed. She stopped just in front of Eridan, and seemed to be supporting another troll, Sollux, on her left shoulder, while Karkat followed her rear. Eridan's cape was still wrapped around her waist, while Sollux had ditched his glasses and his eyes were now coloured black and white. Karkat and Kanaya were noticeably spiteful at Eridan, while Sollux was indifferent to the situation.

Terezi glanced between Eridan and the others, before moving back towards where Eridan had come from. "OK4Y, 1'LL JUST F1ND VR1SK4 BY MYS3LF. YOU GUYS H4V3 SOM3 ISSU3S TO F1GUR3 OUT." And with that, she slipped away. Eridan continued to feel the glaring looks of the others on the back of his neck, and turned around to face his former friends.

He gave them an awkward wave of the hand, and said, "hey kan. kar. sol." The trio continued to stare at him, their eyes burning straight through his skull. "sooooo, howws the wwound kan? is it alright? can i, uh, get my cape back oooooor…?"

Kanaya scoffed, scowling at him, and spat, "What Are You Doing Here, Ampora? I Ordered You To Stay Up On The Roof With Vriska."

"wwell, i wwould of, but i felt like i could help find kar or somethin, but you apparently havve that under control."

"FUCK YOU, YOU CROTCH SMELLING DOUCHE!" Karkat yelled, as he usually did, "YOU DON'T GET THE GOD DAMN RIGHT TO JUST ACT LIKE YOU DID NOTHING!"

Eridan recoiled a little at Karkats' outburst, and cried out, "but i apologised!"

"NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T! YOU TRIED TO SAY SORRY, AND AS I MENTIONED, IT WOULDN'T HELP ANYWAY. AN APOLOGY, NO MATTER HOW SINCERE YOU THINK YOU ARE, IS NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU DID!"

"oh come on kar, i don't understand wwhy you cant just forgive me! i didn't do anything to you!"

"DIDN'T DO ANYT-" Karkat ran his hands through his hair angrily, and muffled out a scream of frustration. "YOU DENSE GRUB-FUCCKER! YOU ATTEMPTED TO MURDER TWO OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS, AND MURDERED FEFERI, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! AND WHY, GOG TELL, DID YOU DO THAT? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS!"

"kar, it wwas more complicated than that. you wwouldnt understand!"

"WOULDN'T UNDERS-" Karkat attempted to push past Kanaya, but she used her free arm to stop him. "I'LL FUCKING SLIT YOUR JUGGULAR, YOU PRUPLE PIECE OF GARBAGE!"

"Karkat!" Kanaya barked, "Contain Yourself. Because I'm About To Do It Myself." Her attention turned back towards Eridan. "Eridan, I Am Very Close To Doing… What Was It Again?"

"SLITTING HIS DUMB, ASSHOLE JUGULAR."

"Ah Yes, That Was It. So Give Me One Reason Why I Shouldn't."

"because kan, i'm fine noww! i just wwanna help do somethin."

Kanaya sighed, and held out her free hand. "Then Give Me Your Glasses."

"wwhat?! i'm not givin you my glasses!"

"Give Me Your Gog Damn Glasses Before I Tear Them Off Your Corpse!"

Eridan held up an arm, and used the other to cautiously take off his glasses, showing his naked eyes. He held them out, allowing Kanaya to snatch them off of him and disgustedly put them on her own face. She then began to walk the way Terezi had gone, back towards the roof, with Karkat and Sollux in tow, but not without a growl coming from Karkat.

"wwhere are you goin?" Eridan called out.

"To The Roof With Terezi."

"wwell wwhat about me?"

"Don't Care. Maybe Gamzee Will Come And Put You Out Of Your Misery."

Eridan attempted to protest, but after looking down the stairs beside him and hearing a distant honk, he hightailed his way to the roof as well.


	3. The Prince of Time

**Prince of Heart-Ayy, new week, new chapter. Took one of those tests recently telling you what class and aspect you'd be, and I got the Prince o' Heart! Don't know why I'm happy about it, since Princes are basically the worst thing to happen ever, but eh! Still get a sweet purple get-up!**

Eridan lowered his head as he followed Kanaya through the halls all the way back to the roof. He kept nervously rubbing his arm in embarrassment, and noticed the annoyed little glances that both Kanaya and Karkat would give him every minute. Unfortunately, he couldn't help himself from blushing in embarrassment every time they did so, his cheeks turning a deep violet.

He had found himself banging into a few objects along the way, even though the hall was pretty much empty. With his glasses currently being held by Kanaya, he found his long sightedness to be the bane of his existence. He gave a nervous and uncomfortable groan as he smashed his face into another worthless wall, and attempted to find something to do to get his mind off the awkward situation.

"uh, hey kar?" he carefully whispered.

She turned her head a bit and death stared him with one eye through Eridan's glasses. "What Is It?"

Eridan gulped, "wwell, uh, you still havve my glasses. are you done wwith them? could i maybe havve them back?"

Kanaya stopped dead in her tracks, causing Eridan to smash into her and Sollux's backs. Eridan backed away, putting his hands out in front of him in fear as Kanaya turned around to face him. Her height was defiant and imposing, as she had at least a few inches on Eridan's 5'6 height itself. If Eridan was a betting troll, he would've guessed maybe 5'9, but he wouldn't want to place any money on it. The Prince shrunk down instinctively as she leant in close, her eyes squinting through the glasses.

Eventually she pulled away, and took off the glasses, throwing them in the air. "Alright. I Was Finished With Them Anyway."

Eridan fumbled with them in the air, before finally grasping onto them. "th-thanks," he mumbled out.

He placed the glasses back on his head, his blurry vision turning clear, and opened the computer application to contact one of the humans.

caligulasAquarium (CA) began Trolling tentacleTherapist (TT)

CA: wwitch  
TT: Hmm?  
TT: Oh right, I remember you. You were that one troll obsessed with magic, right?  
CA: not magic  
CA: science  
TT: Right, science. Blinding white science.  
TT: And for the last time, I'm a Seer, not a "wwitch."  
CA: quiet wwitch  
CA: i wwish to speak to you  
TT: Oh do you now?  
TT: Do you not remember the last time we spoke? The one with the computer explosion.  
CA: oh yeah  
CA: dont do that again  
TT: How are you contacting me again anyway?  
CA: my glasses  
TT: Oh.  
TT: Well, out of a desire to not murder you, I will try my best.  
CA: good  
TT: So what, pray tell, is so important that you'd contact a "wwitch" like myself?  
CA: wwell its kinda embarrassin  
CA: but i kinda sorta  
CA: uh  
CA: killed someone i cared about  
CA: and pissed off another couple of people that i considered friends  
TT: Kanaya and Karkat, right?  
CA: how did you know  
TT: Kanaya told me all about that a moment ago.  
TT: Before you contacted me.  
CA: oh  
TT: So why did you contact me?  
CA: cause youre the smartest and the least assholeish in the rabble you call a group  
CA: at least as far as i knoww  
TT: Gosh, you really mean it?  
TT: Well you certainly know the way to a girl's heart.  
CA: i really dont  
CA: anywway, i need your advvice  
CA: on kan  
TT: Why not ask one of your troll friends? Wouldn't they be a better source?  
TT: Oh right, they all hate you.  
TT: Well what do you want me to tell you exactly?  
CA: i dont knoww  
CA: just anythin really  
TT: Well, honestly?  
TT: I'd recommend giving her space.  
CA: thats it  
CA: thats stupid advvice  
TT: It was a joke.  
TT: A pun on her aspect, to be exact.  
CA: that wwasnt funny  
TT: Well I thought it to be amusing.  
TT: In all seriousness though?  
TT: You just may need to wait and hope for the best.  
CA: fuck if youre not gonna take this seriously i may as wwell go to the other wwitch for help  
TT: But I was enjoying your company as I spy upon my friends!  
CA: you know for royalty you sure are a hassle to talk to  
TT: Royalty?  
TT: Oh right, the purple thing.  
TT: And besides, I was being serious.  
TT: Just wait for the wound to heal.  
TT: Pun intended.  
CA: so i just do nothin  
TT: Basically.  
CA: wwell how do i knoww wwhen to finally do somethin  
TT: You won't. That's the thing.  
TT: She's the one that has to forgive you. And that'll take time.  
CA: that  
CA: is  
CA: the wworst fuckin advvice i've heard in my life  
CA: you wwere wworthless, wwitch  
TT: …  
CA: i cant wwait to meet you in person  
CA: it wwill be more satisfying to tell you wwhat a fuckin disgrace to your royal bloodline you are  
TT: If you say so.  
TT: Don't say I didn't try.  
CA: fuck you thats all im gonna say  
TT: Whatever you want, "my prince."  
TT: Are we done? The actual witch requires my attention.  
CA: thats a stupid idea  
CA: lower bloods like her are the reason youre a disgrace  
TT: Oh, it's been a pleasure.  
TT: What was your name again?  
CA: eridan ampora  
TT: Right.  
TT: I look forward to meeting you in person, Eridan.  
TT: Ciao.

tentacleTherapist (TT) blocked caligulasAquarium (CA)

Eridan scowled, opening his contacts back up as the group neared the roof. He wanted someone else to speak to after the absolutely worthless advice given to him by the human witch. Who did she think she was, giving people terrible advice in order to spite them. It's a shame the humans had to have such a pathetic royal blooded girl as their superior.

He could probably contact the other witch, but she didn't seem as calm headed as her friend, and Eridan didn't need another conversation with her again. The stubborn girl might just give him the last push he needed to snap all over again. That left the last two humans, the ones he hadn't spoken with before, the two males of the group. He hovered over the red text of turntechGodhead, tempted to actually take advice from the lesser blooded of the two, but decided against it and contacted ectoBiologist instead.

caligulasAquarium (CA) began Trolling ectoBiologist (EB)

CA: hello there human  
EB: oh! well what do you know  
EB: a troll i havnt met yet!  
EB: soooo  
EB: hi there.  
CA: uh yeah, i feel wweird contactin you outta the blue  
CA: but its important  
EB: oh, well, shoot  
EB: i'm all ears!  
CA: really  
CA: just like that  
EB: i mean, i've talked to quite a few of your buddies  
EB: and they seem pretty nice!  
EB: so you cant be too bad, can you?  
CA: wwell  
CA: i kinda am  
EB: oh  
EB: how bad?  
CA: i killed someone i cared about  
EB: oh  
EB: and?  
CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean and  
EB: oh, no disrespect!  
EB: its just  
EB: i already had a conversation like this with vriska!  
EB: and  
EB: i dont know  
EB: i kind of got the impression that was a common thing  
CA: wwell thats true i guess  
CA: wwell  
CA: wwhat did you tell her  
EB: depends, did you like them?  
CA: yeah  
EB: and do you regret killing them?  
CA: i  
CA: dont really knoww  
CA: i mean i guess  
CA: but at the same time  
CA: i kinda dont  
EB: why?  
CA: wwhy wwhat  
EB: why do you "kinda don't?"  
EB: you said you liked them, didnt you?  
CA: i did  
CA: but she didnt like me back  
CA: in fact  
CA: she actually liked someone that wwasnt royalty  
CA: not even a noble  
CA: just some peasant blood  
EB: what!  
EB: you killed her because you were jealous?  
CA: yeah  
CA: i gavve her an out and she still wwouldnt accept it  
CA: wwhat else wwas i supposed to do  
EB: jeez  
EB: you trolls are really emotionally unstable  
CA: are you going to help or wwhat  
EB: i dont really know how though!  
EB: you cant really take back killing someone  
CA: no not help wwith that  
CA: i also kinda pissed off twwo of my other friends  
CA: and i need to knoww howw to make them forgivve me  
EB: god, i dont know  
EB: why dont you ask rose for help?  
CA: the wwitch gavve me wworthless advvice  
CA: and im beginning to doubt her vvalidity as a wwitch  
EB: i thought rose was a seer  
EB: but anyway, i dont really know what to say  
EB: i mean, if this is as common as i think, then i dont know why they care!  
CA: wwell i also might havve tried to kill one of them as wwell  
CA: and betrayed both of their trusts  
EB: oh, uh  
EB: thats a lot worse than what vriska did!  
EB: kind of  
EB: well i guess she still killed all those people  
EB: speaking of which, how is she going  
CA: wwhat  
EB: sorry, was that too forward?  
CA: wwhat  
EB: like, the thing is  
EB: damn it, this is weird  
EB: i might be thinking too far ahead  
EB: shit, am i revealing too much?  
EB: im sorry if youre weirded out!  
EB: because apparently vriska wants to date me?  
EB: or something like that  
EB: according to karkat at least  
EB: its weird to think that an alien might like me  
EB: i dont think i could even get a human to like me in that way!  
EB: you get what im saying?  
CA: wwhat  
CA: the fuck  
CA: are you talkin about  
CA: you knoww wwhat youre evven wworse than the wwitch  
CA: humans are fuckin terrible at advvice  
CA; thanks for nothin  
CA: i hope you all die

caligulasAquarium (CA) ceased Trolling ectoBiologist (EB)

EB: nice meeting you

Eridan placed his hands over his mouth to muffle the frustrated scream that was caused by the humans. Showed him for putting any sort of trust into an obviously inferior race. Running his hands though his hair and horns, he looked in front of him at the stairway up to the roof. He wondered what Vriska and Terezi were doing up there, but dismissed the thought as Kanaya turned around to face him.

"Eridan, Dont You Dare Think Of Starting Any Conflict With Vriska Once We Get Up There," she ordered, "Because The Last Thing I Need Is Yours And Vriskas Incessant Bickering. Are We Clear?" Eridan nodded hastily, not wanting to anger her, and followed her as she ascended the steps with Sollux and Karkat.

 **Sorry for a kind of filler chapter! Next chapter will have all kinds of drama, I promise! -Prince of Heart**


	4. The Prince of Space

**Prince of Heart- ayy, little tidbit of info: I actually hated Eridan my first read-through of Homestuck. But then I kinda got into him as a character (and by get into him I mean become completely obsessed) on my second read-through after hearing the song 'Ugly Story'- check it out if you haven't! Seriously, it's pretty good!**

Karkat was the first to rush through the door to the roof, eager to see whatever Terezi was doing up here, followed by Kanaya and Sollux, and finally Eridan. As Eridan stepped out into the roof, he saw Kanaya and Sollux stopped in front of him, obscuring his view. He cautiously stepped beside them, and pulled his attention away from them in favour of the scene that lay out before them. Eridan let out an audible 'oh' as he saw Vriska's lifeless body sprawled out on the floor, a pool of her blue blood around her. Terezi stood over her, her cane sword unsheathed and covered with the Thief's blood, with diluted Teal tears running down her face. Karkat attempted to say something to her, but instead opted to just tap her on the shoulder. She turned to face him, and Karkat gave her a look of genuine concern, before Terezi closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him. Eridan could've sworn he saw the two share a kiss, but was unsure from the distance, so he just dismissed it.

He passed Kanaya, prompting her to watch him as he did, and he made his way past Terezi and Karkat, whom were still embracing. He heard a couple of tid-bits from their whispers, notably 'SH3 M4D3 M3, 1 H4D TO…' and 'DON'T THINK ABOUT, THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO." Though he paid no attention to it, as he stood over Vriska's body, the blood still spilling out around her. Eridan saw his shoes become covered with the stuff, though he made no effort to avoid it as he knelt beside her body, and tilted his head down.

He heard a voice speak up behind him, "What Are You Doing?"

Eridan kept his head down as he replied, "payin my respects."

Kanaya placed her hand on her hip, "Respects? But I Thought You Two Disliked Each Other."

Eridan sighed, "i knoww, but i… i dont knoww. i guess i feel kinda bad for her. vvris didnt deservve a death like this."

"Why Do You Care About Her Death? You Were Planning On Killing Her Yourself Minutes Ago, Weren't You?"

"it's wweird. i shouldnt, but its like i still respected her. and respectin is a wwhole lot different than likin." Eridan turned his head towards her. "i guess, if i killed her, i wwouldvve gotten some satisfaction with knowin that i got the last laugh, and she wwouldvve gotten a noble and dignified death. but it just seems like she was stabbed wwhen her back wwas turned. She nevver stood a chance."

Eridan looked back towards the ground, and a single Violet tear fell down his cheek. "kan, wwhy cant i just care for someone wwithout them leavvin me? do i just bore them? am i too intense? vvris and i had a good thing goin in our FLARPin days, but then she just left. wwas i that pathetically clingy? i guess i cant blame her, or fef, or the shipper girl for hating me wwhen im just some pathetic excuse for royalty. fef had the right idea, and evveryone lovved her- maybe if hadnt been such a murderous psychopath, maybe things coulda wworked out for us. but i just cant help it, i wwas taught to be like this, and i dont knoww if i can change. i think i passed that point a long time ago."

Eridan stood up, and turned to the Sylph. He wiped away the stain that the tear had made against his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"wwhy didnt you kill me, kan?" he plead, "you had no reason not to, so wwhy the fuck didnt you do it?"

Kanaya stood there for a second, her mouth hanging open slightly and her hand under her chin in thought, before answering, "As I Previously Said, I'm Not You. I Don't Want To Solve My Problems With Cold Blooded Murder."

Eridan scoffed, "is it really considered murder if its justified? cause i wwoulda called it justice. all the things i did today, and somehoww im still goin. fuck, maybe gam was right. Maybe there are miracles in this wworld. next thing i knoww, its gonna turn out that magic is real too."

He made a soft clicking noise with his mouth, and held out a hand to Kanaya. "could i please havve my cape back?"

Kanaya looked at him, disgusted. "You're Really Asking Me That? Why Would You Even Want To Wear It Anymore?"

Eridan pouted at her, and his eyes almost seemed to sparkle. "not to wwear kan. i wwanna covver her body with it. it seems kinda disrespectful to leavve her body lying out here."

Kanaya opened her mouth in protest, wanting to mention Feferi's corpse still in the computer room, but instead closed it and sighed. She unwrapped the cape from around her torso, revealing the small and gaping hole that allowed Eridan to look right through her, and held it out to Eridan. Eridan looked at her for a moment, surprised that she didn't just chuck it at him, but eventually took it from her. He gave her a nod in return, and knelt back down beside Vriska. Luckily his cape was a few inches longer than him, so it managed to cover Vriska's body entirely. It really sucked for him, being short.

"you knoww she didnt knoww you liked her?" Eridan suddenly said. "she still thought that you liked tavv. you shoulda said somethin, you knoww?" Eridan chuckled, though it was obviously forced, as he then gave a weary sigh, before turning to Kanaya. "kan, do you think i should just… i dont knoww… kill myself before i hurt any others?"

Kanaya's eyes opened widely at the question, but before she could answer, a noise was heard from behind them. A noise that sounded vaguely like a…

Honk.

There he was. The Purple blood, Gamzee. Eridan nearly jumped out of his skin, but stumbled back in fright. In front of him, Terezi and Karkat's attention had turned to Gamzee as well, but Sollux looked around confusedly in search of the source of the sound. Gamzee stepped forward, a small smile on his scratched face and brown blood around his mouth.

"HONK MOTHERFUCKIN' HONK motherfuckers," he screamed, though the last word was spoken in a normal tone. "LISTEN TO MY requests, YOU BLASPHEMOUS friends of mine. I AM LOOKING to get my MOTHERFUCKIN' kill on WITH A VERY SPECIFIC blue blooded fairy. I WANT TO SEE HER, if i may?"

No-one answered for a few seconds, before Eridan stood to the side. "uh, terezi already beat you to it."

Gamzee's smile disappeared. "WHAT, MOTHERFUCKIN' what? I DIDNT EVEN GET to avenge my dear, departed flushed bro TAVROS? well, then," he pulled his juggling clubs from his inventory, "I GUESS YOU GUYS will have to motherfuckin' do."


	5. Attempt Dangerous 6X Showdown Combo

**Prince of Heart- Yoooo double digit followers! That's double the chapters I've made, which is really cool! Anyways, ready for the 6x Showdown Combo? Of course not, that's nearly half a dozen people!**

 **Eridan: Participate in the rare and hyper-dangerous 6x Showdown Combo**

That last line made Eridan quiver in his boots, as he stared at Gamzee along with Karkat, Kanaya, and Terezi. The clown had a wide and unsettling smile on his face, his intentions quite clear to Eridan, and took a step towards the group. Eridan tore his eyes off the Bard to find someone in their group, anyone, who could do something, as Eridan still found himself without a weapon.

His gaze first fell on Karkat, whom had taken the front line against Gamzee, his sickle in hand. His scowl seemed concerned rather than angry, though it obviously had no effect on the all too crazy clown. Despite this, he seemed ready to pounce upon Gamzee, eager to incapacitate him, one way or another.

Then he turned to Kanaya, the Jade-blooded Sylph seemingly more ready to fight than the Knight in front of them. She reached into the pocket of her skirt, now stained from her brightly coloured green blood that dripped from her wound, and pulled out her lipstick. She had unfortunately been unable to change her clothes before coming back to the roof, but she had none-the-less decided to tough it out. With a twist of the top of the stick, the thing transformed into her signature chainsaw, and she stood her ground ready to back up the Knight.

His attention was then drawn to the Seer, who had re-sheathed her sword into her cane. The weapon remained coated in a thick layer of blue blood, some of it dripping outside the hilt of the cane. Her tears had ceased sliding down her face, the remaining Teal stains all dried up and her puffy cheeks had deflated, while her glasses slid half-way down her nose. Eridan could tell she had no intent on killing him, though was confused as to why; he thought she'd be getting off on all that justice stuff, an eye for eye if anything. But instead, she seemed reluctant to fight.

Then finally there was Sollux, who had moved behind the group with all the attention shifted to Gamzee in front of them. The Mage held his head in his hands, his mouth gaping open, with his attention directed to the small puppet Terezi had brought up with her. Eridan guessed he maybe thought it was Gamzee or something, but chalked it up to just Sollux being bipolar, as usual.

And then he drew his attention to Gamzee. Eridan pulled away slightly, but stood rooted into his position. He forced a brave and defiant frown onto his face that could've tricked anyone into thinking he could take on Gamzee, but inside, he felt like just breaking down and crying for help. He found himself devoid of the hope of winning. If a fall off the building couldn't kill the clown, then what could?

Apparently, his disguise was almost too effective, as Karkat had ditched his original position and walked back towards Eridan. Eridan had raised his fists, but Karkat pushed them back down. He then wrapped his arm around Eridan, and placed a finger over Eridan's lips as he attempted to speak up. The action caused Eridan to blush a deep Violet, before Karkat let go of the Prince. He then walked off, comforting each member of their team with various paps and shooshes, and decided to confront Gamzee himself.

The Knight ran took a couple of calm steps towards the Bard, then broke into a light sprint. His wrath came to an immediate stop as the significantly shorter Karkat, coming in at 5 foot 6, gently grabbed onto the 6 foot 5 Gamzee's face, and began to pap it. Gamzee let out a blood-curdling scream, but Karkat continued his mission, adding a small shooshing sound to calm him. Against all odds the clown actually began to calm down, his loud cries and honks turning into worn out groans, before picking up once more, and finally settling down, causing Gamzee to completely stop screaming. After Gamzee had finished, Karkat pulled him into a deep hug, the both of them with small smiles on their faces.

Eridan narrowed his eyes, and heaved an audible sigh. He couldn't help feeling disappointed at the actions taken by the Knight, but decided to feel grateful that the clown had ceased his murderous rampage.

Karkat pulled away from Gamzee, and held one arm around his Pale bro while he addressed the team, "ALRIGHT, THAT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED." Eridan found it strange to see Karkat genuinely smiling, as he'd only seen such smiles when the two used to gossip about their friends. "SO, I GUESS WE OUGHT TO FLY TO WHEREVER THE FUCK THE GREEN SUN IS. SO ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE WE'D FIND A GREEN SUN IN THE MIDLLE OF BULGE-FUCK NOWHERE?"

As if caused by fate itself, the two trolls that could see who were in front of Karkat looked up behind him at a small green dot far in the distance. Eridan gave a wave, signalling Karkat's attention, and pointed at the dot, allowing Karkat to look at it.

"WHOA, THAT HAS TO BE IT," Karkat exclaimed, as Terezi walked up beside him.

She took a couple of sniffs in the air, and pointed slightly to the right of the dot. "1T H4S TO B3! SOLLUX, C4N YOU G3T US TH3R3?"

"get us where?" Sollux asked, as Karkat gently wrapped his hand around Terezi's wrist and guided her hand over to where the Green Sun actually was. "i'm just kidding, i kn0w where t0 g0."

"HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU? YOU'RE BLIND, REMEMBER?"

"i d0n't kn0w. it's weird, i just get this feeling like i'm already there 0r s0mething, y0u kn0w?"

"Are You Capable Of Getting Us There?" Kanaya asked.

"i can try," Sollux said, unconvincingly.

"THAT'S ALL WE NEED."

"0k," Sollux sighed, placing two fingers on his forehead. He breathed in deeply, and at first, groaned, but eventually it turned into a scream. The meteor slowly inched forward, before being thrust forward at incredible speeds, causing the trolls all to lose their balance, a couple falling while others just stumbled. Eridan gained his footing, and looked up at the ever-closing sun, eager to finally meet the humans that he despised so.


	6. The Prince of Mind

**Prince of Heart- God I love the relationship between Eridan and the humans. Like, he's such a little jerk who doesn't understand sarcasm. But he's my little jerk. Have I mentioned how much I love Eridan? Anyways, enjoy folks and folkettes!**

After just a few minutes of hyper speed travel, courtesy of the now surely dead Sollux, the meteor slowed down and eventually came to a halt in front of the Green Sun. Eridan instinctively covered his eyes, for what good it would've done, but soon realised that no-one was going blind from staring at the sun, so he revealed his eyes. Eridan gasped at the size of the sun, as even when he looked left or right, he found that he couldn't see the end of it. A few spouts of green fire flared up from the sun, though none of them came anywhere near the meteor. Eridan took off his glasses and wiped them with his sleeve, checking to see if he was hallucinating, but it became obvious that the sun in front of him was the real deal.

Placing his glasses back on his face, Eridan turned to the rest of the group, who had gathered around Sollux's body. He walked up to them, and gazed over the lifeless corpse, examining the mustard coloured blood that seeped from his eyes and mouth, and gagged at all the goriness. He swallowed and turned away, letting out a sigh.

"WELL, FUCK," Karkat choked out, his eyes welling up with tears. "I THINK THIS IS FOR REAL THIS TIME. HE'S REALLY NOT COMING BACK."

Kanaya placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm Sorry, But Look On The Bright Side. We Made it, Did We Not?"

Karkat wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I GUESS. I WISH THE IDIOT WOULD STOP DYING THOUGH." Karkat said those last words with sadness rather than spite.

"As Do I. But These Things Are Unavoidable, And We Can Only Focus On Moving On. And Speaking Of Moving On," Kanaya placed her hands on her hips, the hole in her stomach still leaking blood and her skin still glowing a bright white, and gazed up at the sun. "What Do We Do Now?"

Eridan stepped back from the group, whom were all swapping ideas as to what to do, and looked over Vriska's covered body. He felt tempted to get one last look at her, but decided to leave her in peace. He didn't know if he was the lucky one, considering most of his friends hated him now, when it came to living. He looked over at his wand, which laid in half across the roof, and then in front of her body, where her computer sat with the Trollian app open. He moved around her body, and sat down at the computer. He found one conversation still currently ongoing, the one with the blue texted human, and decided to read over it. He found himself surprised that the boy wasn't lying when Eridan last talked to him, Vriska had been flirting with him pretty hard, going so far as to ask him on a date. He placed his hand under his chin, pondering whether he should tell John of Vriska's death, and eventually replied.

ectoBiologist (EB) began Pestering arachnidsGrip (AG)

EB: hey, are you there?  
EB: i did what you said...  
EB: but i can't tell if it worked.  
EB: hello?  
EB: you didn't fly off to fight jack yet, did you?  
EB: i hope not.  
EB: anyway, all that stuff you said sounds fun to me, i have hells of the cage flicks in my library.  
EB: i do not even care that you're an alien! you see, cage is the universal constant which unites us all.  
EB: well...  
EB: if you haven't flown away...  
EB: i will look forward to your message in the future.  
EB: it would be nice to talk, about...  
EB: all this stuff that happened.  
EB: anyway, bye.  
AG: wwoww  
AG: you wwerent lyin wwere you  
EB: vriska?  
EB: whats with the typing?  
EB: you kind of type like that guy i talked to way back.  
EB: he was pretty intense. not as intense as karkat, but still pretty dang intense!  
EB: but he was kind of cool! like…  
EB: well, like karkat.  
EB: he will take some getting used to, but i think we would be buddies.  
AG: wwill you shut your lowwly blue mouth  
AG: oh my gog  
AG: you and that spider bitch  
AG: gog bless her soul  
AG: are fuckin perfect for each other  
AG: and its great to see that she wwent downhill in the datin scene after our thing ended  
EB: i am guessing you're not vriska.  
AG: no shit  
AG: alloww me to elaborate  
AG: …  
AG: …  
EB: uh, hello?  
EB: what exactly are you elaborating?  
AG: just hold on  
AG: fuck this is a lot harder than i thought  
AG: so you knoww wwhat  
AG: you can find out for yourself  
EB: oh, well whatever you say! very excited to.  
EB: could you ask her if the offer for a date is still on…?  
EB: i'm sorry, but what was your name again?  
AG: eridan  
EB: oh, cool name!  
EB: could you do me that one favour, though?  
AG: no wwhat do i look like a fuckin loww blooded dud  
AG: or actually  
AG: yeah sure  
AG: i wwill let her knoww  
EB: thank you!  
EB: now, i better get this scratch started.  
EB: wish me luck, eridan?  
AG: theres no such thing as luck  
AG: only vvile blooded wrigglers believve in luck  
EB: uh, sure. whatever you say! bye eridan!

ectoBiologist (EB) ceased Pestering arachnidsGrip (AG)

Eridan closed down the application, just as he heard someone calling his name from the group. He closed the laptop, and whipped around to face the rest of the group, who had grown in size. As he got up, he examined the new and returning members of the group, which consisted of Aradia, Sollux, the human witch, and another human Eridan hadn't seen before. Aradia and the two humans were each dressed in elaborate clothes, Aradia and the male human in red and the witch in yellow and orange.

The witch smirked her black lips at him, a look of mocking in her eyes. "Oh, so you're Eridan, aren't you? The pretentious troll with an obsession of blood colour?" As Eridan got to the group, she held out her pale hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet your acquaintance."

Eridan narrowed his eyes at her, and slapped her hand away. "there is no way in hell i am touchin such a disgrace to the human royal family!"

The other human chuckled, "holy shit, you convinced him you were royalty? that is fucking hilarious."

"Well, it's more like he convinced himself," Rose interjected.

"oh man, i cant be too hard on the guy. i mean, look at him, hes on a whole layer of irony that most could only dream of. hes like an irony demigod, and if were very lucky, hell bless us with a thousand fucking years of shitty jpeg artifacts."

Eridan raised an eyebrow. "wwhat are you talkin about?"

Dave gestured to each of the Prince's clothing articles. "i mean, you gotta be wearing that shit as a joke, right? the scarf, the hair, its purely ironic, right?"

Eridan looked at him, his feelings hurt, and scoffed, "i assure you that this is the vvery pinnacle of fashion!"

"wait, so that ain't ironic?" Dave choked the last two words out, and burst out in laughter. "oh my god, i cant believe thats serious!"

Eridan scrunched up his face, growling at the human, "how DARE you mock my impeccable fashion sense. youre just jealous that you couldnt pull off somethin like this!"

Dave's laughter got louder, and he began choking on his own laughter. "holy shit, rose can you fucking believe this guy? here i was giving him the benefit of the doubt, but it turns out he is that much of a nerd." Dave placed a hand on Eridan's shoulder to steady himself, but Eridan pushed it off.

"wwhy are you laughing? stop laughing, you loww blooded latrine!"

The witch gently pushed the other human out of the way, a sly smile on her face. "Excuse him, he just doesn't understand us "royal bloods," don't you think?"

Eridan looked her up and down, and crossed his arms in a huff. "i dont get you, wwitch. wwhy must you confuse me by denying your bloodline sometimes while embracin it other times?"

"IT'S SARCASM, DUMBASS," Karkat interrupted, "SHE'S NOT ROYALTY. THEY DON'T DIFFERENTIATE BY BLOOD COLOUR."

"wwhat," Eridan huffed, turning to the witch, "wwhy wwould you lead me on like that. wwhat angle are you playin, wwitch?"

The witch sighed, "I never lead you on, you were just too pretentious to realise the obviousness of my ruse. And can you stop calling me witch? My name's Rose, and my friend is Dave."

"fine, rose. if that is your real name!"

"It is. Please don't act like it's anything else."

"i cant tell anymore. youvve betrayed my trust, "rose" and i don't knoww wwhat to believve."

"Eridan," Kanaya placed a hand on his shoulder, "How About You Let Us Talk To Our New Friends, And We Will Call On You If We Need You."

Eridan pouted, and kept his gaze away from Rose. "but wwhy should i? i didnt do anythin."

"I Understand That, But I Do Not Want You Frustrating Our New Guests. Wait Until We Find Out What We Are Doing Next, Then We Can Exchange Courtesies. Why Dont You Talk To Gamzee While We…" She looked around the group, before letting go of Eridan. "Now Where Did He Go? Did Anyone See Where He Went?"

"WHO, G4MZ33?" Terezi asked. "1 DONT KNOW. BUT H3 TOOK VR1SK4 4ND SOLLUXS BOD13S." She pointed to where Vriska and Sollux had been, which had only separate pools of blood where they once laid.

"Oh, Really. Is That The Game He Is Playing." Kanaya grabbed her lipstick from her Strife Specibus, morphing it into a chainsaw.

Eridan placed his hands on his hips, a look of confusion on his face. "he evven took my cape! i mean, it wwasnt my only one, but come on!"

Kanaya began to walk off, and Karkat called out to her, "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?"

"Clown Hunting," She replied, disappearing down the stairs.

Dave came and stood beside Eridan, his arms crossed. "man, what was her deal. she acted like whoever shes looking for murdered a couple of her friends or something."

"Isn't that what you told me you did, Eridan?" Rose asked rather matter-of-factly.

"okay, wwell first of all, i killed one person, and, because sol technically doesnt count."

"hOw the fuck do I nOt cOunt?" Sollux asked.

"because you didnt die."

"well i ObviOusly did."

"HOLY FUCK, IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Karkat yelled. "ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT I GUESS WE GOT TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK COMES NE-"

Karkat stopped when he heard a loud sound, much like a ripping, and a small hole opened up above them. Eridan could spot one figure through the hole, whom was wearing blue coloured pyjamas not unlike the other two humans. He made movements with his mouth, though no-one heard anything that he said.

"WHAT?" Karkat screamed through the hole, seemingly recognising the character. "WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST SAY?"

Just as Karkat stepped up on his toes to get a better hear, the figure threw an object through the hole, hitting Karkat square in the face. He fell to the ground, screaming, as the object rolled towards Eridan, stopping dead in front of him. He jumped back in disgust, as he realised what the object was.

A bucket.


	7. The Prince of Doom

**Prince of Heart- Badda bing badda new chapter!**

The gang looked towards Eridan, each of the trolls recoiling away in disgust and awaiting his next action while the humans had a look of confusion on their faces. He looked down at the object at his feet, which still luckily had its contents laid safely inside. Relieving for Eridan was the fact that the bucket had nothing lewd inside it, just what seemed like a rolled up piece of paper, though Eridan remained confused as to why someone would use such an utterly disgusting object as a mailbox. He looked across the way at Karkat, who was reacting very dramatically to being hit by the bucket by wriggling around on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs. You know, the usual Karkat act.

Eridan glanced down at the bucket again, taking a nervous step towards it. He reached out his foot, and kicked the thing away, gagging at his own actions. The bucket rolled along the ground and hit Karkat on his side, prompting him to jump back and screech again.

He looked up at Eridan, and barked, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He jumped to his feet. "DO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK AND ADD TO YOUR BODY COUNT?"

Eridan placed his hands around his mouth and called to him, "theres somethin in the bucket!"

"OH THANK YOU ERIDAN, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME THAT *AFTER* YOU HIT ME WITH THE BUCKET!"

"youre wwelcome!" Eridan waved him off.

Karkat sighed and tentatively picked up the bucket, holding it out in front of him and walking over to the rest of the group. He stood beside Terezi, and pulled out the paper within, which turned out to be a poster of a movie called _Armageddon._ On the front were a couple of adult humans with extremely shitty jpeg art scribbled across them, while on the back was a paragraph of text written in John's blue text. Eridan watched Karkat's eyes gloss over the text, and saw his face go from his usual disgruntled frown to visible horror, and once he was done reading he looked up at the group. His gaze fell on Rose first, then slowly looked over at the stairs where Kanaya had gone. He pulled his eyes away and looked at Terezi beside him, and then towards Dave, before finally setting his eyes on the ground below him.

Dave looked over at Terezi, who gave him a shrug in response. Eridan stepped up to Karkat, about to tap him on the shoulder, but suddenly Karkat yelled out and jumped backward pointing at Terezi, Dave, and Rose while making various unintelligible screams. Eridan stumbled back into Aradia, while Karkat continued his mental breakdown.

Terezi sighed, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes with her fingers, "TRUST M3 GUYS, W3R3 MUCH COOL3R TH4N TH1S."

Dave questioned her. "are you though?"

Terezi grunted, "NO, 1 GU3SS NOT." Terezi put her glasses back on, walked over and slapped Karkat across the face, making him shut up. "COULD YOU, FOR ONC3, NOT B3 L1K3 TH1S? W3 H4V3 GOT GU3STS!"

"WHY DOES IT MATTER?" Karkat yold her, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ON THAT GLASSES WEARING FUCKPOD'S GOOD SIDE SO YOU CAN SLOPPILY MAKE OUT WITH HIM LATER?"

"WH4T!?" Terezi blushed teal, crossing her arms. "K4RK4T, STOP 1T! W3 4R3 JUST TRY1NG TO M4K3 4 GOOD 1MPR3SS1ON ON TH3 HUM4NS THAT W3 JUST FR34K1NG M3T UP W1TH 1N R34L L1F3!"

"YEAH, SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH THEM!"

Terezi slapped him again. "1M S3R1OUS, D4MN 1T! GOD, 3XCUS3 M3 FOR W4NT1NG TO M4K3 4 GOOD 1MPR3SS1ON!"

Dave raised up a finger, and interrupted, "to be honest, you guys didnt make the best impression when you yelled at us when we first talked. but its awesome that you guys are a lot more normal looking than i thought. hell, a couple of you are even kinda hot."

"i try my best," Eridan beamed.

"not you dude, calm your horses. slow them right the fuck down and throw them in reverse, because that ego has gotten out of fucking hand."

Eridan pouted and crossed his arms, while Karkat and Terezi continued arguing. "SEE, YOU'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO SEDUCE THE DUMBASS WITH YOUR WILY CHARMS!"

"NOBODY 1S S3DUC1NG 4NYON3, D1NGUS! YOU JUST ST4RT3D SCR34M1NG FOR NO R34SON."

"I *ASSURE* YOU, IT IS OF THE *UTMOST* *FUCKING* *IMPORTANCE* TO THE HUMAN RACE THAT I SCREAM!"

"WH4T TH3 FUCK DO3S TH4T M34N?"

While the two kept arguing, Rose turned to Aradia and asked, "So, if I may, what exactly do we do now?"

"0h!" Aradia gasped, "i alm0st f0rg0t in all this excitement. y0u guys are g0ing t0 travel t0 the new session."

"Yes, I understand that part. But how?"

"S0llux and i will pr0pel y0u thr0ugh space all the way t0 the new sessi0n, using 0ur sweet tr0ll telekinetic skills. skills with a z, 0f c0urse!"

"yeah, thats all great hot troll girl, but what about you guys. are you just going to fight jack using your sweet mind powers?" Dave asked.

"nah, s0llux and i will make 0ur way thr0ugh the dream bubbles, having the wackiest adventures p0ssible! try and meet up with a few 0ld friends as well."

"oh, thats cool."

The group turned back to the arguing couple, whom had both started yelling at each other by that point. "THEY DON'T REPRODUCE LIKE US, SO THEY NEED TO DO IT WITH EACH OTHER!"

"TH3Y'R3 TH1RT33N! W3'R3 TH1RT33N! 1F 1 W4NT3D TO D4T3 ON3 OF TH3M, WH1CH 1 M1GHT DO JUST TO SP1T3 YOU, W3 H4V3 4 LONG T1M3 B3FOR3 W3 3V3N N33D TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH4T!"

"AHA!" Karkat pointed a finger at her, "SO YOU DO WANT TO DATE DAVE!" Terezi slapped him once again. "FOR FUCK'S SAKE WOULD YOU STOP SLAPPING ME?"

"WH3N YOU ST4RT B31NG R4T1ON4L 4ND C4LM 1 W1LL, BUT TH4T DO3SN'T S33M L1K3LY R1GHT NOW!"

"Oh, Would You Two Cease The Screaming?" Kanaya interrupted, coming up the stairs. "I Can Hear You From Down The Stairs. What Is Even Going On?"

"YOU!" Karkat called. "NO QUADRANTS WITH THE HUMANS, AND THAT'S AN ORDER! ESPECIALLY THE WITCH!"

"I'm a Seer, why can no-one get that?" Rose said under her breath, rubbing her eyes with her fingers.

"Oh Can You Not Embarrass Us Karkat? I Would Appreciate Not Having Another Headache Right Now."

"guessin you couldnt find the clowwn?" Eridan asked.

"No, He Seems To Have Evaded Our Grasp." She pulled a Purple cape from her sylladex and threw it at Eridan. "I Did Find That, Though."

Eridan barely caught it, clumping it up in his hand. "oh. wwell thanks. dont think i can really wwear this though…" Kanaya looked at him, unimpressed. "uh, but thanks."

"WELL, GLAD WE'RE ALL HERE SO WE CAN FINALLY STOP TALKING ABOUT MAKING OUT WITH HUMANS AND GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!" Karkat told the group.

"YOU W3R3 TH3 ONLY ON3 CL41M1NG TH4T!"

"JESUS TEREZI, COOL IT FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS WITH THE MAKE-OUT TALK, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US."

Terezi muffled an aggravated scream behind her scrunched up face, but luckily Rose intervened, "Oh, we won't be leaving yet. We still need to wait for one more guest."

"WHO THE FUCK WOULD WE BE WAITING FOR? JOHN SAID IN THAT *DISGUSTING* LETTER THAT THEY COULDN'T COME SEE US."

"Oh, neither of them. No, our new guest should arrive in three, two-" Rose pointed beside the group, where a green flash of light had left the body of a bloodied Dersite citizen lying on the ground. "Just on time," Rose added cheerily.

"wwho the hell is that? wwitch, wwhat are you playin at?" Eridan crossed his arms accusingly.

"What is it you have against me Eridan? I have been nothing but polite to you."

"nothin, i'm just still mad that you didnt showw me your wways of Science."

"From what I heard, it was probably for the best."

Eridan huffed at her, though blushed as well, and Aradia clapped her hands. "all right then! were g00d t0 g0! any questi0ns bef0re we send y0u thr0ugh the c0sm0s?"

"JUST ONE, HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE? A DAY? A WEEK?"

Aradia counted her fingers, "0h, well lets see: 0ne, tw0, uh, three!"

The group looked around at each other, expecting an answer, before Karkat finally spoke up, "THREE WHAT?"

"three years!"

"WHAT! THREE FUCKING YEARS? GOD, I MIGHT MAKE IT TO THE NEW SESSION FASTER BY THROWING MYSELF OFF THIS METEOR."

"d0nt be silly karkat, 0f c0urse y0u w0uldnt!"

Karkat slid his hands through his hair, before sighing, "FINE, WHATEVER. THREE YEARS. THIS'LL BE A BLAST. AND BY BLAST, I MEAN THE BLAST THAT OCCURS WHEN I BLOW MY GOD DAMN BRAINS OUT." Karkat stomped away, down the stairs and out of sight.

Rose turned to the Maid, placing her hands on her hips. "Well, for what it's worth, it was a pleasure to meet you… Aradia and Sollux, was it? And I look forward to learning more about troll culture from our former tormentors." She nodded at Kanaya as she said the last sentence, and Kanaya smiled and nodded back.

Eridan frowned as Aradia flew up with Sollux, grasped the meteor with their powers, and threw it in the direction of the new session. This was going to be a long three years.

 **Prince of Heart- Done. I'm gonna have a lot of fun in the meteor. And when they meet the ancestors, I got some** _ **big**_ **plans for one character in particular. *Rubs hands together***


	8. The Prince of Life

**Prince of Heart- God I love writing dialogue for Dave.**

"wwhy not?" Eridan complained, kneeling down over a drawing he had made with a purple chalk on the floor of the computer room in the meteor.

"TH1S 1S 4 D3MOCR4CY, NOT 4 D1CT4TORSH1P!" Terezi argued, "W3 4LR34DY H4V3 4 POL1C3 FORC3!"

Eridan looked up and slumped his shoulders. "wwhat if an invvadin force comes to destroy our towwn!?"

Terezi stacked another can on top of a small stack of other cans she had made to resemble a hospital. "UNL3SS SOM3ON3 3LS3 M4K3S ON3, TH3RES NOTH1NG TO WORRY ABOUT, D1NGUS!"

Dave looked over at the two, pointing the cherry red chalk at Terezi. "fish-dude has a point. gotta protect those children T, they ain't able to shoot a gun with their little baby hands. or weird caterpillar legs. Still dont know what the fuck is up with your creepy troll babies, but you gotta have someone to protect the little bastards."

"W3LL 1T DO3SN'T M4TT3R WH4T 4NY OF US TH1NK, 1T'S TH3 M4YOR TH4T H4S F1N4L D3S1S1ON." Terezi turned to the mayor beside her, whom was working on a road connecting the residential district of Can Town to the industrial section. "WH4T DO YOU TH1NK M4YOR?"

The mayor looked up from his activity, placing the white chalk in his hand on the ground. He thought for a second, rubbing his hand on his black carapace face, before looking back at the group and giving them a thumbs up.

"well, cant disagree with what the mayor says T," Dave said, shrugging at Terezi. "do what you want fish-dude."

"evvery good govvernment has an intimidatin military presence, ter. really makes negotiatin with enemy forces havve that extra powwoww!"

Terezi huffed at them and went back to stacking cans to make buildings. Dave and the mayor went back to drawing the roads, while Eridan continued building up the model town's military force. Can Town had been a project the four of them had been eagerly creating ever since the Mayor had been revived by a dead god tiered Feferi. The experience had weirded Eridan out, as Eridan had met an alternate dead God Tiered version of himself, complete with an absolutely ridiculous outfit. Eventually the two hit it off, talking about how stupid the Prince outfit was, and he was whisked away all too soon. He certainly loved talking to himself. Of course it was just a little awkward meeting Feferi again, but apparently she had no memory of the situation because "she wasn't from his timeline."

Since the mayor had been resurrected, he had gotten straight to work in creating a model town using the group's food reserves. Dave and Terezi had nearly instantaneously begun helping him, Terezi lending her coloured chalks to make roads and such. Those two had been doing everything together ever since the meteor had started its journey, and when Eridan asked Dave why, he told Eridan that he "guessed they were a thing, but you can never tell with tz's psychotic brand of trademarked humour." End quote. Eridan almost felt as if he were intruding, but he never really did understand personal space.

Eventually, Eridan joined in with the two out of boredom and loneliness, since Terezi and Dave were the only two that still tolerated him on the meteor _and_ weren't a lying wwitch. His main objective was to build up the towns military force using screws that he got from destroying the groups computers. Not that they needed them anymore. He'd built an already formidable force, one that could rival any other pathetic excuse for a can town.

Eridan swept his cape away, using his purple chalk to trace an outline of the border to the base, as Terezi scolded Dave behind him. "H3Y, TH1S W4S MY T3RR1TORY! G3T 4W4Y!"

Dave pushed her gently, "make me."

Terezi smiled deviously as she wrestled with Dave to grab his chalk away from him, though Dave gave a good fight. Terezi managed to push him down holding his arms out and dishevelling his glasses. She sat herself on his stomach, with one arm on his neck and the other wresting the chalk from his hand. Once she'd done that, she deciding to test her luck by snatching his glasses as well. Dave attempted to struggle, but Terezi had him completely pinned and unable to move.

"get off of me!" Dave chuckled.

Terezi looked him directly in his candy red eyes, and said with a smirk, "M4K3. M3."

Dave gave a mock gasp. "thats it, youve done it. prepare to be punched in the mouth, with MY mouth."

Eridan groaned as Terezi leaned into Dave, raised her hand up, and shoved Dave's glasses into his mouth. Dave spat out the glasses, and glared at Terezi.

"not cool, what does a guy have to do to get some smooches from a cute troll girl?" Dave groaned as Terezi got off him and sat next to him. Terezi poked her tongue out at him, and went back to building up the town.

Dave put his glasses back on, and looked over to Eridan. "yo fish-dude, any advice?"

"advvice on wwhat?" he answered.

"on getting troll babes. you ever date a girl like tz?"

Eridan thought for a second. "hmm… yes and no. i havve dated someone nearly as insane as ter, but it wwasnt a matespritship."

"1'M NOT 1NS4N3!" Terezi interrupted.

"quiet please." Eridan retorted. "i dont knoww wwhether you knoww of her, but i dated this girl before our session started named vvriska."

"oh yeah, that was the girl john had the hots for right?"

"i dont knoww. i think he did. but it wwas a more… caliginous relationship."

"oh so she was your kis-meister or whatever. didnt tz have something like that with her."

Terezi groaned, "BLUH, 1T W4SN'T L1K3 TH4T D4V3! HOW M4NY T1M3S H4V3 1 TOLD YOU TH4T?"

Dave shrugged, "how about you guys stop loving people four different ways. my backwards ass human brain cant handle that many options." He turned back to Eridan. "what were you saying?"

"wwe dated for a feww months, most of our dates invvolvved killin people on the high seas and takin their gear as our role-playing characters. unmerciful slaughterin certainly makes caliginous relationships get hot and heavvy. wwe made out three, maybe evven four times."

"oh snap, youre a regular ben stiller with all those girls hanging off you. youre a tree, and the girls are your faithful monkeys swinging on those branches like theres no god damn tomorrow."

"wwhat the fuck are you talkin about? whats a 'ben stiller?'"

"only the best worst actor to ever grace earth. so what the fuck happened between you and vriska that she went running into good old johns arms?"

"it wwas a long time ago. the obnoxiously cheerful blue texted human wwasnt the first one to grab her affection. but i dont actually knoww wwhat i did." Eridan sighed. "one day i contacted her wwith an offer of good ol murder, but she responded less… spiteful than usual. she just broke up with me, then and there. i tried talkin to her, but she just blocked me. she abandoned me. they all abandoned me. none of them cared, not really. fef left me as soon as wwe entered the game, for that loww blooded douche no less. i gavve her my all, i gave both of them my all, and they left me wwhen i needed them most! is it so bad of me to ask for someone to actually fuckin tolerate me?!" Eridan growled as he felt tears sting his eyes. "maybe thats wwhy i tried to kill all those land dwwellers vvriska, because the last time i trusted a land dwweller she broke my fuckin heart! if it wwasnt for kar, maybe i wwouldvve done it a long time ago! and hell, maybe youd still be alivve fef if you hadnt used me as a wway to feed your stupid pet and actually gavve a shit as my moirail!"

He found himself gently sobbing as he paused from his rant, his heavy breathing causing his chest to slowly move in and out. He jerked his head over to the others in the room, realising that he was crying in front of them. The mayor was continuing his drawing, while Terezi and Dave had stopped dead and were awkwardly listening to him.

The three stared at each other, before Terezi spoke up, "4R3 YOU… OK4Y?" Terezi crawled closer to him. "1 KN3W VR1SK4 B3TT3R TH4N 4NYON3. W3 C4N T4LK 4BOUT 1T, YOU KNOW."

Eridan lifted up his glasses and wiped the tears from his eyes. "i dont need to talk about anythin." Eridan jumped up, carefully navigated the military base of can town by holding his cape up, and stood on a transportalizer that sat in the corner of the room. He didn't even give them a wave as he teleported out of the room.


	9. Eridan: Abscond

**Prince of Heart- I know their canon age is thirteen (or six for the trolls) but I personally view them as eighteen/nineteen, because at that age there was no way I could've written the way even someone like Dave types. I mean, it makes a lot more sense for me at least, especially since I've given them basically older teenager heights.**

 **For the record, my fanon heights for the characters are: Nepeta- 5'4, Tavros- 5'5, Eridan, Aradia, Feferi and Sollux- 5'6, Karkat, Terezi, and Rose- 5'7, John and Vriska- 5'8, Kanaya, Jade and Dave- 5'9, Equius- 5'11, and Gamzee at 6'2. God I love imagining Eridan as this tiny and angry dude. My smol Prince.**

Eridan appeared moments later on another appearafier, still softly sobbing from his conversation with Terezi and Dave. He found himself in a sort of library, multiple bookcases scattered all around him with a variety of troll literature, ranging from history to romance novels. At one of the tables beside him sat a couple of figures, who had both stopped what they were doing and turned to face Eridan. It was Rose and Kanaya, both turned away from a large set of books that lay on the table. Kanaya, her skin still burning a bright white, turned back once she realised it was Eridan to continue what she was doing, while Rose still looked questioningly at him. Eridan panicked, and in trying to hide his tears, pulled up the side of his cape to cover half of his face. He quickly paced away and to a sink by the coffee maker, and let down his cape. He turned on the tap, cupped his hands to get a handful of water, and splashed it on his face.

He took a few deep breaths and managed to cease his manic breathing, as he heard Rose call from behind him, "Eridan, are you okay?"

Eridan took one final breath, sucking in the air through his nostrils, and lent onto the sink. "im fine, wwitch. i just banged my toe onto a table, and you knoww howw much that hurts."

He heard the appearafier activate again, and Dave's voice spoke up straight afterwards, "yo fish-dude, whats up? whyd you run away like you spotted a middle aged dad with a fishing rod?"

"What happened?" Rose asked him, her attention now in his direction.

"i dont know. one minute were talking about kissing troll babes, the next moment hes crying over the fact that johns dead troll girlfriend dumped him years ago." Dave jogged over to Eridan, and placed his hand on his shoulder. "if it was a sensitive subject, you shouldve said something and we wouldve stopped."

Eridan gulped, "could wwe just stop talkin about it? i am god damn royalty, i shouldnt be actin like this."

"Just Leave Him Alone," Kanaya told them, not looking up from her book. "He Does Not Want To Talk About It, Then Why Bother With Him?"

"damn vampire-lady, dont be too nice to him now. might give him an aneurism with how bright your personality is."

Rose looked at Dave, Kanaya's bright light reflecting neatly off her pale skin and an amused look on her face. "Dave, could you please refer to our friends by their names? I don't think Eridan nor Kanaya like being called 'Fish-Dude' or 'Vampire-Lady.'"

"ill call them whatever the hell i want, because there is no way in hell im calling someone kanaya or eridan."

"But you're willing to call Terezi by her name?"

"well thats different, shes my kinda girlfriend. gotta respect my kinda girlfriend, rose. or should i say, cthulhu-chick?"

"Don't call me that."

"nope too late, youre now officially known as cthulhu-chick. embrace that shit."

Rose sighed and rubbed her eyes, a gleeful smile on her face. She glazed her purple pupils back to Eridan. "So there's nothing you want to talk about? Well, consider the question dropped."

"wwhat are you doin anywway?" Eridan asked. "wwitch magics i presume?"

"No, not witch magics, Eridan. Just researching some stuff about the session we're about to enter."

Dave turned away, waving Rose off. "well i wont get in the way. got myself a town to build. you coming fish-dude?"

"no, im done for today. ill just pick it up tomorrow. oh, but could you ask ter if wwere still on for tomorroww?"

Dave instantly turned on his heels, his cape flowing with him in one move. "wait what. what are you doing tomorrow?"

"wwhat wwevve been doin for the past year on this damn meteor; wworkout session and a quick play of the session of dungeons and dragons wwe got goin on."

Dave crossed his arms. "why is this the first im hearing of this?"

"Why do you care Dave?" Rose questioned intently, a sly smile on her face before she gave him an exaggerated wink.

"dont you wink at me god damn it. if youre implying im jealous you can throw those thoughts in the trash can cause theyre fucking garbage." Rose shook her head and rolled her eyes, then turned her head and winked at Eridan. "dont wink at him either, youre giving the poor dude mixed signals."

"i am quite confused at your intentions, wwitch. i thought you wwere already a thing wwith kan."

"A Thing?" Kanaya perked her head up to face Rose. "Are You Saying We Are A Thing To Others In Our Group?"

Rose replied with another wink, much more exaggerated than the last.

"stop winking at peeps. she hasnt said nothing about you two. shes just being weird. anyway, to answer your previous question, its because i want to get in on that shit. give me a chance to show off how a human does it. how the hell am i even supposed to work out with this fucking sweet cape on?"

"You could just change clothes. Maybe Kanaya can sew something up for you?" Rose suggested. Kanaya smiled and nodded in response.

"wait what we can actually change out of these clothes? ive been wearing them straight for like, a year." He directed his attention back to Eridan. "i didnt know you worked out?"

Eridan beamed a prideful smile. "dont get an imposin figure like mine wwithout a little swweat."

Dave looked down at him from his superior height for a second with a blank stare, before bursting into laughter. He nearly fell over, but reached out and grabbed Eridan's shoulder to steady himself on. Once he'd steadied himself, he looked back up at Eridan's unimpressed face as he winded down from his outburst, but he quickly burst back into teary laughter once he'd remembered what Eridan just said.

"wwill you quiet dowwn, i am twwice the male you are!"

Dave continued his laughter, holding onto his stomach as he came to pain. Eventually, he turned around and away from Eridan, walking to the teleporter while still holding his stomach and laughing. As he stood on the appearafier, he gave one quick turnaround to Eridan, pointing at him and placing his other hand over his glasses as he teleported away.

Eridan glared at the appearafier for a few seconds, before turning back to Rose and Kanaya. "fuck, its like that guy wwants a kismesis wwith me."

"Really?" Kanaya replied, "Are You Going To Attempt To Kill Him Too?"

"Kanaya, we talked about the passive-aggressiveness towards Eridan. At least try and act like he isn't a terrible person."

Kanaya rolled her eyes. "Well I Do Not Want To Be Passive Towards Him, Nor Do I Want To Be Aggressive. So It Is Either The Passive Aggression Or He Finds A New Meteor."

"oh, come on kan! im a changed guy! wwhy cant you just forgivve me already?"

Kanaya sighed, "It Is Not That Simple, Eridan. I Do Not Understand How You Can Not Understand."

"maybe because youre just being selfish kan."

Kanaya shook her head dismissively. "And That Logic Is Why I Can Not Forgive You."

Eridan crossed his arms and kicked the ground below him as if he were a little kid. Rose looked between the two, before sighing and looking back to her book, while Kanaya did likewise. Eridan stood still for a few seconds, basking in the awkward silence between the three, but eventually grew bored and went over to the appearafier. As he attempted to teleport away, he felt the appearafier slowly activate, and he was suddenly pushed back as the appearafier made room for Karkat's entrance into the library.


	10. The Prince of Heart

**Prince of Heart- I'mma just address a review that I got:**

 **For the short answer regarding catachthonicCacaesthesia's review, yeah, I never really saw Eridan as a Quadrant heavy guy. Just a poor little fish Prince who wanted someone to give a shit about him. To make him give a shit about the world. I mean, don't we all really?**

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?" Karkat demanded to the surprised group in front of him.

Rose looked from Kanaya to Eridan, before answering, "Eridan's right here, Karkat. No need for alarm."

Karkat rolled his eyes, and said through gritted teeth, "NOT. HIM. NEVER HIM. I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO LOOK FOR A SHIT TO GIVE ABOUT HIM." Karkat gave an over-exaggerated smile. "OH HEY ERIDAN, FORGOT YOU WERE EVEN ALIVE ANYMORE. YOU HAVEN'T KILLED YOURSELF YET DROWNING IN YOUR OWN BULLSHIT HIPSTER PERSONALITY?"

Eridan pursed his lips. "dont be stupid, kar. you cant drowwn in a personality. they dont exist."

Karkat growled, "IT WAS A FUCKING *METAPHOR*. AND PERSONALITIES DO EXIST, BULGE-SAC. YOU JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A TERRIBLE ONE."

"i beg to differ."

Karkat gave a sarcastic chuckle, "OH REALLY. WELL HUMOR ME: HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU LEVEL UP WHEN YOU FUCKING MURDERED FEFERI AND DESTROYED ANY HOPE FOR REPOPULATING THE HUMAN RACE?"

Eridan shrugged. "a couple of ladders, i dont knoww. i do knoww i achievved the 'aspiration exterminator' rung or somethin like that."

"Eridan?" Rose prompted behind him. "I think he was asking a rhetorical question in order to make fun of the fact that you killed one of your friends."

"OH WAS I NOW? MAYBE I WAS BEING GENUINE, ROSE! YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE I WAS GENUINELY INTERESTED IN HOW THIS ASSHOLE BENEFITTED FROM KILLING AN INNOCENT GIRL! MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR CHUBBY ASS KNOWS EVERYTHING."

Rose looked at him calmly and unimpressed. "No need to snap at me Karkat. I did nothing to deserve your blind rage."

"There Was Also No Need For Insulting Her Based On Her Physical Appearance," Kanaya intervened, "She Can Not Help Her Weight."

Rose rubbed her eyes with embarrassment. "That doesn't really help Kanaya."

Kanaya's eyes widened for a moment, and she hastily placed her hand on Roses shoulder. "I Did Not Mean It That Way! I Think You Look Much More Beautiful Than If You Were Skinnier!"

"WELL SHIT, WHY DON'T YOU TWO START MAKING OUT ALREADY SINCE IT APPEARS YOU'RE ALREADY MATESPRITS."

"Why does everyone assume that?" Rose sighed. "Well, I guess if they insist."

"Insist What?" Kanaya asked.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Never mind."

"CHRIST KANAYA, YOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS ERIDAN WHEN IT COMES TO PICKING UP HINTS."

"wwhat do you mean 'almost as bad as eridan?' im not bad at pickin up hints."

"REALLY? BECAUSE YOU SURE SEEMED PRETTY BAD AT PICKING UP THE HINT THAT FEFERI DIDN'T WANT TO BE MURDERED!"

"oh come on kar, youre goin to havve to forget about that one day."

"HOW ABOUT, TO SPITE YOU, I JUST DON'T!" Karkat nodded enthusiastically, his insincere smile almost becoming unsettling to the other three. "I'M GOING TO GO WITH THAT." Karkat rubbed the back of his neck in frustration, and looked around him frantically. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I COME HERE FOR ANYWAY? ALL THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT BULLSHIT ON A GOG DAMN SANDWICH MADE ME FORGET WHAT I CAME IN HERE SPASMING ABOUT." Karkat pouted as he began to walk away, mumbling under his breath, "LET'S SEE, I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF ABOUT SOMETHING IN THE PAST. WAS IT SOMETHING ABOUT TEREZI?"

Rose looked at Kanaya, who gave her a short shrug of her dainty shoulders. "STUPID ROSE AND KANAYA WITH THEIR STUPID 'WILL THEY WON'T THEY' MATESPRITSHI- WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!" Karkat spun around on his heels, with an outstretched finger. "THAT'S RIGHT, I WAS LOOKING FOR STRIDER TO WORK OUT TERMS!"

"Uh, Terms?" Kanaya asked.

"TERMS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH TEREZI."

Kanaya sighed, "I Know I Might Regret Asking, But What Are You Going On About?"

"YOU KNOW HOW THAT IRONICALLY COOL DUMB-ASS HAS BEEN IN A MATESPRITSHIP WITH TEREZI? WELL ME AND HIM GOT SOME TERMS TO WORK OUT IN ORDER TO SAFELY SHARE HER."

Kanaya and Rose looked at him horrifically. "'Share Her?' Karkat, You Can Not Be Serious. I Thought That We Discussed This A Year Ago."

"YEAH, BUT HEAR ME OUT! I GOT A BOOK I NEED TO SHOW STRIDER TO HELP HIS PRIMITIVE HUMAN BRAIN MAKE SENSE OF IT. BASICALLY, TO CUT A LOT OUT, WE'RE GOING TO SHARE TEREZI WHERE WE'RE GOING TO SWITCH OUT FROM MATESPRITSHIPS TO KISMESISES EVERY DAY, AND WE'LL JUST ROTATE AROUND THAT. IT'S A FOOLPROOF PLAN, AND EVERYONE WINS!"

"Really?" Rose scolded, "because it sounds like you're the only one who benefits from this situation."

Karkat waved her off. "I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY NEGATIVE FEEDBACK, PLEASE SAVE IT FOR THE END OF THE PLAN THAT WILL MOST *DEFINITELY* WORK." He gestured toward Eridan. "YOU AGREE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION."

All eyes turned to Eridan, giving him a bout of anxiety in his next words. "wwell, i think that wwhat youre doin is… pretty fuckin ridiculous and i wwill not alloww it."

"WHAT? OH WELL FUCK, I GUESS BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU "cant alloww it' I GUESS I WON'T DO IT. YOU HEAR THAT GIRLS, PLANS OFF! YOU MAY LEAVE THE TRAIN WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT." Karkat closed the gap between him and Eridan, and pushed the inch smaller troll away. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

Eridan looked at him defiantly, straightening up his back in order to seem more imposing. "i wwill stop you."

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, MURDER ME BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING WHAT YOU WANT? OH. FUCKING. WAIT." Karkat turned around, flipping off Eridan as he did. "WHY DON'T YOU CRY SOME MORE ABOUT HOW NOBODY UNDERS-"

Karkat was interrupted when he felt a lot of weight suddenly pull him down at once, making him trip and fall on his face. The solid marble floor of the library did nothing to cushion his fall, and he cried out in pain as the two collided. He laid still for a second, feeling the weight that had pulled him down crawl up his back, eventually whipping him around onto his back and trapping his arms onto the floor.

Karkat looked up at the attacker, whose recognisable purple streak told who had pulled him to the ground. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"stoppin you from ruinin their relationship!" Eridan answered.

Karkat struggled under Eridan's surprisingly strong grip. "I'M NOT RUINING SHIT, YOU DOUCHE! I'M MAKING AN OPTION THAT MAKES ALL THREE PARTIES HAPPY!"

"but no ones going to be happy wwith you interruptin dave and ter wwhenevver they wwant to hang out!"

"BULLSHIT, THE WAY I SEE IT TEREZI GETS TWO HOT DUDES TO MAKE OUT WITH!"

Rose stifled a laugh behind the two. "Did you just imply you find Mr Strider hot?"

Karkat groaned, "FUCK YOU, I'M NOT IMPLYING SHIT."

"there is nothin there for you anymore! she movved on 'cos you wwere too much of a fuckin idiot to actually call her youre matesprit! theres no hope left for you with her! shes happy!"

Karkat growled, his eyes seething with anger, and he overpowered Eridan, pushing him away. Eridan fell backwards and landed on his behind, watching Karkat rush off through the appearifier, but not without giving Eridan one last flip of his middle finger. Eridan jumped to his feet, unclipping his cape from his neck and letting it fall to the ground behind him. He charged forward, and followed Karkat through the appearifier.

He appeared on the other side soon after, and instantly began looking around for the Knight of Blood, spotting him close by standing dead still. He narrowed his eyes, and slowly approached Karkat, attempting to get his attention by shaking his limp arms.

"DUD3, W3 DONT N33D 4 CLUB!" Terezi demanded, prompting Eridan's attention to the scene of her and Dave sitting on the floor. "W3 B4R3LY H4V3 HOOFB34ST DR4WN C4RR1AG3S, WHY WOULD W3 H4V3 4 CLUB?"

"i dont know," Dave shrugged, "maybe this towns got its priorities straight, you know. maybe they know that sick beats and rad fire flying from their mouths and an expensive dj booth in the middle of a large room full of sweaty dudes hitting on hot drunk chicks is priority number fucking one. Who needs running water, theyll just live off the sweat from their glistening bodies as they dry hump each other through tight clothes."

Terezi shook her head. "BLUH, DON'T B3 W31RD!" She playfully pushed Dave away.

"hell, what am i even talking about, you cant stop me from creating the most bomb ass club conceivable to both human and troll minds alike."

He attempted to use his red piece of chalk to draw an offshoot road, but Terezi grabbed his arm before he could. "NOT 1N MY TOWN."

Dave tried to wrest from her grasp, but the grip of her hands was much too strong for him. The two eventually went from gentle squirming to full form wrestling in a matter of seconds, carefully moving between the can buildings around them. Terezi managed to pull the chalk from his hand, holding it above her head and out of Dave's reach, using her other arm to pin him by the neck.

"gog damn it how do you always manage to do this?" Dave complained, prompting Terezi to poke her teal coloured tongue out at him. "oh thats it lil' missy, youre asking for it. hope youre ready to board the make out train, first stop daves mouth. population: terezi."

Terezi smiled at him mischievously, bearing her pointy teeth, but followed his lead in. With the chalk still behind her, she leaned in and let Dave have his way, letting their lips interlock in their first kiss. Both of their emotions were unable to be conveyed through their eyes, due to Dave's glasses and Terezi's plain red eyes. Dave reached up and ran his hand through Terezi's soft and straight black hair, resting it behind her neck. The two of them remained together for a few more seconds, before Terezi pulled away, a wide, toothy smile on her face. The two of them gave a chuckle, before Terezi threw the hand from behind her forward and shoved the piece of chalk into Dave's mouth.

Dave sputtered the chalk out of his mouth, "man, what the fuck is up with you and shoving things in my mouth?"

"YOUV3 GOT 4 V3RY POUTY MOUTH! 1TS FUN TO SHOV3 SH1T 1N THERE."

The two of them giggled, Terezi much more than Dave, and Karkat finally sighed from beside Eridan. "GOD, I'M SO STUPID. WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE?" Karkat looked beside him to Eridan. "ERIDAN, AS FUCKING HARD AS THIS IS FOR ME TO SAY, I'VE GOT TO THANK YOU. YOU'RE SPASTIC BULLSHIT ACTUALLY KIND OF MADE ME REALISE THAT I MISSED MY CHANCE. THERE REALLY IS NO HOPE LEFT FOR US LEFT, IS THERE?"

Eridan nodded solemnly, "i respect you more than any of these other land dwwellers, kar. thats wwhy i had to break it to you."

Karkat nodded, and sighed again, "YEAH, I GUESS. KEEP IT UP."

"keep wwhat up?"

"BEING DESTRUCTIVE IN A GOOD WAY. I LIKE IT A LOT BETTER THAN THE SHIT YOU DID ON THE METEOR."

"you kiddin?" Eridan scoffed. "im not destructive to anyone but my enemies."

Karkat nearly replied with another reminder of Feferi, but decided to hold his mouth as payment for what just happened, so he just shook his head instead.

After a second, the two heard the speaker chime up with a loud _binging_ sound, signifying an announcement, _"Attention Dear Passengers, And Eridan, We Appear To Be Entering A Dream Bubble Very Shortly. If You Would Like To Access It, We Would Recommend Going To Sleep Now. Have A Nice Day, Everyone But Eridan."_


	11. Eridan: Remember

**Prince of Heart- After the rant last chapter, (and a little bit of a personal revelation where I basically said I'm completely emotionally unstable) I'll keep this short and sweet: I will never accept any other fact other than Eridan being really fucking short.**

"No way!" Vriska told Eridan, turning around to face him. The two stood in the middle of a large ship, recently conquered by the caliginous couple after a short naval battle in the middle of the Alternian Ocean. The battle hadn't taken long for the two, though that was no surprise; after they had found their ancestors belongings just days before, they had been unstoppable in their FLARPing conquests, especially with Eridan's newfound rifle. It had quite easily pierced the vessels wooden hull, with the two throwing hooks onto the mast and railings to keep the ship from sinking and the inhabitants drowning in the harsh waters.

The two had quickly boarded, rounding up the three trolls on the ship- a boy, and two girls –and tying them together in the middle of the deck, then proceeding to steal all the gold and divvy it up between the two. Now the two stood above the prisoners, squabbling between themselves as the waves crashed against the ship and the cloudy skies threatened rain at any moment.

"wwhat do you mean 'no wway?'" Eridan argued. Along with the weapon, he had found his ancestors clothing, which he had immediately recreated and donned with haste. The outfit was fairly swanky: a sleeveless black shirt with his sign on it with an equally long-sleeved violet overcoat over it, a pair of striped black and violet pants, black boots, and heavily complemented by his purple, flared cape.

"I mean no. Fucking. Way!" Vriska reaffirmed. Like Eridan, she was equally as dressed up, also decked in a costume replica of her ancestors clothing. She wore a grey T-shirt with her sign, denim jeans with red boots, and a completely cerulean un-buttoned overcoat. She had managed to tear herself away from her normal FLARPing partner to raid the seas with her new-found Kismesis Eridan, which the pair had been doing for three days straight. "These are my prisoners, I need them for my lusus!"

Eridan scoffed, bearing his pointy teeth, "you alwways get them though!" Eridan stomped his foot onto the wooden deck, creating a soft thump. "wwhy cant i take just one?"

"8ecause you always take their lusi for your little Moirail!" Her frown turned to a condescending smile, and she laid a finger on Eridan's chest. "I know a8out the little red crush you got on her, it's painfully o8vious."

Eridan slapped her hand away. "wwho i havve red feelings for is none of your concern! dont change the subject, vvris. youvve got enough trolls to feed that dumb lusus for weeks!"

"Why would you even want them Eridan? What the hell would you do with them?"

"force them to wwalk the plank! havve a little fuckin fun!"

"That's it?" Vriska sounded almost hurt at the statement, though it was hard to tell if she actually was or was just over-dramatizing like she usually did. "I thought we were having fun."

Eridan wiped his face with one hand. "I didnt mean it like that, i swwear. im just tired of you alwways dictatin our advventures."

Vriska chuckled, playfully flicking her long, wavy, messy hair. "Well may8e you should try 8eing dominant instead of following everything a lowly 8lue 8lood says. You can't 8lame me for your secret su8missive side."

"you better wwipe that stupid grin off your face before I do it myself!"

"oh my GOD!" One of their prisoners complained; a sapphire blooded male of a scrawny body, and with a pirate hat covering his slicked back hair. "w!ll you two just throw us off th!s sh!p so ! don't have to l!sten to your !nfernal squabbl!ng."

"La-me-o-n!" The chubby mint blooded girl beside him pleaded, the eyepatch covering her one eye and wrapped around her half shaven head. "Do-nt a-nger the-m fu-rthe-r!"

"oh yeah, yureen, because be!ng n!ce to the deadly pirates !s gonna conv!nce them to LET US GO!"

"what's happenin?" The last ruby red blooded girl asked, her short stature and pigtailed hair not adorned by any pirate gear. "turn me ar()und, i wanna see!"

"Oh my god, how rude!" Vriska exclaimed, sauntering up to the trio with an exaggerated hip sway to frustrate Eridan. She grabbed a hold of the mint blooded girls chin, lifting her head up to face her. "As you can see, me and my douche of a 8oyfriend are having a little… de8ate as to what to do with you guys. If you could may8e, I don't know, shut the fuck up while we sort it out, that'd 8e juuuuuuuust swell!"

"wwell fuck vvris, maybe youd like to just let them go? just fuckin kill one of them to provve howw fearsome wwe are."

Vriska rolled her eyes, and cocked her head to face Eridan. "My lusus doesn't like them cold."

"i d()n't like y()u c()ld!" The ruby blood called out.

"fucking got her, muthur. keep !t up and they m!ght put me out of my misery."

"see, theyre talkin shit about us! make them wwalk the plank."

Vriska groaned, letting go of the girls chin and beginning to walk over to Eridan. "How a8out, you stop telling me what to do!"

Vriska stopped right in front of him, crossing her arms as she waited for an answer. "then dont call me fuckin submissivve."

"I'll call you whatever the hell I want, 'Dualscar'."

Eridan pushed the spider girl, harder than he intended to, and she stumbled back, but managed to keep herself from tripping over. She regained her stance, and pushed him back, even harder than he had her. Eridan grew angry, and replied with a jab into her ribs, which sparked the two into full-blown wrestling. Vriska grabbed onto Eridan after pulling his cape over his head, and used all her strength to throw him across the deck, eventually sliding to a stop when he hit the wall. He quickly, and unsuccessfully, tried to get up before Vriska could make it over to him, but Vriska's athletic figure made quick work of the distance between the two. Just as Eridan got to his knees, Vriska grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him up against the wall, using both arms to pin him by the neck.

She smirked at him, a very triumphant smirk that Eridan always hated, and poked her cerulean tongue out between her equally cerulean lips. Eridan made a low growling noise, and prepared to wrestle out of the two inch taller trolls grasp, but before he could, she leaned her head down and began to kiss him on the lips. Eridan, initially caught off-guard, felt the aggressiveness of the action, and returned it, and the two continually tried to out-kiss each other.

"A-wwww!" The mint blood sighed.

"what the fuck do you mean 'awwww?'" The sapphire exclaimed.

"we-ll, lo-o-k how a-do-ra-ble- the-y a-re-, wi-th the-i-r li-ttle- Ki-sme-ssi-tu-de-."

"yep, totally. glad we get to watch them make out before we d!e. d!nner and a show, ! guess. but the d!nner !s us getting murdered because SOMEONE wanted to go ra!d!ng for p!rate loot, MURTHUR!"

"h()w hard are they g()in at it? why can't i watch them make ()ut. especially the cute blue bl()()d."

"dont be gross, murthur."

"argh!" Eridan cried out, pushing Vriska away in a fit of anger. He placed his hand to his lips, and pulled it in front of him to reveal a stain of violet blood. "you bitch, you bit me!"

Vriska shrugged. "All's fair in love and war."

"wweird. i feel like youvve said that before?" Eridan shook his hand a couple of times to get the wet blood off.

"Really now?" Vriska asked, surprising undramatically.

"yeah, like a wweird case of de je vu." Eridan rubbed his forehead in frustration. "like… ivve done this before. we captured these pathetic land dwwellers, and then wwe started makin out, then you took them after I went to wwipe my lip of blood on my ship." Eridan narrowed his eyes, and pointed an arm at her. "you… you broke up wwith me. i remember now. you broke up wwith me. wwhat the hell is going on here?"

Vriska smiled sweetly, an unusual sight for her, and she chuckled slightly, "I was wondering when you would come to."

Eridan watched as, almost instantaneously, Vriska was switched out for a similar looking girl, her athletic and taller figure changed into a shorter and curvier one. Her long, messy hair had been exchanged for shoulder length, wavy hair, and her normally rounded glasses had been replaced by ones with pointed ends. Her clothes, formerly pirate like, now consisted of a cerulean blue dress that reached just below the girl's thighs, showing off her thick legs, with a black belt tightened around her waist. The outfit bottomed off with long white socks and black dress shoes, and the entire get up made the troll look quite attractive. But the freakiest thing about her, was her completely blank eyes, which didn't allow Eridan to gauge where she was looking, much like Terezi.

The girl perked up, her height now equalled to Eridan, and she crossed her arms behind her. "It's a pleasure to meet you finally, Eridan. My name is Aranea."


	12. Eridan: Follow

**Prince of Heart- Aranea is best girl, don't even _try_ to argue otherwise.  
**

 **Actually scratch that; both Serkets are best girls.**

 **Why am I so obsessed with the morally bad characters of Homestuck? Send help.**

Eridan looked in disbelief for a few seconds, examining the new Vriska looking girl and all her new features, before screaming and jumping back in fright. In the process, he managed to trip over the end of his cape and fall flat on his cape, wrapping himself in it in panic. Aranea gasped as she watched the Prince wriggle around to get himself out of his cape, worried that her entrance may have been too extravagant for him. Eridan managed to escape his capes' grasp, scurrying backwards on his elbows and feet, with a startled look on his face.

"wwhat the fuck?!" Eridan cried out, taking in deep breath. "wwhat science is this? wwhy are your eyes wwhite? wwheres vvris?"

Aranea smiled sweetly and attempted to reply, "Well if you'll jus-"

Eridan frantically turned his head to where the three tied up trolls had sat, seeing they had too disappeared. "wwhat happened to them? wwhere am i evven? im so confused as to wwhat is happenin!"

"ERIDAN!" Aranea interrupted him, causing Eridan to shut up and give her his attention. She sighed, content with his attention, and continued. "Now, as I said 8efore, I am Aranea, and I understand that you may be quite confused right now."

"thats a fuckin understatement," Eridan spat, sitting up.

"I've 8een watching you and your friends for a long time now. I've even managed to watch your entire timeline from the 8u88les. Oh, the stories your ancestors weaved! Piracy, re88elion, intrigue, so very interesting."

Eridan looked at her suspiciously. "howw wwould that evven be possible? wwhat are you?"

Aranea chuckled, "Oh, that's quite simple. I am a ghost."

Eridan stared at her blankly for a second, before growing angry and even more confused. "a ghost? wwhat the fuck does that mean? if you're a ghost, howw the hell can i see you and talk to you?"

"8ecause you're asleep!"

"i knoww im asleep, but wwhy can i see you?"

"As well as allowing you to relive memories, the Dream 8u88les now allow you to communicate with ghosts; 8oth from this universe and the previous. I guess it's the closest to magic we have!"

"but that's impossible considerin magic isnt fuckin real! it must be somethin that wwitch did wwith her wwhite sciences." Eridan jumped up, and crossed his arms in front of him.

"No Eridan, I'm afraid it wasn't Rose, but it was the Witch from your session. Feferi I 8elieve her name was? All the people from yours' and my session now are a8le to live 8eyond death as ghosts, reliving various memories."

Aranea spun around, and gestured for Eridan to follow her, which he reluctantly complied with, dusting himself off as he walked over to her. She led him over across the deck over to the cabin door originally leading to the captain's quarters, but opened it to reveal a long and winding vine leading to a giant black sphere. She was the first to step off into the new world, hopping down onto the vine with grace, while Eridan carefully sat on the edge and jumped down onto the vine behind her.

Eridan looked over the edge of the vine into the deep abyss, seemingly endless to the little Prince. He gave a nervous sigh, prepping himself for the trek across the narrow pathway, but he felt Aranea place a hand of his shoulder. He looked up to face her, seeing her caring smile and feeling her grip tighten, giving him a vote of confidence. She let go of him, and turned to walk down the road, Eridan following closely after.

"so," Eridan began, "wwhat wwas it you said about 'in this univverse and the prevvious?"

"Oh! Yes, you may have guessed that I am not from your universe, on account of us never interacting. Well, to make this simple, I am from a previous universe."

Eridan held out his arms to keep his balance over the chasm. "howw does that evven wwork?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Aranea said excitedly, as if she had been wanting to tell someone for a long time. "Well, for the sake of simplicity, say you have two kingdoms: Kingdom A and Kingdom 8."

"twwo kingdoms? that i owwn?" Eridan perked up. "im likin the sound of this story already."

Aranea chuckled, "I knew you would. So, in this scenario, Kingdom A is 8ecoming a complete failure: your people have revolted and are now at each other's throats, the world is 8arren, and you're una8le to control any aspect of the kingdom. Tell me Eridan, what would you do?"

"genocide," Eridan mentioned, but rethought his answer. "or just movve to kingdom b, i guess. if i havve to."

"Right, Eridan. 8ut the only way you're a8le to move to Kingdom 8 is 8y completely scrapping Kingdom A and remaking yourself, wiping your memory and creating a completely new personality for yourself. You will not remember anything from Kingdom A, and it's not even certain the new Kingdom will succeed. Would you take that risk, rather than remaining in the old doomed Kingdom?"

Eridan attempted to comprehend the question, eventually answering, "if it means i could havve a do-ovver? i guess i wwouldnt havve a choice, wwould i?"

"Right. Now think of those Kingdoms as universes. My universe was Kingdom A, yours' was Kingdom 8. Our universe fell upon hard times; a lot of stuff happened, people turned against each other, and we were forced to scratch our session, and it completely rebooted to create your universe. A second chance. It created 8oth us and new versions of us, though our actual post scratch selves manifested as your ancestors."

"uh, im not followwing."

"I guess what I'm saying is, I am both Vriska's ancestor Spinneret Mindfang, and Vriska herself, though her first incarnation from a previous universe."

Eridan raised his eyebrows. "youre vvris?"

"Technically, 8ut not quite."

"but that cant be true. youre wway nicer than vvris."

Aranea chuckled, "Thank you, Eridan. For what it's worth, you're much more pleasant to talk to than your pre-scratch counterpart."

The two approached the giant sphere, which seemed to make a light hum as they got nearer. "so if theres twwo versions of you in your univverse, wwould there happen to be a wworld conquerin vversion of me in your univverse?"

Aranea nodded. "Yes."

"holy fuck, you need to tell me about him sometime."

Aranea rubbed the back off her head. "It's kind of a long story full of intrigue and 8etrayal and a lot of murder."

"i dont care, i wwould lovve to hear about us. all the stories of evvery one of us. evven wwhat happened to your session."

Aranea looked surprised. "You… would? Well, it'd be my pleasure to tell them!"

Eridan smiled, something he rarely did. "you must havve been vvery popular in your group."

Aranea frowned. "You'd think, but people just find me 8oring most of the time."

"howw? youre pretty, interestin, nice, and you have a soothin vvoice."

Aranea laughed, "That's nice of you to say. That might 8e why my version of Peixes even bothered filling a quadrant with me."

The two looked at each other for a few moments, an awkward silence befalling Aranea as she nervously smiled at the oblivious Prince.

"I should go," she finally said, thumbing a different bubble far away.

"wwhen wwill i see you again?"

"Not too long, just need to grab one more guest and we'll meet again, 8ut we'll be too busy to talk then. How about, when you enter another dream 8u88le, you come and find me. I'd be glad to talk your ear off."

"id be glad to havve it talked off."

Aranea put a hand on his shoulder as an affectionate gesture, giving it a tight squeeze before letting go again. She then turned away, sprouting a pair of cerulean blue wings that curved in and out of themselves, and taking off of the platform. Her wings flapped behind her vigorously, leaving a trail of pixie dust behind her. Eridan sighed, looking into the bubble and placing his hands on the layer in front of him. He gave a hardy push, and fell into the bubble.


	13. Eridan: Enter

**Prince of Heart- OH MY GOD HOMESTUCK HAD AN EPILOGUE AND HOLY SHIT IT TURNS OUT ROSE AND KANAYA GOT FUCKING MARRIED HOLY SHIT I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW THEY WERE MY OTP. Also I think Callie x Roxy might be canon? BUT HOLY SHIT THO.**

Eridan hit the ground hard, though he could barely tell as the ground seemed to be covered in complete darkness. He tried landing on his hands and knees, but instead fell directly onto his face, nearly breaking his nose in the process. He laid face down in the ground for a few seconds, regaining his composure, before lifting himself up to look up to see where he was. He adjusted his glasses, and managed to focus his eyes in on the group of his friends in front of him; Dave and Rose conversing while watching a sleeping girl, who looked an awful lot like Rose in Derse clothing floating in mid-air, and Kanaya and Karkat listening to a story Terezi was telling. Off into the distance of the dark land was the silhouette of a city unknown to Eridan, filled with many skyscraper like buildings dotting the skyline.

Eridan groaned, a scowl creeping onto his face, and he pushed himself onto his feet. It would've been nice for the pretty ghost spider troll to warn him of the fall, seeing as he couldn't've known where he'd fall. He'd forgive her though, seeing as she seemed nice enough. It was hard for him to believe that he'd just met Vriska's ancestor as a teenage ghost from another universe, who he guessed was also technically Vriska herself? But also not really? Time shenanigans were fucking weird, yo.

Wiping the dust off his shoulders, he began to make his way over to one of the two separate groups, choosing to converse with the humans rather than two out of the three trolls that hated him. His shoes clacked against what seemed like a marble ground, signalling his approach to the two God-Tiers. The two slightly turned their heads to acknowledge him, continuing on their conversation.

"dude i dont care if she looks like you," Dave said, "there is no way thats my mom. like ive seen moms and that older looking you looks way too young and hot to be a mom. like moms are supposed to look depressed and fat and always post shitty memes onto their respective facebook pages commenting shit like 'lol good one Brenda hope the husband aint fucking that totally hot neighbour girl again.' and from what i see totally hot lalonde isnt doing any of those things."

Rose rolled her eyes, sighing, "Aside from the fact that I should be insulted you find her a 'hot version of me,' she isn't exactly our mom. She is our half mother and also half daughter from another universe, whom also happens to be the post-scratch version of me."

Dave crossed his arms. "okay im fucking confused now. does this make you my mom?"

"No Dave, I am not your mom."

Dave shook his head in disbelief. "thats exactly what my real mom would say."

Eridan looked up at the girl that the two were referring to, noticing that she actually did look a hell of a lot like Rose, with exceptions being her tanner skin, skinnier and taller figure, and the pink tips at the ends of her blonde hair. Aside from those, the similarities were uncanny.

"what do you think fish-dude?" Dave asked. "you reckon hot sleeping lady could be mine and cthulhu-chicks mom?"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, the scowl still on his face. "your wwhat? i dont understand your human slang."

Rose answered for Dave, "Our ancestor, so to speak."

Eridan examined the girl, looking her up and down and becoming startled when she made a loud snore. "i guess i can see the resemblance."

"shit dude give us a more vague answer. love it when people do that."

Rose attempted to pipe up, but was promptly interrupted when a solid gold trident landed next to her feet. The three of them stumbled back in shock, Rose emitting a loud gasp as she did. They regained their balance, seeing the other group of three staring past them and at the source of the double sided trident. The three of them collectively turned their heads to the source, revealing it to be a tall and lanky girl troll, the same subset of fish species that Eridan was, though her jewellery was more than enough to tell of her wealth. Contrary to her wealth was her choice of clothing, with a set of baggy jeans and an equally baggy T-shirt contrasting her obvious wealth. Like Aranea, she had completely blank eyes behind a pair of glasses, and lipstick corresponding to her blood colour of Fuchsia purple.

"what the shell are you chumps doin?!" She cried, a look of anger on her face. Her accent seemed eerily like Eridans, though a lot more ghetto at the same time, giving her a more of a cockney sounding voice than his upper-classed one. She placed a hand on her hip, and outstretched her other hand to point at the sleeping girl. "im trying to stab a sucka and youre gettin in the wave. 'specially similar lookin girl." She made a malicious smile. "in fact she looks more like a whale than floatin girl maybe I orca hunt her instead."

"Um Excuse Me," Kanaya interrupted, putting a hand on an unimpressed Rose's shoulder, "Do Not Speak That Way Of Her."

The girl chuckled, "well fuck guess i gotta since yo rainbow drinker ass is coral-ing me out. you look familiar though. like a girl i know." She shrugged the thought off. "stay outta my way."

The girl began to walk over to them to get her trident, but Eridan had already instinctively pulled out the trident of the ground and held it in his hands. The girl stopped dead in her tracks, placing both hands on her hips.

"what the fuck you think your doin fish chum?" she asked sternly.

Eridan pulled the trident in close to him. "this is mine noww."

"like FUCK it is. dont make me come over there and kick yo hipster ass."

"id like to see you try."

The girl clenched her fist, and bore her teeth in a frown. Eridan sighed, trying to subside his nervousness, and increased his grip on the weapon. As the girl sprinted at him, Dave and Kanaya stepped in the way and raised their respective weapons to ready themselves. As she neared, Dave was the first to swing his sword, narrowly missing her as she moved her leg to trip him, continuing her rampage towards him. Kanaya likewise stepped in the way, but didn't even get a chance to attack when Meenah jumped over her and continue running. A few feet from Eridan, he held out the trident in defence, but the attempt was futile as she grabbed it and dealt a hard punch across his face. Eridan fell sideways, nearly knocked out from a single punch, and landed on his right side.

He laid still for a few seconds, before lifting himself onto his back and looking up at the girl. "wwhat the hell howw did you do that."

She traced the outline of her trident, a content smile on her face. "shouldntve touched my shit sucka."

She was interrupted when Dave came up behind her and decked her across the back of her head with his fist. "take that!"

She stumbled forward as Dave took a swing at her, but she blocked it using her trident. He didn't cease attacking, pushing further down to test her grasp on the thing. Eridan heard a chainsaw revving in the background, revealing Kanaya ready to attack her as well, and followed close behind was Karkat, who finally joined the fight. As the two were about to attack, they were stopped by a screaming voice coming from close by the group.

"WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Arenea screamed, her hands held to her head in shock.


	14. Eridan: Exit

**Prince of Heart- I might've blown my load a little bit early last chapter. Apparently it wasn't an epilogue that was released? Like there's going to be more? Well I guess that just mean I'll be blowing a whole lot more loads in the future.**

* * *

The groups stopped in their tracks, including the new fish troll girl, and turned to face Aranea, whom looked on in pure horror. Her eyes twitched with confusion, darting back and forth between the various sparring warriors on the battlefield. Soon though, the fish troll girl sucker punched Dave in the nose, making him stumble back and turning the warriors' attention back to the fish. Karkat was the first to react, running quickly past Kanaya in front of him and clashing with the girl. His sickle made a loud clanking sound as it hit her trident, and the sound was an indicator to Dave to get back in the fray, hitting the other side of the girls trident as Karkat attempted to wrestle with her other side.

Behind Aranea, Eridan noticed while standing up, was another human boy, looking a lot like John. The boy had messy hair, almost as if it was messed from rough adventuring, with a pair of rectangular glasses hiding his dark green eyes. His tanned skin housed some surprisingly revealing clothing, including a pair of khaki short-shorts, a white shirt with a skull the same colour of his eyes, and a dark green jacket with sleeves reaching down to his elbows.

"Stop it, all of you!" Aranea ordered. "You couldn't even wait a few minutes while I retrieved one last guest? I have to come 8ack to THIS?"

By the time she finished, Kanaya had decided to tag in the fight, about to slice the new girl in half as she was distracted by Dave and Karkat. Kanaya jumped up into the air, raised the chainsaw above her head, and fell into her attack. The girl spotted the attack though, wresting her trident from the two knights and rolling backwards as the Sylph sliced down into her former position.

"1 4M SORRY 4R4N34," Terezi told her from the other side of the fight, her hands covering both her glassless eyes. "1 TR13D TO T3LL TH3M 4LL TO B3 COOL. NORM4LLY W3R3 SO MUCH COOL3R TH4N..." Terezi snorted, opening her eyes to watch the group fight. "WHY DO 1 4LW4YS TRY TO T3LL P3OPL3 W3R3 COOL? W3 4R3 SO V3RY UN COOL."

Aranea sighed, waving her arms to signal the group, "Every8ody? Excuse me, are you listening?! I would like to introduce you to someone." She gestured to the boy beside her. "His name is..." Her introduction was cut short by a loud scream as the fish girl roundhouse kicked Karkat in the gut. "HEY!" Her tone raised to a yell. "MEENAH! I SAID CUT IT THE FUCK OUT." The group stopped fighting, and the fish girl, who Eridan guessed was Meenah, turned to Aranea and pointed to herself. "Yes! you!" She pointed at Meenah as well. "The dead miscreant with the goggles waving around the stupid trident. Put it down!"

Meenah looked at her, insulted. "what no way."

"Yes way."

Meenah held her trident out in front of her. "no wanna poke these suckas up."

Aranea approached her, pointing to the ground. "Put it down. I'm serious."

Meenah went from insulted to whiny in a moment, complaining, "come on lemme puncture one of em. just a little." She lightly poked Karkat in the stomach. "how bout this shout ass nubby motherglubber who looks like whats his face"

Aranea crossed her arms. "I said drop it."

"what like on the floor?"

"Yes on the floor!" Meenah sighed, but compliantly dropped her trident in front of her. "Now step away from it." Meenah once again followed orders, taking a couple steps back. "That's right. 8ack. A little further." Meenah attempted to take a step forward, but was stopped in her tracks. "I said further! No, not closer! Further!" Meenah tried snatching the trident, but Aranea slapped her hand away. "Uuuuuuuugh. Guess what! You just lost your poking privileges." She picked up the trident. "I think I'll hang on to this for a little while. How do you like that?"

Meenah shrugged. "s'chool."

Aranea traced her fingers along one of the prongs. "Ooooooooh. It sure is pretty. Is that real gold? Or, pardon me, 'reel.' I 8et I could sell it for a small fortune."

She cheekily smiled at Meenah, and the fish girl groaned, "aw man no dont."

"Watch me!"

"yeah like a fuckin ghost could even sell anyfin." Meenah turned to the rest of the group. "any of you scrubs know where to find the prawn shop in this bitch?"

Terezi cocked her head to the side. "TH3 WH4T?"

She gestured to Aranea. "some ho is angling to sell ma gold pointy jam. look at her pawin up my royal loot with her clammy shitmitts. greedier spectacle i never did sea. water you blind there pyrope lookin dimwit?"

"Y3S."

"then listen up. she wants to hock my swank fuckin carats. got it?"

Terezi smirked. "W3LL MOST OF US H3R3 4R3 1N F4CT R4TH3R W34LTHY. 1 4M NOT SUR3 1F SH3 W1LL F1ND 4N 1NT3R3ST3D BUY3R THOUGH."

Meenah slid a hand down her face. "this sure became a retarded line of talkin."

Aranea sighed, "Ok then! Has everyone settled down? Do I have everyone's attention?"

"attention huh?" Meenah scoffed, "whoda thought you would want any of THAT?"

"Just stop. Please? I know it's only 8een minutes since you died, and you pro8a8ly aren't thrilled to see me for any num8er of reasons. 8ut for me it has 8een millenia! I have 8een waiting a long time to see you again, and orient you to the afterlife."

Meenah chuckled, "being a ghost isnt anyfin you need to be oriented to. were D-EAD who cares"

Aranea looked at Meenah with disappointment. "Excuse me for looking forward to our reunion then! I guess I 8uilt it up in my mind as something special for a whole lot of nothing!"

"yeah probubbly. what elses new though? need to swimmer down girl. you dead, time to act like the fucks you give stopped existin. like they... disaspeared."

She gave Aranea a wink, happy with her pun. "Then you don't care at all, is that it? My waiting here all this time to see you means nothing?"

Eridan felt someone tap his shoulder, finding Dave now grabbing his attention. "yo fish-dude why the hell are you looking so happy with that goofy ass smile on your face?"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, before realising he was ,in fact, smiling, and returning to his resting scowl. "i didnt realise. it wwas nothin."

Dave put a hand on his hip. "really? cause it sure as hell seems like you were smiling at the hot spider girl."

Eridan's breath stopped for a second, and he blushed a deep violet. "no i wwasnt."

"yeah you were. you cant see it, but my eyebrows are off the fucking charts, going up and down like theyre a fish-dude doing chin ups to impress a hot spider girl."

Eridan groaned, turning back to the scene playing back in front of them.

Aranea growled, "That's it. I'm selling off this gaudy trinket."

Meenah gasped, attempting to grab the trident unsuccessfully as Aranea kept her at arm's length, "no fuck you gimme that!"

"I have developed an eye for priceless treasure. Do you have any idea who I grew up to 8e in the new world we made? I'd wager if I put it on the 8lack market, it would fetch a fee to the tuna several 8illion 8oonies."

Meenah stopped in her tracks, and gasped excitedly, "TUNA! tuna tuna tuna tuna. i love you!"

"WOW," Karkat interrupted, "HEY. FUCKING *EXCUSE ME*."

Meenah looked over to him. "what?"

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT YOU?"

"K4RK4T S3TTL3 DOWN!" Terezi scolded. "1 TOLD YOU TH3Y 4R3 SOM3 OF OUR 4NC3STORS."

"THEY AREN'T OUR ANCESTORS. WE DON'T HAVE ANCESTORS. ANCESTRAL LEGACIES ARE A LOT OF SUPERSTITIOUS, ARISTOCRATIC BULLSHITTERY, INVENTED BY HIGHBLOODS SO THEY GET TO FEEL EVEN MORE SMUG AND SELF SATISFIED THAN THEY ALREADY ARE. EVEN IF WE DO HAVE THEM, WHO CARES? WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?"

"YOUR3 B31NG V3RY RUD3!"

"LISTEN. I DON'T KNOW THEM. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE TIME PASSING THROUGH DREAM BUBBLES IF I'M NOT GOING TO SEE MY DEAD FRIENDS. IF YOU DRAGGED ME ALL THE WAY UP HERE TO MEET, OH SAY, GHOST NEPETA. FUCKING GREAT! I'LL HANG OUT WITH DEAD NEPETA ALL DAY LONG. HELL, EVEN SOME RANDOM NEPETA FROM A DOOMED TIMELINE. THAT WOULD BE ALRIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? GIVE ME FIFTY FUCKING NEPETAS! WHY THE HELL NOT. WE'LL CALL OUR JOURNEY THROUGH BLACK ENDLESS DESPAIR "NEPETAQUEST". BUT THESE LOSERS? WHO CARES ABOUT THEM? I DON'T NEED TO BE MAKING ANY NEW FRIENDS. I HAVE ENOUGH "NEW FRIENDS" AS IT IS."

The sleeping girl let out a very loud snore.

"MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY, RANDOM HUMAN! I'M LEAVING."

Karkat turned to leave, and Terezi scrunched up her face at him. "BL4RGH YOU 4R3 SO T3RR1BL3!"

"that guy!" Meenah called out as Karkat walked away. "nubbyshouts! that guy is cool!"

"THANKS, WHOEVER THE FUCK!" Karkat yelled over his shoulder. "BYE."

"aw man hes so much cooler than whats his shit. why couldnt whats his shit be more like nubs mcshouty. our team had no cool buoys at all!"

Another loud snore from the sleeping girl.

"sleepy fishbait is right this is a fuckin drag! can i go hang out with shouty instead?"

"NO!" Both Aranea and Karkat told her in unison, causing Meenah to frown sadly.

"Psst!" Eridan heard the low sound of someone signalling his attention. He looked around the open space, attempting to locate the source. "You! Fish guy with the nice cape and hair!" He located the source, seeing the new John looking human calling him over. Eridan put a hand on his chest, mouthing 'me?' "Yes you! Come on over!" Eridan cautiously walked around the talking group, careful not to distract Aranea from telling what seemed to be a story of his group's ancestors. He was tempted to go and listen as well, but he felt too curious as to what the new human wanted.

He finally came and stood in front of the human, and asked, "wwhat is it?"

"Oh uh yeah. Damn. This is kind of a weird thing to ask." The human stumbled over his words, in a similar accent to Meenah and Eridan. "Like so… right. Get this right? So i have this brain ghost version of my best bro who i guess is also crushing on me? Like im still kind of confused as to his intentions. I mean i guess i wouldnt mind if we did end up going out."

Eridan's mouth gaped open as the boy kept going on about meaningless bullshit; a lot like John, he guessed. "wwhat the fuck are you talking about? did you call me ovver to tell me about wwhatevver bullshit quadrant you and a person i dont evven knoww are in? i dont givve a shit! get to the fuckin point."

The boy chuckled nervously, Eridan finally noticing that they were about the same height. "Righto boyo you got it. So my brain ghost friend and i were wondering why hes sort of flickering in and out of obscurity and we figured that it was kind of your fault. Not to make accusations of course! You cant really see him but hes standing next to me."

Eridan looked beside the boy, confused as to what he was talking about. He could see a boy there, one that looked similarly like Dave, though with hair more slicked back and a pair of pointy shades on his face. He wore simpler and tight fitting clothes; a pair of denim jeans, a t-shirt that clung to his torso with an orange cap on it, and a pair of white sneakers capping off his six foot two figure.

Eridan looked back at the boy and pointed at the alleged brain ghost. "you mean that guy?"

The two boys looked at each other, the shorter one with a shocked expression. "You can see him?!"

Eridan nodded. "wwhy the fuck wwouldnt i?"

Eridan heard Aranea shouting behind him, but was too engrossed in the conversation to pay attention. "Interesting." The taller boy pondered, rubbing his chin with his hand. "So you seem to be the only one able to see me. But how? Jake thought me up, I'm a representation of his real friend but how he views him. Which I got to give you mad credit for bro."

The two shared a fist bump. "Hell yeah bro!" the shorter one said. "Best bros for life! Unless we become boyfriends i guess."

"More like bro-yfriends. Damn, that's going in the old think pan for later when you tell the real Dirk." This taller boy spoke with a more monotone voice, with no sense of emotion coming through despite what he said. "Anyway, do you have any idea how you can see me? And still on that topic, why am I flickering in and out because of you?"

Eridan watched the boy for a few seconds, seeing him finally flicker in and out of his view. "i dont knoww. im a prince of hope if that helps anything?"

"A Prince of Hope? Interesting, is that a part of your troll culture?"

"no the game gavve it to me. they wwere fuckin right as wwell about the royalty part."

"Huh, this rabbit hole just gets deeper. This game seems to assign roles like any RPG would. I think I remember the troll girl from our session saying something similarly for me. A Prince of Heart I believe?"

"howw the fuck can you remember that if youre not evven real?"

"I don't know, magic I guess?" Eridan scoffed at that. "But I'm no royal, so it must be something different. But I've never seen any official texts telling of a Prince being anything other than royalty. I do seem to remember a video game Roxy once sent me a file for, something like King's Goal, or King's Objective, some bullshit I rushed through. There was a line in there though that struck me as odd, where they referred to destroying as 'the nature of a Prince.' Maybe Prince actually means destroyer?"

Eridan scoffed, "bullshit no wway. i dont destroy hope! i simply knoww wwhen there is none and i adjust my plans accordingly."

"Are you sure there was no situation where you destroyed someone else's Hope?"

Eridan was about to pipe up, but he then thought for a second. "i guess there might havve been a few times wwhere i kept people from doing suicidal things. like wwhen someone i kneww didnt agree wwith a flawwless plan i had. i ended up havving to kill her."

"Did you really have to?"

Eridan nodded once. "i believve so."

"Guys!" the shorter human interrupted, pointing to the new troll girl. "Im not sure but i think that might be the batterwitch!"

"So?" the taller one asked.

"Well im going to do something! I have to!"

"Please don't," the tall one pleaded unenthusiastically, but the shorter one was already in a sprint towards the troll fish.

"should wwe do somethin?" Eridan asked.

"No, leave him be. He's just a little bit of an over compensator in confidence. So why the hell do you even think you were in the right?"

"i dont knoww i just felt that i wwas."

"But to kill your friend over it? Was that necessary?"

"she tried to stop me after i killed that loww blooded scum of a boyfriend of hers."

"So it was self-defence? Why'd you kill her boyfriend?"

Eridan crossed his arms. "wwhats wwith all the fuckin questions? i dont ask you wwho you murder."

"I haven't murdered anyone."

"okay wwell howw about you go fuck yourself."

The taller boy sighed, and Eridan finally noticed Terezi sidestep up to them, slyly moving away from the scene over in the main group. She moved past Eridan, and up to the tall human, proceeding to take a deep sniff of him.

"Are you having fun there?" he asked.

"QU1T3 4 LOT 4CTU4LLY." She moved around him, catching a whiff of his other side.

"You're sniffing me."

"NO 1M NOT!"

"Do you have to stand so close?"

"WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT?" She took a baby step closer.

"That there. You just inched a little closer."

"NO! 1 4M TOT4LLY R3SP3CT1NG YOUR BOUND4R13S."

"Wait," he said, holding up his hands to his face. "Something's happening."

And in an instance, the tall boy let off a flash of light, and was turned into a real version of himself, albeit with a set of baggy Derse pyjamas.

"What just happened?" he asked cautiously.

Eridan was taken aback by the transformation, recoiling back in fear. "wwhat the fuck?! wwhat kind of science is this?"

Terezi took another quick sniff, causing him to knock her back gently with his elbow. "Holy shit you need to step off troll girl."

"NO TH1S 1S F1N3. 3V3RYTH1NGS F1N3!"

"Does this mean you guys can see me now?"

Eridan was too shocked to reply, but Terezi answered casually, "1 C4NT." She then pointed at the rest of the group, who had all turned to stare at him with various expressions of surprise on their faces. "BUT TH3Y C4N."

He sighed, pushing Terezi away. "Alright, uh, hi everyone. So here's the thing. I have to go. Like, right now." He began to make his way over to the sleeping young woman, the groups' eyes following him. "All of my friends are either dead, or lying on the ground unconscious, including me. So I have to try to wake up and fix everything. Sorry I can't hang around your bubble and shoot the breeze for a while. It's not like I don't want to." He took a step into the air and floated towards the girl. "I guess I have to be this huge fucking wet blanket as usual because there's stuff that needs doin'." He grasped the girl by one arm. "Also I'm just gonna steal her if you don't mind. Tell the aquatic punk girl my idiot bro is sorry for beating the shit out of her. Ha ha, who am I kidding? She stone cold does not give a fuck." He waved to them as he flew off into the sky. "See you later."

And like that, he was gone, and silence befell the group. The only one to truly react was Dave, who made an extremely confused face. Eridan shook his head, and proceeded to walk over to the rest of the group, scratching his head. He held out his hand to Aranea, gesturing for the trident, which she gave up to him. And with a single swing, he bonked himself on the head with it to wake himself up from whatever dream he just had.

 **Prince of Heart- Fuck this was a long one. Do you guys mind these sort of chapters? I try to keep them under 2000 words, but there was just too much shit I had to cover. Half of it is just dialogue ripped straight from the comic. I guess these things were bound to happen: can't change everything, can we?**


	15. Intermission 1: psyche bitch

**Prince of Heart- Yes, of course, an intermission with no relation to the main plot. Perfect. This and next chapter will be intermissions, with a certain black quadrant being filled in next one. Motherfucking honk.**

Huffing as he finally stopped at the designated landmark-a large test tube which had once held some sort of lusus-Eridan kept himself softly jogging on the spot in the wide, packed in room full of similar test tubes. He and Terezi had set up a few landmarks shortly after the meteor was launched into the seemingly never ending abyss of space to use as simple references for the two in their all-too routine work out sessions. The two had tried, successfully they might add, to keep a steady routine to keep themselves healthy and fit. Unlike Karkat or Kanaya, whom seemed to never gain weight no matter what they ate, or Rose and Dave, whom had God Tier powers to help them stay active, Eridan and Terezi didn't have such a luxury, having to work out as to not end up lazy and portly for the final confrontation with whatever the hell awaited them in the new session.

He took a deep breath, stopping his jogging, and ran a hand through his sweat-moistened hair. While not a big fan of stripping of his layers, he found it only necessary to take off his cape, scarf, and sweater, whilst keeping his normal striped pants, a pair of shoes Dave gave him, and a white t-shirt with his sign on it. He placed one of his hands on the test tube, careful not to touch the dried up green goo that originally filled it, and watched as the other two of his companions jogged into the room as well.

Terezi was the first to enter, a little sweaty just as Eridan was. Unlike Eridan though, she had a specific outfit she liked to wear while the two exercised: a pair of grey and baggy tracksuit pants, a white crop top showing her toned arms and with her sign just above her breasts, and a pair of white joggers. Following close behind was an extremely tired Dave, much more so than the two trolls. He was completely drenched in sweat, his clothes, poorly suited for exercising and consisting of his signature red and white tee with a record on it, a pair of jeans, and some red and white sneakers. Along with his Ben Stiller approved pair of shades, of course.

They both stopped behind him, Dave falling to his hands and knees whilst heavily heaving and coughing, "what *huff* the fuck *huff*." He swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and looked up at Terezi as she began stretching out her legs on the tube. Eridan was genuinely surprised at how flexible the girl was, watching her leg crawl up the tube and stop just above her head.

"WH4T 1S 1T D4V3?" Terezi gloated. "TH1S TOO MUCH FOR 4 SQU1SHY HUM4N SUCH 4S YOURS3LF?"

"who the *huff* hell you calling *huff* squishy? ill show you *huff* squishy when i *huff* slap your butt young *huff* lady."

Terezi stuck out her teal tongue at him. "TRY 4ND 1LL HURT YOU."

"well shit its like you *huff* want to start a kistmeanie with *huff* me. thats it. matespring recinded. were now in full blown *huff* hate love."

"OK4Y NOW YOUR3 JUST S4Y1NG TH3 QU4DR4NTS WRONG ON PURPOS3 TO M4K3 M3 4NGRY. BUT 1 WONT G1V3 1N TO YOUR 4GGR4V4T1NG. B3C4US3 1 4M TH3 B3TT3R P3RSON."

Dave straightened up, finally gaining his composure again. "bullshit youre just as bad as me if not worse. like fuck remember when you murdered john? or more like dont remember because it was another timelines version of you. you didnt have a god damn second thought sending that idiot straight up into deaths arms to be cradled like the innocent baby he is where he was rocked to death by his asshole denizen daddy,"

"WH4T TH3 H3LL 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT?"

"time stuff. you wouldnt get it. god i need to talk to that other slightly less hot troll girl more often." Dave unsteadily walked over to the tube Terezi had her leg on, and leaned on it beside her. "so we ready to call it a day and go make out somewhere or what?"

"fuck no," Eridan called out from behind them. "wwe got another lap to run around the meteor."

"another fucking lap. youre kidding me. tell you what tz ill do it if you motivate me with the most passionate kiss youve ever done in your life."

Terezi let her leg fall to the ground, and crossed her arms. "NO W4Y! WH3N 1 TR13D TH4T TH1S MORN1NG YOU 4CT1V4T3D THOS3 W31RD WH33L SHO3S 4ND ROD3 4ROUND M3!"

Dave rolled his eyes. "oh come on babe it wont happen this time. promise."

Terezi narrowed her eyes at him, examining his blank face, before sighing, "4LR1GHT TH3N. BUT 1F YOU PULL OUT THOS3 WH33LS W3R3 BR34K1NG UP."

Dave outstretched his arms and gestured Terezi to come and embrace him, which the girl attempted to comply. She stepped forward reluctantly, nearly about to wrap her arms around his neck, before he clicked his heels together to reveal a pair of wheels inside his shoes.

He then proceeded to roll in a couple of circles around her on his Heelys, saying, "psyche bitch the swag never stops."

Terezi scrunched up her face at the boys antics, watching him then go to circle around Eridan, and walked over to the Prince. "TH4TS 1T R3L4T1ONSH1P OV3R," she wrapped one arm around Eridan. "3R1D4N 1S MY N3W BOYFR13ND."

"uh yeah i wwouldnt be so hasty." Eridan clicked his shoes just as Dave did, revealing his own pair of Heelys, and slowly began to roll forward, stretching out his arms to balance himself. "man humans wwere wworthless as a wwarring species but they made some pretty neat fashion accessories."

Terezi turned her head from the boys in disappointment. "GOD 1 H4T3 BOTH OF YOU. 1LL B3 1N MY ROOM."

Terezi, while still maintaining her disappointed look, clicked her heels to reveal a layer of hypocrisy never imagined. The wheels extended, and she instantly rolled forward, still maintaining her same pose. Dave stopped beside Eridan, his mouth slightly curved into a smile as she disappeared behind a wall.

"god damn i love that girl," he said, sighing happily. "im going to marry her one day."

"i dont givve a shit wwhat you do in your spare time," Eridan replied.

"well i better follow her. make sure she doesnt get in any blind person shenanigans licking up other people and shit. you coming?"

"sure wwhy the fuck not?"


	16. Intermission 2: the swag never stops

**Prince of Heart- If you haven't noticed, I've been polishing up the dialogue a bit. And by that, I mean making it ten times shittier for certain characters, removing commas and shit to make it more loyal to the comic. A deliberate artistic choice, really.**

Eridan followed the bookcases into the meteors library, using them to steady him as he rolled around the place on his shoes. Dave and Terezi had run off to where-ever the fuck just a few hours ago, after the trio had finished their final lap in their workout session, and left Eridan alone to get some more practice with his Heelys. And the practice had seemed to be working: he'd improved drastically since Dave had given him the present for his weird human Christmas earlier that sweep. While he used to trip and fall at first, now he was able to travel short distances without help, and longer distances provided he had something to lean on. It was also remarkably easier without his cape, which he still hadn't donned on along with his sweater, but he preferred watching the thing flow along with him as he glided the distances he could.

He kept grasping on and off of the bookcases of the lower floor of the library, steadily gliding along the marble floor between cases all on his own. All the while, he had an audience of one to watch on as he did, a Seer of Light to watch over him as if he were a little brother. Well, not watching him specifically, more like absent-mindedly looking after him to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. She sat in her usual spot on a chair at the table across from him, the chair turned away from the table so it at least faced him and gave the impression of watching him, and reading a semi-erotic troll novel that taught her quite a bit about the Quadrants. She hadn't complained when Dave told her to look after Eridan; she'd been quite happy in fact, for whatever reason.

Stopping at the bottom of the steps leading to the second floor, he looked over to Rose and told her, "wwitch i command you to come help me up stairs."

Rose turned a page in her book, still not looking up at him. "You command me?"

Eridan glared at her for a second, before crossing his arms and mumbled a response.

"Excuse me Eridan? If you mumble like that, I can't hear you."

Eridan took a deep breath in, exhaling, "could you please come and help me up these steps? the wwheels alwways throww me off when i wwalk."

Rose looked up from her book and smiled at him. "Of course. Since you asked so nicely."

Rose placed her book on the table after placing a thin bookmark inside of it, and slowly got up and walked over to Eridan. She locked arms with him, and he grabbed onto the sleeve of her God Tier uniform to steady himself. She took the first step up, leading Eridan into his first step up as well, and the two made their way up the stairs, Eridan clearly embarrassed at having to rely on a witch to do something. She finally let go of him once the two were up the top, bidding a quick farewell to the stubborn but secretly grateful Prince, and walked back down to her chair to continue her reading.

Eridan was about to resume his training, before hearing the faint sound of a honk coming from the room across from him. The Prince looked back down to Rose, seeing she was too engrossed in her book to notice the sound, and curiosity eventually got the better of him. He stumbled over to the door, and pulled the chest height doorknob to open up the large metal door. Entering the room, he initially couldn't make out any figures among the barren room, but he finally noticed the source of the honking in the middle of the room, sprawled amongst a pile of horns.

"sup bro?" Gamzee greeted him, in a low and calm tone.

Eridan froze up as soon as he realised whom was in front of him, unable to either reach the door or make a move against the clown. "gam?" he managed to whimper out.

"THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY MOTHER FUCKING QUESTION," he then boomed.

Eridan glanced behind him, waiting for anyone to come to his rescue. "im fine. just… just fuckin dandy."

Gamzee smiled at him. "that's good. REAL FUCKING GOOD. come on down then, bro. WE CAN SHOOT THE SHIT FOR A LITTLE."

Eridan cleared his throat, and wriggled the collar of his t-shirt. "id rather not thanks."

Gamzees' smile disappeared. "oh, is that so? WELL THEN." Gamzee lifted himself up off the pile of the horns, and began slowly walking towards Eridan. "i guess i'll mother fucking stand then."

Eridan held up his hands in defence. "dont you fuckin dare come anywwhere near me or face the fury of my wwrath!"

Gamzee leaned forward, his giant stature compared to Eridan making Eridan instinctively shrink down, and gently pushed the fishes hands down. "CALM DOWN, MY FINNED PRINCE. i just want to converse bro. HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING CIVIL CONVERSATION."

"wwhy the fuck wwould i evver wwant to talk to you?"

Gamzee sighed, "bro, it ain't a big deal. WE'RE BOTH JUST A PAIR OF MOTHER FUCKERS WHOSE FORMER BEST FRIENDS HATE US. so why not use it to bond and shit?"

Eridan looked him up and down, his face still scratched and still in his usual baggy polka dot pants and black tee with his purple sign on it. "i… guess so. if you say so. but try anythin and i swwear to gog."

Gamzee chuckled, and walked around Eridan to lean on the wall beside the door. "SO. how's karkat doing? I HAVEN'T SEEN MY BRO IN A YEAR!"

Eridan scowled at him. "hes fine. just his usual spastic self. hey could you maybe stop shoutin at least?"

Gamzee rolled his eyes. "fine," he spat, "you got it." His words then lost their spite, and he switched to a more wistful tone. "i got to admit, the mother fucker is starting to get on my pale conscience. the lords work has to be completed, don't get a mother fucker wrong, but i sort of miss what we had. i miss him."

Eridan lightened up a little bit, but his words still held a little hate. "wwell maybe if you hadnt ditched him as soon as wwe started movin through space you guys could havve hung out more."

"the great lord comes first, fish. all other mother fuckers are secondary."

Eridan growled, "wwho the fuck are you talkin about gam? and stop callin me fish."

"all will be shown in time, fish. and maybe he could have use for someone such as yourself."

"wwill you stop bein so vvague! for fucks sake no wonder your thing wwith tavv nevver came to fruition."

Gamzee bore his teeth at Eridan, moving in front of him and placing a hand beside him to keep him from leaving. "don't you dare mention my bro, bro."

"and wwhat are you goin to do about it? bash my head in? id fuckin wwelcome it."

Gamzee laughed malevolently, "that's quite an invitation bro. but i got better plans for you."

Eridan could see the intention in Gamzees' eyes, and he gulped a large batch of saliva that had been building up in his mouth. He could've stopped it. Ducked under the clowns' arms and out the door, or just simply pushed him away and ran. But he couldn't bring himself to. Like he didn't want to. So he laid against a door, watching as Gamzee, whom had the biggest smile Eridan had ever seen, slowly inched his head forward, until their lips connected into a kiss. The force applied from Gamzee pushed Eridan back, his head hitting the door with a soft knock. There was an enormous amount of despise between the two as they made out, Eridan placing his hands onto Gamzees' chest and squeezing into it hard, getting a muffled moan from the Bard.

Eridan opened his eyes suddenly as he felt Gamzee bite into the bottom of his lip, and quickly pushed him away to rub his bleeding lip. "you fuckin asshole! wwhat the fuck is up with my kismesis' and bitin my damn lip?"

Gamzee chuckled, beginning to slowly back away from Eridan, "this was fun, eridan. A REAL FUCKING BITCHTITS OF A TIME. i expect to do this again sometime. YOU, ME, AND ANOTHER SPECIAL SOMEONE." He gave a wink and a wave of his hand. "i'll see you later, fish."

And with that, Gamzee turned around and climbed into an open vent behind him, kicking the grate closed behind him. Eridan stood still for a moment, massaging his wound with a hand, before sighing with disappointment. He slumped his shoulders, grabbing onto the door behind him and stepping through it. He retraced his steps, too busy being blue to stumble from his Heelys, all the way to the bottom of the steps, where he stopped dead and stared at Rose, whom was still engrossed in her book. He clicked his heels, and pushed himself over to Rose on his wheels. He grabbed a chair to stop himself, pulling it out, and seating himself beside Rose.

"Hi Eridan," Rose greeted him.

Eridan placed his head on the table, burying it in his arms. "hi."

"Are you feeling okay?" she then asked genuinely.

"not really."

"Would you want to talk about it?"

A muffled sigh came in response. "i guess. i think im in a kismesis wwith gam noww."

"Oh? That's the spade one, isn't it? Do you not want to be in such a relationship?"

"no i do. i just dont wwant to wwant to be in a kismesis wwith him. you knoww wwhat i mean?"

"I think I do."

Eridan was silent for a second, before speaking back up. "could you comfort me? just tell me evverythings goin to be alright."

Rose chuckled to herself, "Of course." She reach out one hand, the other holding her book still, and began to scratch Eridans' head soothingly. "Everything will be just fine, Eridan. I promise."

Eridan sighed contently, feeling slightly more happy in her presence, and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	17. Eridan: Recollect

**Prince of Heart- Octopimp plays the best Eridan, I swear. Too bad he totally abandoned Homestuck.**

"so thats howw it is is it?" Eridan questioned, the scowl ever creeping down his face. The room was filled with hatred by this point, as Eridan glared his attention between his two aggressors. The Witch of Life he once loved, and the Mage of Doom scum that now called himself her matesprit. Sollux returned his scowl, though it suited the bee much less than the Prince of Hope himself, and Feferi gave a hesitant frown to her former friend, while the Knight of Blood stood in the background. Surprisingly, Karkat was the least angry of the four, more worried for the safety of what friends still remained in the room. Eridan could sense another behind as well, the Sylph of Space keeping her promise of waiting for Eridan to go activate the matriorb.

"2he'2 riight, man," Sollux started, narrowing his red and blue eyes at the Prince. "can't beliieve thiis, ii wa2 lookiing two a nap two." Sollux jumped off the horn pile, a loud honk filling the room as he did, and landed in front of Eridan. "ii 2hould have kiilled you on lobaf when ii had the chance." Feferi followed him off the horn pile, placing herself at her matesprits' side. "oh well, gue22 iit'2 only fiitiing ii'd take you down iin ROUND TWO!" He began shaking, red and blue sparks flying off of him. "you ready, prince?"

Eridan equipped his wand from his strife deck, and shouted, "bring it mage!"

The two got into battle stances, Eridan whipping his cape off in one fluid movement with his free hand. The room around them almost seemed to freeze, anyone that wasn't the Witch, Mage, or Prince watching them intently and with bated breath. The two made a move against each other almost instantaneously, Eridan shooting a ball of white science that collided with a similar ball of Sollux's powers. They were blown back by the collision, Eridan skidding to a halt a few feet away.

After recovering, he noticed Feferi come between the two and scold them, but was unable to hear her over his seething anger. She stopped dead when the Mage behind her began shaking again, a red and blue aura covering him as he slowly rose into the air. Feferi backed away, Eridan's anger only growing, and he secretly hoped for himself to do the same. And then... he did. He had no idea how he started levitating, but he was too furious to think over it, only to begin acting on his impulses. He rose even further than Sollux, towering over him in all his scientific glory.

And then he shot a beam, a long and thin white line, which collided with the red and blue electricity coming from Sollux's eyes. His beam only grew larger to accommodate Sollux, and for a second, just a second, it seemed like Sollux's attempt at murder might succeed. But suddenly, Eridan thought for a second. He thought about Feferi, how much he'd loved her, and the chance he'd given to help her. Then his mind wandered to the Mage, and how he'd stolen her from him. He was tired of being the butt of their jokes, being constantly abandoned and tossed around from person to person. He was just so damn tired. So his beam grew larger, and larger, and with one final push, he blew Sollux back and knocked him into the wall behind him, instantly knocking him out. The Mage slid down the wall, a blood streak following him as he fell into one of the many computers around the room.

Eridan slowly lowered to the ground, landing on the ground softly. The room seemed to fall silent, to Eridan at least, save for the soft hum from his wand. He looked ahead at a shocked Feferi, whom transitioned straight into anger and began to sprint at him with her trident ready to stab him. Eridan was still for a second, no sound still entering his ears, but as she got closer, without any thought, he raised his wand, and shot another beam through her stomach. She fell back, the trident flying from her hands, and fell into the pile of horns, which emitted a loud honk as she did. His arm lowered, but he heard shuffling from behind him, and he whipped around to face his new aggressor, to reveal a very furious Sylph. She growled at him, bearing her teeth, as she pulled her lipstick from her Strife deck. The two stared at each other for a second, before Kanaya's eyes switched over to the matriorb that still sat on the ground in worry. Eridan noticed this, and in an unthinking instant, he blew the spikey ball up with one, hardy wand blast. Kanaya looked on helplessly, then glared at Eridan with murder-hungry eyes.

Eridan didn't know why he did it. Maybe there was a reason he destroyed it, destroying any hope that the troll race might succeed them. Perhaps it was because he thought they didn't deserve to raise the new troll race, with all their teen drama and murderous tendencies. Maybe it was just out of spite to the Jade blood, for not taking his side in this whole situation. Just maybe, there was no reason. All he knew was that he was angry, nay, seething. And as she ran at him with her chainsaw raised, he raised his wand, and blasted an innocent Jade blood straight through her stomach. Just as she fell to the ground, he looked over at Karkat, whom had his mouth wide open at the site. Eridan was about to treat him the same as the three others, but he found himself unable to for some reason. He was too tired to kill anymore, way too tired. So he simply paced over to the transportaliser, and teleported to elsewhere on the meteor.

Fifteen minutes later, he found himself on the roof of the meteor, and he got a sense of de je vu, but his tiredness overwhelmed him to the point where he didn't care. As he entered the bland, grey roof, he watched the meteors around him tumble and collide, moving along the unknowable space. His gaze fell downward, where he saw a familiar Cerulean blood hunched over a computer in her orange God Tier outfit.

"vvris?" Eridan called deeply, just loud enough for her to hear.

The girl perked her head up, and turned it to face Eridan. "Eridan?"

Eridan took a couple steps forward. "wwhat are you doin up here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

Another couple of steps forward. "you knoww wwhat? i dont care wwhat youre doin here. just movve."

Vriska slowly stood up from her position, bringing her whole body to face the boy. "8ut where are you going, Ampora? You wouldn't come up here without reason, would you?"

"i said movve," Eridan commanded in a much lower tone.

"Not until you tell me where the hell you're going. Why with all the secrets, Prince?" This earned a glare from Eridan. "Well, maybe coming up here was a good thing. 8n't gonna 8e a8le to take on Jack 8y myself!"

"take on?" Eridan questioned. "youre gonna fight him?"

"Well, of course! What else could we do?"

Eridan felt his wand begin to hum again. "i cant let you do that vvris."

"Oh? And why not?" No response came from him. "Fine. You want to fight? You got one, you douche!"

Vriska pulled her dice from her strife deck, each occupying a free space between every finger, and gloated them in front of the Prince. Eridan bore his teeth at the girl, readying himself for a battle he… swore he had before. He got a lingering sense of de je vu, just as before, but it had festered and grown until it got to an undeniable level. He looked around the space, before he heard a honk come from another side of the roof, and suddenly he realised what was happening.

"oh god damn it!" He cried. "this is a fuckin dream again, isnt it?"


	18. Eridan: Find the Sylph

**Prince of Heart- Hey there.**

 **So I've been busy lately, so haven't found time to write, but that should be fixed now. A couple of things that consumed last week. For one, I had my schools formal, which is the Australian prom so you know, and I went to a party afterwards and drank quite a bit, so that was Wednesday and Thursday gone. It was fun, the usual myriad of teen drama that I may or may not have caused a little amongst my friends. Here's a clue; think of how a Prince of Heart could fuck shit up among his friends.**

 **Then I had my graduation on Friday, so High School's finished. Onto Tertiary next year, I suppose. So here's a chapter now, at least.**

Eridan jerked his body around, frustrated by all the delusions that came from the dream bubble shenanigans, and gazed up into the endless yonder of space. He scowled almost as if he were still acting out the memory, and attempted to scare whatever was maintaining the bubble. But alas, nothing came back from the abyss, and he turned back around to find the roof completely empty of his former kismesis, as well as the memory of his current kismesis. He sighed, frustrated, and thought about what he'd do next. He decided to just retrace his steps, maybe something new would happen should he go back to the computer room? Maybe he was finally dead and this was him coming to terms with it, but he didn't hold his hopes for that.

So he sighed again, turned around and walked back towards the door. Once he'd reached it, he barged through the thing with all his seven and a half sweeps might, and the door flew open to reveal the metal staircase gone in favour of a large, sprawling Alternian neighbourhood. Not one Eridan was familiar with though; instead, it was what appeared to be a series of slums meant for the poorer Alternians. He looked up at the series of skyscrapers, all grey and lifeless, packed together like sardines and only differentiated by their jagged design, typical of troll children building their houses. Behind him sat a similar sight, as well as up and down the lifeless street.

He stood in front of the building for a second, assessing his situation and location, before he heard a soft grunting coming from around the corner. Eridan followed the sound and rounded the corner, to see a familiar blue dress adorned on a curvy body struggling to push a large wooden stall reading 'Exposition: 5 8oon8ucks.'

Eridan approached her and asked, "ara?"

The girls seemed shocked at his appearance, apparently not have seen him as he walked up. "Oh!" she huffed. "Eridan! I thought you would never enter the dream 8u88le."

"wwell im not one to disappoint. a lot at least." He said the last line with significant hesitance.

Aranea leaned up against the booth nonchalantly with her shoulder, folding her arms in front of her. "Well, consider me still proud of allllllll your efforts to please. It's not like you could disappoint me any worse than a certain other violent fish troll, she just seems so uninterested in me lately. I set up this cool exposition 8ooth, and it still took a few measly 8oon8ucks to get her to listen to me." Aranea unfolded one arm and squished her face against the palm of her hand. "I mean, it might've 8een 8etter if I gave her some exposition a8out people other than our friends, 8ut I've already got all this dialogue typed up!"

"the fuck is exposition?" Eridan asked, pacing up to the booth and tracing the sign with his fingers.

"Oh! Like, information. Lore."

"wwait. lore?" Eridan looked over at her eagerly. "like lore about me as wwhoevver the fucks ancestor?"

Aranea smile knowingly. "Why yes Eridan, why do you ask?"

"i wwant to knoww howw badass i wwas in your wworld!"

"Well, I can most certainly accommodate!" Aranea left her position and walked behind the booth. She leaned under the booth, and pulled out a little folded card titled 'The Sylph Is In' and placed it in front of her on the booth. "So my finned Prince, would you care to hear the story of Eridan Ampora, also known as 'the Kingdom Demolisher."

Eridan's eyes lit up with excitement, and he smiled widely. "you better fuckin believve it ara! wwhat is it? fivve boonbucks?"

"Well I-"

She was interrupted when Eridan pulled a wad of boonbucks from his striped pants and threw it into the Sylphs' face.

"Oh, well that was unnecessary, 8ut thanks! I'm guessing you must've gotten a lot of money from your session?"

"oh fuck no the angels didnt givve me shit for killin them. i got a lot of bucks wwhen i demolished that loww blooded scum in a fight and killed his significantly less despicable matesprit."

Aranea lost her smile, and a really worried look came upon her. "Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh god damn it no! You need to run and hide! Now!"

"wwhat? the guy wwas wway more scummy than you could evver think about trust me."

"No, you should never say that in the dream 8u88les."

"wwhats the wworst that could happen?"

"You think your Vantas is 8ad when it comes to lectures? Our Vantas will trump that guy any day of the week! So please just leave 8efore it's too late!"

"no! howwevver bad this douche is im sure i can handle him. and if wworst comes to wworst i could just knock him out an-"

A loud whistle blocked out his statement, causing Eridan to recoil from the sudden noise in pain, as it had sounded right next to his ear. He flew to the side in one motion, clutching his left ear, and glared at the source of the whistle. The source revealed itself to be a Karkat looking fellow, similar in weight and height to the Knight, but instead wore a pair of denim jeans with an obnoxiously bright candy red sweater.

The boy dropped the whistle from his mouth, letting the silver thing fall down over his sweater. "I came as quickly as I c9uld!"

Aranea groaned and laid her face down on the booth. "Hello Kankri," she mumbled.

"Yes, hell9 Aranea. And hell9 t9 y9u t99, Cr9nus l99king fell9w. Wait, d9 y9u mind 6eing called 'Cr9nus l99king fell9w?' I am very s9rry if I seem to 6e generalizing, it was n9t my intenti9n." The boy, Kankri, turned to Aranea. "Why did y9u n9t tell me his trigger was 6eing likened t6 Cr9nus?"

"It's not," Aranea muffled again with her head still on the booth, "He never said he was offended Kankri."

"He didn't? Huh, I must have misheard. I ap9l9gise my sea faring friend, I have 6een 6usy l99king f9r my dancest9r, 6ut this matter takes the utm9st imp9rtance. I heard 9ne 9f y9u say s9mething very p9tentially 9ffensive to the lesser bl99ded pe9ple in 9ur gr9up, and I ran as fast as I c9uld."

"you ran here?" Eridan asked, astonished at the surprising athletic prowess of the Troll.

Aranea raised her head from the booth. "Do you realize how hypocritical you sounded when you referred to low 8looded people as 'lesser 8looded?'"

"Please Aranea, y9ur 9pini9n is insignificant c9mpared to the greater plight 9f s9cial justice!"

Aranea rolled her eyes and let her head fall onto the booth with a bang, her short hair falling around her. "Whatever."

"S9 I assume y9u were the 9ne t9 make that 9utrage9us statement?"

"yeah so wwhat?"

"Well, d9 y9u realise h9w 9ffensive 9f a statement that was? Lesser 6l99ded tr9lls like Mituna, Rufi9, 9r G9d f9rbid, Damara, might take 9ffense t9wards y9ur a6leist statements and then that w9uld be an9ther can 9f w9rms n9ne 9f us w9uld care t9 9pen."

"wwhat the fuck are you talkin about? i dont care! wwhat the evverlovvin fuck is an ableist anywway?"

Aranea made a concerned gasp, muffled from her position on the booth. "You've done it now, Eridan."

"I am s9 glad y9u asked!" He pulled a small piece of paper from his back pocket, and kept unfolding it until it made a large list about half the size of Eridan. "This is a list of a6leist w9rds and terms f9r future reference purp9ses. S9me of the entries are slurs, s9me are descripti9ns of disa6led pe9ple, s9me are slang that derive fr9m a6leist 9rigins, and s9me are c9mm9n metaph9rs that rely 9n disa6ility and a6leism. This is a living d9cument, c9nstantly gr9wing, expanding, and changing. If I've missed s9mething, please let me kn9w!"

Eridan leaned over to Aranea. "wwhat is he on about? wwhy is there a list?"

"You 8rought this on yourself Eridan, I'm going to try and tune him out. You should too." She reached up and lightly patted Eridan's head sympathetically.

"9ne imp9rtant n9te: Many pe9ple wh9 identify with particular disa6ilities 9r disa6ility in general may use descript9rs fr9m this list in an act 9f reclaiming the language. Y9u may well t99! BUT if y9u d9 n9t identify with a particular disa6ility/disa6led identity, it's pr96a6ly appr9priative t9 use s9me 9f th9se terms. After the list 9f a6leist w9rds and terms, I have included lists 9f alternatives t9 a6leist slurs, descripti9ns, and metaph9rs, if y9u're interested in unlearning the patterns 9f linguistic a6leism in y9ur 9wn language. I am a6out t9 list just a few terms, s9 feel free t9 speak up if y9u find 9ne that refers t9 y9u: 6lind to 6lank slash turn a 6lind eye t9 6lank slash 6linded by ign9rance, 6ig9try, etc. This refers to 6lind, l9w-visi9n, 9r sight-limited pe9ple. 6ound t9 a wheelchair 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah…"

Eridan stared on, mouth agape in shock at the boys ability to just keep talking. He grabbed onto Aranea's hand, and the girl instinctively intertwined hers with his. She gazed up at the desperate Prince, and he looked at her with pleading eyes.

"do somethin. im gonna bloww my damn brains out if i keep listenin to his drivvel." Aranea raised an eyebrow at him. "pleeeeeeeease ara?"

She chuckled, "Only since you said that with eight e's." She turned to face Kankri. "Hey Kankri!"

Kankri pulled himself out of his rant. "What is it Aranea, I'm in the middle 9f s9mething imp9rtant."

"Porrim just messaged me saying that Horuss is making fun of her for 8eing a Jade 8lood, aaaaaaaand she keeps calling him a disgusting 8looded pig!"

Kankri gasped, "They are?!" He grabbed his whistle from his chest. "N9t 9n my watch, I've g9t t9 sh9w H9russ h9w t9 6e a m9re c9nsiderate pers9n; and P9rrim that she needs t9 take her Jade 6l99ded duties seri9usly! Thanks Aranea!"

And with that, he sprinted downtown, his whistle screeching. Eridan sighed, relieved, and realised he was still holding Araneas hand. He cupped the other around as well, and looked directly in her eyes.

"thank you. i mean jegus fuckin christ i wwas about to throww myself off a cliff."

"You could've just apologised," Aranea replied matter-of-factly, unclasping his hands.

"i didnt feel like apologisin."

"Do you ever?"

"ivve apologised before. to kar and kan."

"Did you?"

"i… i thought i did. howw about wwe dont talk about this huh?"

"Right. Now, how a8out that story?"

Eridan's eyes widened. "please do!"

"Alright then, this is the story of one of the most fearsome conquerors on 8eforan, Eridan Ampora; the Kingdom Demolisher."


	19. Eridan: Be Pre-Scratch Self

**Prince of Heart- Well here's a story that provides no relevance to the main storyline other than being symbolic of Eridans' feelings. Fun times.**

 **Beforan, 300 sweeps before the game**

Eridan sat on his newfound throne, set in place by the previous ruler, previously overthrown in a battle of epic proportions by the Kingdom Demolisher himself. The battle had been trivial, lasting only a few hours between Eridan's military might and the small city with a population of six hundred thousand. Eridan had taken the city, not out of revenge or desire, but simply because the city was in the way of his goal: the underwater utopia of Palontine; his former home before he was banished for violent actions. Now he planned on getting revenge on the city, by either tearing it down and slaughtering the inhabitants, or ruling over them with an iron fist.

The city beyond him was breath-taking though: one of his cannons had directly hit the palace, letting him take in the ruined cityscape below him. He gazed down upon the crumbled wooden buildings, watching his soldiers, consisting of members from all over the Hemospectrum, march around, occasionally stopping to pull up some of the civilians and send them off to his work camps. He smiled, knowing that he was just a few hundred miles from the edge of the ocean, and so close to getting home. Part of him was nervous though; Her Personable Sovereign, in spite of her reputation as one of the nicest trolls on the planet, had begun to grow impatient with him, and taking the capital of Beforan may be the last straw before she comes down on him with all her might. As confident as Eridan was in his accumulated army consisting of soldiers from his conquered cities and fellow rebellious high-bloods wanting to reinstate the nobility system, they were nothing compared to the hundreds of millions of soldiers in the Sovereigns army. He had to give it to her: Feferi knew how to future proof.

The throne room he sat in was silent, save for the cackling of fire that softly burned around the makeshift window a few dozen feet in front of him. He would've put it out, if he actually cared about the mahogany décor making up the room, which admittedly was pretty good looking. Four guards stood around him; two at either of his sides, and the other two stationed at the door, not that he needed them. He'd grown into a pretty skilled fighter, learned in hand to hand and his rifle, Ahab's Crosshairs, and on top of that, his custom made outfit by a Jade-blooded friend provided easy protection. She had adapted one of his usual outfits, a pair of striped pants, and a lightweight everything-proof vest that showed off his thick arms. On top of that laid his cape, completely stab, bullet and explosion proof. Most would claim that his purple streak of hair and glasses would take away his credibility as a warrior; but that was before he'd cut out their tongues.

Eridan would most likely stay a few days, then gather his forces for the decimation of the remaining towns and cities standing between him, and victory.

"My LoRd," he heard a coarse male voice say. He looked over towards the door, and saw one of his most trusted commanders enter. The purple blooded land dweller briskly walked up to him, and gave a quick bow by kneeling on one leg and springing back up.

"oh makara," Eridan said, leaning his head on one fist and examining his long time commander, the Mettlesome Combatant. The fairly tall troll definitely towered over Eridan, his clothes consisting of a pair of baggy polka dot pants, a pair of shoes bigger than his feet, and an equally baggy t-shirt. Not the best clothes for combat, Eridan thought, but he was one of the best fighters in his entire army. His face was caked with make-up, a myriad of black and white, while a large poof of messy hair hid half his horns.

"SoMeOnE hAs CoMe To SeE yOu," the Combatant informed him.

Eridan scoffed, "i dont think i asked for vvisitors makara."

"YeAh, WeLl, ThIs MoThErFuCkEr WaS iNsIsTaNt." Gamzee moved to the side, and gestured for the double-doors to open. "PrEsEnTiNg HeR mOtHeRfUcKiNg MaJeStY, hEr PeRsOnAbLe SoVeReIgN."

Eridan perked up, and watched as four figures entered the room; two well-dressed guardsman, the Sovereigns Threshecutioner, and the Sovereign herself. The guards stationed themselves at the end of the room, near the window, while the Threshecutioner and Sovereign greeted Eridan up-front. The Threshecutioner himself wore a foot length grey robe, covering most of his body aside from his face, his striking candy red eyes being his most notable feature. The Sovereign though, wore a more colourful outfit, with a black and fuchsia one-piece swimsuit underneath a transparent green and purple skirt, and a pair of goggles on top of her head in front of the golden tiara.

"oh your majesty," Eridan said, smiling and examining her curvy figure up and down, "lookin ravvishing as alwways."

"Cut t)(e s)(it, -Eridan," she ordered. "W)(at the actual FUCK do you think you're doing?"

"vvery rude of you your majesty," Eridan said, acting as if his feelings were hurt. "i address you formally and you treat me wwith disrespect."

"R-EALLY? After everyt)(ing you've done? I gave you a c)(ance to join my forces-"

"you gavve me a chance to givve up evverythin i built and be ruled ovver by an oppressin force. but the problem bein that no-one else realises it."

"O)(, you are not giving me a lesson on morality rig)(t now!"

Eridan scowled at her. "wwhat is your business wwith me? i do havve other matters to attend to."

"I'm sure," the Sovereign noted sarcastically. "I see now that diplomatic peace will not succeed, nor do I wis)( to start a full blown war. So I c)(allenge you to a one on one; if I win, you dissemble your forces and retreat to the sout)(ern lands."

Eridan raised an eyebrow. "and if i wwin?"

Feferi sighed, "I will pull all support I )(ave for t)(e city of Palontine, allowing you easy access."

Eridan chuckled, "those are some guts youvve got there fef. wwho wwill fight?"

"You and me, -Eridan. No weapons, no )(elp."

"wwith all due respect your majesty i dont think that wwould be wwise," Eridan pushed himself up from the throne. "but if you insist."

Eridan clicked open the pin that kept his cape around his neck, and let the cape fall behind him and flow around the chair. He then ripped open his vest as he walked, the thing plonking down to the ground with a loud thump, to show off his stout upper torso. He then proceeded to crack his neck, standing over the Sovereign in height, much unlike his post-scratch counterpart.

* * *

"wwait wwait," Eridan paused the story, "wwas that comment really necessary?"

The Sylph chuckled, "I'm giving you a compliment! From paintings I've seen, you were a handsome and stout individual. Just think; that'll 8e you in a few sweeps! Well, the stout 8it at least. I think you've got the other part down."

He returned the Sylphs' smile. "nice savve. but im the same height as you!"

"Exactly my point. You just 8urned yourself."

Eridan lost his smile and growled, "i guess i did. man i inderstand wwhy kar hates himself so much."

"oh vwell hey, vwhat seems to be going on here?" A mysterious voice asked, prompting a loud groan from Aranea. Eridan turned his head to the source of the voice, shown to be a remarkably familiar, though Eridan couldn't place his finger on it, male fish troll. The guy stood above both Eridan and Aranea, six feet in height, and dressed surprisingly different from an average troll, more so like one of the humans; a white short sleeved tee with the same sign as Eridan, a pair of black denim jeans, and a black pair of dress shoes. The guy had slicked back hair and doted the same pair of horns Eridan had, and had a sign shaped scar above his right eye.

Aranea threw her hands up in frustration. "Why can't I just tell a story without people interrupting- Oh my God, is this how people see me? May8e I am that 8ad."

"you ain't bad looking, if youre vworrying about that," the guy remarked, waltzing over to the booth and leaning on it nonchalantly with one of his mesomorphic arms. "so a booth, huh? vwhat are you selling? 8A8ES? it looks like youwve only got tvwo left in stock." He gazed over at Eridan with an eyebrow raised. "hovw you doing?"

"im... fine i guess. wwho the fuck are you?"

"im the cat that can shovw you the 8EST time of your life."

Aranea pointed a hand at the guy. "That is Cronus Ampora, your dancestor. Otherwise known as Orphaner Dualscar."

"wwait," Eridan said, shocked, "youre my ancestor?"

"hey, i can be vwhatewver the situation needs, you knovw? like i could be your boyfriend, if the need arises."

Cronus inched closer to Eridan, making him feel a slight bit of discomfort. "yeah no thanks ivve already got a boyfriend in wwhatevver quadrant you dont havve."

Aranea raised an eyebrow. "Do you really?"

"wwhose side are you on? fine i only got a kismesis can you just go awway?"

"oh, come on," Cronus said, moving over to Eridan and wrapping one arm around him in one swift movement. "dont be like that. this thing vwe got here? i mean, vwhat is going on here?"

"wwhat is going on here?"

Cronus chuckled, "you know damn vwell theres something betvween us. something strong and passionate."

Aranea made a sudden gasp, banging her hands on the desk. "Cronus, I just found out that Latula got yelled at by Mituna and is feeling insecure and vulnerable!"

"latula? insecure? WVULNARABLE? jackpot!" Cronus left Eridan's side and sprinted off in the opposite direction. "thanks for the heads up, babe!"

"holy shit youre good at that." Eridan remarked.

"Why can't one of my friends I actually like turn up? Thank God you're here, I'd probably 8low my 8rains out if I had to deal with them on my own."

"i mean to be kinda honest he wwas pretty hot."

"Yeah, that seems to 8e the general consensus around most here. He's just too much of a mean and over8earing to handle that most dismiss him, and he's gotten especially worse since he identified as a human."

"i should probably go convverse wwith him. he is still my ancestor. and another vversion of myself i guess."

"Well you're welcome to go and talk to the guy whose only purpose seems to 8e an amplification of your negative qualities."

"as temptin as that sounds im gonna pass."

"Well as long as you're here, I may as well continue my story."

* * *

Feferi didn't back down though, clenching her fist as the man approached. The room was silent once more, the flames lighting the two's shadows along the wall behind them, and Eridan cracked his neck to instil fear in his opponent, though it didn't seem to work. He gave her a chance to swing first, but nothing came from the defiant girl. So he decided to take it for her, swinging his fist at her cheek, but was blocked when Feferi caught his fist in the palm of her hand. Her grip was surprisingly strong, and he felt a crack in his knuckle, forcing him to his knees.

"O)( w) (appened?" Feferi said smugly, feigning innocence. "I t)(oug)(t you were some fearsome warlord!"

Eridan struggled to look at his second-in-command. "makara."

The clown nodded, pulling a pair of pins from his inventory, but a sickle sliding across his throat stopped him, and he was pushed to the ground with purple blood flowing from his throat. Eridan would've shouted out, if he didn't feel a sharp needle pierce into his neck, causing him to fall to the ground.

"I expected more from a troll so infamous. )(ow long did you )(onestly think I'd let t)(is go on? And did you )(onestly t)(ink t)(at an army made of citizens of places you've conquered wouldn't eventually TURN ON YOU?" Only a groan came in response. "Well now look at you. An army in ruins, and I'm going to send you to be tried and executed for your crimes; t)(e first execution in a long time." Eridan felt himself fading from consciousness, the needles' drug flowing through his veins. "May w)(atever God you wors)(ip )(ave mercy on you." And he then fell under the influence, his mind finally fading to black.

 **Prince of Heart- Man, I can't wait to have a full chapter with Cronus. All views expressed about handsome insufferable fish douches are exclusive the author and the Serkets alone.**


	20. Eridan: Wake

**Prince of Heart- I know I shouldn't, but I feel proud of every line I gave Cronus last chapter. Do you know how long it took to come up with all those pick-up lines? At least two, maybe three, seconds.**

Eridan woke with a startled yell, flailing his head around to gain his bearings back. The last thing he remembered was being knocked out, his army allegedly in ruins and his second in command bleeding out on the floor. He couldn't believe it; everything he'd built over hundreds of sweeps, just gone in a matter of seconds due to his own pride. He should've known she had something up her sleeve; she was smarter than to just move into his territory with no second plans. Hindsight was a bitch that constantly plagued Eridan, it seemed.

He felt himself up, rubbing his bare chest, to make sure he was actually awake, and found himself relieved and slightly disappointed. Once sure of himself, he looked around his new accommodations to find himself trapped in a well-kept cage, which he guessed was in the Sovereigns personal prison. The place was surprisingly spacious and comfy; two queen beds sat at either end of the room, a curtain hid the bathroom opposite him, and a small television hung in the corner, currently playing some obscure channel Eridan was unfamiliar with. The golden walls were almost a tad too bright for him, and the diamond encrusted bars only added to the Sovereigns secret inner ego-maniac.

He slowly crawled over to the bars, still drowsy, and grabbed onto them with both hands. Outside the cell were two guards, both heavily armed in case of a breakout. So there went that idea. He sighed, frustrated, turned, and slumped down against the bars.

"Yeah, those 8ars are pretty strong, a8n't they?" he heard a female voice say, prompting him to look towards one of the beds, revealing a figure he initially hadn't noticed in his confusion. On the bed lay a woman, tall and athletic in shape, with her legs crossed and slowly kicking her feet rhythmically. A long coat covered most of her body, black with cerulean outlining's, with black pants tucked into a pair of equally black boots. She turned her head to face him, her long, messy hair falling as she rested it on its side, showing him her cerulean lips and eyeliner, and her blue eyes focused on him with curiousness.

Eridan stared at her for a few seconds, before making a waving gesture towards the bars. "fuck it i dont givve a shit. not like i havve anythin to go back to anywway."

"Yeah, when I heard they finally captured the infamous 'Kingdom Demolisher' Eridan Amporra, I couldn't 8elieve it! 8ut man, when they dragged you in here, I nearly knocked myself out I laughed so hard. How could you really 8e that stupid?"

"it wwas an honest mistake anyone could havve made," Eridan huffed in response.

"I just expected smarter from a Prince who 8uilt an army completely on his lonesome. I'll admit, in my younger sweeps I even had quite the crush on you. Oh, the days of reading about you, me and my friends swooning over the violet 8lood whom the papers painted in such a romanticized light. You truly were an inspiration to me."

"yeah youre wwelcome. wwell none of it matters noww does it? evverythins gone."

"What? You're just giving up, like-" She snapped her fingers, "-that?"

"and wwhat wwould you suggest?" Eridan snapped back, earning the half-hearted attention of a couple of guards. "i havve nothin left! and i dont evven knoww you howw am i supposed to begin to trust you?"

"Quiet down, you spaz! You're going to get us in trou8le with these ignorant guards!"

"HEY!" one of the guards shouted in a gruff,male tone. "$hut the hell up in there!"

"wwhy dont you come in and make me?" Eridan replied.

The guard growled, and fiddled in his back pocket for something, before then pulling out a set of keys. "That$ it I warned you." He jingled the keys, proceeded to open the cage door, and stepped inside as the other guard in the room watched on. Eridan gazed up at him angrily, feeling around his pocket, and found his object of desire. He pulled it out, revealing it to be a small, smooth stick, and pointed it menacingly at the guard, who tried to stifle a laugh. Eridan smirked, and the stick began to glow a bright, blinding even, white, prompting a mumble of confusion, before he blasted a hole straight through the guard with blinding white magic. The guard fell hard, a loud thump made as he hit the ground, and various tid-bits from his armor clinked around him as they were thrown from his uniform.

Smoke rose from the tip of the stick, and Eridan lowered his arm. "fuckin idiots nevver expect a science wand." He looked across at the other guard, whom was still awestruck at the feat. "you. ovver here. noww." The guard shook out of his trance, and complied with the Kingdom Destroyer's orders, rushing over to the cell and standing in front of him. "wwhats the quickest wway from this prison?"

"Do(-s it matt(-r?" The guard stumbled out. "As soon as you l(-av(-, you'll b(- on (-v(-ry watch list on th(- plan(-t!"

"id be more wworried about wwhat the angry prince is gonna do to the red blood wwho doesnt tell him wwhat he wwants."

"OK, OK! Th(-r(-'s a s(-w(-r syst(-m acc(-ss(-d from th(- barracks down th(- hall!"

Before Eridan could reply, the guard groaned, and suddenly fell to the ground fast asleep. Eridan looked visibly confused, but realized that it was the fault of his fellow prisoner. The girl was sat on her bed, placing a pair of gloves on, kicking her crossed legs.

"You had me going there for a second!" she exclaimed. "I never heard stories of you 8eing a wizard."

"a wwizard of science maybe," Eridan replied, getting up and dusting himself off.

The girl jumped off the bed bouncily. "So, where we going?"

"i need to find someone close to me. they havve to be alivve. then i guess ill go from there. i dont knoww wwhether youd be better comin along or goin a separate way."

"Fuck. That. Whatever operation you're planning, I want in. We'll 8e co-leaders of your second kingdom."

Eridan looked the girl up and down, before laying his attention directly into her blue eyes. "fine. if you wwere locked up wwith me you must havve really pissed off the wwrong people right?"

"How a8out we get out of here before I tell you allllllll a8out that?" She held out her hand. "My name, by the by, is Vriska Serket."

Eridan took her hand and gave it a couple of shakes. "a pleasure. i just hope to god the person im lookin for is alive."

"And if they aren't?"

"ill figure somethin out."

* * *

"what the fucks goin on here?" someone spoke up, shocking Eridan from his trance.

"Oh, Meenah!" Aranea exclaimed. "Crap, how long has it 8een? I completely forgot to 8ring this 8ooth to the set location."

"oh carp try not to let it keep you up at night," Meenah replied sarcastically, turning her attention to Eridan. "she rope you into this as well?"

Eridan shrugged. "not really i just wwanna hear about myself from your timeline."

Meenah gasped, "you reely like herring her stories? she even payin you?"

"No actually," Aranea mentioned, "he paid me."

"no shit?"

Eridan thought for a moment. "nope im completely searious."

The Thief looked at him for a moment, before a wide smile spread across her face and she wrapped one arm around him. "i knew there was somefin about you i liked!"

"Really?" Aranea said in disbelief. "I seem to remember you saying something like, 'that fishboys tryin to jack my style with all the HOT BLING on his body."

"i dont remember any of that and you cant hold it against me. you know what lets just get to business fore i krill myself."

"Of course. Eridan, it appears we may have to take a raincheck on that story for the time 8eing."

Eridan slumped his shoulders in disappointment. "oh come on really?"

"Don't worry, just come 8y in the next 8u88le. It's always a fun time to talk your ear off, Eridan." She gave him a reassuring and sweet smile. "Why don't you go and talk to your ancestor? I'm sure you and Cronus could get along fine."

Eridan let out a reluctant groan. "fine ill go find the douche. ill see you next time i guess."

He gave her a wave, and walked off to find his ancestor.


	21. Eridan: Greet

**Prince of Heart- Mituna is, by far, the worst person I've had to write for. Like, his quirk is just bleh. He replaces like eight letters with numbers, but also misspells a shit tonne of letters? God he was a weird character.**

Eridan traced his hand along the grey building, feeling curious as to how the commoner land dwellers lived back on Alternia. He'd never really ventured out to the slums, there was never any reason to, and who knows what kind of diseases he'd gain from red bloods. The closest he'd come was to the Blue blood territory, back when he dated Vriska, and Gog knows that left a bad taste in his mouth. But it was interesting to see how they lived; and it was every bit as shitty as he imagined. No wonder the land dwellers littered in the ocean; their own streets were filled with trash, grease, and complete garbage that seemed almost never-ending. Good riddance, Eridan thought, the non-gilled bastards deserved this for polluting his waters.

He turned another corner in his search for his ancestor, and saw the sorry bastard sitting on a step outside of a building, rubbing his bruised violet cheek. He sighed and tugged at his non-existent cape, which he remembered he threw away in the memory, feeling kind of naked without his full outfit. Then he took a couple steps forward, noticing that the Bard looked… actually kind of depressed, before eventually catching his attention. Cronus scrambled up, using a pipe beside him to haul himself, and positioned himself so he lent nonchalantly against the wall, almost as if he was trying to keep his appearance as an uncaring and chill guy.

Eridan rolled his eyes and gave him a wave. "hey."

Cronus slowly rolled his head to casually look at the Prince, and replied, "oh, vwell hi there. you just missed it, this chick im sort of friends vwith vwas totally all owver me, but this vweirdo vwith mental disabilities found us and she had to slap me so he didn't think vwe hawve something."

"i dont givve a shit you disgrace to fish trolls i nevver asked you," Eridan snapped.

"vwoah there cat, vwhy so tense?" He slid a hand into his jean pocket, and pulled out a small packet, flipping open the lid. "here." He took out a strange small stick from the packet, and held it out for Eridan to take, which he did.

"wwhat am i supposed to do wwith this? is it a wwand?"

Cronus laughed, "nah nah, you put it in your mouth."

Eridan complied. "noww wwhat?"

"novw nothing. just keep it in there and youll get all the guys and gals you vwant."

"then wwheres all the guys and girls huh?"

Cronus sighed, "look, you got to vwait for them to come to you. trust me, vworks ewvery time." He stopped dead in his tracks as they heard wheels grinding on the gravel opposite Eridan, and grabbed onto Eridan's scarf to calm his non-existent rage. "see, vwhat did i tell you? follovw my lead."

Eridan watched as two trolls approached, one boy and one girl, both wearing matching skin-tight suits only differentiated by color scheme. The girl wore the colour scheme of Teal, red, and black on her skinny body, with a pair of red glasses akin to Terezi's, though rectangular rather than pointy, and straight black hair. The boy meanwhile wore a scheme of yellow and black on his equally skinny body, teeth jutting out of his mouth and a large yellow helmet covering the top half of his face.

Cronus's calm and cool smile wavered a little, and the girl skid to a halt in front of the two. "h3y anc3stor dud3!" she exclaimed to Eridan, kicking up her board and catching it in her hand.

"uh yeah hey," Eridan replied, backing away from the overly ecstatic girl.

"dud3, m33n4h w4sn't ly1ng, you do look l1k3 cronus b4ck wh3n h3 w4s cool!" She started sizing him up by playing with his scarf and examining his clothes.

Cronus gasped loudly, "vwhat do you mean 'wh3n h3 w4s cool?'"

The girl twisted her attention to Cronus, her curious and happy smile molded into pure anger. "do you w4nt 4 r3p34t of b3for3, f1sh douch3? b3c4us3 i'm sur3 your 4nc3stor would LOV3 to s33 th4t!" Cronus backed down, and the girl returned to her original demeanour. "sorry 4bout th4t dud3, 1 just g3t 4 l1tt3 bumm3d wh3n c3rt41n h1gh bloods 1nsult my boy 4nd try to sol1c1t und3s3rv3d bl4ck f33l1ngs from h1m."

"thats an oddly specific annoyance," Eridan remarked, watching Cronus cross his arms and pout. "wwhat boy are you evven referrin to?"

"wh4t do you m34n?" she questioned him, gesturing behind her with her free hand. "my boyfr13nd m1t-" She gazed around but she saw no-one standing there, before looking down where the boy had apparently fallen trying to skid to a stop after her. "4w b4b3, why d1dn't you s4y som3th1ng?"

"1 5FUCK1NG F0RG07 1 7H3LL 4ND D1DN7 VW4N7 70 54Y 4NYF1N." The boy muffled out, his face still in the ground.

"oh, b4b3!" She crouched down and grabbed a hold of the boy, pulling him up by the armpits.

Cronus tapped Eridan on the shoulder, and whispered, "dont vworry about understanding him, hes been demented in the head ewver since he sawved us or something."

"i barely understand you wwith all your unsubtle pick-up lines. i mean christ people thought i wwas bad but i hit on like six people tops."

"th3r3 you go!" the girl exclaimed, calling the two Violet bloods attention. She turned to face the two, an arm wrapped around the boys waist. "so 4nyw4ys, n4m3's l4tul4 dud3, 4nd th1s 1s m1tun4. w3'r3 just 4 coupl3 of r4d sk4t3rs who sp3nd th31r t1m3 gr1nd1n' r41ls, dr1nk1ng 3n3rgy dr1nks, 4nd g1v1ng th3 b3st h1gh f1v3s th1s s1d3 of th3 dr34m bubbl3s. up top!"

"up the top of wwhere?" Eridan asked, before Latula lifted up his hand for him and gave it one of the worst slaps he'd ever gotten. The pain was sharp and instant, causing Eridan to yelp out in pain and fall to his knees, clutching his extremely bruised Violet hand.

"oh com3 on, th4t w4sn't 3v3n h4rd you wuss!" she laughed, watching Eridan quiver at the pain.

"howw the fuck wwas that not hard?" Eridan replied, his voice slightly cracking.

"H3H H3H F15H7H D0UCH35 4NC357H3R 15 45 MUCH 0VF 4 W34K455 45 F15H D0UCH3!"

"hey!" Cronus interrupted, grabbing onto Mituna's arm. "you better vwatch your mouth-"

He stopped dead in his tracks as the tip of a blade was pressed against his neck, causing him to give the aggressor, Latula, an unimpressed frown. "vwhat do you think youre doing doll?"

The girls' face twitched a little. "l3t go of h1m, b3for3 1 m4k3 you l3t go."

"vwhat are you going to do? DOU8LE kill me? id fucking vwelcome it."

"WHY5 H3 70UCH1NG M3?"

"just fuck1ng do 1t."

Cronus stared at her for a moment, before letting go of Mituna and returning to his original position against the wall, much angrier than before. Eridan had remained silent through the encounter, completely disregarding the pain of his hand. The girl sheathed her sword in a cane and placed it back in her strife deck, pulling her skateboard back out of her captchalog.

"4nyw4ys bro," she said casually, "1 w4s wond3r1ng wh3th3r you'v3 s33n tz 4nywh3r3? sh3 k1nd of d1ss4pp34r3d 4ft3r w3 m3t."

"i havvent seen her since wwe wwent to sleep," Eridan replied, standing up. "her matesprits probably around somewwhere; guy wwith black glasses red hood human."

"oh y34h! 1 s4w h1m b3for3. d1dn't know th3y w3r3 m4t3spr1ts though." She shrugged her shoulders. "w3ll 1'll ch3ck w1th th4t dud3 th3n." She made a gesture to his shoes. "1'm not sur3 1f you r34l1s3 4s w3ll, but you got th3 s4m3 sw33t k1cks th4t tz 4nd h3r boy d1d!"

"oh these?" Eridan asked, examining his shoes. "yeah davve alchemised them. i havvent wworn any other shoes since. havve you seen the wwheels?"

"wh33ls?" Latula replied quizzically.

"yeah like these." Eridan popped the wheels from his shoes like he'd practiced, and cautiously slid across the street, much to Latula and Mituna's amazement, and Cronus's annoyance.

As he approached back, the two skateboarders stared at him in amazement at the un-before-seen invention. "H0W 7H3 FVUCK 4R3 YOU MO1V1NG?"

"fuckin science is howw."

"holy sh1t! w3 gott4 g3t 4 p41r! com3 on b4b3!"

Latula threw her board to the ground, and quickly jumped aboard, sending her zooming across the street. Mituna attempted to follow suit, but instead fell face first as he attempted to do the same and sending his board flying across the road. He screamed, frustrated, jumped up and ran after his board and his girlfriend.

Eridan crossed his arms, and asked Cronus, "howw the fuck does she put up wwith him. she could do so much better." He swiveled his head to face Cronus. "you knoww wwhat i-" He found the spot empty, and looked around to find where his ancestor was, finding him down the road behind him walking away with his shoulders slumped. "hey!"

Cronus turned around, placing his hands in his pockets. "vwhat?" he snapped.

"wwhat the fuck wwe wwere talkin!"

"oh vwere vwe? vwhat a shame."

Eridan grunted, "wwhats your problem?"

"does it matter? no one giwves a shit."

"oh come on dont you dare givve me that bullshit!"

Cronus raised his arms aggressively. "and vwhy the fuck not? dont you do that all the fucking time? 'wwah wwah look at me ewveryone hates me because i killed someone,' doesnt that sound fucking familiar? i mean, for fucks sake, at least they hawve a reason to hate you!"

"wwhat? from wwhat ivve seen they havve evvery reason to hate you!"

Cronus rolled his eyes. "you dont understand vwhat its actually like, for no one to understand youre vwants and needs and just disregard ewvery action you take! its hard, and no one understands."

"oh my god. you really are like me but wwith evverything that evveryone hated about me multiplied into oblivvion!" Eridan pulled the stick from his mouth, and threw it down onto the pavement. "i wwas bad ill admit that but i wwas nevver near as bad as you!"

Cronus narrowed his eyes. "you vwant to knovw vwhat my problem is? youwve only been here in the bubbles for, vwhat? a year? and youwve already taken my friends from me. first it vwas aranea, then meenah from vwhat i savw, and now mituna and latula!"

"i didnt steal anyone! maybe if you wwerent some quadrant obsessed douche theyd like you more."

The Bard scoffed, and chuckled under his breath, "you dont ewven realize hovw hypocritical you are. vwhatewver, i dont care."

The Bard turned back, and began walking away from the Prince. "wwhere are you goin?" Eridan yelled after him.

"to kill myself, seems like thats all im good for!"

Eridan groaned, "fine wwhatevver! see if anyone cares!" He watched as his dancestor walked off, and mumbled a curse beneath his breath, proceeding to walk as far away from the douche as he could.


	22. Eridan: Convverse With Knight

**Prince of Heart- Completely forgot that the entirety of mini-strife was actually just a fan-fiction written by Calliope, and I'd rather not go all Inception up in this bitch, so there that goes. Sad reacts only please.**

A short amount of unknown time passed since that conversation, and Eridan had found himself shelter in an alcove nearby. He'd been thinking about the conversation with his dancestor, and how the ancestor he'd idolised from such an early age turned out to be the biggest raving douche he'd ever met; and that was a hard feat to manage. He felt like doing something to get his mind off the disappointment, so he crossed his legs and pulled open the Trollian app in his glasses, scrolling down to his Teal blooded contact.

caliginousAquarium (CA) began Trolling gallowsCalibrator (GA)

CA: hey ter  
CA: so i just had somethin of a  
CA: wwell  
CA: convversation doesnt evven begin to covver it  
CA: wwe may havve been too hasty in idolisin our ancestors  
CA: at least i may havve im not sure wwhether you gavve a shit about yours  
CA: wwell maybe the exception bein vvris ancestor  
CA: all she does is tell cool stories  
CA: plus shes much nicer than vvris as wwell  
CA: and betwwenn you and me  
CA: shes really quite pretty  
CA: dont tell that to anyone though im pretty sure shes in a matespritship already wwith that meenah chick  
CA: though dont take my wword for it  
CA: wwhat wwas my point again  
CA: oh right  
CA: so i dont really wwant to talk to my ancestor anymore  
CA: its like he has no redeemable qualities whatsoevver  
CA: meanwwhile your ancestor seemed pretty alright  
CA: she came off a little as tryin too hard  
CA: and she is wway out of the league of her boyfriend  
CA: that guys a wwhole different story  
CA: damn im goin off the fuckin rails here  
CA: maybe i havve been spendin too much time with ara  
CA: ara means aranea by the wway  
CA: either that or kars been influencin me evven though he nevver speaks to anyone in our group anymore  
CA: wwe should probably start talkin to him again i kinda miss him  
GA: OH MY GOD, W1LL YOU SHUT TH3 FUCK UP!  
GA: 1 DONT G1V3 4 SH1T 4BOUT YOUR PROBL3MS  
GA: 1'M K1ND OF FR34K1NG OUT R1GHT NOW  
GA: FOR ON3, MY BOYFR13ND 1S T4LK1NG TO TH3 S33M1NGLY BOTTOML3SS P1T OF COOL TH4T 1S MY 4NC3STOR  
GA: GOD, WH4T 4R3 TH3Y 3V3N T4LK1NG 4BOUT?  
GA: HOW LONG UNT1L H3 ST4RTS SL33P1NG W1TH H3R 1 WOND3R?  
GA: 1 WOULDN'T B3 SURPR1S3D  
CA: wwoah wwheres this comin from  
CA: im pretty sure the beds on the meteor arent big enough for twwo  
CA: and shes a ghost do they evven need to sleep  
GA: GOD D4MN 1T, YOU'R3 SOUND1NG L1K3 D4V3 NOW 4ND TH4T 1S TH3 L4ST TH1NG 1 N33D!  
GA: 4ND HOW DO YOU NOT UND3RST4ND 3UPH3M1SMS Y3T?  
GA: L1K3 FUCK DUD3  
CA: eupha wwhat  
GA: 4ND TH3N I'V3 GOT YOUR K1SM3S1S 4LL UP 1N MY BUS1N3SS  
GA: FUCK 3V3RYTH1NGS F4LL1NG 4P4RT 3R1D4N  
GA: 4ND 1'M FR34K1NG TH3 FUCK OUT!  
GA: SO PL34S3 3R1D4N  
GA: 1 DON'T W4NT TO L1ST3N TO YOUR PROBL3MS  
GA: 1 GOT TO S33 SOM3ON3 4BOUT MY 3Y3S

gallowsCalibrator (GA) ceased Trolling caliginousAquarium (CA)

Eridan watched the port close, and silently chuckled to himself about the last line Terezi sent him. He thought about what she said though; what did she mean by his Kismesis all up in her business? Why would Dave sleep in a bed with a ghost? DO ghosts need sleep? So many questions from a little, unenlightened Prince.

"HEYA," he heard Karkat say, looking up to see the Knight near the entrance to the alcove, standing over him.

"oh uh hey," he reluctantly said, examining the Candy-blood. "this is the you from my univverse right?"

"YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT." He gestured to the wall across from Eridan. "YOU MIND DUDE?"

Eridan shook his head. "go ahead."

Karkat nodded once in response, and sat himself down across from Eridan, leaning on the wall with his head tilted back. "SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE HANGING OUT WITH YOUR ANCESTOR, TRYING TO GET TO KNOW THE GUY YOU IDOLIZED LIKE HE WAS WHAT THE HUMAN'S REFER TO AS, 'JEGUS' OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY SAID. WAIT, WAS JEGUS EVEN A JOKE, OR WERE THEY SERIOUS? I COMPLETELY FORGOT NOW."

Eridan sighed, "eh he didnt turn out to be that awwesome. he wwas just kind of a prissy douche wwith no sense of personal boundaries."

"SO A WORSE VERSION OF YOU?"

"yeah i guess."

"DUDE, DON'T GET TOO DOWN ON YOURSELF. NONE OF THESE ANCESTORS SEEMED TO BE THE HOT SHIT EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE. WHICH I FUCKING *CALLED* BY THE WAY." Karkat tilted his head back down to look at Eridan, and gave him a reassuring smile. "BUT TRUST ME, DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD BRO. NO-ONE COULD HAVE KNOWN HOW BORING, AND POINTLESS, AND HYPOCRITICAL, AND RANTING, AND BORING, AN- WAIT DID I SAY BORING TWICE? FUCK, I HATE THAT GUY SO MUCH, MUCH MORE THAN I HATE EVEN MYSELF."

"technically he is you according to ara," Eridan added.

"FUCK, THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" he groaned, banging his head against the wall once. He sighed, looked back towards Eridan, and raised an eyebrow. "SO, ARA, HUH?" he questioned curiously.

"yeah wwhat about her?"

"WHAT'S THE GO WITH HER? YOU TWO SEEM TO BE GETTING ALONG."

Eridan shrugged. "i don't knoww wwhere shes goin i assume to another dream bubble."

Karkat rolled his eyes and chuckled, "NO, I MEANT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE A MOVE ON HER."

Eridan felt his face heat up, and blushed a deep violet. "howw the hell do you evven knoww i like her?" His voice slightly cracked out of panic.

"COME ON DUDE, REMEMBER HOW MUCH WE TALKED ABOUT QUADRANTS BACK BEFORE…" he thought about his words for a second, trying to think of how to refer to Eridan's attempted murder spree, "…THE INCIDENT. A LOT OF PEOPLE MIGHT NOT REALIZE, BUT YOU DO HAVE A TYPE, WHEN IT COMES TO MATESPRITSHIPS AT LEAST. YOU LIKE TROLLS WITH A COMPLEMENTARY PERSONALITY TO YOU. YOU LIKE TROLLS WHO ARE NICE, FRIENDLY, EASY TO GET ALONG WITH. IT'S WHY YOU DEVELOPED A CRUSH ON FEFERI, AND *DESPITE* ALL YOUR CLAIMS OF WANTING TO KILL ALL LOW-BLOODED LAND DWELLERS, CRUSHED ON NEPETA AS WELL. BOTH NICE GIRLS, BOTH FRIENDLY TOWARDS YOU."

"but wwhat about you?" Eridan asked, before realising what he had just said. "wwait."

"DUDE, COME ON, DID YOU EVER REALLY CRUSH ON ME?"

Eridan raised a finger to answer, "i…" he retracted his finger, proceeding to wrap his arms around his legs. "i think i did?"

"HELL, THE SAME COULD BE SAID ABOUT NEPETA. YOU JUST WANTED SOMEONE THAT COULD STAND YOU, AND CALLED IT A RED CRUSH. BUT THE TRUTH IS, YOU COULD NEVER GET OVER FEFERI, AND YOU TRIED ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO GET OVER HER, INCLUDING TRICKING YOURSELF INTO LIKING OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WERE HOPELESS, AS RETARDED AS THAT SOUNDS. AND NOW THERE'S A GIRL THAT COMES ALONG, WHO SEEMS TO BE SOME SORT OF HYBRID OF BOTH VRISKA AND FEFERI, AND YOU'VE GENUINELY GOT RED FEELINGS TOWARDS HER. SHE'S YOUR DREAM MATESPRIT, AND YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW SHE'S PERFECT FOR YOU?"

"because i havvent murdered her?" Eridan reluctantly answered.

"NO, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T HITTING ON HER IN *SPITE* OF THE FACT THAT SHE LIKES YOU. THAT'S HOW I KNOW." Karkat gave him a smile, which Eridan happily returned, before placing his attention directly up, looking at the visible top of the dream bubble. Karkat thought for a second, before speaking up again. "I DON'T HATE YOU, YOU KNOW. NOT ANYMORE AT LEAST."

"but wwhy?" Eridan demanded, confused. "wwhat did i evven do to earn your forgivveness?"

"WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FORGIVENESS? I JUST DON'T DESPISE YOU ANYMORE. YOU'RE LIKE, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON NOT EITHER IN A MATESPRITSHIP OR UMMING AND AHHING ABOUT WHETHER THEIR GOING TO GET UP IN EACH OTHERS NOOKS AS WELL. WE CAN GO BACK TO THE OLD DAYS, I ACTUALLY LIKED SHIT-TALKING OTHER PEOPLE WITH YOU."

Eridan chuckled, "i think id like that."

Karkat nodded, standing up. "WELL, ANOTHER TIME THOUGH. I BETTER RUN BEFORE THAT FEFERI WANNABE CATCHES UP-"

"hey its shouty mcnubs!" The two heard Meenah shout from down the street. Karkat looked to where the sound had come from, a street corner with easy view of the alcove they were in, and slid his hand down his face in frustration.

"GUESS THAT'S MY CUE. SEE YOU BRO." He gave Eridan a wave, and briskly walked away from the cockney sounded Thief.

"H-EY dont go cmon!" Eridan watched her jog down the street after the Knight, completely ignoring the Prince. "waters a girl gotta do to attract shouty hot dudes in this joint?"

Eridan gazed around the corner, waiting for the two to disappear, before getting up himself and finding his way somewhere else.


	23. Eridan: Ascend

**Prince of Heart- Send help, I've been listening to Eridan's theme for the past week. Did any of you know it has _lyrics_? **

**Also dream bubbles are pretty neat.**

Eridan had just kept walking for a long while, losing track of the time long ago when he'd passed from memory to memory. It was astonishing to the Prince how he could walk just a few dozen blocks and end up in a completely different area, allowing him to catch a glimpse into the lives of his friends. He'd passed three areas on his way to wherever the fuck; a land full of literal brains, blood, and beaches which seemed to be some sort of hybrid memory, a large tree-house in a green, lush forest, and a copy of Nepeta's land where he'd thought he'd meet the Rogue of Heart again, but alas couldn't find her for the life of him. Now, he'd wandered into what he vaguely recognized as a copy of Sollux's land, which he'd only visited once during the game to duel the yellow-blooded Mage.

He'd remembered the event quite well; jealous of the Mage stealing the love of his life, he journeyed to the place through various portals with his legendary weapon in tow. He thought if he could prove his strength through battle, he might win the affection of Feferi, as cliché as that sounded looking back on it. Well, that might've been only one reason; his pure and untethered hatred for low-blooded land dwellers did nothing to stem his anger towards Sollux. After so much time, he finally got his chance, but to his displeasure the battle ended on a stalemate, and he had to limp back on to his lonely planet and take his wrath out on those damn angels. He just wanted one win, something that'd make him feel better, but he was never given one. The universe enjoyed completely screwing him over time after time, it seemed.

"hi eridan!" a voice spoke up, giving the unaware Prince a shock. He jumped back, a solid yelp filling the air around him, and he stared down at the source. On the edge of the ruined building Eridan was standing on sat Aradia Megido, the Burgundy-blooded Maid of Time. She had her usual red God Tier outfit on, covering most of her curvaceous figure, with her red wings spread out behind her. She was slowly kicking her legs whilst leaning back on her arms, looking up at Eridan by leaning her head back.

Eridan scoffed, and dusted himself off. "hey. forgot you evven existed…" He hesitated a moment, forgetting the girls name.

"aradia!" she reminded him politely. "i wouldnt expect you to remember anyway. how often did we even talk?"

"twwice i think," Eridan remembered, "once wwhen kar introduced us and another wwhen you and sol blasted us into fuck knowws wwhere."

"oh yeah!" She raised her eyebrows. "we really shouldve talked more."

"wwe nevver had reason to. wwhy the hell wwould i talk to someone so loww on the spectrum?"

The Maid patted a spot beside her lightly. "well we need to fix that dont we? cmon."

Eridan thought for a moment, gazing to the pathway to the next memory, before shrugging his shoulders and complying. Using one hand to steady himself on Aradia's shoulder, he climbed down and sat with his legs idling over the edge of the building. He gazed downwards, noticing a bunch of flashing lights colliding below the two, before turning his attention to Aradia.

"so howw havve things been?" he questioned her.

"eh you know how it is. guiding doomed versions of our friends into the bubbles hanging out with all our dead alpha timeline friends trying to be a good moirail to sollux."

"i… i really don't knoww howw that is. and i thought you and sollux dated once? wwhy dowwngrade to a moirailegiance?"

The girl shrugged her shoulders. "i thought about it but i went against it. i think id rather stay out of serious relationships. FOREVER!" She raised her arms enthusiastically, and fell backwards so she laid down, looking up at the dark red sky. Eridan narrowed his eyes, because while he'd barely spoken to her, he'd never seen her act this weirdly enthusiastic and blissfully. She'd just seemed so down to earth and collected, and he'd always held a grudging respect for her, in spite of her having the lowest blood there was.

He heard shouting from below, and the girl shot back up. "its happening!"

"wwhats happenin?" Eridan replied curiously, before one of Aradia's hands wrapped around Eridan's neck, while the other covered his mouth to shut him up.

"shhhhhh shut up shut up!" Eridan scrunched up his face, but watched on to the sight below.

The lights faded, and two figures jumped back from what seemed to be a battle, and they slid a few yards apart. One, Eridan saw, was the mustard-blooded swine that he so hated, holding his glasses in his hand and huffing heavily, and the other was the Prince himself, gripping his Ahab's Crosshairs in his hands. A strand of hair fell down onto face, and he flicked his head back to get it out of his way, though unsuccessfully.

"for god2 2ake dude, ju2t givve up!" Sollux yelled, his eyes sparking with electricity. "2he ii2 over you! why can't you ju2t accept iit and move the fuck on liike 2he diid?"

"this has nothin to do wwith her!" Eridan replied. "this is betwween you and me mage."

"what ii2 actually wrong wiith you? did your lu2u2 not giive you enough love or somethiing?"

"oh im sorry did your matesprit not givve you enough lovve when you blasted her into oblivvion?"

Sollux slowly formed a look of pure anger on his face, and a series of red and blue sparks formed around the Mage. Eridan raised his gun and fired, a large laser sprouting from the tip, but Sollux countered it by shooting a flashing beam from his eyes. The beams collided, but Eridan's hardly compared to the rage fuelled Mage's, and his was blasted all the way back. The brunt of the force hit him hard, and he was sent flying backwards, hitting a stone wall hard and falling to the ground.

Sollux calmed himself, and placed his glasses back on his face. "there," he said, "iit'2 fiinii2hed. now you goiing two leave me alone?"

No response came from the unmoving body.

"come on dude, thi2 ii2n't cool. don't act all prii22y ju2t becau2e ii beat you."

Still no response, so Sollux began to make his way to the Prince.

"come on, iit ii2n't funny," the Mage mentioned cautiously, crouching down to touch Eridan's body. "ju2t get up and-" He stopped dead when he laid two fingers on Eridan's neck, and pushed his head down to listen to his chest, but recoiled in shock. He looked around the area, and pulled out his portable headset.

Alpha Eridan watched on, confused, and removed Aradia's hand from his mouth. "wwhat is this? wwhat happened?"

"you died," the Maid replied. "dont you see?"

"but i didnt. im sittin here arent i?"

"well this isnt you. i come to the bubbles to lead the doomed versions of ourselves to a better death. helps with the confusion."

"that sounds really fuckin depressin," Eridan remarked. "dont you get sad seein all your friends dead?"

She shrugged her free shoulder, her other arm still wrapped around Eridan. "eh! if anything it makes me feel better! i mean i was the lucky one. i lived. how could you not enjoy that?"

"cause it's a miserable existence. wwhat the fuck is it evven good for? wwere on our wway to a battle against a possibly invvincible force and i dont knoww if wwe can wwin. wwere wwe really so lucky?"

Aradia groaned, "ahhh stop being so pessimistic! i was dead myself once and its not as good as you think it is. it gets boring and you realise nothing was worth anything and you regret that you never did more with your life! youre scared i know that but it gets better. it always gets better. youll win the battle and enter the new universe and youll feel content! just like i feel content doing what im doing."

"i guess," Eridan sighed, slumping his shoulders. "i just get the feelin like i should havve died a long time ago you knoww?"

"yeah i think i do." She pursed her red coloured lips, and the landscape suddenly changed before the twos' eyes. "oh damn it were missing it!"

"wwhy wwhats he doin?"

"just watch."

And Eridan did, turning his attention to the new scene in front of him. The two now found themselves on a completely intact building, something not unlike a church, with an almost blinding white light surrounding them. Eridan noticed multiple floating figures around him, as well as the solid grey concrete ground below them, and immediately recognised the place: his planet of the Land of Wrath and Angels. Down below, Sollux had Eridan in his arms, struggling to keep him up as they approached a strange stone slap with Eridan's Hope symbol on it and several poles around it. Sollux eventually got to the slab, and laid Eridan down on it. The Mage seemed… genuinely concerned for reasons unknown.

Alpha Eridan stared at him from above for a few moments, before Aradia spoke up. "i dont think he wanted to kill you before you snapped you know. if he did he could have done it when you dueled him here."

Eridan scoffed, "oh please wwhat a load of shit. i could havve defeated him wwith my eyes closed."

"then why didnt you?"

"because i uh i needed the energy to kill more angels. a loww blood like him wwasnt wworth the ammo."

"i mean if you say so. im just telling you that he never wanted to kill you for whatever thats worth."

"wwell its not wworth a wwhole lot," Eridan snapped, crossing his arms and resuming the view of the memory in front of him.

Sollux slowly stepped away from the body, as a swarm of butterflies descended upon the scene, covering Eridan's dead body, the totem poles around him, and Sollux. A few even flew over and covered alpha Eridan and Aradia, allowing Eridan to take in the beauty of their blue and yellow swirly wings. More and more covered the doomed Eridan, and a blinding bright light appeared above them on the planet of Skaia.

On the Land of Quartz and Melody, the ghost smooch-bot Maid of Time sat defeated on a beautiful shining hill, a soft song humming in the air. She glanced up at the sight of Skaia as butterflies descend upon her, and thanked whatever God there is that somebody now knows what it's like to die like she did.

On the Land of Sand and Zephyr, the Page of Breath sat tired after a day of adventuring with his kinda-sorta friend, sprawled on a chair inside his hive. He looked outside his window, at the butterflies fluttering around, and a look of amazement crawls onto his face.

On the Land of Wrath and Angels, the formerly concerned Mage of Doom recoiled at the sight on Skaia, confused as he was told that the Prince would be revived from this, yet he still lay lifeless on the slab of stone in front of him.

On the Land of Pulse and Haze, the confused Knight of Blood looks up from his computer, relieved that the Mage actually went through with the process. He had low hopes, as it was unknown to hi if it was just a rumor that this would happen, but he was glad it actually worked. He smiles ear to ear, as the Derse agent Jack Noir scowls at the myriad of butterflies clutching to him.

On the Land of Little Cubes and Tea, the little Rogue of Heart sits with her hands wrapped around her legs, her mouth wide open in amazement as she dug her feet into the soft sugar in the ground and butterflies landed all around her.

On the Land of Rays and Frogs, a fashionable Sylph of Space clutched a cluster of frogs to her chest, sopping wet from her dive into the ocean to receive said frogs. She dropped them in concern, causing a cluster of butterflies to flutter off, the situation a complete wonder to her creative mind.

On the Land of Thought and Flow, a curious Seer of Mind peeked through the sky of her planet, smelling the bright rays of Hope with her keen nose. She also noticed the scent of butterflies around her, and she smiled thoughtfully.

On the Land of Maps and Treasure, a cocky Thief of Light sifted through a large chest to plunder the loot within, but stops when a group of butterflies swarm around her back. She looked backwards and up onto Skaia wonderment crawling onto her face.

On the Land of Caves and Silence, the mysterious Heir of Void took a few steps outside his hive, a fresh glass of milk in his hand. He got so encapsulated by the sight and insects around him, he didn't notice the glass he was holding break into a million shards, and he spilled the cold liquid on himself.

On the Land of Tents and Mirth, the calm and definitely not murderous Bard of Rage shoved another handful of sopor slime into his mouth, though his continuous gaping at the bright light and tiny butterflies caused it to fall back out. He mumbled 'mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs' under his breath in amazement.

On the Land of Dew and Glass, the enthusiastic Witch of Light placed her face up against the glass surrounding her, her steady breaths fogging up the glass in front of her. She rubbed the glass with her skinny arm, a process she had done a few times so far, and went in to complete the cycle again.

Alpha Eridan watched the beam of light, a small silhouette appearing amidst it. Then suddenly, the memory ceases, the scene seemingly pausing like a movie, and Eridan noticed his doomed self down below slowly getting up and looking around the area.

"wwhat wwas that?" Eridan finally managed to whisper out, his voice low in amazement.

"you ascended," Aradia replied. "pretty neat huh?"

"but howw the fuck did that happen? wwhat evven happened?"

Aradia laughed, "eridan not everything needs to be explained away with reasoning and logic. i mean no one can explain much of what happened in the game and especially how these bubbles work!"

"but there has to be a reason to evverythin right? itd be borderline retarded if there wwas none."

"maybe. or maybe its just a little…" she turned her head to look at Eridan, a toothy smile on her face, "…magic!"

Eridan opened his mouth to refute the statement, but found himself at a loss for words. Instead, he crossed his arms angrily and blew a gust of air out his nose.

"can i just fuckin wwake up already?" he asked her.

"if you insist!"

And suddenly, the girl raised her fist and balled Eridan across the face.


	24. Intermission: Christmas

**Prince of Heart- Merry X-mas folks from your aro author.**

 **Five months ago- Christmas day?**

Eridan examined the fauna in front of him, a large, green tree that Rose had recently alchemised for a strange human holiday she liked to call 'Christmas.' Sounded like a cheap knockoff of twelfth perigee's eve to Eridan at the time, which he never even celebrated unless Feferi came to his house and forced him to. He always thought the holiday was for wrigglers, a made up day where child trolls would give each other presents and their lusi would get them an especially succulent meal, if you were a low blood that is. Eridan never really did anything those days, Feferi would come over with a gift, which made him feel terrible since he never got her anything out of his stubborn hatred of the holiday, and the two would just sit together at the beach and talk, occasionally the Purple-blooded clown coming by to hang out with them.

Rose attempted to reach up and put a bauble on the top layer of the tree, but even on her toes she couldn't reach it. The tree was already heavily decorated with various bits and pieces: several baubles already hung, a few lengths of tinsel wrapped around the tree, and various cards each addressed to people on the meteor. Even the mayor had come out to help, placing cans in-between the branches and occasionally munching on the delicious green branches. The Seer fell back to the soles of her shoes, placed her hands on her hips and sighed. She glanced over to Kanaya, whom was finishing up placing another card for Dave at a table nearby, and sighed slightly louder to get her attention, to no avail.

She took a deep breath, and exclaimed, "It sure would be nice if some fashion minded troll who happens to be taller than me would come over and help!"

Kanaya perked her head up, and looked around the room, proceeding to point at herself in confusion. Rose smiled, and nodded at her with confirmation. The Sylph placed her pen down, her message only half completed, and got up to help Rose place the bauble up.

"so wwhat evven happens noww?" Eridan asked, pricking his hands on the sharp branches of the plastic tree.

"What do you mean, 'wwhat happens?'" Rose questioned, handing the bauble off to Kanaya.

"like wwhat do wwe do for this ridiculous holiday? are wwe supposed to burn dowwn the tree or somethin?"

"Of course not!" Rose chuckled. "When Christmas does roll around, which is kind of hard to tell admittedly what with time and space being all relative to our personal views rather than a standardised stream, we'll give each other gifts not unlike you do on Twelfth Perigrees Eve." She turned her head to face Kanaya. "Am I right about that?"

"That Is The Gist Of It Yes," Kanaya replied, pinning the bauble on a spot near the top of the tree.

"i dont evven celebrate perigrees evve," Eridan told her. "its a made up holiday to make loww bloods feel not as lonely."

"Well I don't really celebrate Christmas either, I'm not even a Christian. I just think it's a lot of fun to decorate a tree and get free stuff."

Eridan groaned, "i hope you dont expect anythin from me wwitch. id rather die than givve somethin awway for free."

"How very capitalist of you, Eridan. I'm not the one that came up with the idea to celebrate Christmas. Dave holds that trophy. Where the heck is he anyway?"

"He Is Up In His Room," Kanaya mentioned, "Terezi Insisted On Speaking To Him About Something."

"Are you serious? Those two are inseparable ever since they officially started dating a few months ago. And where the hell is Karkat? He barely comes around ever since that dream bubble with those two troll girls."

Kanaya shrugged. "Im Sure Hes Somewhere Around Here He Just Needs Some Time. Weve Still Got Under Two Sweeps Until We Enter The New Session Right? Hes Probably Just Training. You Know How He Is."

"You don't seem too worried about him?"

"Oh I Know Him Best. He Just Tends To Do Things Like This When He Doesnt Feel Adequate Enough."

Rose rolled her eyes and made her way to the door. "Well I'm going to get Dave, he should at least help us."

Eridan watched as she exited, his attention turning to Kanaya, whom looked back at him unimpressed. He waved nervously, before hopping up and rushing after Rose. He eventually caught up with her, a smile and a nod acknowledging his existence, and the two walked together to Dave's room. Eridan had traversed this meteor a many times since their journey started, either out of boredom or on one of his workout routines with Terezi, but the cold metallic feeling never escaped him. He felt so lonely when he walked the corridors, even with other people, but he never could place his finger on it. Maybe it was the absence of the rest of his… companions. There were twelve kids that escaped on the meteor, and now only four of them remained, not counting the humans. And he still couldn't shake the feeling like he just shouldn't be alive right now, not out of relief, but rather because he didn't deserve to live.

"Here we are," Rose said, snapping him out of his stupor. Eridan glanced up at the metal door, a t-shirt planted on a rack just beside the door and above the electronic lock. Rose input a short code, and the door slid open with a soft whooshing sound.

Rose poked her head around the corner and into the room, and whispered, "Oh, well what's going on here?"

"you know knocking was a great invention right?" Eridan heard Dave say from inside the room. He slowly walked up to the door and glanced in, at first noticing Terezi on the bed at the corner of the room, only dressed in a pair of boxers and a small bra with most of her grey, thin figure showing, her clothes strewn about beside the bed. He only noticed Dave, likewise scantily clad in a pair of woollen boxers baring his extremely pale and slightly scarred skin and skinny body, when he pushed himself up with his forearms.

"You know helping us out was an equally great invention, right?" Rose replied, crossing her arms.

"well i wouldve trust me. i was all like 'hey i oughta go help out with christmas decorations itd be really douchey if i let a couple of trolls and a jewish born girl set it up' but then tz took her shirt off and i thought 'hey cthulu chick fish boy and vampire girl all got this handled.'

"Oh I'm sorry your majesty, I'm really glad you can multi-task by disappointing two girls at once!"

Dave furrowed his brows. "dont act all high and mighty if vampire chick took her shirt off for you youd be slobbering all over miss glow in the dark."

"I might, I might not." She flashed Dave a cheeky smile. "It is interesting to see Terezi in boxers though, I always imagined you girls wore lingerie the same colour as your blood."

"wait what? you fantasising about my girlfriend?"

"D4V3, SH3'S JUST B31NG CUR1OUS!" Terezi added. "1 M34N, 1'D B3 GL4D TO T34CH H3R 4BOUT TROLL B1OLOGY THROUGH MOR3 1NT1M4T3 M3THODS."

Terezi bore a toothy and mischievous smile, and Eridan could've sworn he saw Dave's naked eye twitch a little. Dave looked back over at the two.

"alright what the fuck do you want me to do to get you out of here?"

"Just get into the Christmas mood a little, you know?"

Dave sighed, and lightly pushed Terezi off of him, jumping up to his feet in a flash. He took a step over his clothes, walking over to the other side of the room where a closet was situated. He smashed his fist on the button to open it, reached in, and grabbed a couple of shoe boxes from the pile of clothes in it. He then proceeded to Eridan and Rose, holding the boxes behind his back.

"first is fish boy since he doesnt complain about me showing the appropriate amount of give a shit about my gf." He held out the box, which Eridan took reluctantly. "dont tell tz i want to john it up by pranking her hard."

Eridan narrowed his eyes, and slowly opened the lid of the box, revealing a pair of black sneakers about Eridan's size. "wwhat the fuck is this?" Eridan asked.

"those my aquatic hipster bro are heelys. you wear them then click out the wheels and zoom around. bet you wish you had a pair of these when you killed your ex so you could escape vampire lady huh?" He elbowed Eridan a few times playfully, much to Eridan's annoyance.

Dave turned his attention to Rose. "and what would you like for christmas little girl?"

"To un-see my brother in his underwear," Rose replied coldly.

"well thats too bad cos youre getting black make-up," he told her, handing her the box.

She chuckled slightly. "Thank you, it's a good second."

"good great fucking a. you know what a great early present for me would be? getting the hell out of my room."

Rose rolled her eyes, and grabbed Eridan's shoulder. "Alright, we're gone. Come on Eridan."

Eridan placed the lid back on the box of his new pair of shoes. He had to admit: wheels in shoes sounded pretty freaking awesome.


	25. The Prince of Void

**Prince of Heart- In this chapter Dave teaches us a valuable lesson about love. Also: Eridan ruins a nice dress. Like seriously, that was a sweet fucking dress.**

Eridan groaned as he awoke, rubbing his head and staring at the barren metal ceiling above him to gain his bearings. The soft cloth that he had to sleep on as a poor excuse for a recuperacoon ruffled as he turned his head to focus on his single light bulb that hung from the ceiling. Eventually he got adjusted to the sight, and sat up slowly, still holding his head. His room was still quite barren, despite the fact the group had been on the meteor for two years now; only a couple of shelfs with random bits and bobs on them, the aforementioned cloth that he slept on, and a small closet that held various iterations of his same outfit. Eridan sighed and stood up, stretching out his arms and yawning, before proceeding over to his closet to put on some clothes.

Exiting the room, he smacked his lips once and made his way to the library, where he at least knew Rose would be hanging out. Once there, he searched through the filled bookcases to find the Seer, whom he spotted at a large table in the middle of the room sitting across from Dave of all people. She had a beverage in her hand and, to his surprise, was wearing a fairly formal orange dress, flowy at the bottom while showing a little cleavage at the top, and sat facing away from the table. Meanwhile, Dave had a set-up of electronic equipment laid in front of him, silently mumbling things into a microphone before shaking his head and seemingly scolding himself.

Rose took a sip from her beverage, before noticing Eridan and giving him a smile. "Well look who finally woke up!"

Eridan slid his hand through his messy hair, and replied, "wwell i wwish i didnt havve to hurt myself to wwake up. it gets fuckin annoying and i get a destructivve headache."

"Oh, well ain't that somethang?" Rose said in a strange accent she didn't usually speak in.

"wwhat wwhy did you do that?" Eridan asked, confused.

"Why did I what do?"

"wwhat the fuck is happenin are you off your fuckin glands?"

"Nah, I'm fine!" Rose insisted, attempting to grab his arm unsuccessfully.

"youre actin strange rose its wweirdin me the fuck out." He took the glass from her hand and sniffed the liquid, recoiling away in disgust. "wwhat is this stuff anywway?"

"That, my friend, is happiness in a cup." She grabbed the drink back, some of it sloshing onto Eridan's shirt. "I was alchemising shiz earlier and I was like, 'fuggit, I'll make some booze and cut loose a little.'"

"wwhat? wwhat the hell is booze?"

"Ya know, alcohol. Stuff that gets you intoxicated."

"like wwine?" Eridan asked, prompting a hearty laugh from Rose.

The Seer wiped a tear from her eye. "Sure, sure. Except this is the real stuff; I've only had one glass and I already feel kinda tipsy! I thought you were a pirate, why would you drink wine and not whiskey?"

"cause wwhiskey tastes fuckin disgustin and i dont need that shit if im goin to scourge the high seas."

"Pfft, whatever you say chump."

Eridan looked annoyed at Rose, narrowing his eyes. "youre kinda mean wwhen youre like this its pretty…" Eridan's face lit up, "…cool. wwhat evven prompted you to start this behavviour?"

Rose shrugged. "I dunno, I was thinking about hanging out with Kanaya later and I got weirdly nervous, so I made some booze to take the edge off."

"wwait," Eridan stopped her, "youre finally goin on a date wwith kan?"

"Weeell, I don't know if it's a date per se, just the two of us talking 'bout life and having fun with just the company of… each… other. Oh my God," Rose realised, "I guess it is a date. Fuck, all the more reason!"

She took another sip of her drink, and Eridan scowled. "i dont think you should be like this on a date with kan it seems kind of wwrong."

"Nah, it's fine, I don't need you worrying about me."

"i really dont wwant you to ruin any chance you havve wwith her," Eridan insisted. "i wont let you."

"Oh yeah?" Rose mocked. "Well what are you going to do about it?"

She raised the glass to her mouth, and in one swift movement, Eridan brang his hand down and smacked the drink from her hand, making the liquid spill out all over her dress and the glass clink to the floor, still intact. Rose held out her hand as if she were still holding her drink, and slowly glared up at Eridan with her mouth slightly open in shock.

She eventually stammered out, "Why?"

"because i wwill not let you ruin your relationship wwith kan!" Eridan replied.

"And this was your best solution, huh?"

"holy shit!" Dave exclaimed, placing his headphones down. "are we having a makeshift wet tshirt contest?"

"Dave no I-"

"nope dont try and trick me cthulu chick ill show you how a pro fucking does it!" He looked around the room, searching for a source of water. "fuck where do we keep the not fuck buckets around here? nice lingerie by the way your dress is ridiculously transparent."

Rose rolled her eyes and sighed angrily, "Yes, I realise that Dave. It's taking all I have not to strangle the culprit right now." The Seer stood out, keeping her arms outstretched to keep them dry. "I'm going to find a towel or so-"

"Whats Going On Here?" Kanaya asked, entering the library, surprisingly no longer glowing white.

"Oh, Kanaya," Rose said, surprised. "I'm sorry for alarming you, but we had a bit of a…" she glared at Eridan, "…situation."

Kanaya examined her up and down, before pointing a finger at her and mentioning, "Are You Aware That Your Dress Is Awfully Moist?"

"Yes, but please don't use that word. Look, we may have to put off the date for another time."

"Oh!" Kanaya realised. "So This Solicitation Was A Date? Well That Is Nonsense I Can Help You Out Of That Dress And Into Something Else."

"Are… are you sure about that?"

"Completely. It May Not Be An Ideal First Date But We Could Still Have Fun!"

Rose looked at the excited Sylph, and said matter-as-factly, "You want to dress me up in various clothes, don't you?" Kanaya nodded happily. "Well, fuck it, why not?"

Kanaya clapped her hands once. "If It Makes You Feel Better I Would Be More Than Happy To Take My Clothes Off As Well."

"Oh," Rose let out, blushing and wrapping her arm around the Sylphs'. "Well, if you insist!"

The two disappeared into the door near the table, and Dave let out an impressed whistle. "damn dude youre like a fucking matchmaker extraordinaire who doesnt even realise how many babies are getting made because of him."

"babies?" Eridan questioned.

"or wrigglers i guess. those two are about to get down and god damn dirty do the dew but there aint any mediocre soft drinks associated with pro gaming in this session only damn passionate vampire x goth chick mating. theyre going to spit a troll human hybrid out and you better be damn sure were going to be there with a shotgun to put that freak of nature out of its misery. might even be doing the ugly bastard a favor."

"wwhat the fuck are you on about?!" Eridan exclaimed.

"dude the basic is that those two are skyrocketing to fifteenth base."

"fifteenth base?"

"oh shit you dont know about the bases? then sit the fuck down because im about to school yo ass."

"please dont," Eridan annoyingly pleaded, "i dont think anyone wwants to hear this bullshit."

"so," Dave began, prompting a groan from Eridan, "when it comes to love and quadrants and whatever the fuck there are fifteen levels that you take the relationship. first base is holding hands a true expression of love. third base is hugging. seventh base and forgive me if it send chills down your damn spine is kissing. for five seconds." The Knight mocked a shiver. "shits way too saucy for your innocent mind. tenth base is groping. twelfth is getting naked for each other. and finally fifteenth is getting down and dirty with your significant other."

Eridan stared blankly at Dave for a few moments, before regaining his composure from the mind numbing lesson and hesitantly asking, "wwhat base are you and ter on?"

"are you kidding me were hard into fifteenth base. like really hard. terezis into some really weird stuff you know. the first time was fucking fantastic but then things got really... strange."

"ok i get it can you please stop speakin," Eridan asked forcefully, yet unsuccessfully.

"like i was really glad when i found out that yall didnt have tentacles or some shit like that down there dont get me wrong. it made me fucking ecstatic like a japanese school girl that finally gets home from school to find out shes in a normal anime. but the excitement kind of wavered when tz started getting into what she likes."

"wwhat do you fuckin hear wwhen i say stop talkin im really fuckin curious."

Dave rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the desk. "like at first it wasnt too bad just like role playing where she pretended to be a justificator or something like that but it slowly got more and more painful."

Eridan closed his eyes and said under his breath, "please if there is a god out there smite me the fuck dowwn and release me from this hell. or is this your punishment? for the things i havve done for the kids I havve killed?"

"it began with tying me down handcuffing me. she yearned to be the dominant. then she brought in canes and whips. and when i pleaded with her 'yo tz could we maybe cool it with the dominatrix shit?' it got worse. so so much worse. but i didnt want to say no. i really like her and support her endeavours and i think shes really smokin hot. but the bruises hurt sometimes when i poke them. and theyre always mocking me. mocking me for the submissive i am."

Eridan banged his head on the wall one last time, realising that Dave had gotten eerily quiet, silently staring at the desk he was sitting at. Eridan cautiously approached, waving his hand in front of the Knights blank face.

He wiped his forehead in relief, and prepared to leave, when Dave suddenly looked up and said, "yeah so anyway those girls are probably banging."

"do all human males havve the amazing ability to spout meaningless bullshit because i remember that other boy did somethin like that the first time i talked to him. except it wasnt about interracial relations and made me wwant to gouge my eyes out slightly less."

"are you fucking kidding shouty douche did that all the time."

"yeah but i fuckin liked kars meaningless bullshit."

"how dare you i invite you into my personal life and you spit it back in my face. you hurt me."

"god damn it i dont care anymore im goin to find kar i got to talk to him again." Eridan began his way through to the door he came through. "maybe theres still time to get kan to run me through wwith her chainsaw as wwell because thatd be real swwell."


	26. Eridan: Memorize

**Prince of Heart- Man do you like dream bubbles? I fucking love dream bubbles. Glad we're in agreement because there's a lot more where this comes from.**

The roof was fairly barren, adequate grounds for the showdown. The grey concrete drew contrasts with the starry space above, filled with countless other asteroids all tumbling around. To his left stood the Thief: Vriska Serket, a former Caliginous romantic conquest of his. She stood there, recoiling away from the other two murderers, in her full orange and yellow God Tier outfit. Her face, which popped out of the hood, showed genuine terror in the presence of her two adversaries, and she readied her dice in her right hand. To Eridan's right stood the Bard: Gamzee Makara. Eridan was confused by the clowns' presence, as he had previously been such a passive member of their team, but never-the-less, Eridan prepared to slay him. It was curious though, as the Purple blood had a large scratch across his face, and wore both Equius' glasses and Nepeta's hat. Eridan didn't need to be a wizard to understand what happened.

Eridan had discarded his own cape long ago, somewhere within the halls of the base, in a matter of frustration. All he wanted was what was best for her. But she insisted, and insisted, and Eridan had to do it. Finish off his former Moirail, and the mustard blooded swine that called himself her Matesprit. If anything, he regretted his actions against the Sylph, destroying her Matriorb and blasting her through the stomach. She was only trying to help their race, but in a fit of anger, Eridan destroyed that last bit of hope for the troll race.

He examined Vriska for a moment, watching her blue wings flap behind her. A scowl creeped up to his face, and he felt his heart stop. This was it. The moment of truth. He felt the heat come off of his wand, so much power in such a little object. In the brief moment, he thought about who he'd kill first. On one hand, he didn't know anything about Gamzee, aside from the time when he lost his mind and caused the most damage to the Black King. God knows what else he was capable of. On the other, he actually did know what Vriska was capable of, with her luck thieving powers. He knew she was actually a danger to him.

A second passed, and Eridan got the fleeting feeling that something else was supposed to happen; a moment of de je vu that gave him an uneasy feeling, in spite of the creepy clown to one side of him. He felt like his mind should be on the bigger issue right now, but the feeling just wouldn't go away, and it sort of gnawed at him. He slowly glanced around confusedly, before laying his eyes on the Thief, a nervous, yet curious expression on her face. Eridan scowled at her, placing the de je vu beside him and slightly raising his wand, looking over to the Bard, and back to Vriska. She nodded in the direction of Gamzee in a subtle manner, and Eridan knew what she wanted to do. He turned to face Gamzee, just as Vriska was, and started counting down in his head.

Five.

Eridan took in a deep breath in and closed his eyes.

Four.

He let out a large gust of air, and opened his eyes back up.

Three.

He glanced one more time at Vriska, whom was glaring directly at the clown. He wondered whether she felt as he did, that strange sense that things weren't supposed to be this way. Something was supposed to happen.

Two.

He looked back towards Gamzee, the clown's unsettling smile giving him a sense of dread.

One.

Then, time slowed down for Eridan as he saw Vriska in the corner of his eye throw down her dice, and a faint glow come off from Gamzee. Eridan raised his wand, the glaring white hope/science dripping from it, and aimed it at his purple-blooded former friend. Gamzee opened his mouth, and let out a deafening HONK, and Eridan fired his wand. A beam emerged, and it made its way across the roof in an instant, plunging itself straight through the Bard. Gamzee stood there, dazed for a moment, as a stream of blood started falling from his mouth and newly found stomach hole. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell backwards off the roof and somewhere into the depths of the meteor base.

Eridan took a series of deep breaths, huffing and puffing from the nerve-racking situation. He glanced over at his temporary ally, and quickly pulled himself together, turning his body and raising a wand at her. She did the same, pulling her dice back to her hand and raising them above her head. The two stood still, staring at each other with slight scowls on their faces. Eridan examined her up and down, feeling the beads of sweat fall down his forehead, caused by the heat from the wand and the stress of the situation. And when it came to finally kill his old black fling…

He couldn't.

Eridan threw his hand down to his side and stomped his foot. "damn it!" he shouted, twisting his body away from his caliginous ex. He placed his wand back in his Strife Deck, and sat down on the concrete roof with his head in his hands. He heard footsteps approach, and looked up to see the Thief walk over to him and sit down next to him, wrapping her arms around her legs.

The two sat in silence for a moment, before Vriska spoke up, "Well, there goes the showdown I was hoping for. I would've thought that clown could've put on a 8etter fight! Like, ONE hit at least! 8ut we showed him, huh?" She softly elbowed him in the side. "Teaches him to mess with Team Pir8, right?"

Eridan rolled his eyes. "wwhy the fuck are you here vvris? ju0st fuckin kill me like i knoww you wwant to and do wwhatevver the fuck you came up here to do."

Vriska shifted uncomfortably. "Well I would, 8ut now that you've told me to I'm pretty much o8lig8ed to not do it." She chuckled at her own joke and proceeded to sigh. "So, what're you doing up here anyways? You never did answer me 8efore."

Eridan shrugged. "to join jack i guess. lookin back maybe fef wwas right it wwas a stupid idea."

"Guess you owe her an apology then."

"thatd be kinda difficult wwith her bein dead and all."

"Really dude? Well, I guess we're in the same 8oat there. THAT is why you never give a shit a8out people. Just keep to yourself I say."

"yeah. but it's a fuckin lonely existence."

Vriska looked at him for a second. "You know, for what it IS worth, I missed our adventures."

"obvviously not enough," Eridan sulked.

"Oh, get over yourself! Eridan, you need to understand, not everyone likes your needy, suffoc8ing shit! Not all of us have the patience of a God damn saint. I have no idea how the shit Feferi even managed to handle you all those years!"

"oh wwell thats fuckin rich!" Eridan replied. "puttin tavv and that wwhole situation aside lets go ahead and look at your former moirail. at fuckin least mine wwanted to stay friends howwevver insultin that is. in fact compared to you i handled my rejection quite wwell!"

"Even though you just murdered her?"

"fuck. you. that wwas self defence! she came at me!" Eridan bore his sharp teeth. "dammit noww i wwant to fuckin kill someone else!"

"HA HA!" Vriska exclaimed0, standing up and outstretching her hand. "That's the spirit! Well let's put that attitude towards Jack then!"

Eridan looked up at her, and thought for a moment. "like formin team pirate one last time?" The girl nodded enthusiastically. "wwell fuck it wwhy the hell not. not like i wwas any good at negotiatin anyway!"

"YEAH!" Vriska replied, taking his hand and pulling him directly into a caliginous kiss.

Vriska pulled away, giving Eridan a moment to process a few feelings; first, a rekindled kismesitude between him and Vriska, secondly, a sense of anger directed towards Jack, and finally, a strange dream like feeling, as if the situation at hand wasn't actually happening, though he chalked that one up to the fast pace at which everything seemed to be going.

Vriska grinned and looked directly into his eyes. "Now let's go fuck shit up and kill a demi-god."

Before Eridan could reply, Vriska had already begun to rise by flapping her wings, clasping Eridan's armpits with her own arms and lifting him off the ground. The pair flew off towards a distant platform together, intent on murdering Jack.

* * *

The two arrived a little after, spotting Jack by his noticeable green aura caused by the Black Queens ring and his First Guardian genes. Vriska descended with Eridan, dropping him when the two were close enough to the ground, and taking her place beside him. Jack cocked his head to the left, and quickly turned around to face the two. Eridan had second thoughts as he examined Jack's figure: his lanky, black body was coated in fur, his mouth enlarged outwards in a dog-like snout and a pair of pointed ears on the side of his head. One arm was cut off at the elbow, and the sword that was formerly sheathed in his chest held in his intact hand, while his wings spread out to either side.

Jack snarled, and Eridan pulled his wand from his Strife Deck. "you sure wwe can take him vvris?"

"Easily!" Vriska replied, pulling her dice out as well. "There's two of us, what could go wrong?"

Jack bore his teeth, before perking his head up and taking in a deep sniff. He glanced up, and back down at the pair of trolls, before teleporting behind the two and flying off.

"HEY!" Vriska yelled, turning around. "WHAT THE HELL?"

"maybe hes fuckin scared."

"Nah, it has to 8e something else." Vriska walked to the edge of the platform. "May8e he's going to gra8 some important it-" Vriska gasped with realization, and her eyes widened. "Oh fuck. OH FUCK!"

"oh fuck wwhat?"

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! I'm so fucking stupid! C'mon we need to go!"

"wwhat wwhy wwhat the fucks happenin?"

"The fairy dust! It leads back to the base! We gotta get 8a-"

A loud explosion sounded back towards where they'd come from, and Eridan looked just in time to see a gigantic green circle encompass the base. Vriska let out an agonizing scream, falling to her knees and holding her head with her hands. Eridan simply stared, watching the explosion dance on the horizon, before he heard Jack teleport behind the two. The two turned around, Vriska standing up with tears in her eyes, and faced their foe. He dropped a couple of objects in front of them, both covered in red and teal.

Eridan stared, before coming to a realisation that the bodies of Karkat and Terezi laid in front of him, both maimed with heavy cuts. Vriska gasped, holding her hands to her mouth, before growling and looking up at Jack. Though Eridan continued to stare at the bodies. Not out of shock, no. But some type of confusion. Like it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"no," Eridan mumbled, causing Vriska to glance over at him.

"Wh8t? What th8 fuck is wr8ng with y8u?"

"this didnt… oh my fuckin gog!" He punched the air angrily. "this is a dream!"

"A dream? Wh8t the fuckin8 hell ar8 you 8n a8out? I… this… man, I feel really weird all of a sudden."

Eridan gasped, "and it isnt evven my dream? are you serious im bein pulled into other peoples bs dreams?" Eridan rolled his eyes, and walked past Vriska to the edge of the platform, waving his arm and causing a portal to another memory to open, confirming Eridan's suspicions. "you can fuckin deal wwith this cause im pretty sure youre dead or wwhatevver."

"Wait, dead? I-"

"nope dont givve a shit im gonna go find ara and get my mind off this shit. enjoy bein dead doomed vvris!" Eridan gave the confused girl a wave, and stepped through the portal.


	27. Eridan: Continue

**Prince of Heart- Man can't wait to completely ruin some dramatic moment with Eridan's Heelys. It's all gonna come together, you'll see.**

Eridan landed on his hands and knees sometime later, the transportation through memories never really leaving much space for the illusion of time. He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the new environment as he did per usual, and stared at the smooth, wooden floor for a few seconds. He heard voices seemingly nearby, muffled by a wall, and made a mental note to check it out as soon as he could. Slowly glancing up, he began to examine the room around him; the place seemed to be made of the same light brown wood as the floor, though it was much rougher and courser than the planks under him. There were numerous shelves filled with DVD's, all in some strange language that Eridan couldn't read and barely see from that angle. A single open window shone rays of light upon a two person couch, facing a blank television that had yet more DVD's scattered around it.

Eridan stood up carefully, maintaining a careful balance, and stumbled over to one of the shelves. He grabbed one and took a closer look at the cover, depicting what seemed like a young, scantily clad girl piloting a mechanised vehicle, covered with numerous weapons. No such thing as overcompensating, Eridan said, but that machine would never be as powerful as Eridan with his wand. And now that he had Heelys, he was even mobile. Half troll, half machine, all he needed was a weapon back. Man he hoped he got one before the new session.

Eridan chucked the DVD away, frustrated he couldn't read the title, and went in search of the voices he heard. A short door stood in the way, too small for even the Prince, which Eridan easily pushed open and ducked under inside. The voices became louder, two males and a female, seemingly laughing playfully. The room was set up similarly to the previous, with the exception of a large oval table in the middle, completely covered in equipment for some strange card come. Several round tokens were scattered at each person, and some were piled up in the middle. One of the boys noticed him, allowing a better look from Eridan. The boy had large Tavros-esque horns coming out from beneath his black and red hair, and wore a strange red and black outfit covered with bones on the front. The strangest thing was his pair of rust coloured wings that adorned the back of his six foot two figure.

The boy waved him over, calling out to him, "oh… hey there dude!"

The other two looked over, revealing the old buddy Cronus and perfect girl Aranea, causing Cronus to groan angrily and Aranea's face to light up.

"Eridan!" She exclaimed happily, giving him a surprisingly uplifting feeling from his frustrated emotion, and stood up. She noticed his downer mood, and she gave a concerned look. "Aw, what's wrong?"

Eridan sighed, "these fuckin dream bubbles are the problem i swwear to the signless. evvery single damn time it brings up some bad memory and this time it wwasnt evven my memory one of the stupid doomed vvriskas. and on that topic wwhy the fuck is it alwways some memory wwith her? one wwhere i fuckin fell back in black lovve wwith her no less."

Aranea placed a hand on his shoulder, and reassuringly asked, "Are you feeling alright?"

Eridan pouted. "not really."

The Sylph pulled him in for a hug, which Eridan happily returned, and a loud grunt was heard from the table. "do you guys mind? vwe still need to finish this game."

Aranea pulled away and rolled her eyes. "Alright Cronus, I was just greeting a friend."

"vwovw, thats a fucking fantastic thing that I don't giwve a shit about babe."

"come on doll… lets just f1n1sh the hand."

Aranea nodded her head and looked back at Eridan. "Alright, just sit at one of the chairs, and we can talk after the game."

Eridan followed her to the table, watching her sit at the end of it and taking the seat just around the corner from her. Cronus went back to his hand, and the other kid gave Eridan a polite nod.

"n1ce to meet you… by the way! names ruf1o."

Eridan didn't give a response, and laid his chin down on the table to watch the game unfold in front of him.

"alr1ght… so i guess ill just… call," Rufio said, placing a subset of his tokens into the middle of the table with the slide of his hand.

"wwhy the fuck are you speakin like that its annoyin," Eridan asked.

"1 dont know dude… why do any of us speak the way we do?"

"it's a wweird combination of short pauses and confidence like wwhat the fuck is your deal?"

"vwovw, thats fucking rich coming from you," Cronus added.

"oh dont you get me fuckin started on you you human identifyin wweirdo."

Cronus banged his fists on the table and stood up. "do you vwanna fight me shortstack? because i vwill fucking END you."

"8oys, come on!" Aranea pleaded. "Cronus, you wanted to continue the game, did you not?"

"the only game im continuing is the game of kicking my ancestors ASS vwhen vwe get outside."

"ill kick your ass back to life i dont need magic or science."

"guys… come on… we can sort th1s out-"

"hey, heres an idea, how about you go off and kill more of your lowved ones?"

"wwoww at least i had lovved ones!"

"OH MY GOD," Aranea yelled, "WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" She garnered the twos' attention, Eridan slightly recoiling in shock. "You sit us down here Cronus to finish this game, and then you turn around and just start FUCKING AROUND with this pathetic little spat you have with your ancestor? What the SHIT is wrong with you?"

"oh, come on babe, he started it."

"I. Do not. Give a shit. This is ending until we finish the game. So sit the fuck down, finish this God damn hand, and then I can go a8out continuing the story a8out Eridan as your ancestor, 8ecause we ALL know that's where we're going next! Do I make myself clear?"

Eridan and Cronus nodded, Eridan feeling a strange mixture of fear and red feelings for the spider girl. Cronus and Aranea sat down, Aranea noticeably frustrated and Cronus a little embarrassed, and the Bard picked up his cards.

"i uh, i call," Cronus stuttered, pushing a bunch of tokens into the middle of the table.

"Good, now I call." Aranea did likewise. "Now, show hands."

The three placed their cards on the table, revealing the cards to have a couple of numbers on them. The three looked into the middle of the table, where five other cards were situated, and the two guys groaned whilst Aranea rejoiced, reaching over the table with her short stature and pulling all the tokens into the middle.

"vwhy the FUCK did vwe think it vwas a good idea to play with the chick of light vwho has fucking LUCK povwers?"

"Don't play the game if you can't handle the 8ad ending."

"vwhatewver, i dont giwve a shit. just tell the story about my avwesome ancestor to the trash teenage wversion of him."

"With pleasure!" She turned to Eridan. "So, where were we when we last paused? I believe Eridan was captured by Feferi, Gamzee was killed, and Eridan escaped custody with Vriska. So, I guess we'll start again at the point where the two return to Eridan's base!"


	28. Eridan: Escape

**Prince of Heart- Man, what was that? MORE Pre-scratch Eridan stories unrelated to the main plot? Well, ya twisted my arm, but ya got it folks and folkettes.**

Eridan hopped down a short ledge, the final stretch of the several week trek that he and newfound accomplice Vriska had journeyed. The two had easily escaped the prison, killing the several guards that stood in their way, and out into the capital city of Beforus, Ternia city. The two kept low as they traversed the city, avoiding the Sovereigns checkpoints and random searches that were set up soon after the two escaped. For weeks, the two lived off stolen food courtesy of the spider girl using surprisingly sneaky thieving skills, prompting the title, "The Theatrical Thief" from Eridan. He would often watch her make a giant fuss over something so menial, then when the owner went to either give a coupon or get security, she would pocket as much as she could and the two would run off to feast on the gains. He admired her quite a lot actually; the two would pass the free time exchanging stories of thievery and conquer, as well as tales of romance the two had. That was a topic Eridan wasn't well versed in, but hearing Vriska's string along of black and red lovers and noticing her trends was something that interested him. He often found her fawning a little over him, typically describing him and his faux heroics, before snapping back to reality after realizing she had already revealed her flattering crush on him.

The two had travelled far from the city, going as far as the lush countryside on the outskirts of official Ternia territory, where Eridan had his base of operations located sweeps ago. He must've been approaching a couple hundred sweeps now, and the base was set up back when he was just a few dozen, a fresh face on the horizon. With the help of his Jade-blooded friend and a little financial support from another Indigo blooded one, he had set up a fearsome group of mercenaries and taken his first town just nearby by the time he was seventy, a town probably taken back by the Sovereign by now. It almost broke his heart, but most certainly filled him with a murderous rage.

Eridan gestured above him where the Thief was, and she followed him down. Under the cover of the night sky, the two followed the abandoned warehouse formally entitled, "Zahhak's Hoofbeast Stable," and approached a small metal door, rusted and run down. Eridan held a hand up to stop Vriska, and stood up straight, knocking on the door with a loud series of clangs. He glanced up to the side wall, knowing a camera was there to spot intruders, and gave a small wave at the area, much to Vriska's confusion. A few awkward seconds passed, before clicking sounded from behind the door, and it quickly opened, revealing a gruff looking troll with the uniform of Eridan's army adorning him.

"MY LorD," the soldier said, giving a short bow, "WE HavE EagerlY AwaiteD YouR ReturN." The soldier gestured them in, and Eridan led the way for the Cerulean blood. They descended a set of stone stairs and found themselves at the entrance of a large room, brimming with busy trolls from all over the spectrum operating various technologies and participating in several activities. Some sat at tables playing different card games, others sharpened weapons, while others still worked the computers and machines meant for communicating with other bases.

A few of the trolls looked up from their time consumers, quickly standing up and saluting Eridan, before resuming their hobbies. Eridan gave each a rushed wave, searching for one of his co-conspirators in the sea of low and high bloods.

"Eridan!" A lady called out, the clacking of heels jogging on the floor. Eridan barely got to turn around when his tall compadre wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her tall figure. "Oh My Goodness I Was So Worried About Your Safety."

The lady pulled away, letting Eridan glance his old friend up and down. The Jade blood stood a few inches taller than him, and her skinny figure was covered in a long, flowing green and black dress, with the aforementioned heels seen just below the bottom of her dress. Her Jade green eyes examined him up and down, her thick head of extensively styled hair bouncing up and down as she did, and she gave him a relieved smile, showing her pair of fangs.

"yeah hey kan its been a wwhile," Eridan told her.

"A While? How Could You Let This Happen?"

"I admit, it was quite f001ish to let yourself get captured," another deep voice claimed, pulling himself into view. The male had snuck up to them, finally bringing together the trio of conspirators. He wore the most informal attire of the three in spite of the fact that he was the most official and wealthy of them, his clothes including a black muscle shirt that did little to hide his bulky figure, a pair of dark grey cargo pants, and some black shoes and thigh high socks. His hair was made up in a ponytail, and he hid his Indigo colored eyes behind a pair of broken, rectangular sunglasses.

"wwell it wwasnt exactly my choice."

"It actually was e%actly your choice," the Indigo blood said matter-of-factly. "You chose to fight the Sovereign one on one, an e%tremely f00lish choice first of all, and set yourself up for an ambush, allowing the Sovereign to take out most of your forces without the need of STRENGTH in numbers. Then she took back her land, and now can we barely even hold onto this scrap of vile dirt."

"i get it but im here to get it all back."

"And how e%actly do you plan on that?'

"i havve no idea but im sure a few bottles of wwine could get the thinkpan rollin."

"Not Before You Get These Soldiers On Your Side," the Jade blood said. "Most Of Them Have Given Up Hope Because Of Youre Destruction. Seeing You Walk In Here Has Rallied A Few But You Cant Just Expect To Walk In Here With What I Assume To Be A New Recruit And Expect Them To Be Motivated To Fight."

"i knoww i knoww. but this isnt just a neww recruit this is vvriska serket. she helped me es-"

"I know you," Equius exclaimed, scowling at the spider lady. "You were the b100 b100d that raided my robot factory a few months back."

"Woah, calm down 8ig guy. Equius Zahhak, I think it was? Please, that was a mistake on my part, I'll throw that out there. My 8ad."

"Your bad? Are you kidding me right now? You murdered several of my most e%cellent workers and b100 up my flipping factory. Several million coins, down the darn hole."

"Well if it's any consolation, the guards didn't give me a single piece of food outside of the three full meals, excluding 8runch of course. I mean, I had to actually ask every time I wanted new clothes or a set of make-up. It took every fi8er of my 8eing not to mind control the guards and make them do funny dances or something."

The Indigo blood grunted, "There is no way in heck I'm having this e%cremental filth in this army. She will sell us out as soon as she gets the chance."

"she helped me escape equius. and not only that but shes one of the most charismatic people i havve evver seen. you wwanna get this army together? shes comin in on this as wwell."

"8esides, I don't have my pirate force either. And it's going to get 8oring as fuck sitting around doing nothing while I wait for new recruits, soooooooo why not let 8ygones 8e 8ygones?"

"Yes I Do Believe We Need As Many People As We Can Get. And If Eridan Wants And Trusts This Girl Then Who Are We To Disagree?"

Equius scrunched up his face. "Ah, fine. But if she so much as 100ks at us the wrong way, I'm going to snap her little neck and pull all my funding from this group."

"Oh Equius, if you keep up this 8ehaviour, I'm going to be giving you a lot of wrong looks." She gave him a wink for good measure, prompting a scoff from him in response.

Eridan looked around the room, and put his hands on his hips. "fuck i guess i gotta get up on my soap box and explain to these idiots wwhat the deal is."

"These 'Idiots' Barely Have Any Faith In You Anymore," the Jade blood informed him. "Youre Going To Have To Promise Them A Lot To Get Them Motivated."

Vriska looked around at the various trolls in the room, and chuckled, "Ha! Don't worry yourself honey, I'll take care of these scallywags."

"Uh My Name Is Kanaya And I Am A Troll Not Honey." But the spider girl was already up upon the table beside the four, having used a small chair to get up above.

"Hey, idiots!" she exclaimed, garnering the attention of a few soldiers whilst the rest didn't even give a glance. "HEY!" She yelled higher, a few more now looking, but the majority of the room still more engrossed in their various activities. She sighed, and glanced over to Equius. "8e a sweetheart, and put those muscles to good use?"

Equius glared at her for a few seconds, before sighing, and smashing his fist straight into another table. The table was instantly demolished, finally catching the attention of every soldier in the room, some out of interest and some out of fear. Equius blew on his fist for show, slightly sweating and a little uncomfortable, and nodded at a quite disgusted Vriska.

"Yes, thank you and please go find a towel 8efore you get dehydrated and I throw up from disgust." She glanced back around the room, all eyes now on her. "So, I've 8een told that you ruffians have 8een out of the game for too God damn long, am I wrong about that? I know what that's like, to have your livelihood, your passion, stripped from you and everything you've 8uilt torn to fucking shreds. Three months ago, I ran one of the toughest pir8 groups to ever terrorize the several seas. Now, most of my men lie leagues under the sea, slaughtered after one wrong move, and a tip off from a certain Indigo 8lood."

Equius shuffled uncomfortably, discarding his recently acquired towel.

"8UT, that is not where stories end. You think tough times ever stopped the legends of history? Remem8er the previous matriarch? How dreamy she was, how we yearned her back after the new Sovereign appeared. After she took away our traditions; fighting, robbing, terrorising, now everyone's pampered and spoiled. We had to fight to survive, but now every 8lood type is made to take care of the ones 8elow it? We were tough, and kids these days won't ever understand that. Tell me, why did you guys even join this fight?"

One Mustard blooded lady spoke up, "whEn thE sOvcErEIgn cAmE IntO pOwEr, shE fOrcEd mE tO stOp prActIcIng AgE Old trAdItIOns pErfOrmEd by my AncEstOrs. thOUsAnds Of swEEps Of cUltUrE, gOnE! All bEcAUsE thEy wErEnt dEEmEd sAfE EnOUgh! ErIdAn prOmIsEd tO rEstOrE my AgEs Old trAdItIOns!"

Another Denim Blue blooded man rose up from his chair. "1 h4d my h0me t4k3n fr0m m3 t0 s3rv3 4s 4 l0w b100ds h0m3l3ss sh3lt3r. 4nd h0w d1d th3 s0v3r31n d0 th1s 1n th3 f1rst pl4c3? by thr0w1ng my 4ss 0ut 0n th3 curb! sh3 t00k my h0us3 4nd l3ft m3 w1th N0TH1NG! 4nd n0 0n3 b4tt3d 4 fuck1ng 3y3 unt1l 3r1d4n c4m3 4l0ng 4nd g4v3 m3 4 pl4c3 t0 st4y 4nd 4 c4us3 to f1ght f0r!"

A Phlox Purple sea dweller bashed her fist on the table. "1 was 1 of the wealth1est trolls on the planet a few dozen sweeps ago now 1 l1ve 1n the ghettos because her majesty thought my money would be better spent help1ng some land dweller out 1n the m1ddle of nook-fuck nowhere! She completely forgot about me and left me to starve but then Er1dan gave me a gun and a l1ttle b1t of hope 1n th1s fuck1ng world!"

An excited uproar was heard amongst the crowd, and Vriska harnessed this energy. "That's right! What is the common piece between your stories?"

"ERIDAN!" The crowd chanted. Vriska gestured Eridan up with a hand outstretched, which Eridan took and joined her up on the table, still with Vriska's hand tightly intertwined with his.

"The Sovereign has taken our way of life from us, and we're going to lie down and take whatever cultural raping she has in store for us?"

"HELL NO!" The crowd shouted back.

"im gonna take my land back one wway or a fuckin nother. then wwhen i got evvery piece of land i had stolen wwell march on their precious utopia palontine!"

"And after that, may I ask Eridan?" Vriska egged him on.

"then? then wwe take the capital city of beforus and put the sovvereigns head on a spike!"

Another roar of agreement from the crowd, most of them out of their seats, and Vriska let out a hearty laugh. "They won't ever know what hit them, will they ladies and gentlemen? So let's get the fuck out there, and slaughter our way to victory!"

The entire crowd seemed to jump with enthusiasm as Vriska raised hers and Eridans' hands up in the air, and a loud ruckus was heard around the room. "holy fuck youre wway too good at this. its kinda scary."

Vriska leaned her head to the side, closer to Eridan. "I kind of have to 8e if we're going to 8e the power couple of the millennium."

"the wwhat noww?" Eridan asked, turning into a deep, red feeling kiss from the taller Vriska, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he grabbed her by the torso. Eridan blocked every other sound out, the roughhousing no longer mattering, and he felt like he could come back. Like everything could go his way, and nothing could stop him. Like he had more hope than he knew what to do with.

Vriska pulled away, stared him straight in the eyes, and told him, "Now let's go fuck shit up and kill a matriarch."


	29. Eridan: Interrupt

**Prince of Heart- Oh Cronus, how your douchey-ness cancels out your handsomeness. Such an unfortunate occurrence.**

"wwhat?!" Eridan exclaimed, pausing the story at hand and bringing the group of four back to reality. "argh you gotta be kiddin me! evven in these awwesome stories about me that fuckin girl alwways manages to wax red HOT for me."

"oh, vwell thats a long shot from reality, huh?" Cronus pointed out, leaning his head on his hand.

Eridan banged his fists on the table, pushing his chair out and standing up. "wwhat is that supposed to mean you fuckin bulge munchin phony?"

Cronus waved his hand casually. "it means you cant hold a relationship babe."

"at least ivve fuckin had one."

"fuck you, iwve had a caliginous fling once."

Aranea raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and asking, "What? With who? None of us have heard of this alleged fling."

"yeah, vwith damara."

Aranea scoffed, and burst out laughing. "Oh honey, everyone's 8een with Damara. It doesn't particularly count."

Cronus narrowed his eyes, scowling at the Sylph. "hawve YOU been vwith damara?"

"Everyone doesn't exempt me, Cronus. If anyone hasn't 8een with Damara, I'd 8e surprised."

Rufio coughed, alerting his presence to everyone. "could we maybe… not have th1s conversation? th1s 1s just some… crazy sh*t."

"oh, im sorry rufio," Cronus said sarcastically, "is talking about the babe you cheated on vwith a guy vwith a vweird hoofbeast fetish a sore subject?"

Eridan gasped, a smile on his face. "oh my god you fuckin wwhat?"

Cronus looked back at Eridan, a smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "yeah, this fucking guy cheated on Megido with Zahhak, the actual madtroll!"

Eridan cracked up with laughter. "holy shit youre fuckin insane."

"not only that," Cronus continued, leaning in, "but he vwants to break up vwith him, and cant muster up the courage to actually fucking do it!"

Rufio rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, an obviously forced smile on his face. "yeah… thats a… th1ng that needs to happen somet1me."

"Guys, come on now," Aranea pleaded, crossing her arms. "He'll get to it when he gets to it, 8reaking up with people a way in which their feelings aren't hurt is a delicate procedure neither of you would know a8out."

"vwoah there babe, no need for those insults. cmon, i thought you vwere better than that."

Aranea slightly widened her eyes. "Oh, I didn't actually mean it that way!"

Cronus chuckled, and leaned back on his chair casually. "vwell, novw my feelings are hurt. i think i might need something to make up for that, hmm?"

Aranea rolled her eyes. "Well, may8e you can go relive the memory of getting one of those 'not safe for work' pictures from Leijon and make yourself quite happy, hmm?"

Cronus jumped up and pointed angrily at Aranea. "hovw the FUCK do you knovw about that?"

Aranea uncrossed her arms, and she tapped her head. "Mind powers, Cronus. You seem to forget how suscepti8le you are to a 8asic mind reading."

"argh, this vwas alvways your problem serket! if you vwerent boring as shit, you vwould inwvade our priwvacy."

"Oh come on now Cronus, I think it's nice that you and Meulin are-"

"fuck. you. no vwonder meenah ran off vwith your ancestor, she had to deal vwith your nosy nook."

Aranea looked away from Cronus' eye, the corners of her mouth forming a small frown. "The two are going off and fulfilling Meenah's dream of 8uilding an army to take on Lord English."

"exactly, building an army VWITHOUT YOU. vwhat do you think that could mean, the tvwo of them building an army together? they hawve a shit ton more in common than she has vwith you."

Aranea blushed cerulean, maintaining her stare at the floor. "I was 8usy anyway. I'll join them some time later."

"oh, vwell vwhat a fucking coincidence, huh? vwhatever you say babe, im going somevwhere else vwhere i VWONT hawve my secrets exposed or listen to a story iwve already heard a hundred times. try not to scream too loud vwhen you vwalk in on peixes and cooler you sleeping together."

He gave the group a wave and spitefully stomped out of the room, slamming the small wooden door as he left. Aranea continued looking at the ground, Rufio shuffled around uncomfortably, and Eridan stared at the door with a stunned look.

"man, wwhy do people alwways equate sleepin in a bed together to be the pinnacle of cheatin? like id think makin out wwith someone wwould be much more insultin."

"um, dude… 1 dont th1nk you actually real1se what sleep1ng w1th someone 1s?"

"of course i do wwhat type of self respectin troll wwould i be if i didnt?"

"yeah i… dont really want to expla1n 1nnuendos… thanks."

Eridan narrowed his eyes at the Rogue. "wwhy wwhat does it mean? are you keepin shit from me rust blood?"

Rufio chuckled nervously, "no… ha ha… 1 was just…" He quickly glanced over at Aranea, who was still staring intently at the floor. "so doll… you go1ng to cont1nue the story or what?"

Aranea slowly looked up at the uncomfortable Rufio with a blank stare, then pulled her gaze to the Prince. Eridan gave her a smile and said, "yeah i wwant to hear the rest as wwell. but as soon as thats ovver im gonna get to the bottom of what 'sleep1ng w1th someone' actually means. and if its somethin slanderous about me its your ass loww blood."

Aranea giggled, flattered by the Princes determination for a story. "If you insist. You know Eridan, it may not seem it, 8ut you're really flattering me 8y spending all this time listening to my version of the story. You realise anyone could give you the cliff notes version? Meenah particularly admired you as an ancestor, for o8vious reasons."

Eridan shrugged. "i just prefer to hear about myself wwith all the gory details intact. plus your vvoice is really soothin to hear like vvris but also less loud and obnoxious."

Aranea leaned back in her chair. "Well I do pride myself on those traits, thank you. You certainly flatter me once again."

"yeah doll… were almost at the best part as well," Rufio added.

Aranea glanced between the two of them, and sighed contently, "Alright then, I guess we'll pick this up where we left off. So, our protagonists had just raised their army, and now go off to retake their first town of many…"


	30. Eridan: Take It Back

**Prince of Heart- Man, thirty chapters in and now my Word assumes that an extra w in a word is normal. I should probably switch that back sometime after this story finishes in roughly a hundred or so chapters, give or take.**

Eridan rubbed his hands together for warmth, and breathed into his cupped palms as he sat overlooking the town from his overwatch point. He was set up high above the town on a snowy day, watching over the isolated community located on the outskirts of the Beforus capital city. Today was the day they took it back. He looked around him at the little bunker they had made as an overwatch point whilst a team on the ground planted a bomb inside the town hall. The small area was decently sized for the two trolls inside; Eridan and Equius. A dimly lit lantern sat in the middle of the bunker, with a pile of discarded apple cores and bottles of water sat beside it from the several hours they had sat in the position now. Snow had begun to fall through the open-ended roof, coloring Eridan and Equius' formerly grey coats white, and causing Eridan to clear his glasses every few seconds.

Eridan crawled over to the pair of binoculars near his Indigo blooded partner, picked them up and glanced over the community. Most of the buildings were simple houses, with the exception of a nearby store that the sovereign had set up, something she called a 'supermarket,' and the town hall across from them, retrofitted from a noble-trolls house once the sovereign came into power. Just one of the many refitting's done by her in the name of progression, without a thought for the upper classes feelings or cultures. There were stories of this all over, and one of the most common reasons that trolls would join Eridan's army with. The hall was sparsely decorated, a simple concrete grey hidden underneath the patches of white snow, with the former paint still peeling off from a recent scrape of the building. Several citizens walked by the building, whilst a small number of guards patrolled the building, looking for any sign of intrusion.

"so wwhos the douche runnin the place now anywway?" Eridan asked his comrade.

"Some rust-b100d," Equius replied angrily. "I attempted to build a factory branch here a few weeks ago, back before I knew you were coming home. But this low-b100d outright b100 me off. It was an embarrassing situation, a very, very, FLIPPING 100d situation."

Eridan took his eyes away from the binoculars, and glanced at the seething Indigo-blood, marvelling at his ability to sweat in this chilling weather. "focus you imbecile. once i get my hands on that fuckin land dwweller wwe wwont havve to wworry about him again."

Equius nodded, as Eridan felt his PDA buzz with an incoming message. He pulled out his device, and answered the message.

began Pestering caligulasAquarium (CA)

Hello Mr Ampora  
CA: wwhat the shit is this  
CA: is this you vvris  
CA: no vvris uses her blood colour not some hokey wwhite that i havve to highlight  
No Mr Ampora, I am afraid I am not one of your many friends.  
Nor do I plan to reveal my true identity.  
Let's just say…  
We have mutual acquaintances.  
CA: i dont understand  
CA: are you wwith the sovvereign  
I am not, nor will I ever, be associated with either side in this admittedly useful civil war.  
I am simply here to give advice, tell jokes, and proceed to observe passively, in that order.  
CA: advvice  
CA: wwhat the fuck does that mean  
I have several vetted interests in your exploits, as they are crucial to my birth.  
And further still, crucial to the creation of my universe.  
You have a part in everything, and you will be the catalyst to start a chain of events eventually leading to the creation of my master.  
So here is my piece of advice.  
Watch out for the dice roll.  
CA: …  
CA: thats it  
CA: wwho the fuck are you  
As I said, a gentleman with mutual acquaintances.  
And I am just looking out for your best interests.  
CA: wwell wwheres the joke then  
CA: you said there wwas a joke  
Oh Mr Ampora, I never said I was up to that part yet.  
We still have one more conversation, much further along your conquest.  
And I will be looking forward to it.  
Now Mr Ampora…  
Start out with a bang, not a whimper, hmm?

An explosion sounded outside the watchpoint, and Eridan looked up over to the source; the town hall, now with a large hole blown through the front of it. Eridan looked over at Equius, who gave him a quick nod, and the two jumped from the watchpoint, which was situated upon a two story building. They landed with a soft pap on the snowy road, and started jogging towards the hall while various citizens ran away in fear around them. As they approached, they could see a figure approaching the outside world from within the smoke, and soon enough a male troll was thrown outside of the building. He fell down the stairs before eventually landing in the snow.

The two blue bloods stopped just short of him, as he slowly, and unsuccessfully, attempted to get up, bloody and beaten. It seemed to be the Rust-blood that ran the town, a sleeveless vest overlayed a long-sleeved wooly jumper, with a pair of brown slacks. He had quite a skinny figure, and such a large set of horns as well. The Rust-blood eventually situated himself on his forearms, looked up at the pair, and widened his eyes in shock.

"uH, IT'S YOU, i, UH, THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD?" he said fearfully.

"Well surprise fucker!" Vriska replied for Eridan, emerging from the smoke, with her overcoat starting to accumulating snow. She descended the stairs and grabbed a hold of the Rust-blood, hoisting him up by the armpits, and faced him towards Eridan. "Well co-8oss, what are you waiting for? Tell him who's in charge!"

Eridan glared at the Rust-blood. "i can do one fuckin better. eq take the rust blood and stand him against the wwall there."

Equius nodded, taking the Rust-blood from the visibly confused Vriska and taking him to a nearby wall. "uH, WHAT IS HAPPENING, HERE WITH THIS?"

Vriska tapped Eridan's chest. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"only wway to deal wwith scum is by eliminatin them."

"What?" Vriska exclaimed. "We can't kill him, the 8om8 was just to assert dominance over him!"

A crowd had begun to form around the trio, several of them part of Eridan's army with various blood colours splattered on them from the guards of the city. "the last time i showwed mercy my army wwas torn to smithereens. i aint makin that mistake again."

"8ut we can use him Eridan, manipul8 him! Get someone to keep a check on the Sovereign. I mean, I love to kill a good low-8lood as much as the next sexy pir8, 8ut at some points you have to know when to make strategic decisions!"

Equius called out to Eridan, "He seems to be some kind of paraplegic; I'm unable to stand him up."

"just nail him to the wwall or somethin." Eridan turned back to Vriska. "this is final. im not sparin anyone this time around. all these leaders wwho took control of my land im gonna fuckin kill wwhether you like it or not. you seem to forget wwho still made this rebellion."

"8ut I'm the reason they continue to fight! Don't I get any credit?"

Eridan stared at her for a second, before turning away in refusal to answer the question. Vriska stood by and watched as Eridan approached and stopped a few feet away from the Rust-blood, whom was now pressed to the wall with two of Eridan's soldiers holding either arm. Eridan took his wand from his belt, and pointed the stick at the pleading Rust-blood. He gave one last glance at the Thief behind him, noticing her annoyed look, and he couldn't help but feel regret for disregarding his newfound matesprit's feelings. But he had to do this. He couldn't repeat the mistakes of his past. And with a single turn of his head, he shot a beam of science through the Rust-bloods chest.

The two soldiers let go of the Rust-blood, letting him fall to the ground limply. Eridan's army began cheering amongst the crowd, and Eridan looked around him with pride. Eventually he laid eyes on Vriska, and even she began to slowly clap for him. The civilians were less welcoming unfortunately, each looking on in fear or anger, but Eridan didn't care. He was about to take back his kingdom, one city at a time.


	31. Eridan: 8e Smitten

**Prince of Heart- Ladies and gents, this story hit fifty followers after the last chapter. Like, that's pretty a-okay in my book, and frankly, fucking fantastic to me as a writer that people actually enjoy the stuff I enjoy to write. So thank y'all for sticking around with this story, and I can only hope that I can continue to write a quality story about a smol fish-guy and his wacky escapades in existentialism and destruction.**

Eridan let out an audible sigh, one almost seeming wistful and content, as he placed his chin on his hands. "man i wwas fuckin awwesome."

Aranea chuckled, mindlessly playing with a set of cards she had picked up while telling the stories. "Cronus and Meenah seem to think so. You made an impression for the ages on a lot of sea dwellers with your romanticised tales of 8ravado and hostile takeovers. Alas, they don't understand the term, "the 8igger they are, the harder they fall," and 8oy, did you fall hard."

"thats bullshit i wwas great wwhy wwould i fall from grace?"

"You would 8e surprised. With you taking over every town and city outside of the capital city's jurisdiction, the que-" Aranea was interrupted when something from her sylladex started buzzing, and she pulled out a small device, a blue phone with a painted on web around it. Her blank eyes glazed over it, and she frowned in a concerned matter. "Rufio, you don't have to message me for permission for going to the bathroom."

The Prince and Sylph directed their attention to the Rogue, whom was uncomfortably sitting in his chair with his phone out. "oh well you know doll… 1 d1dnt want to 1nterrupt your story… because cronus ancestor k1nd of scares me."

Aranea rolled her eyes. "Well you can go. I have to put a pin in this story for the moment anyway."

"wwhat?" Eridan complained, letting his hands fall to the table. "wwhy? i wwanna hear the rest."

Aranea reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "I know you do. 8ut I've kept you here pretty long and you're going to wake up soon enough."

Rufioh screeched his chair as he got up, and trotted out of the room as Eridan kept his attention to the Sylph. "oh fuck that. cant i just stay here for all time."

"Eridan?" Aranea asked. "Why don't you want to 8e with your living friends? You're getting them 8ack slowly, aren't you?"

"yeah yeah i guess so. but ivve been havvin this wweird feelin. like im livvin a life not meant for me."

Aranea squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Where is this coming from? Your life seems to 8e 8ack on track, and a lot of your deceased friends would kill to 8e in your position."

"i dont knoww. i guess i just feel like i dont really deservve to be alivve you knoww? after evverythin i did evveryone i killed wwhy am i the one sittin here? wwhy am i the one flyin to the neww session and not tavv or nep or evven fuckin vvris? wwhat havve i done in the past sweep to justify it?"

Aranea pursed her lips. "Is that what this is a8out? Eridan, that's just how life turns out sometimes; people who seem like they didn't deserve a second chance get one, whilst those innocents are taken from the world too soon. 8ut, I don't think that is the case for you!" The Sylph scooted her chair around the corner of the oval-shaped poker table, seating herself next to the Prince. She reached over and grabbed his hand again. "You have made some terri8le decisions, yes, 8ut that doesn't mean you deserve to die from them. I mean, whatever you did, that clown friend of yours did ten times over, and he's still going strong, isn't he?"

"yeah the wwhole kismesis business isnt as fun as it wwas wwith vvris. gam is a lot more abusivve than she wwas."

"8ut I don't think he has hang up a8out this sort of thing, you know?"

Eridan sighed, "mmm i guess. its just like things movved so fast back in the game wwith fef abandonin me no one vvisitin my planet and then the wwhole jack situation." He let out a hefty sigh again. "now wwith the meteor and the neww session and the ghosts it all just feels like," he looked up at the spider troll, "maybe i havvent growwn the wway i wwanted. like im lookin at the humans and my friends and theyvve all growwn to embrace themselves or wwhatevver the fuck and im just still me. wwith the stupid coloured hair and the ridiculous cape and wworst of all i still fuckin think all that shit is the bees goddamn knees."

Aranea scoffed, "Do you really 8elieve that? Eridan, the very fact that you're having these feelings of existentialism is proof enough that you've come a long way from that lonely Prince on Alternia."

"its not only that though. like theyvve growwn physically as wwell. a sweep does wweird shit to teenagers you knoww. all of them are gettin wweirdly intimate with each other and no one but kar evver spends time wwith me. not countin gam cause all he tries to do anymore is get me to take my shirt off and i dont wwanna fuckin do that for him of all people."

"8ut then look at you! 8elieve it or not, you've grown a 8it yourself, increasing your muscle mass and such. Listen, everyone changes, whether they want to or not. I was always this nerdy little exposition fairy, 8ut then over time my physical appearance took a change for the 8etter and suddenly I find my friends and complete strangers hitting on me, yet never really giving a damn a8out my interests."

"wwell fuckin brag about it. its hard to evver imagine wwhen you wwerent stunnin."

Aranea chuckled, "Almost as smooth as our resident Bard, Eridan."

Eridan looked at her, confused, before realising his unintentional flirtation and half smiling. "i do my best."

"The point is, you've changed Eridan. For the 8etter, I'd say. And there has 8een something I've 8een tossing around lately, ever since Meenah ran off and practically a8andoned me. Cronus did speak a little truth, I guess." She took a deep breath, looked down, and proceeded to exhale. "There are only a couple of dozen weeks until you enter the new session: and I have something going on that, if it goes to plan, will 8ring me into the new session as well."

"wwhat?" Eridan asked. "howw is that possible?"

"Eridan, those are details you're just going to have to trust me on. And tell to no-one. You got that?"

"yeah but wwhy tell me?"

"8ecause Eridan," the Sylph explained, smiling, "I know you've had some sort of red crush on me for a while, just like another Hope player."

Eridan didn't protest the claim, instead saying, "yeah i guess i do. no point in denyin it."

"8ut, unlike the Page of Hope, you've ensnared me, so-to-speak. And with my plan in action, there may 8e hope for a meet-up where the two of us are alive. And that 8rings me to the point. Seeing as we do 8oth have these sort of red feelings, I was wondering if you wanted to may8e... start going out?"

Eridan's heart skipped a beat, and he found himself at a loss for words. This was a situation he had always fantasised about, but one dream he had given up on after the death of Feferi. An awfully pathetic dream in his own opinion, but a dream none-the-less.

Eridan swallowed a gulp of saliva, and replied hesitantly, "is... is this a joke now?"

"No Eridan," Aranea assured, "I'm completely serious a8out this. I want to genuinely go out with you!"

"but uh is that evven possible to date a ghost?"

"Eridan, you can feel me touching your hand right now, can't you?"

"oh yeah i guess point taken. but about this plan of yours wwhatevver the fuck it is. how do you knoww it wwill wwork?"

"I don't. Hell, my plan's 8ased on an ur8an legend within the game. All we can really do… is hope."

Eridan thought for a second, putting all the pieces that were laid upon him together, before chuckling nervously and replying, "yeah fuck yeah of course. id lovve to start goin out!"

Aranea smiled happily back at him, letting out a big sigh of relief, and the two leaned into a flushed kiss, the first flushed one Eridan had had in his life. He found it much more comfortable than that of a caliginous show of affection, the quadrant he had become quite accustomed with. He found it weirdly… warmer that a caliginous kiss, with significantly less biting of his lip, which seemed to be a weird trend with his kismesis'. He actually found himself loving it much more, and he was already satisfied with how this newfound relationship. An actual matesprit.

Maybe he did have a reason to survive. Just maybe he had a genuine reason to get to the new session.


	32. Intermission 3: I May Be a killer

"nah fish dude you don't actually stand up when i fucking say please stand up," Dave berated, "that destroys the comedic situation provided by the actual slim from the original song."

Eridan took off his set of headphones, placing them near the recording machine Dave had bought in a few hours ago. The time had pretty much flown since then, as Dave had found Eridan in the library and instantly gotten to work creating something he called a 'parody song', one involving the very fish dude himself. Eridan had no idea what prompted this sudden burst of inspiration; maybe there wasn't any particular reasoning, just like a lot of his actions. Now the two sat together, recently finishing up the song and working out some kinks with the lyrics.

"dont fuckin snap at me im just so flattered by this ridiculous song that i feel like i got an obligation to do it," Eridan replied.

Dave sighed, obviously a little bit frustrated, "god damn it i come to you with the intention of writing a nice and friendly rap song that may or may the fuck not infringe on copyright and you throw it in my damn face? you insult me fish dude and you insult my family legacy."

"your wwhat noww legacy?"

"man you just dont STOP with the insults jegus christ cool it."

"wwell fuck dont blame me its kinda hard to concentrate wwhen shes here." Eridan ended his sentence by pointing to the third person at the small table, an extremely intoxicated Seer of Light.

The Seer lazily looked between the two, a goofy smile spread wide across her face, and said, "Oh, don't you two worry 'bout liggle ol' me. I'm jusd here to watch two ov my closeted friends create sweet, sweet *hic* music together."

"the only damn thing closeted on this meteor are Eridans shitty capes cthulhu chick," Dave replied, "its kind of hard to ignore you when you just stare at us like were the last piece of bacon at the annual Guy Fieri convention."

"Well I mean, you manarged it for the last few ours," Rose claimed, shrugging.

"wwhered you evven get the substance anywway i thought youd havve given up after last time."

"Oh, why ye sEridan, you ruining my dres sand pushing Kanaka and I into an isolaided room together where we bofe had our cloths off turned me away from the devils drunk for the res tof eterminity."

Dave raised his hands in protest. "wait wait wait. ignoring the fact that half the words you just said weren't anywhere near legible are you implying that you actually made it to fifteenth base on the first fucking date?"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Fiveteenth?"

"you know. did yall end up banging?"

The drunkard waggled her finger. "A lady doesn't kis sand tell, my dear baby Strider." She then raised her hand to cover the side of her mouth, and audibly whispered to Dave, "But you better damn well know I done wen tand did that sexy vampire like I was in a Stephenie Meyer novel."

"woah cthulhu chick we got ourselves a fish child in the vicinity hes like a month old in fish years."

"speakin' of bangin'" Rose began, turning to Eridan with an outstretched finger, "you given your ghost spider girlfriend the ol' fish stick yet?" She gave a wink for good measure, nearly tipping her chair over in the process as she lent in.

"i dont think one of the bases invvolvve cannibalism. and besides its only been a month wwere no wwhere near that stage of the relationship."

"no dude shes talking about filling buckets like theres no tomorrow."

Eridan scowled. "of course not the twwo of us decided wwe wwere gonna wwait until the right time you knoww."

Rose smirked. "Did both of yous decide that or did she decide that?"

"does it matter wwhats wwith the damn questions im just tryin to not fuck up this relationship up like i did wwith the other serket."

"Well she's alls ready dead, so ya can't have a repleat incident like the last chick you hadda crush on."

Eridan narrowed his eyes. "fuck you. as much as i appreciate your hostility wwhile intoxicated you go a little ovverboard wwith this shit."

"HA!" Rose laughed, "I get it. Overboard. Because you were a pirate! Class-*hic* angry Eridan."

"dude shes fucking out of it i wouldnt even try to make sense of her intentions."

"Oh!" Rose exclaimed suddenly, raising her drink and sloshing a small bit of it onto her hair. "Speakin gof angry, how's boy-toy Gam-Gam coming along?"

"fuck if i knoww last i evven saww him was before you and kan started datin. i mean god damn it hes goin the wway of vvris by just ignorin me until i get the message and givve up. like id wwant at least a message sayin 'fuck you dont talk to me anymore' instead of this 'should i shouldnt i' bs."

"Oh, you poor fiash baby boy, I thought Gamezis would've worked out a schedule between you and Terizal like a courteous gentletroll."

Eridan raised an eyebrow, looking over to an equally confused Dave before looking right back to the Seer. "wwhat does that mean?"

"Hmm? What does what mean?"

Eridan groaned out of frustration. "the part about ter wwhat the fuck did you mean?"

"Oh! I fought he told you about that. You know he's smashing Terimble on the side, right?"

"wait wait wait," Dave halted, "tzs dating clown guy on the side?"

"Yeah, as a Kismimble or something likes that."

"oh right i forgot that was even a thing. thats kind of not okay with me if were being honest. i thought i made it clear that i wasnt fine with the whole multiple relationship troll thing but i guess were going to have to talk about it again."

"Aww, there thar my wittle Knight bro, you'll still have Karat and Erinad to make out with or whatever the frick boys do in their spare time together."

"are you kidding eridans got a smoking hot babe of a ghost girlfriend and him and crab douche seem tighter than a goddamn baby with an overprotective mother on the cusp of losing custody they dont have room for a third wheel. speaking of fish dude," Dave turned to face Eridan, "how are you doing with thi-" Dave looked around confusedly, finding Eridan's seat empty. "where the shit did he go?"

Rose raised a finger. "I think I saw him head somehere towoods Terepy Pipes room?"

"oh shit," Dave exclaimed, 'oh shit! fuck i got to make sure he doesn't do anything rash. you stay here cthulhu chick."

Rose gave a wave as Dave ran in the opposite direction. "You got it Davey!" Rose sighed as he exited the room, before whispering to herself, "I wonder what Kapana is doing?"


	33. Intermission 4: But You'll Never

**Prince of Heart- "That's just about the saddest thing I've ever heard get said," will be the Homestuck quote I get on my gravestone, mark my God damned words.**

Eridan gruffly bashed the metal door with his fist, intent on finding the Seer of Mind and learning the full story of Gamzee's apparent black affair. He just couldn't believe what that girl said; was Gamzee actually cheating on him? Not to insult himself, but why would Terezi even stoop that low? She didn't seem the type, especially the type to cause drama amongst the group by way of a cheating partner. She'd be much more direct in her drama-causation, he was sure of it, but that wasn't going to cease his current anger at the Seer and Bard for their actions.

"ter open the fuck up!" Eridan yelled, smashing his fist against the metal again and making a loud series of clanks that echoed throughout the short hallway.

"dude hold the fuck up," he heard Dave say as he approached, the Knight's red cape flapping behind him as he jogged up the Prince.

"dont try and stop me knight," Eridan demanded, backing away from the door and pointing at Dave. "i gotta find out wwhat the fuck is goin on."

"fish dude i aint trying to stop ya," Dave explained, "i want to find out just as much as you do. im just here to make sure you dont… you know… go all eridan on us."

Eridan gritted his teeth. "wwhat do you mean go 'all eridan' on you?"

"cmon dude even you got to understand that euphemism."

"i wwas hopin i wwouldnt." Eridan turned back towards the door, pressing his hands against it. "terezi open this fuckin door before i smash it dowwn!"

Dave crossed his arms. "thats a metal door no way in hell are you breaking that down like some sort of cool-aid man. tz being the kid in desperate fucking need of what that jolly red man is bursting in to give her of course."

"GO 4W4Y!" Terezi's muffled voice called from behind the door. "1 DONT W4NT TO T4LK TO 31TH3R OF YOU."

"god dammit ter i dont givve a shit wwhat you dont wwanna do i need fuckin answwers!" Eridan backed up from the door, cracking his neck as he prepared to kick the thing open. "and im gettin them one wway or a fuckin nother."

"dude youre going to break your legs. lets just organise an ambush or-" Eridan didn't let the Knight finish, as he paced towards the door, raised his leg, and slammed his sole into the metal door, breaking the thing open. The two sides, which would've slid into the wall surrounding the frame, crashed to the ground with a loud clank, and Dave looked into the empty doorway.

"holy shit those troll exercises really fucking work. that or the doors made out of cardboard."

Eridan pushed past the human, barging his way into the room and glancing around. The place looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months: plastic bottles of Faygo splayed around the room, piles of clothes surrounding the closet, the bed hastily and messily made. It was like an infamous Alternian cyclone had torn its way through the place. The only light source came from outside the room, illuminating Eridan's shadow across the wall in front of him, and he flicked on the switch beside him. With the light finally on, he located Terezi curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, facing away from the two.

"ter dammit speak to me!" Eridan demanded, stomping over to her and grabbing her shoulder. "just tell me wwhere that stupid clowwn is!"

"1… 1 DONT KNOW!" Terezi cried out, resisting Eridan's firm grip. "WHY WOULD 1 KNOW 4NYW4Y?"

"rose let loose your secret about you and him," Eridan explained as he jerked her around, "so tell me wwhere the hell he is so-"

Eridan stopped dead in his tracks as Terezi turned around, her clothes stained with various flavors of Faygo, and looked him directly in the eyes. Like actually looked at him. Her eyes had seemingly returned, the formerly red glares replaced by normal troll yellow eyes with black pupils, and Eridan couldn't believe it. He'd only seen this once before, when he first met up with Terezi and Vriska during his FLARPing adventures, shortly before the whole "pay8ack" incident between them and Team Charge.

He gently let go of her shoulder, slowly backing away and letting Dave push past him. "dude what the fuck are you-" He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Terezi's repaired eyesight, "holy shit." The Knight crouched down, Terezi desperately trying not to directly look at him. "tz… what the hell happened to you?"

Tears began to form at the corners of Terezi's eyes. "1… 1 D1DNT M34N FOR 1T TO GO TH1S F4R. R34LLY."

Dave sighed, "tz dont give me that. you knew i wasnt down for your weird troll romance and you told me you were a ok with that. now i not only find out that you went behind my back but you did it with that insane clown no less." He took hold of both her shoulders gently, and she inched her chin up to look at him finally. "dude. what happened?"

"1 HON3STLY DONT KNOW!" she exclaimed. "1T 4LL H4PP3N3D SO F4ST, 4ND 1 D1DNT R34LLY KNOW WH4T TO DO, 4ND B3FOR3 1 KNOW IT TH4T CR33P H4S H1MS3LF UP 1N MY GR1LL 4T 4LL T1M3S."

Dave paused for a moment, before raising his hands and taking off his glasses, revealing his cherry red eyes. "you know you couldve spoken to me if you were having troubles."

"WHY WOULD 1? YOU 4R3NT TH3 MOST S3R1OUS P3RSON OUT TH3R3."

Dave sighed wistfully, "i know i know its just…"

Terezi reached up and caressed Dave's cheek. "TH1S 1S TH3 F1RST T1M3 1'V3 LOOK3D 4T YOU, YOU KNOW?"

Dave knocked the hand away softly. "tz dont do this to me. please."

"wwhere is he?" Eridan hastily interrupted, his scowl directed solely at Terezi.

"1…" Terezi paused uncomfortably. "1 TH1NK H3 M1GHT B3 SOM3WH3R3 1N TH3 OR1G1N4L COMPUT3R ROOM? TH4T W4S WH3R3 1 S4W H1M 4 F3W HOURS 4GO."

"wwell its a god damned start," Eridan told her.

"BUT YOU C4N'T HURT H1M!"

Eridan gritted his teeth. "wwhat the bubble poppin wwriggler FUCK do you mean i cant hurt him?"

"yeah i second fish dudes sentiment why cant he hurt the bastard?"

"1 W4NT TO SHOW TH4T B4ST4RD MYS3LF, YOU KNOW? 1 W4NT TO BR34K 1T OFF MYS3LF."

"then wwhy dont you come wwith me then?" Eridan pleaded. "come wwith me and knock the smug fuckers make up off his fuckin face."

Terezi stared at him for a moment, slowly gazing over to Dave's concerned face, and looking back. "1 DONT KNOW 1F 1 C4N R1GHT NOW, YOU KNOW?"

Eridan groaned with frustration, turning around and stomping away from the Knight and Seer. "fine wwhatevver. im gonna commit an actually justifiable killin."

"NO, JUST, PL34S3 DONT K1LL H1M!" Terezi yelled as the Prince left the room.

"tz," Dave whispered, directing her chin so her face looked at him, "please just tell me what happened."


	34. Intermission 5: Be My Queen

**Prince of Heart- Honk :o)**

Eridan stormed his way back through the halls of the meteor, seething with anger and intent on doing what he should've done back on the meteor. This clown had put him through enough shit, then to fuck him over some more, cheated on him with another Kismesis, and he was done. Done of being abandoned again and again. In all truth, maybe he was going 'all Eridan' again. Maybe he was overreacting like he did just over a sweep ago. But he felt like he had to do this, like this time, the receiving party deserved it.

He barged through the automatic door to the library, his arms hidden beneath his cape and his back slightly hunched over. He continued past the table where Rose was seated just fifteen minutes ago, now a trail of alcoholic beverages trailing off in the direction of Kanaya's room, past a myriad of toppled bookcases. He walked directly past it; there was no time to worry about her when he had Bards to kill and irons in the fire. So many fucking irons. He rounded the corner and jogged up the stairs, ending up out the front of the computer room's door. The Prince clenched his fist, let out a deep sigh, and stepped forward to open the automatic door.

As he stepped inside, he examined the state of the room. The place looked pretty much identical since the groups old trolling days; a large pile of horns still sat in the corner of the room with dried up fuchsia blood covering it, the computers were in various sets of disarray ranging from dust to full destruction, and underneath Eridan was a crusty puddle of Jade blood. The room was still well lit, though Eridan didn't know why, and the door decided to close back up, trapping him up in the room with where ever that clown was. He gave a quick scan of the room, taking a few more steps in, before stopping near the pile of horns.

"gam you ovver appreciated non finned prick revveal yourself!" Eridan called out, clicking his cape off and letting it fall to the ground. No response came, so he tried once more, "come on out you fuckin purple swwilled cheater!"

"you called?" he heard Gamzee say behind him prompting Eridan to jerk his body back. He found the clown standing there menacingly, slightly hunched over and the facial wound still prominent across his nose.

Eridan straightened up, clearing his throat. "wwell im glad you actually decided to see me for once in your miserable life."

Gamzee took a couple of steps towards Eridan, furthering himself from the ventilation shaft near a broken computer set up. "I'VE BEEN MOTHER FUCKING busy lately."

"i knoww," Eridan replied, taking a couple of steps back, "i heard about you and ter. howw the fuck could you do that?"

"MOTHER FUCKING EASILY," Gamzee claimed, continuing his way toward the Prince. "i took advantage of a vulnerable and hot girl."

"but wwhy the shit?" Eridan nervously replied, further backing away from the much taller troll. "wwhy not just break up wwith me then?"

"BECAUSE, my fishy amigo, I EXPLAINED A MOTHER FUCKING LOAD OF MONTHS AGO that it was going to be you, i, AND A VERY SPECIAL FRIEND."

Eridan felt his back hit the front of a desk, putting him in a corner against the clown. He felt a bead of sweat form its way down his cheek, the clown's advances making him feel more than slightly uncomfortable.

"but i didnt agree to this bs," Eridan continued, ignoring his fears. "i nevver wwanted ter to get tangled up wwith you."

Gamzee finally stood a few inches from Eridan, outstretching his arm so it leaned against the wall behind the desk, and lent his head down so far that Eridan could smell the average tasting soda on him. "and what is that supposed to mean?" Gamzee asked, as Eridan heard the distinct sound of the metal door sliding open.

Eridan gulped, "i… i wwanna break up wwith you gam. and i wwant you to stop botherin ter as wwell."

Gamzee slowly lowered his hand so that it laid on the desk on the other side of Eridan, trapping the Prince. "OH FUCKING YEAH? and what if i have different plans?"

"wwell you dont get to make that choice. i wwant to do it so fuck you."

"HAHAHAHAHA. fucking ha. I DON'T THINK SO BRO. i got needs that got to go get filled, YOU FUCKING FEEL ME?"

"gam please get awway from me. youre makin me uncomfortable."

"and i'm uncomfortable with how much you ain't giving me, ya know? SO, my dear, dear, eridan, HOW'S ABOUT WE GET ON WITH TH-"

Gamzee's awfully intimidating manner was interrupted by a loud clang sounding from behind, turning out to be a frying pan colliding with the back of the Bard's head. The clown fell facefirst at Eridan's feet, and the saviour revealed himself, well, themselves, as Karkat and Kanaya, and to a lesser extent Rose who stood behind the two, still very much intoxicated. Karkat took a sigh of relief, letting the pan fall to the ground, and looked up at Eridan with a relieved expression.

"HOLY SHIT, I WANTED TO DO THAT EVER SINCE THE GUY STARTED IGNORING ME." He manoeuvred over Gamzee, wrapping an arm around Eridan. "YOU OKAY DUDE? HE WAS GETTING PRETTY CLOSE TO YOU."

"i guess? i feel wweird. he wwas kinda advvancin and..." Eridan stopped himself. "thanks i guess. but a feww more seconds and i wwoulda givven the guy wwhat the fuck for."

"So It Seemed," Kanaya said sarcastically, a gleeful smile on her face. "Oh Finally We Have Him! The Clown Is Finally Down!" She too approached Eridan, the smile falling and her hands on her hips. "You Were Seeing Him This Whole Time And Did Not Think To Tell Me?"

"wwell fuckin first off you hate me and second off i thought he had genuine black feelins for me so excuse me for not runnin to you like a blue blood to the condescension."

"Is That An Actual Phrase?"

"it is noww. look im just really frustrated right noww. can we get rid of gam yet?"

"With Pleasure. I Can Finally-" Kanaya gazed to where Gamzee had been, now empty, and sighed defeatedly.

"FUCK, HOW DOES THE DOUCHE MANAGE TO SLIP AWAY WITHOUT US SEEING HIM? HE'S OVER SIX FEET FUCKING TALL, HE'S A GOD DAMN LUSUS BY ALL ACCOUNTS."

"I Suppose It Doesn't Matter Now. Eridan I Am Glad Youre Safe Really. But We Wont Be There Like This To Save You In The New Session. And There Has Been Something I Have Been Thinking About Extensively." She pulled something from her Captchalogue, though hid it behind her back. "So I Hope I Do Not Regret My Decision But Since You Have Proven Yourself To Be At Least Somewhat Decent Again…" She outstretched her arm and held out her hand, which had a thin, white stick in it. "Here. To Defend Yourself In The New Session When We Get There."

Eridan opened his mouth in awe, and quickly snatched the stick from her hand. He felt the thing radiate, and he knew exactly what it was.

"Now I Dont Want You To Misuse This New Found Power Alright? We Dont Need A Repeat Of You Know What."

Eridan found himself too immersed in the magic/science of the wand to pay attention to what the Sylph was saying, but nodded anyway. Now he was back to his former glory. And this time, he was going to try his damndest to keep himself from repeating mistakes of the past; no matter the cost.


	35. Eridan: Read This BS Again

**Prince of Heart- Hot damn, happy six month anniversary to this fanfic, here's to 35 more chapters :')**

arachnidsGrip (AG) began Trolling caliginousAquarium (CA)

AG: Hey there 8uddy.  
AG: It's 8een a while, hasn't it?

Eridan slid his hand down his face, as he readied himself to read this bullshit conversation again in the depths of a dream bubble version of his hive. He had realised as soon as he'd entered sleep that he was reliving a memory; he hadn't spent this many times getting royally and respectfully fucked over by all his horrendous memories without picking up a few tells. But he decided to go with it, as he only vaguely remembered this conversation from shortly after he and Vriska broke up, and he was pretty sure he never finished reading it out of spite. So he decided to sit down at his desk, in the midst of a mess of history and wizardry books, and continue whatever conversation was happening. He had almost forgotten what his old room looked like; his black fridge in the corner of his room that held his wine, his various amazing wizard statues placed around his desk, and his large amount of gold that he threw haphazardly around the room. It brought back other memories, ones he hoped to god didn't manifest as well as the current one, in some kind of dream-ception.

AG: So, uh, yeah. I had a lot happen recently.  
AG: And it really put things into perspective. Mostly a8out how I treated others over what? The last three sweeps I knew most of you?  
AG: God, it really has 8een a while, huh?  
AG: You know it's 8een a8out fourteen months since we 8roke up? I mean hell, it certainly feels a shit tonne longer to me.  
AG: I'd ask you how you feel a8out it, 8ut I think if you cared you pro8a8ly would've replied 8y now.  
AG: I remem8er you to a tee, Ampora.  
AG: It's part of why I 8roke up with you, actually. I mean, there is a thing as too attached, you know?  
AG: I mean man, the messages you wrote! Ha, I wanted to say something? Like, "hey 8ro, you might want to tone down the desperation a little?"  
AG: 8ut seeing as you're the fearsome Eridan Ampora, I gave you the 8enifit of the dou8t!  
AG: 8oy, did I make a mistake doing that. Considering you're not even reading this, can I 8e honest with you?  
AG: I just didn't have the heart to even 8reak up with you properly. I have no idea what was even the pro8lem with me.  
AG: It really was an asshole move, thinking 8ack.  
AG: Well, you'll 8e happy to know I got my comeuppance.  
AG: I made the mistake of messing with that rust 8lood Tavros and paralysing him from the waist down.  
AG: I know what you're thinking.  
AG: ONLY paralysing?  
AG: Yeah, I'm a little surprised as well that so much happened over something so petty.  
AG: Well anyway, that red 8itch Aradia sent a 8unch of voices to haunt me.  
AG: So I sent her 8oyfriend to kill her. Which worked, 8y the way.  
AG: Turns out, my moirail Terezi also didn't really like that.  
AG: You remem8er her, right? We started something pale like a month 8efore we 8roke up.  
AG: Anyways, she ratted me out to one of our mutual friends, and he 8lew my arm off and one of my eyes out.  
AG: Then I mind controlled Tavros, who mind controlled her lusus, who then mind controlled her to walk out and stare at the sun.  
AG: So I guess she's 8lind now.  
AG: And now I'm just sitting in my neigh8ours hive, while he adjusts this new arm and ro8otic eye thing.  
AG: I think I can make it work though. I mean, I just am that hot, ha ha.  
AG: Aah. Yeah.  
AG: It's pro8a8ly for the 8est you don't reply.  
AG: This is a weird puke up of my feelings, ya know?  
AG: Anyways, I think I've got to go. I hope that you don't take this as me running 8ack into your short arms.  
AG: I just wanted you to feel some sort of smug satisfaction that I got my 'wwhat for.'  
AG: So yeah. I might catch ya sometime l8r, huh? Out on the high seas.  
AG: Try not to get yourself killed sometime soon.  
AG: Oh, and, sorry for not officially 8reaking up with you, I guess.

arachnidsGrip (AG) ceased Trolling caliginousAquarium (CA)

Eridan closed down the app, resting his head in his hands and breathing a sigh of frustration. He shook the vague feeling of regret, preventing him from replying stupidly to a memory of a conversation, and pushed his chair out to get up. He pulled himself away from the desk, gazing around his room, and then pacing towards the door mindlessly. So mindlessly, that as he opened the door and stepped out into the open air, he barely noticed himself fall down into the deep blue ocean below. He submerged beneath the water quickly, his gills working their magic as he gained his composure and fixed himself up. He settled himself down, taking longer breaths, and jerked his body around to look at the large, empty ocean, before pulling himself to the surface against the surprising weight of his cape and long-sleeved shirt.

He surfaced a moment later, the bright sun piercing his eyes and the blue sky giving him a sense of loneliness. The way he was looking, he saw nothing but sea for miles, and looking back, his hive had disappeared, in its place a gigantic galleon ship with a multitude of others far behind it in the distance. The wooden thing looked damaged at the front, a large dent made in it from what seems like a while ago. He noticed a couple of figures balancing among the wreckage, focusing his hearing so he could hear the vaguely familiar voice.

"GR8!" one of the figures exclaimed, their blue overcoat fluttering in the breeze. "THIS IS JUST GR8! First we cr8sh int8 someone's st8pid look8ng hive, dam8ging our sweet 8ss 8oat, 8ut now the HIVE IS G8NE?"

"wELL, UH, i DID WARN YOU ABOUT IT, UH, YOU KNOW?" another voice proclaimed.

"I'M S8RRY POOP DECK 8OY, D8D I ASK F8R Y8UR STUPID 8PINION? I MEAN, DID 8 G8, 'hey Tavros, could you please tell me what you think, 8ecause I value what you have to say FROM Y8UR STUPID FUCKING R8STY M8UTH?'"

"uH, i'M SORRY?"

"Don't 8e sorry you d8mb stup8d idiot f8ce, 8e GOD DAMN US8FUL! Wait a second, what the hell is that in the water? Is that… no fucking way!" The feminine figure hopped from broken board to broken board, eventually jumping on a life boat that hung from the side of the ship. She quickly cut the ropes, the boat plummeting into the water with a loud splash, and hopped in one of the seats. She used the paddles to make her way over to the Prince, and as she got closer, Eridan recognised that athletic figure and pirate uniform unmistakable to him.

"vvris?" Eridan asked, as the girl approached him.

"Eridan fucking Ampora, how are ya 8uddy?" Vriska exclaimed, turning around and looking at him with blank, unblinking eyes.


	36. Eridan: Rise

The rowboat rocked steadily as it was pulled upwards towards the deck of the ship, giving Eridan ample time to squeeze out the water from his scarf, though the endeavor seemed fruitless considering the rest of his attire's current state. It felt strange to be on this ship again; the last thing he remembered from this galleon was when he and his former kismesis had captured three especially rowdy trolls, and how disappointed the pair were when they organised an elaborate escape resulting in Eridan's hurt pride. He felt a sort of warm feeling though, like he was experiencing all the memories of black love he and Vriska had up on the deck as their FLARPing characters. Despite his platonic hatred of the Beta spider girl, he felt like reminiscing about the old days of sea faring and adventure with her. After he saw his dear Alpha spider girlfriend, of course. So many irons in the fire for the Prince, and he didn't have the gloves to deal with most of them.

The Thief of Light pulled the small rowboat close to the galleon, and Eridan hopped up from his position as Vriska jumped back aboard to address the crew, who had gathered near the side of the ship. "Alright you sea-farers and land-8lu88ers, and John, looks like we finally got a much sought after crew mem8er a8oard our dear vessel. An old flame of mine, a current flame of one of you, and pir8 extraordinaire, Eridan Ampora!" She slid aside, extending her arms from her well-fitting overcoat and introduced Eridan, who stepped aboard with her. He got a good look along the crew, noticing a few friendly and not so friendly characters among the crowd. There were the fish girl Meenah, a smirk resting on her face and a purple bandana wrapped around her head, and his matesprit Aranea, her arms interlocked and a caring smile upon her face, whilst she wore a beautiful black dress with blue fringes hugging her curves and reaching just passed her thighs. There also happened to be Sollux, a pair of eye-patches covering both his eyes, and Aradia, her usual care free expression giving off her attitude and her relaxing red god tier outfit. A strange human stood next to them, a pair of blue long sleeved pajamas with a long winded hood adorned him, and glasses not unlike the Jake boy Eridan had met a couple sweeps back and messy black hair. He was quite lanky, almost as tall as Vriska, and with caramel colored skin as opposed to the pale that humans usually were. And lastly stood Tavros, In an ever so ridiculous Pupa Pan costume that he used to wear in their FLARPing days.

Eridan gave a wave to the group, and Vriska gave him a slap on the shoulder to grab his attention. "Not quite like the old days of Team Pir8, huh Ampora?"

"yeah not fuckin really," Eridan replied, watching the crew scatter to various smaller groups.

Vriska began to walk away, facing Eridan and pacing backwards, "Hold on right there 8uddy, I got something for you!" She ran off towards the cabin of the ship, leaving Eridan by himself on the hardwood planks of the deck of the ship.

He heard the clacking of shoes on the ship approach him, and turned into a hug and peck on the lips from the shorter spider troll. "Eridan!" She exclaimed, pulling away. "It's such a joy to see you here! I wouldn't've have even imagined the luck we'd have to encounter you all the way out here!"

"yeah i wwas just chillin bein fucked by yet another memory of vvris so nothin outta the god damn usual."

Aranea frowned, gripping the Princes hand tightly. "Hmm, I do wish there was something I could do about these 8ad memories you seem to be constantly experiencing. 8ut this is how the dream 8u88les work, oft using such terri8le memories to initiate you into the afterlife."

"yeah but they didnt fool me this time. figured that out wwith no time to spare cause ivve been screwed around more times than those angles on my planet wwhen they came up against my vvengeful wwrath. but fuck talkin about my memories can i just say howw fuckin ravvigin you look in that pirate dress?"

Aranea gripped the edges of the bottom of her dress, stepped away, and spun around. "Oh! I'm glad you like it! It gets me into the character of Mindfang, and ready for the numerous adventures that aw8 us!"

"Hey asshole!" Eridan heard Vriska say, turning to see her jogging towards them. "Stop flirting with my ancestor for five seconds and look over here!"

Vriska stopped in front of them, and pulled a set of clothes from her inventory that Eridan had not seen in a long time: his FLARPing costume. She handed the set to him with outstretched hands, telling him, "We were actually reminiscing 8efore- well, I was at least- a8out how much of a kick you would've gotten out of all this pir8 stuff. I only thought it fitting that I at least got you prepared for the role! Plus, I'm not going to have one of MY crew running around without the proper attire!"

Eridan grabbed the outfit in awe, and looked up at the Thief of Light. "i uh i had no idea you evven had this still. i kinda threww it the fuck awway after wwe entered the game."

"Well of course I didn't keep it, dum8ass! I remade it along with a lot of other outfits, so you are WELCOME, 8y the 8y."

Eridan nodded, and stripped off his cape, shirt and undershirt, donning his original FLARPing outfit, then replacing his Heelys with his boots as well. His body armour was much lighter than he remembered, but other than that this might be the first positive memory he encountered, because damn did he have some good memories in this outfit. The Violet body armour and cape, the long sleeved jacked, oh boy was that just the damndest memory.

Aranea chuckled, "Well I'll say Mr Kingdom Destroyer, you look very handsome in that get-up."

Eridan smiled. "wwell ms mindfang you look vvery stunnin in that pirate dress."

Vriska placed a finger in her mouth and made a loud gagging noise. "8LEH, you guys fucking sicken me. FOCUS ON THE O8JECTIVE." Vriska pointed to the bow of the ship. "We got a couple last guests to 8reak in."

Eridan gave a glance to where the Thief was pointing, and any threatening look he had was instantly lost, as he laid his eyes on a former fish girl moirail. And soon she too noticed him, a scowl creeping on her face, and the colour draining from Eridan's face. The first time he'd seen her since he killed her, and boy howdy was he not ready.


	37. Eridan: Rage

**Prince of Heart- Lord give me strength for the annoyance that is Feferi, and my hopefulness that she's actually a good character one day.**

Eridan gulped down a glob of saliva, watching the fish-girl slowly widen her eyes and a chilling scowl crawl onto her face. The Witch stood still for a moment at the front of the ship, next to the an oft flirted with cat girl, before she threw her hands down and began stomping towards the Prince in an awfully furious manner. Eridan felt something familiar, the same type of fear he had onset when Kanaya had confronted him on the roof of the meteor so far back, and he stayed eerily stiff and still as she approached ever so closer. He managed to slide his head to see Vriska step to the side of the Witch, an obviously entertained smile on her smug god damn face. The sound of clacking footsteps became maddening in his head, and he turned his head just in time just to feel the colourful and bling endowed fishes hand smack across his face, emitting an audible crack that echoed on the entire ship.

Eridan's face jerked to the side, and the Witch finally spoke up, "W)(AT TH-E )(-ELL IS WRONG WIT)( YOU?"

Eridan slowly turned his head to face the pear-bodied princess, her clothing sense seemingly unchanged since her living days, with the tank top, swimming short shorts, and the green and purple skirt that reached her knees. "uh wwell-" Eridan began, though not for long.

"LIK-E )(ON-ESTLY, you break up with a guy in a V-ERY civil manner, and )(e blows it way the )(ell out of porpoise-tion, t)(oug)( I s)(ould )(ave expected t)(at with YOU of all trolls!"

Eridan slowly rubbed his cheek caressingly. "yeah i guess i deservved that-"

"YOU GU-ESS? We were friends –Eridan, why the ever loving FUCK would you flipper out like t)(at?"

"wwell i mean i dont think you should be usin puns wwhen youre yellin or…"

"O)(, I'M SORRY, AR-E YOU T-ELLING M-E )(OW TO B-E ANGRY? W-ELL, S-E-EMS LIK-E YOU WOULD B-E T)(-E –EXP-ERT IN ANG-ER OF ALL T)(INGS, B-ECAUS-E T)(AT WAS ALL YOU –EV-ER W-ER-E. 'oh fef i dont wwanna talk about my feelins but howw about this bunch of innocent land dwwellers i killed!' T)(at got tiring –Eridan, and I )(ad to break up with you, but t)(at didn't mean we couldn't be friends or w)(atever, but you just )(ad to get jealous and kill Sollux and I!"

"0h g0d d0n't bring me int0 this," Sollux pleaded, rubbing his eye-patches with his thumb and index finger.

"wwell fyi i didnt kill you cause i wwas jealous-"

"O)( MY GOD, I CAN NOT B-ELI-EV-E YOU AR-E TRYING TO D-EF-END YOUR IN-EXCUSABL-E ACTIONS! You killed t)(e bot)( of us, and yet you didn't get w)(at you deserved! You s)(ould )(ave been the one fused wit)( someone in t)(at session wit)( t)(e overdramatic humans, not me or Nepeta or even Equius!"

"fef please i do fuckin think i should havve! but i fuckin wwasnt an-"

"O)(, SO YOU T)(INK T)(AT MAKES IT ALRIGHT? You t)(ink t)(at you can just say you s)(ould )(ave died and be free of every bad t)(ing you've done?" She stepped closer, a few inches away from him, and poked Eridan's chest gruffly, pushing him away. "You can )(ate yourself all you want, but you still MURD-ER-ED US –Eridan. You were jealous, and )(onestly really just FUCKING pathetic! T)(at time I was fused wit)( Nepeta, one of t)(e only t)(ings on my mind was )(ow muc)( I )(AT-ED you, and you still know )(ow muc)( I LOV-E everyone, don't you? So congratulations –Eridan, you broke me! You actually broke me, so )(ow t)(e )(-ELL does t)(at feel? O)( WAIT, YOU DON'T F-E-EL ANYT)(ING BUT ANG-ER, DON'T YOU?"

"uh," the human whispered just in range of Eridan, to the brown blooded Page beside him, "did she just say she was fused with that cat girl?"

"nO," the Page replied, "i'M PRETTY SURE SHE SAID TO, UH, GIVE ME THAT RING. aND YOU KNOW, SINCE SHE IS A PRINCESS, UH, YOU OUGHT TO GIVE IT TO ME."

"oh! well i guess since she is a- hey wait a minute! she did not say that!"

"wHY RISK IT, UH, i THINK?"

"go away im not giving you the ring bull guy!"

"i'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, UH, BUT i'LL HURT YOU IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN? oR MAYBE NOT SINCE THAT IS KIND OF, UH, MEAN."

Eridan gritted his teeth. "fef please i cant fix anythin that happened-"

"And w)(at does t)(at mean? You t)(ink I s)(ould forgive you for w)(at you did simply because it's been long enough)(? T)(is )(as been a long time coming –Eridan, but you are a pat)(etic, overdramatic, cretin of a troll w)(o does not deserve any )(appiness wit)(in his life, and one day, I only )(ope you ge-"

"oh for fucks sake shut the FUCK up you hypocritical overtly nosy OAF!" Eridan screamed back, pushing the appalled princess back a little out of shock. "i mean howw high do you think you fuckin are? howw free of wwrath or sins or wwhat the FUCK EVVER do you believve your shitty way of life is? you stand there and fuckin SCREAM at me for killin you out of 'jealousy'," he said, finger quoting the word, 'yet forget that you ATTACKED me back in that meteor. i duelled that yelloww blooded scum in a fair battle of magic and wweird mythical psychic bs and WWON but you still decided to attack me!"

Feferi gasped, "W)(at else were we supposed to do?"

"YOU COULD HAVVE SAID NO. it wwas an offer and i wwasnt gonna kidnap you like one of those vvisual advventures that land dwwellers wwatch because i still fuckin gavve you undeservved respect in my lovve for you! i mean for the sufferers fuckin sake wwhy the FUCK did i evver believve you to be that outta my god damn league wwhen you wwere almost as bad as me in your owwn glubbin wway!"

He pushed Feferi away lightly with his index finger, slowly guiding her backwards. "for all your ovverly happy glubs and sickeningly positivve attitude all you did wwas manipulate others for your owwn joy! you only stayed in a relationship wwith me because you needed your lusus fed and you couldnt stand killin things!"

"I… I was just protecting everyone from you, you genocidal maniac!"

"oh! oh FUCKIN WWERE YOU? because as much as i claimed i wwanted to did it evver occur to your hoofbeast sized thinkpan that i nevver had the MEANS to attempt it? if i fuckin wwanted to i wwoulda found a wway wwithout you! but no you wwere so caught up in your owwn little paradise that you couldnt see wwhat wwas right in front of you wwhat wwas so obvvious! then you movved the fuck on wwithout a thought nevver evven thinkin about vvisitin me on my planet! i wwouldnt be surprised if you wwere takin advvantage of sols grievvance at the death of his former matesprit!"

Feferi was stopped by the mast pole of the ship, as Eridan leaned in as close as he could. "you wwanna knoww wwhat your main problem is though? you wwanna think that youre the good girl. you wwanna think that YOURE the hero that all your manipulatin is good for others. but it aint. all you did wwas use others for your owwn amusment and wwhen it got borin you movved onto the next sap that fell for your wiles. you got wwhat wwas comin to you cause heres the thing. you aint better than the her imperious condescension. fuck i wwould say youre wworse cause at least the empress can admit that shes a terrible fuckin person and take it wwith pride. hell wworse than me cause i can do the exact same thing and i murdered two people i gavve a shit about. you deservved to die after wwhat you did to me and… after wwhat the fuck you did to that stupid yellow blood! and one day i hope that you can come to accept wwhat you are. maybe then youll do wwhatevver the fuck ghosts do at night but fuckin enjoy it."

Eridan took a few deep breaths, staring directly into a princess who looked like she had the power of God smitten in her. He adjusted the cape around his vest, letting out a large sigh and stepping away from the Witch, as she slowly lowered her hands to her sides with caution. He turned around, looking at the crew who had various states of curiosity on their faces, before barging away towards the back of the galleon whilst looking at the Thief of Light.

"movve this fuckin ship already god damn it!" he commanded, rushing up the stairs to the bridge.

Vriska threw her arms up, replying, "Whatever you say captain. I guess."


	38. Eridan: Greet John

**Prince of Heart- 2 cool + 2 be = 4gotten is the only math equation I need**

Eridan huffed out into the open breeze, leaning over the edge of the back of the ship and staring over the sea of galleons, filled with legions of unrecognizable faces. It was awfully freaky, seeing those ships filled with hundreds of figures that Eridan couldn't even see, all stiff solid save for the sea rocking them back and forth. He didn't feel like looking back at the group he'd left behind, to see their mix of confused and shocked faces, especially whatever state he left the Witch in. That is, if she even gave a shit. He was just so angry that she blamed him for everything, acted like she was such a sin-free princess; but she needed to be taken down a peg. Looking back, she was the least useful player on their team; what did she really do? Create these stupid bubbles? But nothing directly to the team, of course; only a bunch of fucking around with other trolls to satisfy her emotional cravings. Eridan heard the clacking of footsteps behind him, but kept himself lent over the railing away from the figure.

"hi!" The figure exclaimed in a male voice, one Eridan didn't recognize. Eridan decided to turn around to identify the figure, pursing his lips as he did, and saw that it was the one human amongst the crew of trolls. "so, i guess first things first, i'm john! i've only seen you once i think, back, what was it? two years and something months? jeez! time sure flies. i don't know whether you would recognize me, did you look into that black hole or whatever the heck you guys saw from your side of jade? heh, that was a stupid way to put it. do you even know who jade is?"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, a scowl now resting on his face. "of course i knoww wwho jade is. she wwas that ungrateful fuckin bitch that didnt take my god wweapon that i so graciously bestowwed upon her."

John's smile faltered, and he gave a nervous chuckle. "uh… yeah, i guess that sounds like her. but you and i have had different experiences with her! i know she might be a little frustrating but that's part of what i like about her! she can be sweet and nice if you get to know her and are not a big douche! but i guess even then you can get on her good side, because karkat did after all." John shook his head in an attempt to get himself back on track. "anyway, i think i heard your name was eridan? and you are one of the trolls traveling with rose and dave?"

Eridan scrunched up his nose at the humans lengthy rambles. "yeah i am."

"cool! how are those two? what brother sister shenanigans have they gotten up to?"

"mostly romantic b s. dave and ter got together. then it turned out ter had an illicit black romance with gam evven though it meant him cheatin on me kismesis wwise. so i guess they aint a thing wwhich kinda hurts me emotionally cause i thought those psychotic saps belonged together. but wwhat the fuck evver. rose and kan got together after a swweep of some ridiculous wwill they wwont they. but noww rose is addicted to illicit bevvs so theyre goin through a rough patch."

"uh, one question, who is kan?" John questioned.

"kanaya. you nevver talked to her before?"

"her you say? huh. i never would have guessed rose was a lesbian, but that's pretty cool!"

"lets bein wwhat?"

"excuse me?"

"you didnt finish your sentence. you said you nevver would havve guessed rose was a lets bein and then fuckin stopped."

John's goofy smile slowly faded into a shocked and offended expression. "really? is that how it is?"

"is that howw wwhat i-"

"oh no you freaking dont! you think you can come onto this boat, play a perfect and well thought out prank, and then feign ignorance? you insult me, and you insult the egbert family name!"

"wwhat the fuck are you talkin about youre almost as bad as evvery human ivve met. no fuck that youre exactly as bad in terms of meaningless bs."

"h0ly shit dude that was s0me fucking spastic rant y0u went 0ff on," Eridan heard approaching from beside him, up the stairs coming Sollux and Aradia, arm in arm. "i'm g0ing t0 admit i did n0t see that c0ming fr0m s0me0ne as whipped as y0u were."

Aradia lightly hit Sollux in the arm for his comment. "sollux you said you were going to be nicer to him!"

"no, y0u said i was g0ing t0 be nicer t0 him. i never agreed t0 be p0lite 0r whatever the shit t0 the guy wh0 attempted t0 murder me several fucking times bef0re it c0uld've been self defense."

"shut your fuckin honey mouth before i throww you ovverboard you…" Eridan sighed defeated. "it just doesnt havve that oomph as it did back when there wwas a hierarchy. noww it kinda seems meaningless after spendin time wwith a mish mash of people and trolls."

"w0w what a superficial and fucking unearned character devel0pment."

Aradia slapped his arm again. "sollux!" The Maid made a click with her mouth. "anyway eridan its great to see you again! hows the land of the living treating you?"

"eh wwell i guess. i think the group doesnt hate me anymore and i got a ghost matesprit so i guess lifes goin swimmingly."

"0h yeah fuck haha," Sollux laughed, "what a fuck y0u t0 vriska huh?"

"wwhat?"

"like y0u're just dating her t0 make vriska jeal0us, right?"

"wwhat the fuck are you on about i dont givve a highbloods ass about vvris anymore."

"oh wait, i remember you now!" John exclaimed, "you messaged me back a while ago telling me what a scumbag i was! ah, good times."

"yeah wwhatevver that wwas a long time ago," Eridan sighed. "i miss those days. noww wwere on our wway to fight some fuckin invvincible monster. evverythings so different."

John put a hand on Eridan's shoulder. "well, we all are, you know? you're not alone here. we're all scared, but anything can be done when we finally unite together!"

"that is by fuckin far the most ridiculous thing that i havve evver heard from a human."

Eridan felt the ground beneath him shift, and noticed the boat begin to slowly move away from his memory hive. "HA HA!" He heard Vriska cry. "Laidies and gentletrolls, we have movement! Onto the prized 8ooty and all that!"


	39. Eridan: Listen

**Prince of Heart- Give me death over doing my tertiary assignments any more than the day before. I blame the economy, so _thanks_ whoever is Prime Minister of Australia right now.**

Eridan felt the boat shake along the ocean waves, having gone back to leaning over the back railing of the ship, watching the water toss and turn into itself. The wind whipped around him, pushing the ship along its merry path as Captain Vriska guided the ship to wherever the hell she pleased. He had no intention of waking up yet; he planned on seeing this through, as interesting as the whole situation seemed to him. He took a deep whiff of the sea air, the saltiness filling his lungs and giving him a surprisingly calm and nostalgic feeling, reminding him of his FLARPing days long before the game. Back when the name Eridan Ampora would strike fear into most with a blood color lower than Teal, when trolls would quiver at his site in his comfortable and striking outfit and gun. Boy did he miss his gun. He wondered whether that ungrateful green texted human ever actually used his gun, she seemed like she might've done it spitefully? Maybe he could ask John to relay a message for him.

"Hey there, stranger," Eridan heard the voice of his matesprit say, as she took a place beside him at the back of the ship. "Sorry a8out not coming over a little earlier, you seemed like you needed time to cool off a 8it."

Eridan shrugged his shoulders. "i honestly dont fuckin care anymore about that royal blooded bitch." Eridan turned to face Aranea. "if anythin talkin to you might havve helped me."

The Sylph smiled. "Oh! Well, I guess I'm still not used to that sort of 8ehavior towards me, do you understand what I mean?"

"yeah i got it," Eridan sighed out.

Aranea reached over and began to stroke the Princes cheek. "Are you sure you're alright Eridan? I so often talk your ear off, why don't you have a try at it!"

Eridan mumbled something unintelligible, before taking the Sylph's hand and holding in on the railing. "howw about wwe just not do that. i get wway too go damn painful to listen to. lets just go back to you blastin me wwith your word stories."

"Oh! I suppose I could, since you asked. I don't 8elieve I finished the one a8out you, did I? Could you possi8ly be implying that?"

"you knoww damn wwell wwith your fuckin mind wwizardery."

The Sylph placed both her hands around Eridan's one on the railing, and let out a content sigh. "Alright, well where were we?"

"i wwas contacted by that strange wwhite texted men and took ovver that pathetic towwn? and also kinda had a relationship wwith vvris?"

"Of course, I remem8er! So, our Kingdom Destroyer had begun his reign of destruction, soon rising the ranks of the world, and reclaiming his position as one of the most fearsome lords on the planet…"

* * *

Eridan had taken many towns as he slowly made his way towards his goal from so long ago, but the objective had never left his mind: Palontine, and tearing that city to the ground for throwing him out. It had been what now? A sweep and a half now since the Sovereign had taken him for everything? How quickly it took for him to take his vengeance. He had no plans to take her down initially before the whole situation arose, he even planned on a peaceful solution between the two. But she attacked first. And that would justify every action he took, or any he would take in the future. His army had grown in size; having the reluctant Cerulean blood as his matesprit not only did wonders for his romantic life, but her ever present charismatic force lured more and more into his cause. Though not without complaints; she always showed her discontent with destroying every town they came across, leaving destruction and a flag in their wake. She wanted to take towns, steal their riches, but whenever Eridan claim they did in fact steal the towns currency, she'd reply with a grumble and drop the subject entirely, which was fine with Eridan.

Now he and his consorts, plus over seventy thousand men, had taken a few days break after recently taking down their first city, the one where everything had first gone downhill for him. It brung back bad memories of getting his ass handed to him by the Sovereign, watching his second in command get his Purple blooded throat slit. Of his entire army getting torn apart and left in ruins. But no more, and the small group in this room proved that. Of course there were the main four, him, Kanaya, Equius, and Vriska, plus a bunch of their most proven and battle hardy soldiers. He found it ironic that he gave hope to these people apparently, with these loyalists completely on board with him as he aimed to return troll culture to its original state from a hundred or so sweeps ago.

He took a swig from his whiskey on the table he sat at, and looked over at Vriska who sat across from him. "fuck i missed this place. bein on top i mean wwith my entire militia behind me." He gestured around at the room with one arm. "wwere so close noww damn it. that sovvereign wwont knoww the half of it this time."

The Blue blood traced her finger round her cup, idly messing with her dice in the other hand. "Oh a8solutely! Everything we've done totally won't 8ite you in the ass."

"wwhats wwith the sarcasm lately damn it? you act like nothin wwe do is impressivve."

"Oh it's nothing. Just a little overwhelmed is all."

"Overwhelmed?" Equius chimed in, adjusting his tank top. "How are you so overwhelmed by the things we've done? You were a darn pirate."

"Zahaak please, one of these days you're going to learn why I'm gr8 like everyone else has."

"vvris dont provvoke him please," Eridan commanded, rubbing his head and hopping up from his seat. He quickly moved over to where Equius and Kanaya were hunched over a large wooden table, his boots clacking loudly and his cape swishing, and he gazed upon the clustered map the pair were examining. "wwhat havve wwe got so far i wwanna attack that city asap."

Equius swept the map with one arm. "So far, not many e%aminable points of entry into the city. They seemingly buffed their city in anticipation for us; the walls are impenetrable, the guards e%tremely well equipped, and the citizens are all trained in basic military fashion. All in all, their defences are much STRONGER than we last saw all that time ago."

"Oh I Am Not Such A Military Mind But Is There Not A Way We Can Go In From Underneath? The City Does Sit On Top Of The Ocean Right?"

Eridan heard the sound of various sets of boots moving, turning his head and noticing several of his men up and moving around the room, but shrugged it off.

"Indeed there is Kanaya. We have a way through there with the help of a certain Teal blood posing as a lawyer on business within the city, but that will only allow a few people through at a time, so we must ch00se wisely who we take with us."

"YAWN!" Vriska cried out, manoeuvring her dice from between her fingers and into her hand. "Man, can't you guys just kick 8ack and enjoy your time? You told me yourself that you just took in everything 8efore you moved on Eridan."

"vvris you knoww wwe dont havve that pleasure. evven on break here wwe gotta stay on target."

"Laaaaaaaame. That is super lame." Vriska began shaking her fist lightly, the dice clacking softly together. Eridan narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth, remembering some advice given to him just under a sweep and a half ago once again, having had it in the back of his mind for the better part of that time. "I mean, this group is NOTHING like I heard a8out. What I dreamt a8out. Yes you're getting things done, 8ut where's the enjoyment and fun in it?" Her shaking fist got more vigorous, and Eridan's eyes widened in worry, as he pulled his wand from his specubis and placed it on the table under his palm.

"wwhy are you tellin me this noww?" Eridan asked.

"NOW? I've told you my thoughts multiple times from the very 8eginning I didn't agree with your methods!" Vriska sighed. "I suppose that this group really was doomed from the start."

And in that moment, Eridan felt himself slow within the world, as the Thief he had loved threw down her dice forcefully. He pulled his wand up, the room spinning around him, and himself able to make out a few actions, including several of his most trusted men pull out weapons like knives and sharp objects, and start to attack various others around the room. He moved his body towards the Cerulean swine, raised his arm, and shot a continuous beam towards her out of anger. The Thief barely dodged, pushing back her chair and rolling backwards onto her hands and knees. His blast made a dent within the wall, and as time resumed around him, he led his blast and made it follow her movements. She ran across the room, causing Eridan's beam to make contact with several other soldiers, killing almost six of the traitorous men in his ranks, before he let up and stopped his beam. He saw Equius snap the neck of another, leaving the room filled with several dead bodies of both traitors and men who seemed still loyal to him, including…

"kan!" He yelled, running past the Indigo blood and skidding to a halt on his knees above his Jade blooded friend, now lying in a pool of her own blood caused by a wound to the stomach, most likely the cause of one of the traitors' dead to the side with a sword close to his hand. He kept his hands away from her, afraid to touch her, and took a series of quick and hassled breaths to cope.

"Sorry a8out that 8uddy!" He heard Vriska yell, knocking out the large window that had replaced one wall. "8ut something came up, and I have to take my leave."

"wwhy?" Eridan screamed. "WWHY DID YOU DO THIS?"

"Things changed Eridan. Now soldiers all over the city much more loyal to me than you are killing the rest, and if I'm a8out right, the Sovereign should be here any minute. So I'd say de ja vu, 8ut I'm sure you realise your own repeated downfall." The blue blood spread her arms, and turned towards Eridan. "I'll catch YOU lateeeeeeeer." Then she fell backwards, out of a high rise building.

Eridan stood up, and paced over to the window, gazing down and seeing the ground thirty stories below them. He noticed a small ant sized object, and the Thief land in it, continuing to run after jumping out of whatever it was. He then gazed over his city, noticing multiple explosions taking place in the distance, and various buildings with chunks taken out of them.

Eridan turned to Equius. "im goin after that wwrench. call me if anythin arises."

Equius saluted his leader. "Aye aye sir, I'll keep you posted."

Eridan nodded, sighing, and jumping out of the window and into whatever the hell Vriska had hit down in the streets.


	40. Eridan: Jump

**Prince of Heart- I swear I'm going insane trying to balance my personal life, but after everything, I'll always find ways to write this fanfic. I'm finishing this damn thing, even if it KILLS me.**

Eridan felt the wind whip around him as he fell, the world moving around in a blur, when suddenly he felt the lower part of his body collide with a soft material on the ground. His impact, wherein he landed on a hand and knee, crouched over, had broken the cart below him and caused it to fall further down, the wheels flying off and numerous feathers surrounding him. He looked up, just to see his target- the Thief –skid past the corner of the alley ahead. He groaned, jumping up and sprinting after her down the dirty and crowded alley, full of garbage and glass around him, making it to the end of the alley and feeling the blazing sun hit him. He raised his arm to block the sun, though a gigantic floating galleon blocked it out for him, the Sovereigns disgusting sludge she called an insignia painted on the front left of the largely metal, grey ship. He scowled as he noticed a series of pods fly down from the sides of the ship, disappearing under the horizon of skyscrapers and other such buildings.

He continued far behind, though his strides slowly but surely catching up with the Cerulean blood, whom was trying her damndest to lose Eridan, to no success. She traced a corner around a concrete building, formerly a grocery store now reduced to utter rubble, and Eridan continued to follow, the streets full of broken buildings and shattered glass crunching under his boots. As he rounded the corner, same as his pursuit had, he felt a hard presence attack his neck and felt himself completely fly up, and fall to the ground with an audible thump. He felt his back collide with the ground, causing instantaneous pain and making him let out a strained groan. He clutched his back, his hand worming its way under his cape, as he heard a series of slow, clacking footsteps taunt around him. He sighed, propping himself up on his hands and knees slowly, before he felt a finger form it's way underneath his chin and lift him up to his knees, giving him view of the ever elusive Thief.

"You're a persistent 8astard, 8n't ya?" Vriska asked, parting her blue lips and gritting her teeth, a slight grin on her face. Eridan took a couple of deep breaths, opened his mouth as if to say something, and then moved his head forward quickly and head-butted her directly in the forehead, sending the athletic troll woman back. He stumbled up, his legs shaking before he found his ground and raised his fists at his former matesprit.

"back you fuckin wwrench!" Eridan yelled.

"Oh Mr Ampora, how positively rude!" Vriska replied, regaining her positioning.

"wwhy? WWHY? i wwas wwillin to givve you evverythin! i DID givve you evverythin!"

Vriska scowled. "I only have nightmares Ampora. Nightmares from all your fucking pillaging and murdering! I 8elieve you when you say you want to restore our culture, 8ut all this just was NOT how I imagined it!"

Eridan scoffed, "and so you betray me? i thought you cared about me that you had genuine red fuckin feelins!"

"Once may8e, 8ut feelings change Ampora."

"so wwhat? you tell the sovvereign she kills me and you get a fuckin payout?"

Vriska slowly began to circle around Eridan, taking short strides, whilst Eridan followed her movements with his own. "Are you kidding? They want me dead just as much as they want you dead. I didn't sell you out as much as I turned your own soldiers against you, and gave a tip off to her majesty so she could take care of you herself. What I DIDN'T count on was you having the 8ulge to jump out after me."

"youre fuckin chum scrape you realise that right?"

"Oh that is rich coming fr-"

A loud horn was sounded from above them, prompting the pair to gaze up above them and towards a bombed out building to the left of them, where a figure stood triumphantly. In his flowing gray robe, it was the candy blood Threshicutioner, posing with the Sovereigns flag in one hand and his sickle in the other. He glared down at the two, and Eridan made a side glance to Vriska, whom had a blank slate across her face as she stared up at the soldier. A flag was planted in the ground beside the Threshicutioner, and he jumped down from his high ground, landing on his hands and knees.

"AMPORA!" the soldier shouted, slowly rising up. "THE SOVEREIGN HAS MADE THE DECISION TO PLACE YOU AS WANTED DEAD, AND I, HER MOST TRUSTED SERVENT, SHALL ENACT HER WRATH UPON YOU! THE WRATH OF A MILLION TROLLS, ALL THEIR BULGES ERECTING IN AROUSAL AS THEY SEE YOUR HEAD ON A PIKE PARADING THROUGH…"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, sighing and looking over to Vriska, who now had a similar look on her face. "uh should wwe leavve and do this someplace else?"

Vriska shrugged. "I dunno. I kind of want to see where he goes with all this? 8ut what's with him talking a8out 8ulges and arousal really? What's this guys' deal?"

"does he evven plan on attackin anytime soon? like what the fuck is goin on here anyways?"

"I hope, I'm just intrigued enough to wonder."

"… FOR I, KARKAT *MOTHER FUCKING* VANTAS, WILL BRING YOUR SOUL TO THE GATES OF HELL, WHERE YOU SHALL BE JUDGED FO-"

"O)( MY GOS)( KARKAT WILL YOU S)(UT IT?" A feminine voice said, appearing from further behind the Threshicutioner. "I sent you to kill Eridan, not monologue )(im!"

Karkat quickly took a knee, and placed his hand close to his chest. "I'M SORRY, MY SOVEREIGN."

Feferi sighed, and waved him off. "Well, at least t)(ere's a brig)(t side to t)(is. Ms Serket, I )(ave been looking for you as well. I must t)(ank you for the information, my troops s)(all soon take t)(is city."

"Uh, I never gave my name, 8ut whatever, I guess you're welcome?"

"T)(at is w)(y I officially extend my )(and to you in co-operation. )(elp my warrior, dear t)(ief, and all your sins s)(all be forgiven in my eyes."

"You mean I kill Eridan?" the Cerulean blood chuckled. "HA! Easy! Done and done."

Eridan scoffed in a high pitch, "i should havve fuckin known you wwould do this. wwith all this i hoped wwe could havve put it all aside to fight the sovvereign together."

Vriska smirked, pulling her curved scimitar from her strife specubis, whilst her newfound partner circled to the other side of Eridan. "Sorry Ampora, 8ut to 8e honest, you always had this coming ever since you 8urned down that first village. There's a difference 8etween thievery and destruction, and I didn't like how far you descended into destruction."

"then so fuckin be it," Eridan said, pulling his wand out, and readying himself for battle with the Threshicutioner and a Thief.

* * *

"LAND AHOY!" Eridan heard from above, interrupting his intense listening of Beforus' story and startling Aranea a little bit. He looked above him, at a spiderweb of ropes that led to a small cubby at the top of the ships middle mast, where Vriska stood against them with one hand and arm gripped onto it, whilst one leg dangled off in the breeze and the other hand held a telescope.

"land aready?" Eridan asked, "wwell that wwas awful-" Eridan began to turn to face the forward of the ship when suddenly the ship came to a commanding halt as it hit solid ground, throwing both Eridan and Aranea off their feet. The Sylph managed to grab a hold onto the railing on the back of the ship, but Eridan fell over head over boots and landed on his back with an audible thud.

He took in a deep breath, as he heard the clacking of boots approach him. "Oh my goodness, Eridan!" He saw the vague features of his matesprit as his eyes adjusted, leaning over him with the light forming around her short, wavy hair. "Here, let me get you up!" He felt Aranea grab his arm, and easily pull him up to his feet. Vriska above him made a delighted yelp, and jumped from the spiderweb of ropes onto a lonely single rope leading the deck of the boat. She slid down, her gloves taking most of the rope burn, and landed next to him, though didn't stop long enough to check if he was okay.

"Come on you two, last one onto land has to fight Lord Skullmonster himself!"

Aranea gazed at Eridan as he shook his head, grabbed his hands, and pulled him in the direction of all the others that were headed towards the land.


	41. Eridan: Fall

**Prince of Heart- Welp folks this is the last part of the "Ancestor Eridan arc", and we're closing ever so closely into 'certain events.' Boy howdy can I not wait for it.**

Eridan followed the Sylph off the port bow of the ship, which was now lodged deep within the tough shore of a small, rocky beach, surrounded by water that stretched as far as the visible black void of the edge of the dream bubble. He landed on the rough rock gracefully, on one knee and foot, a loud crack made as his hardy boots collided with the brownish substance. He gazed up, at a wide open, and frankly quite menacing, skull shaped cave, its "toothy" mouth an entrance to god knows where on this small island. He heard the clumps of others fall to the ground, John and Tavros falling beside him, while Aranea, Vriska and Meenah ran up ahead to the entrance to the cave.

"Fuck yeah, this HAS to 8e it!" Vriska yelled from ahead, a wide smile formed by her blue lips. She rushed on in, Meenah letting out a laugh and running in after her. Aranea, meanwhile, lagged back, gazing back to Eridan and gesturing for him to quickly follow him, which he quickly complied with and jogged over to her position at the mouth of the cave, and the two proceeded into the cave after Vriska as Arada, Sollux, Feferi, and Nepeta jumped down from the ship as well.

As they entered the cave, the strong musk of moss entered his nose, causing him to recoil in disgust. "so i nevver asked wwhat the fuck you guys are doin here anywways. is this vvrises ill achievved dream of bein a real booty punderin pirate?"

"heh," Eridan heard John laugh, startling the Prince as the human appeared in between him and Aranea, "yeah it is kind of charming! i mean, i know i wanted to be a ghostbuster when i was younger, but here i am now working with a bunch of ghosts to find something to kill a skeleton monster! so, uh, i guess its nice to see her pursuing her childhood dreams, cause it's something i could never do!"

"wwhat the fuck is he saying?" Eridan asked his matesprit, pointing at the caramel skinned human with his thumb.

Aranea chuckled, "Our intentions are to find a super weapon to kill Lord English. At least, those are my dear dancestors' intentions, though it is fun to live out my own 8eta self's life on the high seas while I w8 for my own plan to play into action."

"wwhat is YOUR plan then?" Eridan asked.

"Oh, I don't rightly know! A first indeed, 8ut what can I say? I guess I'll just wing it when I do think of something."

"oh, that sounds pretty cool!" John exclaimed. "that was the basic of what i did in our session! and i guess also what vriska and karkat told me to, but even then i'd still ust do what felt right! like creating ourselves, i guess."

"oh my god can you shut the hell up seriously youre sickeninly innocent."

"aww, thanks Eridan!"

"Well, it would seem we might 8e in this cave for a while! So shall I finish off this story?"

"story?" John asked curiously, perking up. "ooh, what did i miss?"

"Oh, well may8e I should just start from the 8eginning in that case!" Aranea said excitedly.

"no bs wwith all respect ara im on the edge of my god damn seat." Eridan turned to the Heir. "ancestor me had an army got captured by ancestor fef made a pact wwith ancestor vvris and i rebuilt my army. now vvris betrayed me and im in a fight wwith her and ancestor kar."

"Bwuh?" John let out.

"Oh my god!" Aranea whined. "Well I certainly have a type of impatient and terrible story tellers 8ut…" The Sylph sighed. "Fine! I guess I'll just continue the story for 8oth of you even though John has no context! GR8!"

"yes!"Eridan whispered to himself.

"So, our Kingdom Destroyer was in the middle of a duel against two foes, outmanned, but not outskilled…"

* * *

Eridan growled, watching his former matesprit pace around him, whilst ever so quickly glancing at Karkat behind him. He gripped his wand tighter, feeling himself sweat bullets as he anticipated an attack from either side. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and waiting. Then he heard it, quick footsteps from behind him, sprinting up to stab him in the back, so he turned and rolled out of the way, forcing the Threshicutioner into the Thief. The Thief yelped and pushed him away, taking sprint at Eridan as well, and swinging her sword at his neck, to which he dodged narrowly. She brung her sword across again and again, Eridan dodging each time before punching her in the gut and clocking her in the face, bringing up his wand to put a beam through her before the Threshicutioner jumped over her and swung at Eridan.

Eridan moved his arm away, barely getting it out of the way, before Karkat swung again and landed a stab into his hip. He let out a grunt, pulling Karkat's arm, and subsequent weapon, out of his side, pulling him in close and decking him in the nose, but not before Vriska moved around and took another swing at his stomach with her sword, Eridan attempting to jump back but the tip of the sword grazed his stomach. He clutched his stomach as he stumbled back, before remembering his side wound, violet blood slowly oozing out of the sickle wound. He let out a groan, the two attackers readying their weapons, before they both ran at him with malice in their eyes. Vriska swung first, Eridan ducking beneath the swing as Karkat too swung at where his head was now, though Eridan reached up and grabbed his arm, swinging him around and into Vriska, pushing the two away from him.

He yelled in frustration, before remembering something. He looked behind him at the rubble filled building, seeing the Sovereign still standing on top of all the rubble with a couple of guards. He raised his wand up at the Sovereign, hearing a scream from behind him, and felt it heat up, about to fire, before the Threshicutioner pushed him aside and swung his sickle down on his arm, cutting it off at the elbow. The beam still let off a short burst as it fell, firing at the base of the building, causing it to cave in further and the Sovereign disappearing in a plume of smoke. Karkat screamed as Eridan fell to his knees, clutching his forearmless arm. The Threshicutioner quickly turned to anger, Eridan noticing him turn and glare, and scrambled to his wand as Karkat, only a few feet away, made a one eighty to him. Just as the Threshicutioner got to him, he snatched his wand from his detached arm and blasted it directly through his attacker.

The Threshicutioner fell back, dead on impact with the ground as his candy red blood spread across the pavement below. Eridan sat up, taking a series of deep breaths, before he felt a foot collide with his head and kick him down to his stomach. His wand fell from his hand, clacking onto the ground, as Vriska walked around him. As he reached out to grab it, he saw it kicked away by Vriska's thigh high boot, while the other found it's way onto his intact other hand.

"Well, I must say, that was quite a cute move Mr Ampora!" She told him condescendingly, crouching down while grinding her boot into his hand. "Really. I had no dou8t that they would've turned on me, but you've made everything that much easier for me!" She reached into her overcoat, pulling out a strange case filled with three different disks. "Our mutual friend, you remem8er him right? He told me these need to 8e 8uried around this time, and I guess with your 8ody would make sense right now."

Eridan grunted, feeling her foots grip loosen on his hand, but biding his time. "id like to see you try to fuckin bury me."

Vriska chuckled, "You've lost Ampora! Everything is over! The Queen is dead, long live Vriska Serket!" Eridan wriggled his hand, flipping it over and clutching her sole. "Long live the Thief, the greatest Pir8of all-" With one move, Eridan flipped over the Cerulean blood, landing her on her back with a solid thud. He crawled up onto her chest, pinning her down and grabbing her dropped sword and stabbing into her side, the full length of the sword finding its way through her athletic body, just barely poking out the other side.

Eridan leant into her ear, and quietly whispered, "that is for makin me fall in lovve wwith you."

He watched the life drain from her eyes, her last breath going out with a groan. He pulled the sword from her side, letting it clutter to the ground, and pulled himself away from her body while clutching his stump of an arm. He sat back, heavily breathing, feeling his eyes close, his body get heavy, about to pass out…

When he heard a chime come from his PDA, waking him from his soon to be unending slumber. He grabbed around his waist, pulling his little PDA to his face and opening his message.

began Pestering caligulasAquarium (CA)

Once again Mr Ampora, we find ourselves in a dangerous position.  
But a never the less necessary one that I did warn you about.  
Thus causing it to be.  
CA: holy fuck  
CA: im not in the fuckin mood  
CA: im dowwn one arm and one matesprit  
CA: my armys in fuckin ruins  
CA: and i just wwanna die  
Oh but there is still a task for you to complete.  
CA: and wwhy the fuck wwould i evver do anythin for you in my state  
Because you would like to hold a place in history, would you not?  
Even if it isn't recognised publically, but still a major one perhaps.  
CA: …  
CA: fine  
CA: wwhat do you wwant  
Those disks, that case.  
Bury them Mr Ampora.  
CA: bury them wwhere  
Anywhere, it doesn't matter.  
I already know where, so it really doesn't matter.

Eridan huffed, looking around him and grabbing the case of disks. He crawled over to the sidewalk quickly, finding a spot where pavement had been broken and thus revealing the dirt and soil beneath it. He placed the disks down, using his now free hand to dig a small hole in the soil, and scraped the case and the subsequent soil back in the hole, burying the disks.

CA: done  
CA: wwhat the fuck did that do  
Nothing for now. Nothing for a while in fact.  
Now it sits there, waiting for your dear descendant to find it and share it with his hesitant friends.  
CA: and wwhat wwill that do  
Create a chain of events that will inevitably lead to my creation and subsequent death. As well as a universe for an alternate you far in the future.  
CA: i dont understand  
You do not need to.  
All you have to do is whatever you feel is best.  
Live or die, your existence from now will be quite armless.  
Hee hee, hoo hoo.  
CA: real fuckin funny  
CA: i dont much feel like dyin anymore  
As you wish.  
But nevertheless, I am done here.  
Goodbye Mr Ampora.  
May we never meet again.

Eridan sighed, throwing his PDA down and looking around. He pushed himself up with his intact arm, and stumbled onto his legs, groaning in pain all along the way up. He gazed around, taking one last breath, and began to walk away, before he heard a scream from behind him.

"-ERIDAN!" Feferi called out angrily. Eridan slowly turned, gazing at the rubble where Feferi should've died, but instead stood the Sovereign herself, bloodied and beaten but very much alive. "Don't you DAR-E walk away now!" She jumped down, wincing as she hit the ground, but got up and stumbled towards the Kingdom Destroyer. "Come back )(ere and FINIS)( W)(AT YOU START-ED!"

Eridan sighed with frustration, "wwhy?! it is OVVER! im done wwith evverythin. my people are dead my kingdom gone and im left wwith fuckin nothin."

"But you can finis)( t)(is! Just come back )(ere, and KILL M-E!"

"do you wwant to fuckin die? wwhy cant you understand that i dont givve a shit anymore!"

"T)(at's never stopped you before! So w)(at's different?"

Eridan shrugged. "ivve got nothin for you princess. wwhat did you expect? i kill you and your descendant takes the throne in wwho givves a shit years? wwhere does that get me anymore? maybe if i kill you i take your throne but i dont…" He let go of his stump and threw his now free arm up in confusion, "i just dont wwant to anymore? im done i can see that. clearly my own men betrayed me the Cerulean blood i lovved so wwhy the fuck should i sit on a throne. ill just find my wway somewwhere privvate and make a havven there."

"So w)(at? Just like t)(at, it ends? You just give up and run away?"

"unless youd rather kill me?"

Feferi stood still, staring at him with her mouth hanging open in thought, before she said, "I… I don't t)(ink I want to kill someone surrendering."

"then ill see you another time princess." Eridan waved her off, turning back, clutching his stump, and walking away.

"-Eridan!" Feferi called out, prompting him to stop. She sighed, "If I ever catc)( you in my territory again, I will personally poke a )(ole t)(rough)( your throat, do you understand me?"

Eridan took a deep breath in. "got it. try not to run your kingdom into the ground."

"You've already done it for me Eridan!" She shouted, as Eridan began to walk away. "You've already done it for me."

"and then wwhat?" Beta Eridan asked Aranea, waiting for the next part. "i turn round and fuckin deck her right?"

"Sorry to disappoint," Aranea said, "8ut that was it! That's all the information I have. Far as anyone from our universe knew, you just dropped off the face of Beforus!"

"so it just… wwas the kingdom ruined at least?"

"Oh, it was damaged 8eyond repair! The Sovereign never truly fixed what you did, and many throughout the kingdom still re8elled in your name!"

"but it just… ends?"

"I suppose, 8ut 8etter you end this way, content with giving up, then mingle on for eternity in a misera8le position."

"i dont think so. i mean fuck that im makin the most of livin noww. i wwas givvin a second chance and im not gonna let that fall."

Aranea smiled. "A no8le deed, I suppose."

"Hey guys!" Eridan heard Vriska shout at them from up ahead "Stop dragging your feet 8ack there! You're falling so far 8ehind, you're starting to look tiny and ridiculous from here. The treasure should 8e 8uried just up ahead. Let's pick up the pace!"

"excuse me," Sollux replied from behind Eridan, "s0me 0f us here have special needs. i think i will c0ntinue dragging my feet if y0u d0n't mind."

"Sollux, will you just let Aranea heal your eyes already and catch the fuck up?"

"N0!"

Aranea nodded in Vriska's direction, and the pair plus John made their way up to Vriska and Meenah ahead.


	42. Eridan: Follow the Thief

**Prince of Heart- Y'all mind if I COPY AND PASTE 8/10 of this chapter from the comic?**

The trio found their way up to Vriska and Meenah, jogging up and slowing their pace as they appeared around the Thieves, Eridan and Aranea beside Vriska and John beside Meenah. The cave was surprisingly samey as they progressed, stalagmites hanging precariously and brown dirt and rocks surrounding the ground, as well as making up the walls. Vriska walked briskly, leaning forward as to seemingly charge headfirst into whatever it was the group was attempting to find, all the while Meenah slightly lagged behind, looking on in awe at the Thief of Light's boldness in the face of danger. Eridan struggled to keep up with them, having to pick up the speed as to stay with the group.

"So," Vriska said as the group settled around her, "Aranea, as to dispel any awkward silence, why don't you provide some 8ackround noise? We've all been clamoring for another lect-" She stopped herself, "story! Yeah, that's it."

"clamouring," Meenah chuckled, "as in clams text it." She jabbed John in the ribs as she explained the joke.

"ok," John replied, pushing the inches shorter troll girl away. "what's this one about? ogre sex, or salamander shipping, or something?"

"Nope!" Aranea chimed, "Although I would 8e happy to tell you all about those topics another time. How a8out this: a story of two legendary rings."

"uh, you mean like the ones that turned jack noir into a scary dog murderer?" John questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not those rings!" Aranea scoffed. "The rings I am talking a8out are less powerful, and considera8ly more o8scure. 8ut for what they lack in power, they make up for in mystery! Details on the rings are quite hard to come 8y. I have pieced together what little I know from various fa8les and myths. They occasionally make appearances in such stories, serving different purposes in each tale, and always called 8y different names. 8ut in this story, they will 8e known as the Rings of Life and Void. The rings are said to look nearly identical. 8ut their powers are quite different, as are their origins. The Ring of Void supposedly once 8elonged to the 8lack queen of a void session. 8ut one day it was stolen from her 8y a thief. And then stolen again from the thief 8y a rogue. Legend would suggest it changed hands like this for a long time thereafter, until finally vanishing into the void itself forever. Which is fitting, as the ring grants its wearer the a8ility to do exactly the same!"

"so it fuckin turns anyone invisible huh. wwho the fuck wwas the thief?"

"Oh, we don't rightly know! 8ut that is a theory I shall indulge in after the facts are shown! Anyway, The Ring of Life has a very different story. I have found no reports of an origin to this ring at all. Like many magic artifacts, it may not even have one which is comprehensi8le. Earliest reports I have read would suggest it was first discovered 8y some travelers in a desert, and like its sister ring, has changed hands repeatedly since. This ring however has a dramatically different effect. Instead of releg8ting the wearer to o8scurity and immateriality, it does just the opposite. It is said that any ghost who wears this ring will come 8ack to life! In some stories, the f8 of each ring appears to 8e entangled with the other. When one is lost, the other is serendipitously found. A gr8 example of this can 8e o8served in the fa8le of-"

Vriska stopped dead in her tracks, Aranea smashing into her arm and pushing herself backwards. "W8 a minute..." She mumbled.

"8ut I was just a8out to tellmph-" Vriska made a one eighty on the heels of her boots and clashed her hand over Aranea's mouth to prevent her from talking.

"Mindfang, I said shut up." Vriska huffed in response. "W8. Now w8 just a goddamn minute. Hoooooooold on. Are you telling me, are you SERIOUSLY telling me, that ring..." The Thief thought for a moment, before shaking her head. "No. Just... Noooooooo. 8ack it up. For just a silk spinning MINUTE."

"what's the matter?" John piped up.

Vriska looked at him briefly, letting her hand fall off Aranea's mouth, before quickly turning to anger and raising her fists in the air. "THAT FUCKING GUY!" She lowered her hands and clasped the sides of her head as she thought. "Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" She gritted her teeth, before letting out a frustrated scream. "RAAAAAAAARARRAAUUUUUUUUAAAAUUAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" She pointed at Tavros behind the group, walking with the rest of the crew. "TAVROS!"

Tavros recoiled in fear. "wHAT?"

"What did you do with that ring?"

Tavros paused, the blood draining from his face. "wHAT RING?"

Vriska pushed past Aranea and Eridan, stomping over to the Page and pushing him roughly with one hand. "Don't play dum8 with me. That ring you had. You know, the same one the orange guy tried to give me?"

Tavros raised his arms in a shrug. "i STILL DON'T KNOW, aBOUT THIS ORANGE GUY YOU MENTION SOMETIMES. yOU TALK ABOUT ORANGE GUY, bUT, iN REALITY, hE SOUNDS PROBABLY FAKE? lIKE HOW YOU THOUGHT RUFIOH USED TO BE, uNTIL FACTS PROVED HE WASN'T!"

Vriska's eyes widened, her snarling lips furthering into a frown. "You actually think I'm making this up? Why would I make up a story a8out an orange guy? What kind of juvenile fuckup do you take me for? The orange guy was real. He was surrounded 8y a 8unch of stupid fucking horses, and he tried to give me a ring so I knocked him out cold. And then l8ter YOU found it."

Tavros' blinked his blank eyes. "nO i DIDN'T," he replied nervously.

Vriska pushed him again. "Yes you did! Don't lie to me. You had the ring, and you and John were fighting over it 8ehind your 8acks like a couple of idiots for a while. What, you think I didn't notice?"

"yES. nO, i DIDN'T THINK YOU DID."

"Well I did! And I didn't care 8ecause I didn't think the ring did jack shit! 8ut now that I know it does jack A WHOLE FUCKING LOT, I would like you to stop 8ehaving like a disingenuous, argument8tive ASSH8LE and T8LL ME WHERE IT IS."

"i DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS, IT'S GONE!"

Vriska demanded through gritted teeth, "What do you mean it's gone?"

"i HAD IT, tHEN jOHN HAD IT, aND i WANTED IT BACK, bUT HE WANTED IT ALSO, sO, wE ARGUED WITH OUR HANDS OVER IT, uNTIL HE VANISHED, aND i TRIED TO FIND IT ON THE GROUND, bECAUSE IT WAS PRECIOUS TO ME, fOR A WHILE."

"Why was it precious to you? Are you telling me you know what it did?"

"nO, i DIDN'T, i JUST HAD, sEPARATE REASONS FROM THAT, fOR WANTING IT!"

"Well whatever lame reason you wanted that ring, forget it. It's o8viously a much more important magical item than either of us gave it credit for. As soon as we get the treasure out of this cave, you're going to lead us 8ack to wherever you lost it, and we're gonna look for it! Is that understood, Poopmaster Nitram?"

Tavros was silent for a second, before letting out a sigh and doing something that Eridan had never seen him do: regaining his composure. "nO. yES, i MEAN, yES, i COMPREHEND THE LITERAL MEANING OF YOUR YELLING, bUT, nO."

"What do you mean no? That was an order!"

"i THINK YOUR MEAN SPIRITED ANGRINESS IS MAKING ME REMEMBER. tO WONDER WHY i KEEP WANTING TO HELP YOU AND LIKE YOU, aND i THINK IT'S MAKING ME THINK, i DON'T REALLY CARE ANYMORE ABOUT FINDING THE RING, oR FINDING THIS TREASURE, oR HELP YOU DO ARGUABLY EVIL THINGS TO GHOST FRIENDS, tO GET YOUR OBJECTIVES TO HAPPEN!"

"Tavros, what exactly are you trying to say?"

"i THINK, tHE BOTTOM LINE OF THAT, iS, i DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR POOPMASTER ANYMORE, sO i'M NOT GOING TO BE!" Tavros began to float all of a sudden, a hole that led out of the cave in the roof being his seeming destination.

Vriska raised her fist up at him and shook it. "Where do you think you're going? Get 8ack here! You c8n't just fly aw8y from me like th8t!"

"oH, bUT i CAN!" Tavros shouted back. "yOU FORGOT ABOUT *MYYYY* SECRET WEAPON, bEHOLD, tHE SELF ESTEEMS!"

"S8LF ESTEEMS MY 8SS! I SAID G8T 8ACK HERE! IF YOU GO OUT THERE AL8NE YOU'RE G8ING TO DIE, Y8U P8THETIC PI8CE OF SHIT!"

"i'LL TAKE MY CHANCES, yOU JERK! hahA, yeSSsSs! fLY, pUPA, fLYYYYY, heheHehE, ehHHehehEheH, oH yEs, heheHEHEHEhehEhEheh, so clEVEr, how i refEreNCed, whaT wEre onCE, scoRNfUl remArKS dIreCtED at me, eheHahAHa! hahAhehE, so sicK! sO sICk!"

"WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU WH8SPERING FROM D8WN HERE SHIT F8R 8RAINS!"

"hey tavr0s," Sollux shouted up at him as well, "wait up, i think i'm c0ming with y0u."

Vriska hastily turned her head to the blind Mage, a look of worry now upon her face. "What? No, Sollux, w8!"

"nah, i've pretty much had it t00." He replied coldly, shrugging. "i can't believe i went al0ng with this f0r as l0ng as i did, s0 yeah." He looked beside him to his Burgundy blooded friend "i'll be fucked tw0 ways fr0m perigees eve bef0re i let tavr0s upstage me in the backb0ne department. aradia, s0rry, i can't be a part 0f this anym0re, it's just making me feel dirty."

The Maid smiled at him. "i understand sollux."

"let's catch up again later, h0pefully when this is all 0ver."

"yeah!" She replied excitedly.

"0h, feferi and nepeta will be c0ming with me t00."

"WHAT? No they f8cking won't!"

"yes they will! they just t0ld me."

"I d8dn't hear them say shit!"

"they b0th gave me meaningful glances! like as if t0 say, aw yeah, let's b0unce."

Vriska looked to the pair, seeing them both wink in response. "YOU'RE BLIND, H8W COULD YOU SEE A "ME8NINGFUL GLANCE"?"

"instead 0f underestimating the perspicacity 0f the sens0ry impaired, why d0n't y0u bite me."

"No, they can't go! Commodore Nepeta and Rear Admiral Feferi are 8oth critical mem8ers of my crew! This is mutiny!

Aranea raised a finger to interrupt, leaving Eridan's side to walk into the limelight. "Vriska, I am on your side here. 8ut I feel I should point out that technically they 8oth outrank you."

Vriska quickly spun to face her. "Excuse me?! No they don't! Come on, I just gave them titles that sounded cool! How can you outrank a captain?"

Aranea raised an eyebrow. "8y 8eing a commodore?"

Vriska slapped her forehead. "A commodore outranks a captain?"

"yea fraid so," Meenah confirmed.

"this wwas basic fuckin info vvris howw did you not knoww this?" Eridan asked.

"Yes," Aranea said, "and a rear admiral outranks a commodore."

"No, 8ut!" The Thief of Light slid her hand down her face. "I thought a rear admiral was like... Some sort of JOKE rank! Who can take a rear admiral seriously? It might as well 8e a poopmaster!"

"i actually fuckin told you vvris back wwhen wwe dated howw the fuck did you forget?"

"I don't remem8er any of that! Did you do that?"

"yeah," Eridan scoffed, "i wwent into extensivve detail you disgrace to pirate kind."

Meenah shrugged her shoulders. "pretty embarrassing tbh."

"yeah, this stuff is all super interesting. j/k, l0sers. anyway, we're 0ut." Nepeta and Feferi grabbed a hold of two different shoulders, lifting him up into the air and towards the same hole that the Page of Breath had exited. "LADIES."

Vriska shook her fist at him as the Mage left. "GOOD RIDD8NCE YOU 8ACKSTA88ING INGR8TES! I HOPE LORD ENGLISH E8TS YOU 8LL!"

"hey, vriska?" John piped up.

"WH8T?"

"actually… you know that ring?"

"What a8out it?"

"i have it now."

Vriska's eyes widened in hope, and she grabbed a hold of the Heir. "You do? Where! Let me see it!"

"no, i mean, not on me. i guess i wasn't wearing it when i fell asleep. it seems to have the power to come with me in and out of my dreams, as long as i'm wearing it. that's how i got it in the first place. i had it on when i woke up."

"You were wearing it? Why? And why were you playing keepaway with it in the first place! I mean, aside from the o8vious fact that messing with Tavros is its own hilarious reward."

"i don't know. i guess... i liked it, and i just wanted to hang on to it for some reason. but i didn't know i would wake up with it."

"This is perfect! That means all you have to do is put it on when you wake up, then come find me the next time you go to sleep!"

John gritted his teeth, hissing in some air between his teeth. "yeah… maybe."

The blood drained from the Thief's face. "May8e?"

"i'll think about it."

"You'll THINK a8out it?"

"well, yeah. it sounds like an important item, so deciding what to do with it is kind of a big responsibility. it's supposed to bring ghosts back to life, but we don't know how it works. what if it only keeps you alive as long as you're wearing it? that would mean only one ghost could come back."

"Right, all the 8etter to let me use it?"

The background seemingly disappeared behind Eridan, surprising him as the ground ahead broke away to reveal glowing red seas of lava below them, shocking Eridan slightly.

"but there are a lot of ghosts! i'm just not sure what to do yet."

"W8. You're not ACTUALLY thinking of giving it to someone else, are you? That's my ring! The orange guy gave it to ME!"

"yeah, well frankly, i don't give a shit about the orange guy! the ring is mine for now, so i'm the one who has to figure out what to do with it. speaking of waking up, it's probably time i got going too." He began to back away, rubbing his hands together nervously. "i'm not trying to join the mutiny or anything, but i do have friends waiting for me out there."

"John, w8! I hope we're not parting on 8ad terms here. You aren't holding all this treasure hunting shit against me like Tavros is, right? We're still cool, right John?"

John rubbed the back of his neck. "uh…

"If you have to leave, I get that, 8ut I really want us to stay friends! I always felt like we had a special 8ond, John. Like we're 8oth always in the position of having to take charge as leaders, even if we never asked for that responsi8ility. And I don't wanna pressure you into anything, 8ut I would really appreci8 it if you'd at least think a8out me next time you take a nap with that ring on!"

"it's fine. we can stay friends. i don't really like to make enemies with people, even if they're..." He spun his hand in a circle, hesitating to say anything.

"Even if they're what?"

"umm."

"vriska, i have to be honest. years ago when we first talked, it was a lot of fun to get to know you. and i admit i thought about you a lot since then. but i guess i never quite realized how little i actually understood you. during this crazy treasure quest, i tried to reserve judgment, like maybe it was just a troll thing i didn't get. but seeing how those other guys felt about it, i think it's more complicated than that. obviously not all trolls are like you. and i know i'm not. maybe this was all for a good cause, but it still felt like a pretty fucked up way to go about it. and..." He sighed. "all i'm saying is, i'm ready to go. i've seen enough, and i miss my friends. i'll think about what to do with the ring, but honestly..."

"Honestly what?"

"again, i am just keeping it real! but if i am really thinking hard about who i should bring back to life... i dunno if my conscience can justify bringing back someone so... dangerous."

Vriska shook her head. "I… Eridan! You agree that I would 8e the person to 8ring 8ack to life, right? Team Pir8 8rought to life again?"

Eridan stared at her, unimpressed. "team pir8 fuckin died the moment you abandoned me. frankly theres a difference between us cause at least i admit i wwas a terrible person."

Vriska stared back at him for a while, before turning to the Lava filled pit and slowly taking her coat off. "Fine. Don't give me the ring then. Actually, you know what? Even if you change your mind some day, forget it! I don't even want it anymore."

"you don't?"

"No." She let the coat fall to the ground. "I've 8een dead this long. What's a little longer? Keep your ring. I don't want anyone's pity. So 8eat it, Eg8ert." John stayed silent and still for a moment. "WELL?"

"huh?"

Vriska groaned, "JOHN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING!"

"oh. right. i guess i'll just be..."

"WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?! DON'T GO YET."

"wh… what?"

"Look, you made yourself perfectly clear. You think I'm a heartless monster, and you don't want to help me out. Whatever! 8ut are you SERIOUSLY going to check out of this dream like TWO MINUTES 8efore you see what the treasure is?! Holy crap, dude. Where is your sense of curiosity? If I can manage to put up with you for a little longer, I think you can stand my morally 8ankrupt company long enough to find out what this thing is. Why am I the only person in paradox space who actually THINKS!"

"oh. sure. i guess i'll go a little further and check out the treasure. heh, you're right. it would be dumb not to."

"Good." She waved her arms to the remainder of the group. "Party's over, folks. The pir8 playtime wiggler jam8oree was fun while it lasted. 8ut it's time to get serious. The treasure's down there. If my guess is right, it should 8e 8uried in one of his ancient memories. 8y now we've all 8een wind8agged to hell and 8ack 8y my dear ancestor. So I'll trust no8ody's gonna mind indulging one of MY stories. There was a pretty good yarn a8out this treasure I read once during our travels. Found it in some damn memory, who knows whose. It was a good read. IMPECCA8LE prose. Failing to do it justice would be the real matter of gray morality here, if you ask me. 8ut right now I 8n't in the mood to figure out how not to make it fucking suck. So I'll just say this. It was supposedly a weapon that once 8elonged to him. 8ut he could never use it without altering its nature. Meaning he could only use it once. So he did. After that, it could only 8e used again one more time. And only as a weapon against him. Knowing it was one of the keys to his defeat, he had it locked away deep in the void. That's it. Part one of my story. Hold your applause. Guess we'll find out if that's true. Or if it turns out all my despica8le shit was in vain."

She turned and glared at John and Eridan. "Not that it would even matter to some people. You know, they can say whatever they want a8out me. 8ut somewhere out there is a shimmering new universe growing in a 8ig 8all of water. He's looking hells of majestic. Amphi8ious and resplendent. His glorious croak would 8ring you to your knees. That universe is going to give life to 8illions of trillions of zillions of cute little aliens. You wouldn't even 8elieve how pretty and wonderful and happy all these aliens will 8e. It's making your lip trem8le just thinking a8out them, and how worth saving they are. Wow. You could walk up to one of those aliens and put your hand on its innocent shoulder, and with a str8 face you could say, "Sorry to 8r8k it to you. 8ut tomorrow, a guy named Lord English is going to destroy your universe. You are all going to die." And when that alien looks up at you with tears in its eyes, just 8efore the first one rolls down its weird alien cheek, you lean in close to its a8surd alien ear and whisper, "Psyche." That's 8ecause you know a long time ago, in an o8scure pocket of reality the alien could never understand or give a shit a8out, some crazy girl sacrificed the "lives" of a 8unch ghosts in order to kill that guy forever. They were already a million sweeps past their prime, existing on 8orrowed time, luxuri8ting in a kind of 8izarre metaphysical longevity few others will ever enjoy. Just a fresh 8atch of 88 the squid gods kept on ice for an ins8tia8le fisherman cause they were sick of 8eing hunted themselves. Those ghosts were all that stood in the way of an end to this eternal holocaust, and sparing their souls 8n't different in my view from personally committing atrocities on a cosmic fucking scale. I only ever wanted to do the right thing no matter how it made people judge me, and I don't need a magic ring to do that. You don't have to 8e alive to make yourself relevant. And you don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero."

Eridan perked up at that, taking a gulp of saliva and staring at the Thief as the glow of the lava illuminated her.

"You just have to know who you are and stay true to that. So I'm going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how." She turned, taking a deep breath, said, "8y 8eing me," and hopped off the edge into the memory 8elow.


	43. Eridan: Descend

**Prince of Heart- Y'all mind if I literally marry Pepsi Max Vanilla as I continue this story? It honestly might be an addiction.**

Eridan hit the ground lightly as he rolled upon impact with the ground, stopping on his hands and knees and looking directly at the ground to gain his bearing after his fairly large plummet into the fiery filled abyss. The ground beneath him was a solid yet lighter shade of red, cracked and broken as through it was hundreds, perhaps thousands of years of existence. He pushed himself up, looking ahead at the Thief of Light forging ahead towards a far off symbol he recognised as the Light symbol from Vriska and Rose's God Tier outfits, a yellow sun symbol. Around them flames arose, spouting fire and giving off a sparking heat that made Eridan begin to sweat, drops of distilled violet water drooping down his face and arms, as well as clinging to the inside of his FLARPing outfit. Meenah had already landed before him, and Aranea, John, and Aradia landed soon after Eridan stood up. Aranea took to beside Eridan, wrapping her arm around one of Eridan's and giving him a kind smile. Eridan's permanent scowl faltered, and he let out a content sigh and gave a nervous smile back, and she led him up ahead in Vriska's footsteps.

John jogged up beside the tow, slightly out of breath and sweating profusely. "man, it's a little steamy in here! its really hot, are you guys hot?" He pointed to Aranea across the path from him. "why aren't you sweating ghost past lawful good vriska?"

"That is… certainly a term I've never been called!" Aranea chuckled. "Please just call me Aranea. 8ut to answer your question, I'm a ghost John. Why would I sweat?"

"you guys pee though! and i don't understand how ghosts work! why is this all so darn confusing!"

"hey blue sock," Meenah shouted from ahead, "clam it up down there and get yo dorky and cute jawline up here."

"what, why would i do that? all you do is bully me?"

"UGH FIN-E ill fuckin come back there but i hope you know everyones gon know the secrets we got goin on." The Thief began to slow down to match their pace, throwing her arms down in frustration as she let out a loud groan.

"we have secrets going on?" John asked, as Meenah kept a steady pace beside him and wrapped her arm around the Heir, pulling him in close.

"course we do buoy. listfen. we," She gestured between the two of them, "have a problem."

"what?"

"now we both know some day ima be the one to swindle you out of that life ring."

"we do?"

"yeah shit is inevibubble and we all know it."

John lifted a hand and opened his mouth as though to say something, but stopped himself and rethought. "mmm, ok."

"i like priceless treasure. you GOT priceless treasure. bling hipster ampora boy over there is too cool and angry of a guy to steal shit from. my fuckin hero title deal all but guarantees ill steal it from you some day. and ill come back to life so i can rip shit up in the real world and get all the gold and make all yall my slaves and rule everything forev."

John pursed his lips. "i see."

"just one problem though."

"whats that?"

Meenah shrugged her shoulders and sighed, "i dunno if i wanna?"

John's eyes widened with relief. "hmm. alright. then i guess that settles that."

"no but you dont understand." She replied, waving her free hand. "if i ganked your ring and put it on and became not a ghost anemonemore and had to hit the road and conquer stuff," She frowned sadly, "i would miss my friends."

"then, uh… don't?" John suggested.

"no blue boy you arent listening," She explained, hitting him in the chest, "i cant even handle it. thinkin aboat ditching my fronds. they meant so much to me since i been dead. ya feel me blue dweeb?"

"yes," John replied. "my friends mean a lot to me too."

"the serket twins," She began to explain, thumbing in the direction of Aranea. they just…bleugh look at em. so disgustinly adorbs together." Aranea let out a high pitched 'aww', clasping her arms tighter around Eridan's arm as she listened. "all likin each other and BEING like each other and junk. i dont think i could take it. i aint ready to say fareshell. araneas all like learnin to be unscrupulous never thought the girl had it in her. makes me so glubbin proud!"

Eridan let out a grunt as Aranea's grip tightened to far, feeling his arm produce a sharp pain due to crushing from the girls surprisingly hard pressed arms.

"i legit love vriskas stories as well they are punchy and hammy as fuck. girl think she in the movies or somefin lmao. we had our difs at first but really shes so badass i wish my old pals could a been half the give no fucks boss she is. all i ever wanted from my posse was somemoby i could thug it with. i mean w/o bein a psycho batshit skank. wont name names you know who i mean."

John shook his head. "uh, no?"

"as for soft core megido…" She glanced behind them at Aradia, who took a break from glancing around her at the chaos surrounding, and gave a solid kind yet unsettling smile. "yeah. um…" Meenah turned back around. "this bitch i could take or leave? iunno shes aight i guess." She stopped John in his tracks, causing Aranea to stop out of concern and pulling Eridan along with her, and grabbed the Heir by his clothes and bringing him close to her face. "but the point is blue chump im happy now. more than i was on my moon with my sweet gold statues an shit and more than i think ill be if i gotta be alive again and have to go knocking over galaxies or whatever to make a bomb new fishqueen empire but its killin me blue schmuck. its killin me to know you got that ring and knowin ill have to take it from ya some day!"

"wwhat the fuck is evven happenin i thought she was a mmph-" Eridan felt Aranea's hand shoved over his mouth.

"Shh! This is some delightful personal realisations!" Aranea whispered back to him.

"augh why!" Meenah shouted to a terrified John. "why you have to swim in here and present me with this codawful dilemma.! why do you have to be so lame and chumpy and such an obvious mark! your dork ass face just screams waaaah gimme a fuckin wedgie and take my ring! but i dont wanna but i think i gotta cause i mean come on OBVIOUSLY its mine, just why! W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y W)(Y!"

John rolled his eyes and shoved the Thief away, wiping his outfit down and exclaiming, "ok, jeez! i promise no matter what, i won't let you have the ring! i'll hide it or something. or better yet, i'll just give it to someone else before you get the chance to steal it. how does that sound?"

Meenah stared at the boy for a moment, her lip beginning to quiver and jumping to John, wrapping her arms around him. "T)(ANK YOU!"

John looked over at Aranea and Eridan, a look of confusion and shock on his face, but only getting a glare from Eridan and looks of proudness from Aranea, though the latter's was aimed more towards Meenah than him. He looked back at Aradia, though as expected all he got was her creepy and unflinching smile.

"Will you guys hurry up?" Vriska yelled from ahead, standing on the large yellow Light symbol. "This is seriously some of the most half assed treasure hunting I've ever seen."

John took the opportunity, gasping, "hang on, i'm coming!" and pushing Meenah away. He ran ahead of them, the platform beginning to descend as his boots hit the edge. Aranea looked to Eridan, gasping, and pulled Eridan along to the platform, narrowly catching the platform before it got too far along with Meenah and Aradia.


	44. Group: Descend

**Prince of Heart- Something something ripped directly from the comic something something we're almost at the biggest fuck around in Homestuck history something something.**

 **Apologies for no update last week, I planned on getting this out tomorrow but certain events prevented me. But hey, at least I'm not updating once a month.**

As the platform descended further into the ground with loud cracks and rumbles, rocky walls continuing to form around them in jagged and dangerous formations, Eridan looked around below him to see it begin to fade into a lighter yellow, and eventually a solid gray as it finally hit the ground with a click and a thump. The silent and musty smelling air was cleared as another click came from the middle of the platform, and a hole slid open to reveal a chest beginning to rise up, eventually stopping as it was fully penetrated past the platform just a little above the hole. It sat at about chest height to the two tallest members of the crew, Vriska's athletic figure and John's lanky form. Vriska smirked, and slowly paced towards the little stand and stopped within arm's reach of the thing, the rest of the group forming around it and gazing at the chest like a carnival attraction.

"so the treasures in that chest?" John asked, crossing his arms and leaning in.

"Yeah!" Vriska exclaimed, rubbing her hands together.

Eridan scowled. "thats it? wwasnt there supposed to be a fuckin wweapon that wwould kill wwhoevver the fuck this mr english is."

"Okay, first of all," Vriska said, turning to him, "don't say his real name! Lucky for me you're a dum8ass and don't remem8er his real name somehow."

"i got more important things to do wwith my time than remember some mythical monster tale for fuckin wwrigglers. not like he affects me."

Vriska opened her mouth to say something, but instead sighed and rubbed her forehead with her index finger and thumb. "I… There are so many points of time that I thought, 'man, he couldn't get MORE douchey and dum8 than this,' 8ut you always amaze me Eridan. You just plain amaze me. 'Mr English' affects you just as much as anyone else."

"Yeah Eridan," Aranea chipped in, placing a hand on his shoulder, "and if I'm correct, there's a chance you may 8e the hero from legends once foretold in our session!"

"wwait wwhat? wwhy the hell didnt i hear of this til noww?"

"I just didn't think it was important to reveal, as it's pretty much a fifty fifty chance anyway!"

Vriska rolled her eyes. "Nope, I've got much more important AND relevant expo to spout. Anyone that wants to learn about 8etter info from Serket Plus come gather around me."

Aranea shrugged her shoulders as the rest of the group went over to Vriska, pulling Eridan away gently to tell him about the legend. "I suppose you remem8er your Dancestor Cronus? He certainly is hard to forget due to his cocky and perpetually angry personality."

"yeah i wwish i didnt but wwhat the fuck does he havve to do wwith me and bein great?"

"Well," Aranea chuckled, "The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, but once he had a deeply abiding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to becoming a great wizard. Much like you with your studies in science!"

Eridan pursed his mouth. "yeah wwell im beginnin to change my vviews on that. but that doesnt matter wwhether it wwas magic or science anymore. all that matters is that i dont fuck up again."

"Well my my! How mature of a view if I can say. Well continuing , Cronus became convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. Though when pressed for the name of the man, he would not say it, claiming it was too dangerous to even enunciate. Part of his self-aggrandizing mythos was that this magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. But the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. The attack supposedly left him with his distinctive scar. But at some point he became disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to be passed on to his descendant," she pointed to Eridan with one hand, "you, or if his descendant proved to be as much of a failure as he did, which can 8e de8ated, then perhaps on some other Hero of Hope. I'm unsure why he suffered this crisis of faith, aside from the obvious reasons having to do with an overall lack of character, or any other redeeming qualities. Perhaps someone talked him out of his beliefs. Maybe a friend close to him. Or, if one is to believe his fantasy held any water, perhaps someone who was in league with the evil magician."

Eridan hid his arms beneath his cape, and sighed, "so then wwould i be considered a failure?"

"That may 8e. Then again, it may not. 8ack in the game, would you consider yourself confident or cocky a8out how you acted then?"

Eridan thought for a second. "i fuckin thought i wwas. i wwas wwillin to do the shit others couldnt or wwere evven afraid to."

"So when this "Mr English" comes to destroy you and your friends, what do you intend to do?"

"wwell i thi-"

"FUCK YOU!" he heard Vriska scream out, shocking him and making the Prince jump backwards to face her. He watched as she held her hands against her forehead, a typical sign of her telepathic abilities being used, with a strained and angry look on her face, as she glared up above them and away from the open and glowing chest. "FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" Eridan looked over towards John, the closest to her, and he looked on, breathless and speechless, before looking over to Eridan as well and shrugging in a confused manner. "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!" She pushed herself away from the chest, baring her teeth at some unknown entity. "OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO! OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE'RE G8ING TO LOOK AT WH8T'S IN THIS CH8ST RIGHT N8W! DO YOU HE8R ME Y8U F8CK? I D8DN'T SCRAPE AND CLAW MY W8Y 8ACK TO RELEV8NCE F8R THIS SHIT! I'M DOING S8METHING F8CKING IMPORTANT! AND WHEN I DO SOMETH8NG FUCKING IMPORT8NT, EVERY88DY 8ETTER D8MN WELL PAY ATT8NTION TO ME!"

"wut?" Meenah whispered between her breath, looking to the Maid of Time for help, earning just an unflinching smile once again.

"YOU DON'T TH8NK I'M ON TO YOU 8Y NOW? AS IF I C8N'T SENSE WH8N SOME SORT OF 8ULLFUCKERY IS AFOOT? YOU DON'T THINK 8'M WISE TO YO8R FUCKING G8MES?"

"who is she speaking to?" John whispered back to Eridan and Aranea.

"i dont fuckin knoww i thought she wwas crazy wwhen wwe dated but this is neww to me."

"GO AHEAD! TRY AND FUCK W8TH US SOME M8RE! MAKE MY D8Y YOU PI8CE OF SHIT! EVERYONE HERE WANTS TO KNOW WH8T'S IN THIS CHEST, SO THAT'S EX8CTLY WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SEE! THERE'S PRO8A8LY SOME IDEAL WAY FOR ME TO REVEAL THIS THING TO M8KE IT SEEM AS COOL AS POSSI8LE, 8UT Y8U KNOW WHAT! I DON'T GIVE A F8CK! I'M JUST G8NNA DUMP IT OUT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT HERE AND NOW!"

Vriska jumped away from the small stand the chest was on, bringing the glowing and bright object with her in a violent and jerking fashion. In one swift movement she upturned the box and threw the contents onto the floor, being a singular small human hive about three quarters the size of Eridan with an eerily white screen.

"THERE!" Vriska continued screaming, "FUCKING TH8RE! TAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAA! W8W WILL YOU LOOK AT TH8T!" She threw the chest away, the small thing clunking to the ground. "IT'S THE FUCK8NG TREASURE! LOOKS LIKE SOME K8ND OF HUMAN HOUSE SHAPED THING! H8LY SHIT, DIDN'T SEE THAT C8MING! NOW EVERYONE HOLD YOUR FUCKING H8RSES WHILE I ARTLESSLY EXPLAIN SOME MORE SHIT A8OUT IT! WOOOOOOOO! HERE FUCKING G8ES! AFTER THE GUY USED IT THAT ONE TIME, IT 8ECAME TOTALLY INTANGI8LE! SO WE CAN'T TOUCH IT OR PICK IT UP! THAT'S WHY WE 8ROUGHT ARADIA ALONG! SO SHE CAN MAKE IT LEVIT8 OR WHATEVER! IF WE 8RING IT NEAR HIM IT'S SUPPOSED TO ACTIV8 AGAIN OR SOMETHING! THAT'S HOW YOU USE IT AS A WEAPON I GUESS! 8UT THAT'S ALL I KNOW!" She pointed the sky angrily with an outstretched index finger. "THERE! YOU LIKE TH8T YOU FUCK? DO YOU LIKE HOW I JUST TOOK THE FUCKING PISS OUT OF TH8T COOL MYSTERIOUS TREASURE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DO YOU LIKE GETTING OWNED? 8ECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU JUST GOT! OWNED! SO WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT!" She raised her arms into the air. "SUUUUUUUUCK," and then threw them back down in the direction of the human hive, "IIIIIIIIT!"

The Thief fell backwards onto her behind, landing on the palms of her hands whilst huffing and puffing from her long-winded and loud rant to an unknown victim. The group stayed silent, gazing at each other awkwardly; John with a blank face, Aranea with a concerned look, Meenah with a suspicious look, Eridan with an annoyed glare, and Aranea with an unflinching smile.

"ok, i'm not sure what that crazy outburst was about," John said, moving forward towards the object, "but i think i'll just let that one go. you say this little house thing is intangible?"

Vriska sighed and nodded, "Yes."

"so i can't touch it?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what intangi8le means!"

John put his hands on his hips. "what happens if i do?"

Vriska pursed her lips. "I dunno if I would do that if I were you."

"i'm not too worried," John explained, crouching down next to the glowing object. "this is just my dream hologram self, or some nonsense. how many times has meenah stabbed me with her fork?"

"not enough blue stooge," Eridan heard Meenah whisper under her breath, "not enough by a nautical mile."

"and i always wake up fine!" the Heir continued.

"It's not just a8out you, John. This is a very powerful juju. You'd 8e messing with some forces we don't fully understand."

"sounds like a dare to me," Aradia chimed in.

"Oh my god," Vriska exclaimed. "Alright, whatever. I'll 8e fucked if suddenly I'm gonna 8e the lone voice of prudence and sound judgment in our 8adass pir8 clu8. If you really wanna plunge your fist through some sort of hole in reality, then 8e my guest!"

John wriggled his fingers as he held his hand up, before slowly dipping the lanky thing inside into the human hive object. As it made contact with the glowing hive, it began falling straight through, getting about half his arm through the thing before the results of his fuckery were shown. Eridan looked above him, seeing the fore half of John's arm appear out of some sort of small blue portal out of thin air, before another appeared nearby. A third emerged from another portal just above Vriska's head, a lone finger poking the scorpion tail shaped horn on her head, prompting a sharp 'ouch' from John. Vriska looked above her head, but John retracted his hand quickly before she could see the culprit.

He shook his hand, before plunging back into the hive with the same hand, much more confidently this time, but after a moment, he began slightly becoming incorporeal, his body seeming wavy and transparent as his hand remained in the human hive object. "whoa," he said, his voice sounding very grainy, "this is making me feel weird."

"John, will you get your hand out of there?" Vriska demanded. "You're vaguely fucking shit up in some totally am8iguous way."

A bright light began emerging from John, before within a flash and a scream out, he disappeared from sight, Vriska shouting out his name as he went. Almost a second after, a trident clanked to the ground where John was, Meenah letting out a frustrated groan as it did. Vriska pursed her lips, before standing up and barging over to the object John had just disappeared from, and attempting to shove her hand in, only to have it bash against the solid object with a clank.

"Hey, what's the 8ig deal?" Vriska exclaimed, rubbing her hand. "So John gets to go do whatever the hell this am8iguous thing even does and I get nothing from it, in SPITE of the fact that I've 8een searching for it for God knows how long? That's 8ullshit! That's f8cking 8ullshit! So fucking l8ng, so much shit I've d8alt with, and this is what I get? J8hn taking 8LL the gl8ry?" She hopped up and pointed to the imaginary being she had yelled at just minutes ago. "Is this your f8cking punishment, for everything I've d8ne you a8solute fucking cr8tin?"

As she continued her rant, Eridan nudged Aranea to grab her attention away. "so uh wwhat the fuck wwas that? wwas that wwhat wwe wwere wwaitin for?"

"I don't 8elieve so," she replied, "8ut you know how she is. She'll find another way to defeat him."

"G8d damn it you pi8ce of hoof8east sh8t! That was the 8nly plan I had and n8w I have fucking n8thing in mind to d8feat him! God f8cking damn it!"

"wwell this wwas a wwaste of time."

"I don't know a8out that," Aranea said, wrapping her arms around one of his own and resting her head against his shoulder as she watched Vriska's freakout, "it was nice to sail the high seas like my post-scratch self."

"i guess it wwas great to don the old flarp outfit and pillage the ocean like the old days. but fuck i wwas hopin there wwould havve been somethin better here. fuck. wwould you mind if i just wwoke up and joined real life again?"

"Not at all!" Aranea told him, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I shall see you in a little 8it Eridan."

"wwait wwhat do you mean see me in a lit-" Eridan started, before Aranea knocked his dream self out and woke him up.


	45. Eridan: Gaze

**Prince of Heart- Yo we getting there ladies and gents, we getting there.**

Eridan lent back on the door that had led to the roof, and subsequently led to the inside of the meteor, the metal knob jabbing into his right side as he stared up above him at some newfound planet. In front of him were his fellow alive coplayers; Terezi and Dave standing nearby each other, Kanaya holding up a still wasted drunk Rose, and Karkat up front being the first one out the door when the group was notified that they were nearing the new universe almost ten minutes ago. As he followed the curvature of the planet with his eyes, gazing at the dark green buildings, ones he vaguely made out as skyscrapers, and made an underlying groan of amazement as a large ball of electricity rose up above the planet, engulfing an entire small part of the planet. Around the planet was the endless void, as well as three other visible planets and a completely colourless and grey Skaia, the reason lost to Eridan.

Dave scraped his feet along the emotionless concrete, grabbing the attention of some of the group, including Eridan. "so has anyone figured out how were actually gonna stop this meteor? or was three years not enough time to solve that problem."

The group began to look at each other nervously, Terezi shrugging and Kanaya pursing her lips, with Karkat grabbing the sides of his head with widened eyes. "NO, WE HAVEN'T. OH MY GOD. WE'RE STILL TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, AND WE ONLY SEEM TO BE PICKING UP STEAM!"

"i dont think thats possible dude," Dave replied, putting a hand on his hip, "in fact im not sure we were ever traveling at light speed. i think maybe theres been some bogus science in circulation that we been chumped into gettin behind."

Karkat let his hands fall from his head, scrunching up his face. "WHAT?"

"just sayin," Dave told, shrugging.

"NO. *I'M* JUST SAYING," Karkat said, barging up to Dave and jabbing a finger into Dave's chest, "WE CAME ALL THIS WAY, AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"kar get yourself the fuck together," Eridan demanded casually, crossing his arms. "youre actin ridiculous right now. wwhy the fuck wwould there be no wway for this to stop?"

"OH, LOOK WHO SUDDENLY HAS SOME SORT OF BLIND FUCKING FAITH IN OUR SITUATION!" Karkat exclaimed, turning from his fellow Knight and facing the Prince. "WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS SORT OF HOPE BACK IN OUR SESSION MR 'EVERyBODY HATES ME?'"

"im just sayin kar that somethin wwill happen so wwhy the fuck evven panic?"

"WELL HAVEN'T YOU JUST INVERTED FROM YOUR INITIAL PERSONALITY. WHAT A WONDEROUS FUCKING SURPRISE THAT THE GODS THEMSELVES HAVE GIVEN US. YOU KNOW, I WOULD'VE LIKED IT BETTER IF YOU DECIDED TO PANIC WITH ME."

"then wwhy the fuck ARE you panicin?" Eridan said, moving from the doorway and towards his Moirail. "if im calm then there has to be nothin to wworry about right?"

"fish dude has a point shout man hes been overreacting hells of more than your nubby little horns which for fuckin once isnt a euphemism for human genitalia. so you should probably trust his pessimistic ass on this."

"Don'ot worry guy,s, I've vave a fealing evvvvvery thinks gogna work out," Rose told the group, giving a wink towards no one in particular.

"rose shut the fuck up," Dave told her, crossing his arms, before jumping at an odd and powerful bark appear seemingly out of thin air.

"dude did you just bark?" Dave asked, pushing Karkat jokingly.

"WHAT?" Karkat replied in defense, "NO I DIDN'T BARK. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU."

"why would i bark?"

Eridan watched Terezi, Kanaya, and Rose each looked on in awe as some dark, brooding figure appeared in front of them, skin and hair as black as coal, with the black and white God Tier outfit that Eridan had never viewed before, but with the obvious Space symbol on the figures breasts, but consisted of what seemed like a dress that extended to her knees with a pair of striped socks and red slippers. The figure seemed a girl, long and lanky with messy hair that fell to her hips, and an obvious pair of buck teeth that seemed counter intuitive to the menacing aura, both metaphorical and literal. Eridan stood up straight, scowling at the figure and pulling out his wand.

"WELL WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BARK?" Karkat continued, oblivious to the figure.

"because youre having a mental breakdown?" Dave argued.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A MENTAL GO FUCK YOURSELF? OR! OR WAIT! THEN USE YOUR ALLEGED "TIME POWERS" TO MAKE A COPY OF YOURSELF AND TURN THIS AUDACIOUS PHANTASY INTO A SENSUAL REALITY!"

Dave genuinely thought about it for a moment, before shrugging his shouders. "nah"

Another bark from the figure.

"THERE IT WAS AGAIN! THE BARK HAPPENED AGAIN!"

"wasnt me."

"WHO THE FUCK IS BARKING?"

"kanaya did you bark?" Dave questioned, pointing two fingers at the Sylph. "you fuckin with us Maryam?"

Kanaya made a low hissing noise in response.

TEREZI, WAS IT YOU?"

The Seer growled silently under her breath.

"WHAT IS IT? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

"maybe the mayor barked. mayor was that you?" Dave asked in a high pitched babbling voice, putting his hands on his knees and looking at the mayor, who blinked at Dave a couple of times with tired eyes. "haha i bet it was! god i love the mayor hes so full of surprises!" Dave chuckled, before finally gazing up at the lady and shutting his mouth promptly, his fellow Knight doing the same in awe of the young woman.

The lady formed a menacing grin on her face and waved at the group, greeting with, "hey guys!" With a wisp of her hands, the lady formed trails of green fire around her, her aura growing larger. "long time no see." And with the fire extending to the group, Eridan felt queasy and sick, before completely blacking out, the last thing he saw being the woman's menacing grin.


	46. Eridan: Regain Consciousness

**Prince of Heart- Siiiiiiiiiighs internally.**

 _Knack knack knack knack._

Eridan groaned as he laid face down on some sort of concrete surface, the smooth and grey ground taking up the majority of his vision. He heard some unknown being making a series of loud knacking noises, almost so often that Eridan could've sworn that there were multiple beings making the same noise. It reminded him of the angelic singing of his own planets inhabitants, how'd they always, no matter what, continue on singing to each other, almost as if it were a way they communicate with each other. That was before he blasted one of them away with his Ahab's Crosshairs, and their singing turned to violent and horrible screeching that would hurt Eridan's ears, and proceeding to attack him. Ah, good times.

He got himself up via his elbows and knelt up to reveal the source of the knacking, giving the Prince quite a shock; multiple little red crocodiles, barely coming up to his chin, all around him spouting out that knacking nonsense. Their teeth chattered as they kept flapping their elongated mouths up and down, and Eridan jumped back in surprise, falling on his backside and letting out a loud yelp. He huffed and puffed for a few moments, before settling himself down and grasping a better view of his surroundings. He seemed to be in some sort of multiple storied hive, seemingly like the one he had gotten made in order to proceed through the gates of the game and reach Skaia, though the drab building wasn't nearly as elaborate as his own. He looked at the one game component next to him, the device that created the weird purple object that allowed him to escape from the meteors grasp of destruction, and then looked out onto the sea of lava surrounding the building, dotted with gears and large clocks that acted as the land of the panet. He stood up slowly, rubbing his backside as he did, and finished with a final large stretch, splaying out his arms above him, before turning to the one doorway next to the device and walking through it.

As he entered the room, he was greeted by the overwhelming smell of apples in the air, and an object on the floor that nearly tripped the Prince over. He stumbled forward, catching himself before he fell flat on his face in the extremely messy room, and scoffed at the whole mess in the room. Not only was the floor covered in knick knacks, but various desks and surfaces were also scattered around with human trash, with the human's latrine situated in the middle. The human in question was Dave, standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips and examining the room in its entirety, which included some sort of music booth, a computer, another game device, and a strange and crudely drawn picture of a human male scrawled across the wall.

Dave heard the Princes footsteps and turned to face him, pursing his lips. "oh sup fish dude," he said, giving a short wave, "didnt realise i was getting visitors otherwise i wouldve scrambled some flakes up. not that i got any. i mean jesus come into my homeand demand food what do i look like a fuckin aquarium. get with seaworld if you wanna be fed. assuming you like being forced to do tricks against your will for nothing in return."

Eridan stepped over the mess below him to get closer to Dave. "i dunno wwhat the fuck youre goin on about for a fuckin nother conversation but ivve got more important matters. those bein wwhat the FUCK! wwhat the actual fuck just happened?"

"i dunno," Dave shrugged, "all i saw was furry jade teleport the fuck in all 'nothin personelle kid' style and next thing i know im on the ground waking up in my old room. so weird being back here," he said, turning away from Eridan, "cant believe how long ago it feels since i lived in this place. spent way too long wallowing in our own filth on that gnarly meteor thats for sure. this doesnt even seem like my room anymore. its like trespassing or something like im horning in on somebody elses life. a life lived most sweetly though i will admit."

"do you knoww wwhere evveryone else is though?"

"well the mayors here with me, thank god, but i dunno for everyone else. youd have to ask furry jade for that."

"yeah and thats another thing! the last time i saww that miserable fighter she-" Before Eridan could finish, he was interrupted by a flash of light behind Dave, a figure appearing in its place.

"oh!" the figure said, revealing himself to be none other than John. "hi guys!"

"john?" Dave asked sceptically.

"yep!" John replied excitedly. "it's good to see you two again!"

"wwhere the fuck havve you been you been since that dream?" Eridan demanded, straightening his cape.

"what do you mean? i already told you guys back on that stonehedge planet!"

"uh wwhat stonehedge planet?"

"okay lets just hold on a fucking moment," Dave told the two, holding up both his hands. "i feel like im way the caught back on this. how the fuck have you guys met?"

John went to say something else, but was hastily interrupted when his body began to waver into transparency. "uh oh, i really gotta go guys! let's catch up later guys, okay?"

"john wait," Dave said, before a flash of white blasted him away, and the two were left on their lonesome, save for the faint smell of fur in the room for some reason.

"hi guys," the two heard behind them, prompting the two to turn towards some feminine voice, revealing itself to be the young woman from when Eridan was last conscious standing on top of the game structure.

"oh god damn it," Dave exclaimed, sliding his face down his face.

"he was just here wasnt he?" the girl asked, putting a hand on her hip.

"no," the Knight simply responded.

"how do you even know who im talking about?"

"well i mean fish dudes here if hell make a good replacement for egbert who totally wasnt here in any shape or form."

"no of course i dont want him you idiot! well, i do kinda need to lock him up by himself, but hes not who im talking about!"

"oh sounds like youre fuckin disappointed you didnt get me wwhen you had the chance," Eridan told her, crossing his arms.

"shush you! ive got business between the adults in this group! so ill shack you up with gramps until this all blows over."

As the girl raised her fingers, Eridan threw his arms down in frustration. "i wwish for the god damn LIFE OF ME id stop bein tele-" And in another instant, he was thrown into complete darkness as he was teleported to another area of the Witch of Spaces choosing.


	47. Eridan: Meet Rogue

**Prince of Heart- As a human who's 70% Coke Zero I can say I'm probably going to be dependent on the stuff like it's crystal meth, so pray for me when that moment comes along.**

Eridan suddenly regained his consciousness, the first thing his eyes seeing being a light purple surface, before he felt himself falling backwards and immediately hit a hard marble surface below him. He heard a startled girlish scream, and himself let out a pained grunt as he collided with the ground with an audible clack. The Prince took a few breaths, hearing a series of 'omgs' from the girl in the room, before he let out a loud groan, finding his back with his hand and rubbing it lightly.

"omg fish boy on my floor fish boy on my floor," the voice said in a panicked tone, a series on clacks across the floor before he felt two small hands clasp against his side. He managed to wrestle past the pain and opened his eyes, looking up at the Caucasian, well-tanned, diamond shaped face of a human girl, straight blonde hair that went down to past her chin and ended with pink coloured tips, as well as a dark blue mask that did little to hide her striking pink iris'.

Eridan blinked his eyes a couple of times to gain his bearings, before letting the girl drag him up onto his behind. The rest of the room matched the floor, being a light purple, but the walls being made up of a series of bricks, as well as the roof being rougher concrete, and a single window and door at either ends of the room, the window blocked off by bars. The girl was crouched over him, her skinny figure practically hunched over the short but broad shouldered troll, but she wore what seemed like another God Tier outfit: sleeveless, it showed her toned arms and shoulder, as well as hugged to her figure, unlike most outfits, though that might just be true for all of her class, and had the Void symbol across her breasts.

Eridan took in a deep breath, and groaned, "yeah yeah im fine. i really fuckin hate that girl. like really fuckin despise that lanky piece of shit."

"now thats not very nice!" another voice exclaimed in the room, this time Eridan recognizing the nasally girlish sound.

Eridan turned to face the dog eared girl, the tall figure standing menacingly near the door with a book in her hand, which almost seemed as if it sparkled and glittered. "ugh you aint gonna snap me awway again are you just teleport me into lava and end my life."

"as appealing as that sounds with all youve done to me in the game emotionally, we still need you as we need that other pathetic hope player in the cell across."

"wait omg jakes here?" Roxy asked.

"yes, embarrassing pants and all. but that is not important right now." The girl let out a woof as she approached, pushing Eridan to the side and up to Roxy.

"lmao did you just woof?"

"yes i just woofed."

"hmm interestin very verily interestin. but it seems you can human talk as well?"

"yes i can human talk as well. extremely well i may add. so i see you two have met? roxy this is eridan, eridan this is roxy." She gestured to both Eridan and Roxy in sync. "roxy the only reason eridans here is cause i need him somewhere where he cant cause any harm to our plans. youre the one i need to speak to."

"listen evil dog lady i dunno who you think i am but im just a sly haxor girl that still feels sorta hungover from some kinda candy. i got no use to any doggy needs even as fuckin adorbs as you look."

The tall girl smiled. "naww, thank you! but im not adorable im more like… adorabloodthirsty. but dont get me off track!" Jade held up the book in her hand, one decorated heavily with glitter and sparkles, as well as various pictures of Her Imperious Condescension in all her gorgeous glory. "we have business to discuss."

"oh god i shouda known you were workin for the batterwitch!" Roxy claimed.

"dont insult her name! You were given this folder earlier, no? well i am here to make sure that you do as youre told." Roxy made a loud groan in response. "now take the file and review your assignment

"i already looked at it. its dumb and impossible and i aint cooperating w her regardless!"

"yes you will!"

"wwait wwhys the condescension here shouldnt she be dead or somethin in the old univverse?" Eridan questioned, prompting Jade to throw up one of her hands in dismissal.

"i truly do not have time for this!" the Witch of Space snapped at the both of them, pushing the folder into Roxy's face and causing a puff of glitter to erupt from it, as well as a grunt from Roxy herself. "OPEN IT!" Jade demanded.

"fine," Roxy pouted, opening the folder to a bookmarked file that Eridan couldn't see from his position. "ok i opened it," she claimed, before hitting it with the back of her hand and continuing, "hey look its the same shit as before. im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin." Jade nodded. "ok got it. let me give it a shot then." The Rogue wriggled one set of fingers lazily. "welp still impossible."

"yeah seems like a load of fuckin nonsense to me witch. i kneww you wwere daft in the game but i thought you wwould havve improvved over time."

"if youd just give me a moment to explain to he-"

"no just FUCKIN NO. wwith fuckin evverythin happenin so fast i havve not been able to get answers! wwhy the fuck is condescension here alivve? wwho is that mr english guy still? all i knoww is that he might kill me but wwho the fuck cares about that anymore! wwhy the fuck are you an animal now? is this an evvolution to wwhatevver humans actually are?"

"eridan youre really starting to tick me off!"

"oh YOURE startin to get ticked off? i havve been through so fuckin much in my life and this THIS is wwhere i put my god damned boot down! you think youre funny wwith your fuckin folder an-" Jade rolled her eyes during his rant, before moving forward suddenly and punching Eridan across the room, straight into the rock solid wall and bouncing him off and onto the floor.

"oh noes handsome fish boy!" Roxy exclaimed, running over to Eridan and crouching beside him.

"oww fuck that wwent a lot better in my head."

"you know," Jade said, shaking her fist nonchalantly, "for all your complaining about how much humans talk, you sure do say a lot of bullshit yourself." She teleported her way up behind Roxy, pulling her back by the hood and setting her on her backside. "now make it!"

"blehhhh," Roxy groaned, scrambling up and crossing her legs while Eridan attempted to get up, "fine why u gotta be so awful jade. really putting a cramp on us makin choice new friends w each other. oh well here goes. all twiddlin my fingers and such. busting out tha MAJYYXXX! prayin up a storm to the holy wizardchrist they aint fake..." Roxy took a deep breath, moving her fingers magically. "alright check it. one jank ass space egg coming up! ABRACA HAPPEN!" As if by the very magic both Eridan and Roxy had doubted, a green box with rounded corners appeared in her hands, though while Eridan was shocked that something actually appeared, Roy looked more than a little disappointed. "this is not a space egg."

"no, its not," Jade replied, with a tinge of excitement.

"balls guess i effed up my void spell. what is this thing?"

"thats a perfectly generic object."

"its perfectly generic?" Roxy asked, moving it around one hand.

"yes," Jade confirmed.

"dunno about that looks like a green cube to me with like slightly beveled corners."

"thats what a perfectly generic object is!"

"couldnt something theoretically be more generic than this?"

"how?"

"um… i dunno?"

Jade clicked her fingers. "exactly. if you want your powers to reach their full potential youre going to need to become more familiar with the fundamental building blocks of ideas and how they translate into more complicated thoughts and forms, then it becomes a simple matter of using your abilities to snatch those concepts from unreality."

"sounds too hard," Roxy claimed, throwing the object away and laying her side with her head in her hand, "better start killing me repeatedly and get it over with"

"we both know you dont think its too hard, you think it sounds like an interesting challenge!"

"dammit! fucken jakes wily bitch ass grandma."

"this is a very good start though, with a little practice im sure our empress will have her orb in no time!"

"well at least i know i can make a whole lot of these boring cubes if all else fails," Roxy said, picking up the cube with her free hand. "hey maybe ill build a sick fort outta them. hehehe jade tell me that wouldnt be so baller!"

Jade nodded hesitantly. "it would be fairly baller."

"fyeah!"

"keep trying for that orb though. i will return in a while to review your progress and remember, dont get any funny ideas, either of you."

"but p much all my ideas are funny."

"i mean dont try to escape! even if you are invisible i will be able to track you down instantly. my sense of smell is very good. i was aiming that more towards mr magicman over here." She gestured to Eridan with a finger. "these walls are tough but i dont want to have to kill you because you blasted out and attempted to murder her imperious condescension."

Eridan crossed his arms in pain and pouted, "fine wwhatevver."

Jade nodded. "now if youll excuse me i have some business to attend to."

"what business?" Roxy asked.

"i am still trying to locate my brother, but im having trouble picking up his scent. hes using his windy powers to obscure the trail and its giving me fits!"

The Rogue rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "windy powers eh? who is your bro?"

"woof!" Jade barked, before shaking her head. "i mean shoosh! that is enough questions from you. now i believe you have a space egg to conjure."

Roxy mumbled, "…egg… shove it."

"what?"

"…my fat ass."

Jade rolled her eyes and grunted, "farewell roxy." And with that, Jade disappeared with a flash of green, leaving Eridan and Roxy alone in the room.

Eridan sighed painfully, "god DAMN that fuckin girl still peevves me the FUCK off."

Roxy got up from her laid down position, playing with the cube in both hands. "yeah shes pretty bs but at least you aint gotta conjure up some stupid spike ball."

"wwell howw the fuck do wwe leavve?" Eridan asked.

Roxy shrugged. "i dunno we dont i guess. i dont wanna be killed ya feel me?"

"i couldnt care less if i wwas honestly."

"aw whats wrong fish guy?"

"eh its a long story honestly and i aint the best storyteller."

Roxy sat cross legged again, manoeuvring her hands as before to create something else. "eh we got time. ive got all the time in the world for someone such as yourself anyways. cause what else are a wizard lookin guy and leet gamer/haxor chick gonna do in a room alone for god knows how long?" She gave him a sly smile and wriggled her well kempt eyebrows at him, though Eridan was oblivious as to her true meaning.

"well i guess. then it all started wwhen i wwas four wwith my friend vvris…"


	48. The Prince of Light

**Prince of Heart: :o(**

"no no wwhat the actual fuck ARE you doin?" Eridan asked, watching Roxy wave his wand around in front of him after he let her borrow it in order to teach her some of his scientific wizardry. The girl had seemed quite eager once she learned of his wand and ability to shoot pure white beams from it, including the fact that she was 'like, the biggest wizard fan ev-ER!' which gave her some of his sympathy since he was once a major fan of the fictitious concept of wizards. Though this girl seemed quite set on the fact that he was one, and for some reason, Eridan had given up on his intense beliefs on the fact that magic wasn't real long ago and just gave a simple chuckle and shrug of the shoulders at her claim. He sat with his arms wrapped around his legs as he watched the girl twirl around the wand in fluttery but somehow still forceful in her movements, getting frustrated at her inept ability to handle the wand.

Eventually he got himself up, sighing, and paced over to the girl as she grunted in frustration, "ugh this is bs! does this thing even work or are you pullin my leg perhaps?"

"there aint no leg pullin here girl it should be pretty fuckin easy," Eridan replied, taking the wand off her and pointing it at a nearby wall. He took one sigh, and in an instant, shot a beam straight into the wall, making a shallow indent in the wall as it had all the other times he shot the wall. The girl recoiled at the sudden nature of the shot, before a wide smile spread to her face and she let out a giddy laugh, grabbing onto Eridan's shoulder and squeezing it tightly.

"now me now me!" she told him, prompting him to give her his wand, and she quickly aimed it at the wall and made a jerky movement in an attempt to cast it.

As her eyebrow burrowed and her lips pursed, Eridan groaned in frustration and moved around the girl to her right side. "no no youre doin it all wwrong damn it." He placed his arm around the girls own arm, grabbing her hand that held the wand, as well as moving in close behind her and producing a soft, surprised moan before the girl seed to get comfortable in his grasp. "firstly your grasp is real tight you gotta loosen it a bit." He shook her hand a little, loosening it. "then you really gotta make yourself frustrated. like wwhen im angry i really believve in the beam and it just fuckin appears."

"so i just have to believe?" Roxy asked. "thats what ive been doin tho."

"then i dont knoww wwhy it aint wworkin it should be firing off white hot loads of magic beams."

"hmm," Roxy pondered, "white hot loads you say? i mean i coud think of those but i dont think thatll help with this. but i could always go for a load lmao specially if its from your wand fuckin wonk."

Eridan felt the girl wriggle her lower torso a bit. "yeah thats wwhat wwere tryin to do here girl wwhy do you think im helpin you?"

Roxy softly groaned, "n/m."

"also did you just say 'lmao' out loud instead of actually laughing?"

"yeah i do it all the time cmon fish boy."

"huh. strange. anywway," he guided her hand slowly to point at the wall across from them that he had demonstrated his abilities on, "lastly you just point it wwhere you wwanna fire and then…" And as he had intended, a short beam blasted out from the wand and straight into the wall, making another indent in it.

The girl made a squeal of happiness, pulling away from Eridan and jumping up and down in excitement. "omg omg! that was the SHIT!"

"yeah it is real fuckin cool." Eridan held his wand that he took off Roxy again, sighing and examining the indents in the wall, scorched and blackened by the many shots to it. While the girl revelled in her giddiness, he sighed and looked around the room, focusing his vision on a blank slate of wall near him, thinking about the situation in hand, before he heard audible voices from the cell across from them, a girl and a boy voice. The boy had a posh accent, one much like Eridan, whilst the girl had a tone that Eridan recognized and remembered with certainty. He moved swiftly to the door, wrapping his hands around the bars and glaring through to the room across to the other, and noticing just what he thought it was. In that room, exactly like the one Eridan stood in now, contained two people; that green themed human, as well as Eridan's matesprit Aranea.

Roxy weaselled her way beneath Eridan so she could see out the window as well. "wait whats happening?"

Eridan's grip tightened around the bars as he scowled, "thats my girlfriend wwith that wwretchful human piece of garbage!" Eridan let go of the bars in anger, and paced to the middle of the room.

"aw girlfriend what- i mean oh man thats a tough break." Roxy moved away from the door and took place beside it. "sounds like you need to get a better one asap."

"i cant believve it that she wwould come back to life and the first the fuckin FIRST thing she does in go straight to that human bulge-sack!"

Roxy nervously chuckled, "hey now jake isnt that bad. like he wouldnt steal another guys gal."

Eridan gripped his wand tightly. "its not him its FUCKIN HER. wwhat kinda matesprit comes back to life and doesnt evven come to see her boyfriend but instead goes to see the boy RIGHT ACROSS THE FUCKIN WWAY. i need to fuckin get in there."

"but there is no way dude," Roxy stated, "didnt you hear jakes v v scary grandma?"

"she can hunt me dowwn all she wwants im a high blood i can take the hits." He turned towards the door, feeling a slight heat coming off his wand as his frustration grew. "but i aint lettin that girl not knoww howw angry i am at her." He gritted his teeth, the heat of his wand growing with each passing second, before he locked eyes with the door, raising his glowing white stick, and blasted a large beam through it, consequently smashing a hole through it and the door behind it. He heard both characters yelp through the blast, the smoke settling and finally looking at the two behind the door. Aranea stood still, shocked, still in her FLARPing outfit from the pirate ship, whilst the boy shook a little in his tightfitting and revealing outfit, entirely a lighter golden yellow with no proper pants, just what seemed like spandex underwear.

"Jesus scooby shagging christ bro you scared the scott out of me!" the boy said, adjusting his glasses. "But id recognise that scowl anywhere! Youre my friend from the dream bubble a few months back!" Eridan had forgotten his anger for Aranea, focusing it entirely on the boy as his wand began to glow again. "I cant believe it its been so long! How have you been with your rapscallion ways and fancy british accent like mine? Oh but where are my manners!" The boy outstretched his arms and began to approach him. "Come here buddy and give me a bro hug!"

As the boy approached, Eridan felt a familiar feeling inside him. That rage from three years ago that his former moirail had incited within him. That anger that he had been betrayed and used by others for their own gain but… he didn't know for what. This should be as simple as can be but Eridan was angry. So. Ridiculously. Angry. His matesprit stood there without a word, and the world seemed to move in slow motion, before with a flick of the wrist, he raised his wand and shot a short beam straight through the approaching human. No thought. No logic. Just pure, unadulterated rage. The boy fell back and hit the floor with a loud thud, blood spraying out and covering the floor as Eridan heard a large dong over the thud, but made nothing of it.

Jake English: Death Unjustified.

He heard a scream come from beside him, as well as a shocked but silent expression from his matesprit, before her teeth gritted and fist closed. "You. Y8U! Y8U… Y8U FUCKING IDI8T!"

Aranea raised her hand, Eridan feeling himself lift off the ground with it, and he let out one simple word, "aranea?"

And with one flick of her wrist, Eridan found himself thrown through the wall, blowing directly through the thick bricks, across the prison and ending up against a small wall, purple much like the rest of the buildings. He fell forward, landing on his hands and knees, before looking up in pain to see Aranea angry and seemingly intent on hurting him.

"You A8solute fuc8ing IDIOT!" she yelled at him, hovering menacingly over him. "I had everything s8rted out, and th8n you c8me in and destr8yed the only 8it of F8CKING H8PE I had to copl8te my plan!"

"i i im sorry!" Eridan stuttered in shock.

"Sorry? SORRY? Sorry w8n't bring b8ck th8 only ch8nce I had to s8ve this d88med session!"

Eridan felt himself lifted up again, before he was lifted up and thrown across to the opposite wall, crashing through it and starting to damage his hard to kill sea-dweller body. As he laid on the ground he felt his right arm and back start to groan in a stiff pain, and as he stood up, his legs started to wobble and his stomach ached him. His mouth leaked a little blood, the violet trail running from the right side of his mouth to his chin, then dropping off and onto the ground.

"Like I seduced you 8ecause I th8ught it would h8ve 8een useful to me, 8ut instead the 8nly fucking thing you do is d8stroy all h8pe for my fucking pl8n!"

"wwait you… you didnt evven like me?"

"Who the f8ck CO8LD? Look at y8u! Y8ur a pessimistic assh8le who will fucking kill his w8y out of a situ8tion he doesn't underst8nd! What have you g8t g8ing for you? I was only n8t disgusted by kissing y8u 8ecause at least y8ur hot!"

Eridan stiffened, his lip quivering as he attempted to prevent himself from crying. "i i…"

"And now y8u turned out to 8e a detriment t8 me rath8r than an asset! And I'll fucking k8ll you for all you've put m8 through!"

As Eridan saw her about to throw him across the way telekinetically, he felt a pair of thin arms wrap around his torso, and felt himself embrace the void as everything turned to black.


	49. Prince of Breath

**Prince of Heart- One more. One more until Game Over. I can't wait.**

Eridan very suddenly came to, light breaking into his sockets as his very quick transition from the Derse moon to wherever the hell he'd been teleported to. He let out a scream, his saviour letting their arms slide back from around him and then letting him fall to the ground, fidgeting in pain and heavily breathing as he attempted to find out where he was. He felt someone's hands wrap around his side, keeping him still as he panicked, as another voice shouted his name and the patter of steps running towards him. He heard someone slide to a stop, and place their hands on his shoulders and rolling him onto his back.

"ERIDAN!" he heard Karkat's familiar voice shout at him.

"Eridan?" Kanaya also questioned from further away.

Eridan opened his eyes, the first sight being that of his Moirail Karkat, as well as his newfound human friend from Derse Roxy. Karkat was a sight for sore eyes, his eyes giving off slight concern for Eridan with his mouth slightly open, whilst Roxy narrowed her eyes at the Prince before letting go of him and sitting back, putting her palms to her eyes and rubbing them. Karkat pulled Eridan up, his bones creaking and groaning in pain from his previous encounter with Aranea, and he got a better view of the area he was in. The area was lush with forest, almost so dense that trees nearly blocked out the skyline, along with various water sources around the trees that combined to make the air quite musty and moist, the heat not helping Eridan in his pain. He saw Kanaya standing a fairs way away from him, surrounded by many different coloured bottles of liquid and to one side another girl that Eridan didn't recognise, her outfit completely red as well as with red eyes, a crown, pitch-black hair, strangely metallic skin, and a trident held in her right hand.

"What are you two idiots doing here?" the strange human asked, narrowing her eyes and snarling at them.

"janey?" Roxy asked, forming a frown and standing up. "janey omg is that really you?"

"Yes Roxy it is indeed me."

"like, are you sure? you look a lot more…" the Rogue looked the Maid up and down, "metallic than usual."

"Yes, so it seems," Jane confirmed. "That is a side effect of her Imperious Condescension's fabulous influence," Jane then whispered, "trademark pending."

"oh janey cmon! thats bs youre better than that!"

"I really am not."

"UM, FUCKING *EXCUSE* ME," Karkat interrupted, banging his fist in the dirt to emit a thudding sound and garnering the attention of Jane and Roxy, "IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T REALISED, ERIDAN IS ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY FUCKING HURT."

"kar its fine just a flesh wwound," Eridan claimed, rubbing his legs.

"OH REALLY NOW? WELL STAND UP THEN ASSHOLE."

Eridan crossed his arms and pouted, "I wwould prefer not to."

"YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. YOU, METAL FUCKWIT!" Karkat pointed to Jane. "YOU NEED TO HEAL HIM LIKE YOU DID TO ME."

"I'm afraid I am not allowed to unless ordered by her Imperious Condescension or Jade," she jumped off her rock and approached Eridan and his carer. "How did this even happen?"

"id rather not talk about it," Eridan said looking away.

"eridans crazy girlfriend tried hittin up english and she went batshit on him after he killed jake outta jealousy," Roxy explained.

"I'm sorry, what?" Jane asked spitefully, narrowing her eyes at Eridan. "You killed Jake? He was going to be my king, you imbecile!"

"wait king?" Roxy questioned, standing up. "janey him and dirk literally JUST broke tf up hol off a bit and wait for the wonds to heal before makin your move."

"Wait Eridan," Kanaya said, drinking from one of her potions, "You Killed Someone? Because You Were Jealous?"

Eridan avoided her eye contact. "i wwasnt thinkin. besides he looked like he wwas actually tryin to steal my matesprit. but…" Eridan had been trying not to tear up, but eventually burst out sobbing into his lap, his Red-blooded Moirail beside him patting his back and rubbing his knee softly.

Roxy sighed, "turns out she was tryna steal jake or somethin and ended up slammin him bc he foiled her evil alien plans by killin jakey. she uh also told eridan she never loved him and that's when i had to teleport him here."

"Oh." Kanaya let go of the potion and walked over to the rest of the group. "I… I Am Sorry Eridan. I Suppose I Would Have Done The Same Thing In Your Position However Inexcusable It Is."

"Wait just one moment," Jane said, "someone is trying to use Jake? For what purpose?"

Roxy shrugged, "no clue never said."

Jane sighed, before turning away and floating up into the air. "Wait here. I'll deal with this." And with that she accelerated off the planet into the unknown, leaving just the group alone.

"Can You Walk Eridan?" Kanaya asked, crouching down beside him.

"my legs are real numb kan but maybe."

"DON'T WORRY DUDE, I GOT YOU." Karkat said, pulling Eridan up and wrapping Eridan's arm around his shoulder, but not before Eridan whimpered and screamed out in pain as he stood on his right leg specifically. "IT'S OKAY DUDE, REALLY. I'VE GOT YOU."

Eridan took a few hurried breaths before nodding. "okay kar okay."

"where can we even go?" Roxy asked, standing up with Kanaya.

"I'm Not Sure But… Maybe… Do You Know Where Rose Might Be?"

"i dunno im afraid."

"Hmm. Maybe We Can Check In On Her House? That Does Seem To Be A Theme With Where Kar And I Were Teleported."

"oh shit uh well i could try. was hers the light glowy one the lava one or the black gooey one?"

"The Light One."

"aye aye captain but im still gettin used to these teleportin powers."

Roxy moved over to Kanaya, wrapping her arms around the Sylph's slender waist, and making the Sylph elicit a small surprised grunt. "I Sure Hope Rose Does Not See Me In The Arms Of Her Human Guardian Figure From Another Universe."

Roxy giggled, before the two teleported away, leaving Eridan and Karkat on their own. "SO DUDE, WHERE DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD GO?"

Eridan sighed, "kar i dont evven knoww. maybe wwe sh-"

Before Eridan could finish, he heard the distinctive noise of someone teleporting into the area, and turned to face the familiar scowl and growl of the Witch of Space, Jade. She made several fiery green spirals around her, and pointed at the Prince first.

"you! ive got a god damn bone to pick with you!" Her hand drifted to the Knight. "ill deal with you later!" She floated across to the pair, kicking Karkat away and grabbing Eridan's arm, before teleporting Eridan away for the hundredth fucking time.


	50. The Prince of Hope

**Prince of Heart- It's been a while. Sorry for the delay folks, but you know how life goes.**

* * *

 **S: Game Over.**

Eridan came to, much too used to the feeling of teleportation via others by now, and felt himself slump to the ground as his captor let go of him. He hit the concrete hard, a wave of heat hitting him, the ground slightly warmed and hurting Eridan slightly. He landed on his back, giving him full view of his captor and attacker, Jade, her ears twitching, hands balled up into fists, and a large snarl on her face as a light source illuminated behind her.

He slowly backed up, his pain disregarded for his newfound fear, as the girl barked, "what have you DONE! what the FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!"

Eridan froze up, ironic for such a heated location, and said nothing.

"oh for- come here," she demanded, barging over to him, grabbing him by the collar of his cape, and pulling him up, giving him full view of where he was, and the problem Jade seemed upset for. He was back on Dave's planet, easily told by the lava sliming its way around the platform the two were on, as well as Dave's house seen in the background. But the planet seemed in disrepair, obvious bits of it broken off and destroyed from some sort of impact from an extremely large object over the horizon. The problem seemed to generate from whatever that was, Jade gesturing to the horizon, before throwing him down and hurting his back just to add to the list.

He made a grunt as he hit the floor, the concrete doing nothing to help his wounds, as Jade screamed at him, "what the actual FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? i told you to stay in your fucking cell!"

Eridan huffed, "i fuckin tried wench! but things changed!"

"well congratulations you idiot! now look what YOU did!" Jade teleported the short distance between them, ending in her kicking Eridan's head and knocking him back to the ground. Eridan felt blood spout from his nose, landing somewhere on the ground behind him, before he felt a hand grab the collar of his sweater and pull him up.

He felt Jade's warm breath against his face, and she snarled, "i thought i was doing myself a favour by keeping you alive but i guess i was WRONG!"

She kneed Eridan in the stomach, receiving a grunt from him in response, before throwing him across the space. Eridan felt himself float in the air for a moment, before he hit and slid across the ground for a couple of seconds and stopping at the edge of the concrete platform, just over the lava that was less than a few dozen feet below him.

"i mean how hard is it to do as you are told?" Jade asked him rhetorically, stomping towards him. Eridan's whole body ached, and he found himself almost too weak to get up, before Jade got to him and placed her foot over his chest and slowly slid him over the edge, but not enough to fall. "how hard is it to stay in your GOD DAMN CELL?"

Eridan gave a groan in response, barely able to speak with the small amount of blood swishing in his mouth, emoting an angered growl from Jade, but the two were interrupted by another voice in the mix.

"jade!" Eridan heard Dave shout, garnering the dog-girls attention to behind her. "paws off the fish dude you damn furry."

Jade narrowed her eyes, and slid the Prince back from the edge, earning at least a tiny bit of relief from him, if none at all in his wounded state. He managed to crane his head up and gaze at the sight before him: the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, the Knight with his sword drawn and the Witch with her fists clenched. The Knight floated down, landing lightly across from the two as the Witch approached him.

"dave what are you DOING?" Jade demanded to know.

"i heard you screaming and i thought there was a mosh or something that fur people are into but turns out youre just beating on fish dude. you need to stop jade."

"why do you care?" Jade smirked, "i thought youd be making out with the mayor or something?"

Dave pointed a finger at her. "hes too innocent for that and you know that."

"so what dave? are you going to kill me?"

"you know i wont jade. but im going to snap you out of whatever the fuck this is one way or another damn it."

Jade cracked her neck slightly, before pulling out some unknown sword from her strife deck, the silver lining gleaming off the light around them, and quickly teleporting away from her current position. She reappeared a short while later, now in front of Dave just a dozen feet in front of her, and brung her sword down to him, but not before it was blocked by another sword coming from Dave's side, appearing to be a second version of Dave. The second version then pushed her back, allowing for the actual Dave to jump forward and slam a kick into Jade's face. She flew back, hitting the ground with a thump, but regained her composure and landed on her hands and knees after the first bounce. The second Dave disappeared back to wherever, and the original raised his own sword to block his body. Jade jumped up, and sprinted back into Dave, taking her sword upwards as she approached. Dave dodged to the left, the sword just narrowly missing, and brung his sword across to block Jade's obviously telegraphed attack. The swords clashed, a loud clank sounding, and Jade growled and pulled herself towards him in an attempt to intimidate her foe.

Eridan groaned, his wounds aching him, and spat out a glob of blood. He shook his head lightly, before attempting to stand up and utterly failing as he fell onto his back as soon as he attempted to push himself up with the palms of his hands.

Dave flew forward fist first, cracking it across the furry girls face and pushing her back a little on the heels of her red slippers. She stopped, barked at the Knight, and swung her sword in a counter-attack, clashing with Dave's own sword. She quickly moved back and swung again, and again, and again, but Dave managed to block each subsequent swing with more and more strain on himself. Eventually he gave out, and Jade pushed his sword away and kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying. He landed and slid a few feet away, eliciting a loud groan from him as he stopped. He regained himself and jumped up, but not before Jade teleported herself towards him and punched him square in the nose, bonking him away from her.

Eridan huffed and puffed, looking directly above him and bracing himself, before rolling over onto his stomach for a better chance at getting up. He laid his arms out and used them to push himself up, shaking very heavily as he wriggled up to his wobbly knees. He managed to push himself up and stay still for a moment, gazing at the beat-down of the Knight in front of him. He gazed to the skies, watching as another planet flew through space, disappearing over the horizon of Skaia and out of Eridan's view for God knows how long. His head fell in line with the now one sided fight in front of him, and he watched the Knight get kicked in the groin again and fall backwards onto the floor, finally taken enough as he groaned out loud to no one in particular. The Witch paced over to him, her sword glinting in the Lava's light, but stopped when the Prince screamed out to her.

"WWITCH!" Eridan shouted, progressively slinking up with all his strength. "lay off the fuckin human. if anyones goin to beat up their friends…" he finally used the last of his strength to push himself to his feet, clutching his stomach in pain, "its gonna be ME."

The Witch fell silent, before grinning slyly. "oh well this is sweet! im driven to tears of joy." She turned to Eridan, and snarled at the fish boy.

Five.

Eridan pulled his wand from his Strife Specubis with his free hand, huffing and puffing as he counted his individual deep breaths in between the fastly paced ones.

Four.

Jade growled lowly, approaching Eridan slowly with her sword raised in front of her.

Three.

Dave slowly raised himself up, seeing the two with weapons raised, looked towards Eridan and shouted, "eridan don't! let me handle this!"

Two.

Jade scowled, a toothy one made to scare and frighten, and screamed, "everything would have been fine if you had just stayed IN YOUR FUCKING CELL!"

One.

Eridan felt his heart stop, but in the time around him seemingly slowed, he waited a moment with his wand raised for something. Anything really. Just to make an excuse not to fire. But the Witch started at him, teleporting the distance in an instant, and he was left no choice. Just like the Witch before her. Just like that stupid Witch. And he let off a burst of blinding white magic at her, covering the few feet between them, but not before a voice shouted something incomprehensible and a figure made it in time between them to catch the initial blast. It took a few seconds before Eridan had realised what he'd done, his wand letting off a significant heat compared to the lava, and his wrong doing literally staring him in the face.

Dave.

The Knight of Time stared at Eridan blankly, his glasses eventually falling off his face to reveal his candy red eyes widely opened in shock. His mouth soon gaped open, and Eridan's own attention was soon drawn to Dave's stomach, which stood transparent and heavily bleeding in a perfect hole formation, Dave's hands slowly covering it. The Knight looked behind him, to see if his foolhardy martyr attempt worked, but saw instead the Witches body strewn on the ground behind him, another gaping hole in her stomach.

Jade Harley: Just Death.

The Knight turned back to Eridan, still and silent, before Eridan opened his mouth and stumbled out, "i… i didnt mean to. i wwas just tryin… tryin to…"

Dave coughed and sputtered heavily, falling to the ground on his hands and knees and spitting blood on the concrete while wobbling heavily, almost as if living was a strain on him. "im fine. im… fine. i…" he slowly looked up to Eridan, his eyes looking heavy, and continued, "i dont blame you. its not your fault dude i… i was… stupid. dont beat yourself up over it. youre… youre not a bad guy…"

Eridan felt a chill run down his spine, as he watched Dave fall to the ground, finally out of breath, out of life, out of Time.

Dave Strider: Heroic Death.

Eridan slumped his arms beside him, the wand now ice cold in his right, and stared down at the limp bodies in front of him. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault. Dear God, it wasn't his fucking fault. He was just defending himself, and that Witch gave him no other choice. The Witch… another Witch. Another bout of self-defence.

He was interrupted when he heard a couple of female gasps from his left, turning suddenly to see Rose and Kanaya standing on the edge of a gear that connected to the concrete platform Eridan was on. "Eridan What Has Happened Here?" Kanaya asked.

Eridan opened his mouth and shook his head lightly. "i… i didnt… didnt mean to he just…"

Rose held Kanaya back, a sceptical and judging look on her face as she gazed from Eridan to the bodies, and questioned, "Eridan, did… did YOU kill them?"

"jade ran at me and… and i had to then davve… davve just…"

Kanaya scoffed, "Eridan I Can Not Believe This. I Thought You Had Changed!"

"i did! i havve! it wwas an accident and he just jumped… he just…"

Kanaya scowled, "I Just Can Not Trust You On This Eridan. You Did This Once Before And I Trusted You. You Have Absolutely Disappointed Me."

"Eridan… we all trusted you," Rose scolded him, pushing forward until she was on the same concrete platform. In the distance, just a few what seemed like miles away from them, a battle raged on with a large beam shooting off and various objects flying around the space.

"i didnt… i wwasnt tryin to…"

"Shut it," Rose demanded, pulling her wands out of her Specubis. "We're done Eridan. You want to murder your friends? Betray us all? We learned from Roxy about killing her friend out of jealousy. And now Dave and Jade? I'm sorry it came to this Eridan. Really."

Before Eridan could protest again, Rose raised her wands up and shot two Light filled beams from each, before they combined together mid-air to make a larger beam. Eridan reacted tellingly, scared and confused, and shot a beam of Hope from his own wand, and the two collided between the two strifers. Eridan felt himself pushed back, unprepared for such an attack, but managed to dig his shoes into the dirt to prevent himself from being thrown back, and managed to hold Roses beam back with his own. He was still in heavy pain from earlier, but managed to hold off his wounds to repel his attacker. He looked up to see Rose ahead of him, backed by Kanaya with a hand on her shoulder, and a determined look on her face.

Eridan looked back down to his feet, seeing even with his heels dug he was slowly backing up from the force. Why were they attacking him? It wasn't his fault he killed them. It was self-defence. Jade attacked him, and Dave jumped in the way. There was nothing he could do, wasn't there? He couldn't have helped it. Right? It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault.

Eridan looked back up, now a wide scowl on his face. He felt his anger swell, all focused on his former friends. They wouldn't listen. They just wouldn't listen. So what? It's not his fault. It's self de-fucking-fence. As his anger grew, the beam became stronger, beginning to push back and back, further and further. And as it went further, it pierced through Roses beam, making its way quickly to the Seer and the Sylph, and he noticed Roses look fall, before his beam pierced directly through both of his attackers. In a moment, Roses beam fell along with her body, before deactivating, and she and Kanaya fell to the ground, Kanaya dead on contact with Rose just barely alive. Eridan huffed as they did, Rose letting out an ear piercing scream of pain and proceeding it with a series of grunts and groans.

"Oh you… damn you to hell Eridan!" Rose yelled out, as Eridan's anger welled up inside of him. "I can't… can not… believe you. I thought you were… were better… but I guess you proved me wrong, huh? I hope you… hope you rot… in… hel… l…"

Eridan felt a little bit of him fall, something inside break, though his expression remained unchanged, as he watched Rose fall limp on the ground.

Rose Lalonde: Heroic Death.

Eridan's scowl remained as his gaze lingered, his wand now slowly cooling down. He felt so angry. Furious even. He tried to tell them. But they gave him no choice. Jade, Rose, Kanaya… they didn't leave him any other option. They didn't… did they? And now… now there's nothing. The land was silent. Four bodies lay around him, two behind and two in front. All his fault. But at the same time, he couldn't help it. It was self-defence. Wasn't it?

Eridan lost his interest in the bodies, looking over in the distance beside him where he saw the blast a few miles from him. It was his only chance. Whatever the hell happened over there was his only interest, the only way to get his mind away. So he turned, and walked along the platform towards it, the concrete clacking against the heels of his shoes, and crossed over onto another platform.

And before he knew it, another.

And another.

The time passed and Eridan never even realised it. He got closer by the minute, but he never realised it, instead only focused on whatever was happening over here, and before he even knew, he was there, almost like magic. In front of him floated around various debris from the destruction before wherein Dave's planet and another unknown planet were collided, as well as two figures up a series of stairs, one holding the other by the neck. One Eridan easily recognised, Her Imperious Condescension herself, and…

Aranea.

His heart skipped a beat at that moment, watching the Cerulean-Blood's scared expression scream out for help. The love of his life, the only matesprit he'd ever had, and the same person who hurt him immensely just half an hour ago, though it seemed like sweeps by now. He felt something well up in him, something different from his usual anger. From the anger he experienced one and a half sweeps ago. From any anger on the meteor. From the anger he felt just minutes ago. It was larger, seething, barely containable. And it wasn't like he planned on containing it.

He raised his wand, aiming the slender thing up at the two figures, and fired off a quick beam, though not aimed towards his ex-matesprit. Instead, this beam was fired into Her Imperious Condescension, passing directly through the older troll, and making her stop in her tracks. Her grip loosened on Aranea, letting her drop to the floor below, and she looked off into the distance for a moment, before falling down, over the edge of the concrete and into the bright lava below. Aranea slowly slunk up onto her hands and knees, coughing and wheezing, before looking over at Eridan and freezing.

She slowly stood up as Eridan upped the stairs, and nervously exclaimed, "Erida-" a series of hacks and coughs, "Eridan! I… uh… I can't 8elieve you uh… you saved me!" She stood up finally, the wobbling of her legs subsiding. "Thank you so much!" Eridan stood still at the top of the stairs, and Aranea began to approach. "I can not even 8egin to thank-"

Within a moment Eridan raised his wand, and shot off a beam directly through Aranea, stopping her in her tracks. "THAT wwas for betrayin my trust." He began to walk forward, firing another beam directly through the shocked girl, who seemed pained but somehow undamaged from the beam before. "THAT wwas for insultin me."

She raised an arm slowly as she held her stomach. "Eridan…" then another beam was shot through her, causing her to scream out in pain.

"THAT wwas for throwwin me around like some ragdoll." Eridan finally made his way to Aranea, grabbing the wounded girls arm and bringing it up. It was mesmerising; she seemed to be healing very quickly before his eyes, which confused the Prince. He then realised she wasn't even looking at him, but at her hand, which contained a small ring around one of her fingers. Then Eridan remembered a story, long ago, that she told him about; about a ring that brought ghosts back to life. And so he slowly guided his hand up her wrist, wrapping his thumb below her ring.

He saw the girl quiver, and flicked his thumb up, flicking the ring off and bouncing it off onto the ground beside Eridan's feet. "No!" she cried out, to no avail.

"and THIS is for betrayin my lovve and fuckin usin me you lowwly wwench."

Aranea's lip quivered, and she cried out one thing, "Eridan, please! I love you!"

Eridan stared at her for a moment that seemed to last forever, before finally letting out a final blast from his wand directly into her stomach, prompting a loud cry of pain from the girl. Eridan then pulled away, letting the girl fall backwards and over the edge of the concrete, into the lava below. Eridan shed no tears but… he felt a sort of empty now. And fell to his knees, letting his wand fall beside him, as he stared out into the vast empty sea of lava.

His name was Eridan Ampora. He was one of the twelve trolls to create our universe. Like the others, he had played through the game, won the prize, only to have it swiftly taken from him by the monstrosity Jack Noir. Like the others, he had fallen back to a secret base on a meteor far from Skaia, and began hassling the four kids that had created said monstrosity. Like the others, he was scared, and sad, and found himself devoid of all hope.

But now he'd snapped, for a second time in almost two sweeps. He'd just killed the Sylph he loved, the friends he'd been grateful for, and the human girl he despised beyond all measure. Ironic, was it not? The Hero of Hope destroying all hope there was for a happy ending for his team? He supposed it was a common occurrence by now, but he'd never get used to it. And now he knelt on the concrete platform of the planet he'd been teleported to, the lava flowing in and out below him.

He'd lost. Everything was gone. All thanks to him. The Destroyer of Aspirations. The Angel of Wrath.

The Prince of Hope.


	51. Eridan: Greet Prince

**Prince of Heart- Well here we are. Not finished yet. Let's continue shall we?**

"Yo," A voice spoke up from behind the Prince, startling Eridan and snapping him out of his sorrowful and regret-filled gaze at the floor. He perked up slowly, seeing the wide horizon of lava and debris from the extra planet crashed into the side of Dave's planet from what seemed like ages ago, though he had no clue how long he'd been on his knees at the edge of the platform for, and he slowly looked behind him to whoever spoke up. To his surprise, it was a face he'd only seen once before long ago, back at the dream bubble where he met the Jake and Roxy humans, the human male that had been there as well that Eridan never learned the name of. He wore an outfit Eridan had seen before, the God-Tier clothing being that of his own God-Tier self's he remembered seeing when healing up the Mayor. A set of baggy pantaloons that stopped at the knees, a shirt with baggy sleeves, and a crown set atop his gelled and styled head, all drenched in dark and light pink colours, with a pair of pointy shades hiding his eyes.

The boy floated a little before setting himself down, and Eridan sighed, "wwhat do you wwant?"

The boy shrugged his shoulders awfully limply, and monotonously replied, "Nothing really. I was just flying up through space when I see all this destruction around." The boy made his way beside the Prince, standing with his hands on his hips as he gazed along the lava filled coastline. "I guess I'm still kind of in shock at how much of a colossal failure I am."

"yeah wwell youre talkin to the wwrong guy if you wwant to not be a huge wwaste of space," Eridan snapped, turning his attention to the sea again.

"Shit, sounds like you had a bad day bro," he clicked, gesturing to the floor. "You mind if a fellow Prince sit down?"

"i honestly couldnt fuckin care less.," Eridan told him, shaking his hand in dismissal.

The shaded boy nodded his head solemnly, slowly sitting down and wrapping his arms around his legs next to the kneeling fish boy. The two sat in silence, looking out blankly over the orange, glowing sea below them, which seemed to stretch on for miles and miles.

The boy raised his hand and rubbed his eyes under his glasses, dishevelling them, but quickly rearranged them properly. "So, I guess I'm Dirk," the boy said, extending his hand stiffly to the Prince of Hope.

Eridan looked over at the hand, before turning his head back without shaking the boy's gesture. "eridan."

The boy pulled his hand away slowly, shaking his head lightly. "Well I guess it's good to meet you again. It's been a few months, huh?" Dirk sighed slowly. "I can't believe I… I came so late. Who was that chick that even teleported me away?"

"did she look like a beast?" Eridan asked solemnly.

"Oh shit, yeah. She looked like a God damned dog crossed with my ex-boyfriend and all condensed into a tall bucktooth lady. You know where sh-"

"i killed her," Eridan said bluntly, unflinching.

"Oh. Well I guess that's good, but with everything I got going on I still need to know what happened to everyone. You know where Jane is? Black hair all styled, glasses, very motherly voice?"

"she flew off somewhere. probably dead."

Dirk made a clicking sound, and continued, "Well what about Roxy? Short hair down to her shoulders with pink tips, pink ey-"

"disappeared. probably dead."

Dirk inhaled a frustrated breath of air. "Fair enough. And what about my ex, Jake? You met him with me a whi-"

"i killed him too."

Dirk whipped his head towards the fish Prince, mouth holding open slightly. "What? Why?"

"does it matter? i couldnt givve a shit if i tried. kill me beat me up do wwhatevver you fuckin wwant. i just cant care anymore after evverythin ivve done. evverythin thats happened."

Dirk closed his jaw, taking a deep breath and letting any emotion flow out with the singular breath, and looked out toward the destroyed planet collided into their current one. "So what about everyone else? Is anyone you know alive?"

Eridan shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "i havvent seen any. ivve killed six people. fivve of them good people. i think there might be but i just… i dont really deservve to see them anymore."

Dirk nodded his head slowly and thoughtfully, and said, "Well I get it. Really, I do. Not to that extreme level, but I do. I alienated some of my friends, even the guy I lo-... was in a relationship with. And looking back… I was trying to protect them. Break them down enough so I could build them up again as heartless fighting machines, friendships and personalities be damned. I thought I could turn them into me. But I never realised that's not how people work. Even logically. They're intricate, varying, never the same. Some might be similar but… never the same. I guess it took Jake breaking up with me and my dumb AI self telling me off to realise how wrong I was. And now… I failed. Everything has come crashing down. Everything I actually unironically liked might be gone and it's all because I wasn't here in time. I failed. Failed everyone. Failed everything."

Dirk sighed, and Eridan finally looked over at him. "fuck. i mean… just fuck. life sucks. but… i kinda wwanna check if anyones alivve noww. i guess just to figure out wwhat the fuck im gonna do wwith myself noww."

"Yeah I… I'm going to be here. Tell my friends I said yo if you see them."

Eridan nodded, standing up slowly, gazing out one last time, then turned away and began to walk, hoping to find anyone. Anyone at all.


	52. Eridan: Greet The Maid of Life

**Prince of Heart- God damn one of these days I'm gonna have a solid release schedule, mark my words.**

Eridan slid his arms beneath his cape, hiding his metaphorically blood soaked hands from the world and prevent further blood shedding. As if there was more to shed than he'd already done. The conversation with Dirk left him starved; he needed to find someone else that survived, literally anyone else that he could just… talk to someone he knew. What about he had no idea. Roxy despised his guts, John was wherever the fuck in the universe, Karkat probably died doing something good for his friends, Jane was off being evil, Terezi was doing whatever the fuck, and Gamzee was scumming around somewhere being a bad person. Maybe he didn't want to see Gamzee, but the rest he would just love.

He walked from platform to platform, the lava bubbling and coursing around the concrete in an attempt to travel to some unknown point. Eridan had no idea where to walk to. He didn't particularly care though. All he had in mind that staved off any sort of depressive thoughts and the sort was to just keep walking forward until he found something- anything- to give him a reason to keep going. He really didn't want to go but… he also felt like he had nothing. No reason to stay in the universe. No reason to be alive right now. But not only that but… he felt like he didn't deserve to be alive? What reason would there be to keep him here other than pure luck? That hooky about luck and magic can't have been real… could it? Eridan had begun to believe that maybe miracles were real, after all, what else could explain him being alive right now?

"Oh," he heard a metallic and cold voice speak up, shocking him out of his stupor, "it's you."

He looked up from his feet, looking at the source of his disruption, and saw that it was, in fact, Jane, still alive after everything. She was completely still, frozen in mid-air, formerly staring over the body of Jade and now glazing over Eridan. Eridan must've walked far, having walked all the way back to the scene of his multiple murders without even realising it, spacing out hard along the way.

"oh uh hey," Eridan nervously replied to the metallic woman. "i thought you wwould havve been dead."

"The same can be said for everyone here, but it's wise to assume that until proven otherwise. I assume this is your work?" She claimed, gesturing to the dead bodies below her.

"is it obvvious?" Eridan coyly asked.

"It has pangs of you all over the place. But the smell of magic in the air is the dead give away."

"magic? huh." Eridan limped himself forward, crouching over the bodies.

"Why'd you do it? I thought these were your friends? Jade excluded."

"so did i. but people make mistakes."

"Not of this calibre. Seems like you were harbouring some ill intentions to have killed four people, three of w-"

"sevven people," Eridan corrected. "se… sevven people."

"Seven? I only calculated four here."

"aranea her condescension and jake. remember?"

"Oh, that was you who killed our glorious empress? The guts on you. I should throw you into the lava and watch your skin melt off your bones for your insubordination."

"then wwhy dont you? i wont stop you."

"What's the point? I don't have a leader anymore."

"then do wwhat you think is best. wwhy the fuck are you still a robot under her control if shes dead?"  
"I don't know. I guess I really got nothing else. Don't see a reason to turn back to being an unconfident loser with no confidence." Eridan stared at her for a moment, her gaze falling away from him as he remained silent and falling it back towards the fallen. "I suppose nothing matters now. Most of the needed people are dead, supposedly mostly by your hand, and I just can't find myself the energy to be angry anymore. Frustrated yes. But what do I really have a reason to care that much anymore?"

"does it fuckin matter? nothin happens for a reason youvve gotta make that choice yourself. i just dont knoww wwhat im supposed to do."

"Does anybody?" Jane asked, tilting her head a little. "We're just in a situation that turned on us, and nothing can really change that. We've got no Time players, I can't revive any of these people, and my leader just fucked off to the afterlife."

"wwhat do you mean you cant revvivve them? could you do it before?"

"Yes, quite easily. But I suppose to do that I needed the confidence that my leader provided and… and I dunno."

"did you try?"

"Yes. I have spent the last hour trying. But it just doesn't work anymore."

"sounds like you failed."

"Coming from a murderer." Jane turned and looked him directly, her eyes cold and unmoving. "You have some nerve judging me after the things you did. After royally fucking everything up. But truly, it does. Not. Matter. And some good news came out of it. Jake isn't dead anymore. It seems you gave him neither a Heroic nor Just death and he revived some time ago."

"really?"

"He seemed betrayed, but the dumbass kept repeating that it was his fault after all, that he should've been 'more forceful in pushing that vampire alien mama away.' God damn. I really regret what I was forcing him to do."

"so… wwhere is he?"

"On the Derse moon probably. Talking to Roxy when I left him." The girl sighed. "I really wish I could find the confidence to apologise. For everything I did. I… I miss them."

"howw do i get to them?"

"I think the Derse moon crashed into the planet that simultaneously crashed into this planet. Just find some way to climb up there." Particles began to form around the girl as she limped down, the world glitching out in front of Eridan. "Oh, and do me a favour Eridan. Do everyone a favour. When you're done talking to everyone, how about you just do everyone the biggest solid… and kill yourself."

Eridan watched the girl finally get consumed by the glitches, a shiver going down his spine. He looked away, towards the planet that crashed into Daves, and started making his way to the purple spot that seemed to him like Derse.


	53. Eridan: Atone

**Prince of Heart- Local boy ruins everything, more at six.**

Eridan stumbled across the outer side of Dave's planet, watching with glazed eyes as the debris around him floated through the atmosphere of both crashed planets with each of his small and short steps. He felt himself oddly at ease, even with all the actions he had taken to this point, like he could just die and leave the world happily, but something kept pushing him. Pushing him through the destroyed side of Dave's planet, chunks of land cracked off and various lavafalls dropping off into the endless vast of space. Pushing him onto the strange new planet, chipped and destroyed on this side, with what seemed like giant balloons floating off and up into the atmosphere to fulfil some purpose. The planet looked dead, even deader than if it had smashed into Dave's planet, with grey surfaces reaching as far as Eridan could see. Whose planet was this?

He finally spotted his one aim, the thing that he knew he had to see; the Derse moon, indented into the second planet that Eridan had no clue about. He climbed up onto a platform, giving him direct access to the moon, and his memory of his time on his own Derse moon came back to him. The tall purple skyscrapers that he had traced with his finger as he soared through the sky, now reduced to rubble and destroyed versions of themselves. The massive spires he had woken up in, questioning his location with the locals and demanding to see their Queen, not even standing tall and visible for all. He remembered the moment Karkat came to him with a plan to assassinate the Queen of the moon, a plan Eridan was all too eager to take part in, and his part drumming fear into the army, one which he completely nailed as soldiers ran when they saw him and his friends. Finally getting to sit on the throne of the Queen, after the group managed to banish her rather than kill, and looking over the city and then feeling… empty. He had no one to talk to on Derse, no one to hang out with. He didn't want to talk to Feferi after she abandoned him, Nepeta and Equius avoided him like the Hoof-beast plague, and Sollux and Aradia were where the fuck ever. Then he remembered the green blast, the loud static as a wave of green fire engulfed him, the searing hot product burning him and hurting him. He tried screaming for help, but no one came, no one cared, or maybe no one could. He had to lay there, all alone, as he screamed in pain and the green fire consumed him.

Eridan found himself heavily breathing and sweating suddenly, apparently spacing out again for a while. So many memories. None of them good. He continued through the streets, gazing around at the rubble and the dead around him, their dark, limp bodies covering the streets. He also noticed some in the windows and doors of the ruined buildings, using the debris as cover to hide from Eridan, even if it wasn't very effective. They must be scared, Eridan thought to himself, after seeing most of their friends die in moments. He eventually spotted a prison ahead of him, something he recognised from the event that happened hours ago. Seemed like a decade even now.

He pushed open the short door, the marble smooth on his hands, and entered the entry to the prison. A desk sat in front of him, no longer manned, with a clutter on top of it, a series of chairs sat neatly in a waiting room-esque way, and stairs leading upwards were just behind said chairs. He navigated around the chairs, some toppled over and scattered, and entered through the doorway to the stairs. He didn't look up to see how far he had to go, didn't particularly care really, and began to ascend to the top floor, checking each door and hallway for any signs of life. One after the other, nothing came out of it, before he heard two voices conversing down one of the hallways, one woman and one man, both distinctly familiar to him. He progressed down the hallway, the voices getting louder until he came upon a cell with the two familiar figures: the slender Roxy and the thin Jake. He held his hand in a fist for a moment, inches away from the wall beside him, before nervously knocking on the wall twice to get their attention.

They both quickly reacted, Roxy standing up with her fists raised and Jake staring startled at him, before Roxy exclaimed, "oh god damn what are you doing back here?"

Jake backed up out of fear, begging, "Golly no please don't kill me again! It hurt the first damned time man havent i suffered enough!"

Eridan held up his hands, before Roxy demanded, "give me one good reason why i shouldnt kick yo ass boy. i got karate moves like you wouldnt BELIEVE from fending off hungry chess people."

Eridan took a deep breath, before replying, "dont wworry rox im done wwith killin. too many fuckin deaths by my mits already."

"oh thats cool to know maybe ill make your beatin a lil less painful. but dont hold your breath. or on second thought do."

"no no i said that wwrong wwait. i only had to kill outta self defence!"

"and how should i know your tellin the damn truth hotboy?"

Eridan slowly stepped forward, hands still raised. "i need you to just take my wword. please. im so tired of fightin."

Roxy looked the boy in the eyes, his genuinely glazed and upset eyes pleading directly to her heart. She looked back at Jake, who lightened up and sat back up straight, no longer fearful, and then back at Eridan, before sighing, "fine. but watch your step lest mine footeth go… uh… uppeth your asseth monsieur."

Eridan gave a slight nod, lowering his hands at Roxy's allowance, and took up a position leaning against the wall beside him. Roxy took a look back at him, distrust in her eyes, but eventually went back and sat next to her British friend.

Jake gave a slight smile, trying to make the best of a bad situation. "Well butter my butt it sure is uh… nice to see you again old friend! Less murder happy I see."

Eridan avoided eye contact out of embarrassment. "yeah i made a pretty big fuckin mistake. killed a lot of people today that i liked and… noww i dunno wwhat to do."

"going away might help everyone," Roxy added in.

Jake gave Roxy a slight tap on the shoulder. "Do forgive ol rox here shes still a little pummelled out from all the fighting with the batterwitch. You should have seen it man she was like this bad ass ninja viking with her kicks and punches and shooting of her gun! Too bad none of it worked or shed be dead!"

"the wwhat?" Eridan asked.

"the condense," Roxy told him coldly.

"oh. yeah i already killed her."

"You what!? By jove! Oh how i wish i was there to view that batterbitches face when you took one from under her! Howd you kill her by chance?"

"i shot a magic beam from my wand through her to get to aranea."

"Oh right your girlfriend! Look ive gotta apologise for that whole miscombabble i didnt have time to realise what she was attempting before you burst right in! What happened to the talkative lass anyway?"

"shes dead."

"Oh. Oh man that must be a right bummer. but no matter there are plenty of fish in the sea plenty of ladies- OR MEN- to mack on until youre over her! Im sorry the batterwitch took her from you."

"i wwas the one that killed her."

Jake's smile faded, and he cleared his throat, "Oh my. I couldnt imagine how you feel now dude."

"it wwas necessary," Eridan said solemnly. "she wwouldve killed us all if id left her alivve. i did a lot of other bad things though."

"Oh cheer up buddy! I forgive you for what happened! I mean anyone wouldve shot a magic beam through me if they saw me macking on their lady friend."

"jake my dude you should not be so easy to forgive."

"Why not the mans suffered enough!"

"cause he killed my mom and your grandmom from another universe."

Jake was caught off guard, his mouth hanging open as he looked from Roxy to Eridan, who in turn, looked at him guiltily and sad. "Well… pooey. But im sure he had good reason! My grandma was evil wasnt she now? And your mom… maybe the batterwitch controlled her or something. Or she attacked him first! Im sure a million things couldve happened! I forgive my buddy pal for what he did!"

"id rather join my mom than forgive him," Roxy claimed. "in fact everything would be a whole lot better if he just joined her."

Eridan stared at the girl, seemingly seething with anger at him, but was stopped from saying anything when another raspy, feminine voice shouted out at them from the hallway.

"H3Y YOU GUYS, 1M ST1LL 4L1V3!"


	54. Eridan: Help Seer

**Prince of Heart- Can a guy hate himself for putting his fave through so much? Guess we'll find out.**

Eridan was just about to answer the raspy and feminine voice echoing down the hallway and into the cell, before he was beat to it by Roxy, "were in here!" Following that, a series of stumbling footsteps sounded out in the hallway, as if the voice had been wounded and limping, with a hard-metallic clanging screeching out as if there was metal and the marble wall colliding.

The figure eventually turned up in the doorway, showing a heavily wounded and cut-up Terezi, who then went to lean on the doorway arch to support her, with a pained groan as her body touched the smooth surface. Her thin body was covered in cuts and bruises, her shirt and jeans torn to reveal the teal liquid beneath her skin, as well as her damaged face and arms showing the same. She sported a rocket pack on her back, explaining her quick movement, as well as a red bandanna in her right hand, stained with not only Teal blood, but Purple as well. She huffed and puffed, tired from her struggle, her faded Teal eyes hiding her obvious physical pain.

Eridan checked her up and down, before narrowing his eyes with concern and asking, "are you alright ter? wwhat happened to you?"

The girl limply raised a hand up, not convincingly saying, "1'M GOOD, 1- 1'M OK4Y, 4LR1GHT? JUST 4 L1TTL3 3X BOYFR13ND TROUBL3S, 1F YOU KNOW WHO 1 M34N."

She gave a slight smile, before Eridan crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side. "you wwent up against fuckin gam by yourself? are you fuckin crazy ter? he could havve torn you asunder."

"1 H4NDL3D MYS3LF, D1DNT 1? 4ND 1M 4L1V3, 4ND H3S D34D, SO WHOS TH3 R34L W1NN3R W1NN3R HOOFB34ST D1NN3R H3R3?"

She gave one of those mischievous smiles she always did, both beaming her pride at her actions, and her slyness in committing them, making Eridan feel that little bit closer to nostalgic of the days three years ago. "wwhat happened to you anywway? and to gam and kar?"

"W3LL, NOT MUCH TO T3LL YOU GUYS R34LLY. TH3 F1GHT1NG ST4RT3D W1TH YOUR G1RLFR1END 4ND TH3 COND3NS3, 1 TOOK THE T1M3 TO FLY UP TO G4MZ33 4ND SHOW TH4T CH34T1NG M4N1PUL4TOR 4 P13C3 OF MY M1ND V14 MY C4N3 SWORD OF R1GHTOUS D4MN3D JUST1C3, SP1D3R B1TCH 2.0 LOST CONTROL OF H1M OR SOM3TH1NG, 4ND H3 B34T TH3 SH1T OUT OF M3. NOT TH4T 1 COULDN'T T4K3 1T. TH3N NUBBY HORNS G4V3 M3 4 D1STR4CT1ON 4ND W3 BOTH M4N4G3D TO K1LL TH3 B4ST4RD BY THROW1NG H1M 1N TH3 L4V4! NUBBY W3NT TO SULK SOM3WH3R3, 4ND 1 JUST LOOK3D AROUND FOR 4NYON3 4L1VE."

She turned to the other two in the room, the two humans, "1 FOUND JOHN 4L1V3 4S W3LL. OF COURS3 TH3 1D1OT H4DN'T 3V3N B33N 1N TH1S UN1V3RS3 DUR1NG TH3 F1GHT, SO 1 TOLD H1M WH4T H4PP3N3D, PUNCH3D H1M 4 L1TTL3 FOR OLD T1M3S S4KE, 4ND S3NT H1M OFF TO F1X OUR M1ST4KES."

"Wait you mean janes pop?" Jake asked, "I was wondering where that old lugger was during all this!"

"when is he coming back?" Roxy questioned, prompting a slight sigh from Terezi.

"H3'LL COM3 B4CK TO WH3R3V3R 1 4M, SO H3'LL B3 H3R3 WH3N H3 G3TS B4CK. 1 JUST… 1'M K1ND OF T1R3D R1GHT NOW. 1 N33D TO SIT DOWN."

The girl covered the corner around to the wall, Roxy pushing past Eridan to give her a hand, and with her guidance, slid down the purple wall onto her backside, leaning her back against the wall. Terezi gave a couple of heavy sighs and grunts, before resting herself properly on the wall.

"TH4NKS, 1 R34LLY 4PPR3C14T3 1T N3W HUM4N," she said, cupping her stomach in pain.

"are you gonna be okay gf?" Roxy asked, concern in her eyes.

"NOT R34LLY, BUT 1 DON'T R34LLY H4V3 MUCH R34SON FOR 4NYTH1NG 3LS3 NOW, SO 1 DON'T R34LLY M1ND. W1TH G4MZ33 F1N4LLY GON3 4ND TH4T 1D1OT JOHN OFF M4K1NG GOOD ON R3WR1T1NG H1STORY, 1 GU3SS 1 C4N'T F1ND MUCH R34SON TO PUSH MYS3LF ON."

Eridan took a couple of steps forward, and took a knee beside the masked Rogue. "but wwe just found you. you wwere the one that wwanted to do a lot of this justice nonsense, wwhy givve up now?"

"WHY NOT? NOT L1K3 1'M GO1NG TO L4ST MUCH LONG3R 1N TH3 N3W S3SS1ON 1F JOHN M4K3S 1T B4CK. B3S1D3S DUMB4SS, D1DN'T YOU H34R 4LL TH3 STUFF TH4T 1 JUST D1D? NOT R34LLY GO1NG DOWN W1THOUT 4 F1GHT 1S 1T?"

Eridan looked her up and down, giving a heaving sigh. "so wwhat wwere just supposed to wwait here for the human to turn up? wwhich could be wwhenevver the fuck?"

"N3V3R S41D YOU H4D TO L1K3 TH3 PL4N 3R1D4N, JUST TH4T 1T'S H4PP3N1NG. W3'R3 M4K1NG 1T H4PP3N." She took a deep swallow of some unknown liquid, before grimacing and continuing, "1 KNOW 3R1D4N."

"you kno-"

Eridan suddenly jutted forward, inches away from Terezi's face, her snarling teeth groaning the words, "1 SHOULD K1LL YOU FOR WH4T YOU D1D 3R1D4N. 1 R34LLY SHOULD. MURD3R1NG TH3 HUM4NS 4ND K4N4Y4. YOU'R3 TH3 R34L SCUM OF TH3 4LT3RN14, YOU KNOW? BUT 1 KNOW WH4T H4PP3NS 1F YOU D1DN'T, 4ND MOR3 OF US WOULD B3 D34D B3C4US3 OF TH4T. SO 1 DON'T BL4M3 YOU 3R1D4N. 1 R34LLY DON'T. BUT TH4T DO3SN'T M4K3 YOU 4 B3TT3R P3RSON. 1 HOP3, FOR 4LL 1NT3NTS 4ND PURPOS3S, 1 S33 YOU ROTT1NG 1N TH3 4FT3RL1F3 W1TH M3."

The girl slowly let go of the Prince, the life fading from her eyes and her eyelids shutting down, before she fell back against the wall, her mind finally at ease. Eridan stared at the lifeless corpse for a moment, while Roxy slowly stood up and walked back over to Jake solemnly. Eridan had no clue what to do. The only person he knew from the start of the game that never blamed him for his actions, that never truly judged him, had just wished death upon him. Everything seemed to spin, the room a blur, the conversation behind him just white noise, and his mind was wild.

But then he took a step up, untying his cape and holding it out in his two hands, before draping it over the Seer, completely covering her body. He then took in a deep breath through his nose, and let it out through his mouth. He had enough.

"fine," he exclaimed, garnering the attention of the two humans, "just fine. evveryone just wwants to see me gone? wwell don't havve to tell me a million fuckin times. im tired. so fuckin tired. so fuck it. i guess the world really wwill be better wwithout me then."

And with that, he stomped out the cell door, leaving the Page and the Rogue alone.


	55. Eridan: Trek

**Prince of Heart- And now, here's Wonderwall**

Eridan jumped down from a piece of debris, unhindered by his lack of a cape now that he'd covered Terezi's body with with it, so his landing ended up being a lot easier without worrying that he'd trip over his own cape. He had stomped all the way from Derse to the edge of the two planets, where the lava flowed off the edge of LOLAC and into the vast emptiness of space. Where the gears and stone platforms were cracked and scattered, sinking into the lava below or floating through the space above Eridan. Where the world seemed to end, where everything had gone to shit. Where everyone he cared about just… died. He crossed the debris, a dangerous task if he fell, and moved from one piece to the other, as he trekked his way to the edge of the crash, where he could go no further.

He looked over the vast ocean of lava below him, a few dozen feet fall from the platform he stood on. Despite the glow from the sea, and the colour that popped compared to the stars above, it seemed vastly empty, with no further platforms nor gears anywhere he could see over the horizon. It churned and turned, bubbling and cracking as the Prince looked too deeply into its gaze. The lava almost seemed to call him, a whisper in the warm, sweating air around him, seducing him into the lava below. This was what he came here for, right? That's all he was good at anyway, killing. But now that he was here, he felt his stomach well up, almost as if something was swarming around his insides. He tried to reason with himself, that it'd be a few seconds, over in a flash. That he'd felt more than comfortable doing it to others, why the hell should he feel so nervous and hesitant about doing it to himself? What was one more to add to the body count, right? Everyone hated him, and he'd get to see all his friends again in the bubbles, living forever as a ghost. There was literally nothing keeping him here.

But he couldn't. He just couldn't take a step further. Nothing for him in life, with everything to gain in death, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, as if he felt like there was something keeping him going here.

"HEY," he heard a very familiar voice catch his attention. He slowly craned his neck to the side to see the Knight of Blood, Karkat, sitting slumped against the piece of debris lodged into the concrete. He was stained with dark purple blood, his sickle laid next to him on the ground, and his sweater ruffled and creased from his former battle.

Eridan lowered his neck back to gaze over the ocean of lava, replying, "hey."

Karkat looked over at the Prince, then out at the sea of lava in front of him, and proceeded to sigh deeply, "TOUGH DAY, HUH? YOU HAVE THAT TINGE OF I-WANNA-FUCKING-*END*-MY-MISERABLE-EXISTENCE IN YOUR EYE."

"ivve got half a mind yeah."

"YOU'RE STANDING PRETTY CLOSE TO THE EDGE THERE DUDE."

"i might just get closer kar."

Karkat stared at the boy for a moment, studying the lifeless gaze in the Princes eyes, and then the slight shake in his hands beside him. He brung up one knee, resting one of his own arms on it for comfort, before continuing his gaze at the fish-boy.

"HOW BAD COULD YOUR DAY HAVE BEEN? LIFE SEEMED TO GO TO SHIT BUT JEGUS DUDE, IS THIS WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH? NOTHING COULD HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN THAT BAD TO WARRANT WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU PLAN TO-"

"i killed them kar. davve. rose. kan. jade. aranea and the hic. all of them felled by my own damned hand. they all felt the hot blast of my wand deservvin or fuckin not and i havve no excuse. three good heroes fuckin died because i couldnt keep it under control and i feel like thats not even gonna be the end of it. and ivve had that stupid feeling since the fuckin meteor. i shouldvve acted on it back then kar stopped all this shit from evven happenin but i didnt. cause i just thought if i kept goin thered be somethin for me at the end somethin to make all ivve suffered and all those that havve suffered cause of me worth it."

He jerked his head towards Karkat, tears froming and a strain put on his posh accent. "but it nevver fuckin happened kar! i nevver came close! i thought i had my rudimentary life together but it all turned out to be a fuckin ruse wwhere my matesprit used me to further her owwn dastardly plans my kismesis cheated on me and i ended up with evveryone dead and or hating me. the only person that didnt hate me was davve but noww his is the death i feel the guiltiest about! i heard evveryone can be a hero if they just try but i did just that and noww im more of a vvillain than i evver was! i dont get wwhat i evven did wwrong kar but it shouldnt matter any fuckin more. ill be judged in the afterlife."

He turned his now tear struck face to the ocean of lava. "the dream bubbles. wwhere evveryone wwill see howw i made up for wwhat i did to them."

Karkat left his sight on him for a moment, before, frustrated, he sighed, "SO WHAT, THIS WAS YOUR ONLY ANSWER? GOD, YOU ARE AN *IDIOT* FOR THE AGES."

Eridan huffed at that statement, slightly put off.

"I MEAN COME *ON*, WHAT DO YOU THINKS GONNA HAPPEN, EVERYONE THAT YOU'VE KILLED IS GONNA WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN GOD DAMN ARMS LIKE YOU'RE THE SAVIOR OF THEIR COLLECTIVE GUARDIANS, WITH NO CAVEATS? YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE MORON DUDE, AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. IF THIS WAS ONE AND A HALF SWEEPS AGO I WOULD FUCKING PUSH YOU OFF THAT CLIFF MYSELF, POSSIBLY IN A SORT OF MURDER-SUICIDE ATTEMPT BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN GIDDY THAT I'D DANCE OFF THE EDGE WITH YOU. BUT I REALISED SOMETHING OVER THAT TIME. ALL THAT TIME I SAW A SIDE OF YOU THAT I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT EXISTED."

Karkat scrunched up his nose and looked down at his lap. "I SAW YOU, DUDE. I SAW THE GUY THAT WAS BACKED INTO A CORNER, NO OTHER OPTION PRESENTED TO HIM. A GUY THAT WANTED TO DO SOMETHING, EVEN IF IT TURNED OUT VILLAINOUS. YOU NEVER HAD THOSE INTENTIONS, AT LEAST, NOT TO EVERYONE. SURE, I HATED YOU FOR KILLING OUR FRIENDS, BUT YOU NEVER PLANNED TO ATTACK THE GUYS. IT WAS SELF DEFENSE. AND SEEING YOU GROW OVER THAT SWEEP AND A HALF… IT OPENED MY EYES DUDE. I MEAN, YOU STOPPED ME FROM PROBABLY MURDERING DAVE OR SOMETHING OVER TEREZI, YOU GOT AN ACTUAL *GIRLFRIEND*, YOU TOOK A STANCE AGAINST GAMZEE, A GUY THAT'S ALMOST A FOOT TALLER THAN YOU, AND YOU FOUGHT AGAINST JADE TO DEFEND SOMEONE ELSE. ONE AND A HALF SWEEPS AGO I COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE YOU TURNING OUT LIKE THIS."

The Prince loosened his frown, his eyes widening in realisation, as the Knight continued, "I DON'T KNOW FULLY WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO YOU. BUT YOU'RE NOT A BAD GUY. YOU'RE JUST PROOF THAT EVEN THE WORST PERSON CAN BE A HERO, IF THEY JUST TRY."

Eridan stared over the edge of the platform for a moment, almost as if he were waiting for something to push him in either direction. But he processed the speech just made by his friend, and as he reached a decision, he spun around on his heels to face away from the cliff.

"maybe. im goin back. you comin kar?" Eridan asked.

"NAH, I JUST KIND OF… WANNA WAIT HERE FOR A WHILE."

Eridan nodded to him farewell, before setting off on his trek back to the pair of humans.


	56. Eridan: Fix

**Prince of Heart- Jesus, I might actually finish this thing. If we're lucky and I dont procrastinate with vidya games and musical numbers I'll be done in half a year.**

Eridan slid his hand across the smooth, marble wall, as he ascended the steps to the top of the Derse prison once again, this time with a goal in mind. No more feeling sorry for himself, no more thinking about what could've been, or what he could do wrong in the future, and he now instead looked to focus his energies into something much more productive, something that could redeem him again in the eyes of his friends and whatever higher force there was. Did he have any clue what he was looking for? Not in a God damned million years, but he wasn't going to stop his search for something to help the mess the survivors were in. As he entered the hallway where he remembered the humans being, he found himself almost stomping in anticipation, his furious footsteps signifying his newfound and sudden determination to help everything and everyone. They echoed down the hallway until he came upon the door to the cell everyone was in, when he came to a halt. He heard voices inside, three it seemed? No matter to him, just another person he'd have to impress. The Prince took a deep breath, before brushing the metal door aside and storming into the room to greet the humans. Damn, if only he had his cape.

"listen humans and listen…" He began, but stopped himself shortly as he noticed the third figure being John, the blue eyed male human from the dream bubble with Vriska. John looked towards him, taking with him the attention of the other two humans Jake and Roxy, and widely grinned towards him.

"oh hi eridan!" The Heir said, waving to him, "i was wondering where the heck you even were! roxy told me that you were still alive in between her grumbles of hatred, and not very nice words, towards you."

Eridan looked beside him to the slim girl, her nose turned up and eyes squinting angrily at him, with Jake just beside her nervously waving at him. "oh she did? wwell no god damn matter human cause things are turnin around mark my wwords. this isnt the end for eridan and friends. all cause of fuckin eridan ampora the most terrifying pirate to sail the seas of alternia and wwinner of promiscuous ladies hearts!"

"oh, you've got a plan too?" John asked through his buck tooth grin.

"of course ivve got a plan you perilo- wwait. wwhat do you mean too?"

John perked up, his superior height to the rest of them giving him the advantage of attention in the small room of four people and a troll corpse. "yeah! terezi gave me a plan to act out before she came here, and apparently it was supposed to change the timeline or something like that to make things better. but heck if i know how it works, i just spray painted some stuff and punched a girl in the face." He rubbed the back of his head. "don't ask!"

"i… huh. i just kinda thought id be the one to savve you idiots."

"oh, sorry! but you know the world doesn't wait for you man! i had to act!" John proclaimed.

Eridan stared down at the ground for a moment, before looking back up at John and asking, "uh that girl you punched… that uh wwouldnt happen to be vvris wwould it?"

"wris? oh, vriska! yeah it was! how'd you know?"

"long story. itd be hard to explain. i can barely understand it as wwell. but maybe another time. so wwhat exactly wwas yours and ters plan gonna result in?"

"well, wed get to go back in time to when all our friends were alive and have another go! this time with a better chance as well. the only real problem was like, really heavy. like, REALLY heavy. we'd have to have ourselves from that timeline killed as well so we could take their place so no weird timey stuff would go wrong."

"Wait mr crocker and slash or egbert," Jake piped up, slowly standing up to join the other three, "does that mean we have to kill ourselves in the new universe? Because i dont think i could do that to myself!"

"oh, uh, i don't think so! i do remember terezi telling me that the universe would sort itself out or something."

"Do we have to see our bodies?! Because bloody hell man i couldnt take that in my life right now!"

"what? i don't know! c'mon mr harley slash english get your mind together dude i'm trying to save our lives as best as i can! and i don't even know if i'm doing it right! i just got to trust the word of a troll girl who got me killed once, not to mention she's dead as well, that everything will turn out hunky dory because she told me after flying directly into me from outta no-where!"

Roxy tilted her head a little, a concerned look on her face. "cmon man you KNOW we got it made in the shade rn." She gave the boy a smile, untensing him a fair amount. "just roll with it cause itll be a helluva lot better than sitting around here to die or something lame like that."

John slumped his shoulders with the grip of Roxy's delicate hand on it, and let out a deep sigh, "okay sorry. this is just kind of the most stressful thing ever and i just want to get out of here."

"so wwhats next then? howw do wwe evven get outta this hellhole."

"oh! well i forgot to mention that i sort of gained control of these windy time travel powers?" John laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his caramel neck. "so i guess we just all hold hands and go?"

"thats fuckin it?" Eridan exclaimed, "no flare of anythin?"

"i'm pretty sure there's a bright light afterwards! but we won't get to see it so i guess that doesn't count?"

"oh wwhatevver i just wwanna fix things already." Eridan stomped forward, grabbing the hands of John and Jake in quick succession.

"hol up," Roxy said, "what about everyone else alive? we cant leave them can we?"

"grandma fad- sorry jane- faded away into the glitch and i can't pull her out," the Heir explained, "and that dirk guy just… did not want to come! i think he was just too sad or something."

"i feel bad leaving him here but… hes a stubborn ass with extra sides of sass. the guy aint movin."

"wwell i guess that just settles it lets fuckin go."

John nodded, grabbing the hand of Roxy as well all of a sudden, before she settled into the groove of his hand and gripped tighter into it. Eridan felt his body quiver, almost as if it was jumping all over the place with no sense or rhyme or reason, and the last thing he thought to himself before he followed the trio through time and space was that of his time spent with his denizen that led to all this…


	57. Intermission 6: Zelus

**Prince of Heart- God DAMN IT, I'm not even busy why do these take so long even though they're so much fun.**

 **About 2 sweeps ago**

Eridan approached the large marble door for the final time, surrounded by the deceased bodies of angels that had been a complete bitch to kill for him. Those damn monstrosities AND these idiotic angels, all on one planet? He had nary a second to breathe in between blasts from his Ahab's crosshairs, though it's not like it wasn't fun to blast the bastards to smithereens. The door stood before him imposingly, almost menacingly, the entrance to what seemed to him a large church, judging from the towers that stood atop the building, as well as the faint sound of bells ringing throughout the land around it. His approach, aside from the angels and imps, had been lovely, with the air around him filled with the brightness often present on his planet, the black architecture emanating the pure whiteness in the air. The place really reminded him of the places of worship back home, where those lesser than him would go and worship whatever phoney being they believed in. He had fun making fun of said people though, often turning their noses up at real life science behind their made-up events; they just couldn't handle how smart he was compared to literally everyone else. You really had to have a certain level of intelligence to understand his atheistic views, and ah, how hard Eridan had it, being too smart for his own good.

He lowered his gun to the ground, the nozzle dragging along the concrete below him, before he came to a stop a couple of feet from the door to examine it. The structure was quite remarkable, or more adequately described as unremarkable to Eridan, considering his experience with elaborate structures like his castle, though it did sport a elaborate engraving on it. On the door was a largish drawing that took up almost two thirds of the entire structure, depicting a figure directly in the middle of it, his arm held high, and around his were what seemed like angels falling, due to their wings, and buildings crumbling to dust, with a small beam flying up into the sky from the figure and directly into the head of a bloodworm like creature with a glowing beam of light for a head. The carving was rough and worn from what must have been centuries, but it seemed ridiculous and, if Eridan was being honest, quite fuckin crude of a drawwing.

Eridan snarled and dropped his gun, the object clattering loudly to the ground. He paced slowly to the door, and attempted to use his entire body to push the thing open, but alas, it wouldn't budge. He continued, stubborn to the end, using all his short might against his most worthy opponent; an inanimate object, but his results turned up the same as before. He stopped briefly to take a breath, leaning up against the door, where he managed to notice a bit of the carving he had missed, a sentence it seemed, of a language he had never seen written before _. Qui destruit mundo, est in se aperire ostium invenire spe ad Deum._ He couldn't even say it out loud it was so fucking ludicrous. He wiped the sweat off his brow, and took a step back from the door, clenching his fists beside him, and stared up at the door. Clenching his teeth, furrowing his brow, and scrunching his nose, he screamed out to the door in hope, "i havve been through hell and fuckin back you stupid fuckin door! i havve killed more angels in this dumb game than i evver did lusi for fef back on alternia and you havve the GALL to not open for the prince! for YOUR prince! howw fuckin dare you i demand that you open for me. right. noww! right noww! open you dumb door or i wwill havve your dumb fuckin door guardian and your dumb fuckin door friends executed before me! do i make myself clear! i cant havve come here for nothing you shitpan! there has to be an answwer for evverythings thats happened! there has to be… i… i… i fuckin wwish you wwould open already. i hoped for some fuckin answwers to this place! i hoped that you wwou-"

Instantaneously, the carvings on the door lit up, slowly rising up the beam coming from the figure in the middles hand, before hitting the bloodworms head and beaming out from the door in a bright show. Each of the three pillars from on top of the church lit up, firing white beams directly into the sky, and the sound of bells ringing came from above Eridan. Slowly, the door crumbled open, pushing itself far back, and rolling out of the way to reveal the insides of the church, which quickly lit up as well to light the way down a spiralling series of steps. Eridan squinted, looking up at the towers above him, before looking into the insides of the building in confusion. Eventually, he shrugged his feelings off, and picked up his step into the unknown depths of the church.

* * *

Eridan, guided by the torchlight into the depths of the church, descended steadily down the steps, with only strange carvings along the way to entertain his attention. Crude carvings he would tell someone, anyone, if they were here. He guessed as he perused such carvings that he was the mysterious figure they centred on, purely based on the fact that that figure was often shown to be worshipped AND feared by those awful angels, seeing as the figure had no discernible physical traits. Who else would be worshipped on this miserable excuse of a planet? But some of the carvings seemed unflattering to him, often depicting him alone in a vast wasteland of nothingness and destroyed buildings, but that wasn't ALL he did. He could create when he wanted to, God damn it. He wasn't some all destroying monster, o-or an evil force of nature. He was a God damn Prince, making a God damn kingdom for himself in the new universe. That's it.

He finally found the bottom step, the ground beneath him blending black and white together as it made a path before him to a second double door, this one just a few feet taller than him. With a furrowed brow, he moved forth and pushed the double doors open, only to be greeted with an almost blinding light coming from within, prompting him to put his hand in front of his eyes. Eventually, the light faded to a manageable level, and he lowered him arm to see the cause, going wide eyed at the monster in front of him. The monster had the body of a yellow and purple striped serpent, though much larger than himself as it looked down on him, coiled around a treasury of grist and bucks, and a bright, shining ball in place of his head. Eridan felt imposed, the serpent towering over him, and as he entered further, the thing reared its head down to him, the light now capturing his attention instead of blinding him.

With no visible mouth to speak of, the thing gargled out, "Eridan Ampora, descendant of Cronus Ampora, I have been expecting your visit for some time."

Eridan swallowed a glass of air, before replying with a steady breath, "howw the fuck do you know that?"

"Skaia told me that fact sea-dweller, just as it tells me everything else, whether to be or has already been." The creature began to slither forward, its enormous body making loud clinks in the marble below it, as it wrapped around him, keeping its body a few feet apart from Eridan. "My name is Zelus, and I'm the Denizen of the Land of Wrath and Angels, your planet."

"the god that all these despicable angels followw. i remember the name as i blasted your soldiers to smithereens!"

The thing almost seemed to chuckle, "I know Prince. Excuse my haste, but I find it surprising that you haven't shot me down yet. Why?"

"huh? i dont fuckin knoww i got distracted by- wwait a fuckin mint blood second i thought you kneww everythin?"

"I do. I was curious as to what your reasoning was though. Dear Prince, I always knew you wouldn't kill me in this timeline, but I do not know the influence of such a decision."

"there is no damn reasonin you glorified toilet i just dont feel like doin it is all."

"You don't feel like murdering me in cold blood? Unusual," the monster leant its head in towards him, "seeing how you murdered most of the innocent consorts of this land."

"the angels? they attacked me i had to do it to them."

"Do you think they might have only attacked you because you fired first?"

"they came outta nowwhere of course i wwas gonna gun them dowwn."

"And you don't think you should have stopped after they screamed in pain for a full minute? Or when they were begging you to stop?"

"i dont need to argue this shit wwith you. i wwon. thats it. noww givve me my prize."

The serpent paused for a moment, before leaning back and uncoiling its body, slithering back towards the large piles of grist and bucks behind it. "Of course, Prince. But, there is a choice to be had, a choice to be made."

"the one that givves me grist straight up."

"I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I must give the choice none-the-less, if you have the time?"

"i dont so givve me the money."

"Well I must give it anyway, unless you fight and kill me, in accordance to the rules of the game." Eridan groaned in response, his finger slowly finding its way to the trigger of his Ahab's Crosshairs', but managing to keep himself capped long enough to hear the monster out. "Eridan, this game is far from over, but I can guarantee you one thing: you will not survive your actions if you go on like you have been. This is where my choice for you comes in: in order to live to see a new universe, you must follow through hardships, learn to not only accept your role as a Prince of Hope, but overcome and use it to benefit others. You must learn your actions, and become a vital member of your team, but must endure hardships and witness the deaths and betrayals of those closest to you. Once your envy, jealousy, and zealous nature are under control, you may strive, and live free."

"and if i refuse?"

"You die, as other versions of you have in the infinite universes."

"howw?"

"If only there weren't a million ways. I'm sorry, but I am not allowed to disclose such information."

Eridan bit his tongue for a moment, thinking over the choice, before quickly coming to the conclusion, "fine. wwhatevver. im a fuckin prince i can handle anythin."

"Can you? Well that is an interesting thought. But just remember: when you think it's all over, that there is no way to progress, you mustn't give in to your instincts. Don't throw away your shot Eridan."

"i… i wwont. im god damn eridan ampora and i wwill not let that go to wwaste."


	58. Eridan: Enter Universe 8

**Prince of Heart- Hamil-who references? I've never heard of a musical about that president before no-sir-ree AT ALL.**

Eridan found himself still conscious as John brought the four of them along with him to find a winning session, which was unusual. Eridan had been teleported before, but he'd never been conscious while it happened, which gave him a strange sensation of de ja vu, though for a reason he couldn't place his finger on. He looked out into the dark chasm of a void, stretching further and further than his eyes could see, but with several cracks and crevices revealing colourful spots that lit up with a flurry of neon-rainbow gorgeousness. He saw very faint outlines of figures in the dark: large, horribly shaped figures that seemed the stuff from his nightmares, or the very least, his dreams on Derse. He attempted to raise his hands, though they felt surprisingly light, and when he looked to see where he swore they were, there was nothing. His whole body was nothingness, lost in the vast emptiness of the void, with no end in sight. But, for some strange reason, Eridan found it comfortable, safe, inviting even. Like a home he never knew he had. He felt… relaxed here. His breath slowed, his eyes closing, as he felt a force overtake him, slowly engulfing him and making his body feel much heavier than before, before something blinding pierced his eyelids, and pulled him from the faux reality.

* * *

He came to suddenly, falling to some sort of solid, concrete surface, just a second of being conscious again. He heard a collective of gasps and startled screams as he collided, but it was soon overshadowed by a larger body falling down on top of him as well, knocking whatever wind he had back out of him. He wheezed for a moment, the blue-pajama boy surprisingly heavy for his lankiness, who managed out a grunt when he fell atop Eridan, before Eridan used all his might to push the boy off and onto the ground.

"wwhat the actual FUCK you grub shitter i thought wwe wwere standin up?" Eridan barked at him, rubbing his head as he turned onto his side.

John responded by groaning out, "i don't know! it just happens man, usually i'm flying or-" John stopped dead in his tracks, eerily silent.

Eridan craned his head to look at who John was talking to, before noticing they were surrounded by a bunch of their friends, who Eridan last remembered seeing most of them covered in a pool of their own blood. Behind him sat the two Knights, Dave and Karkat, only the Knight of Blood having any sort of reaction towards the event playing out in front of them. To his right, past the groaning, slender body of Roxy, floated two sprites, one of a blue Tavros, and one of a red Equius, though this versions shades seemed awfully sweeter that the fucking loser pair he used to wear frequently. To his left, past the lean, unconscious body of Jake, were a startled Kanaya, a smirking Rose, and the two unconscious bodies of Jade and Jane, both looking much more peaceful than they were in his timeline. And in front of him were the two final figures; a slightly confused Terezi sitting against a chained-up fridge, and gog-damned Vriska fucking Serket standing above them, a triumphant smile on her fanged, dark blue lips.

"Well, hey there John!" She beamed, a strangely smug aura coming from her awfully kind sounding words. "Glad to see you guys finally dropping 8y!"

"woah…" John exclaimed, looking around, "HI EVERYBODY!"

Dave slowly leaned into Karkat, the two mumbling to each other over the awkward silence, before Dave shook his head and responded, "oh yeah hey john whats up?"

Eridan surveyed the scene as the two talked, noticing the platform they were on was suspended mid space, barrelling toward the massive central planet of Skaia ahead of them. The globe looked exactly how Eridan remembered it; green, roving continents and pale blue seas, though each were tough to spot from space, with puffy white clouds orbiting in the outer atmosphere. He noticed the visions, though those were typical of the planet, coming from the surprisingly close clouds to them, most of them snapshots from the future that he had no clue how to interperate.

John waved frantically to his friend. "hey dave, not much! hi again karkat! haha, i only saw you like five minutes ago, but i guess that was years ago for you. dang. you've probably been through a whole lot of silly nonsense, haven't you?" He shook his hands to focus himself. "wait never mind, you don't have to answer that. there will be plenty of time to catch up! hi to everyone else too! oh man, i missed you all so much! even the people i don't know very well, or haven't met yet. oh! by the way, this is roxy, and Eridan to those who probably haven't met them! they're my new friends, and we just went on a crazy adventure together, to save the time line and come find you all. so here we are!"

"uh," Roxy nervously chuckled, giving a wave, "hey hi."

Eridan shook his head, standing up and dusting his sweater off for show. "yeah hello there land dwwellers and humans alike wwere back i guess."

The group stared at them for a moment, an understandable silence overcoming the group, before Roxy's awkward smile widened as she looked at Rose, and she dashed across the platform towards her. The sound of footsteps ceased as she slid the last few feet, direct into the Seer's lap, the two giggling in a mother/daughter to mother/daughter hug, the scene putting a charmed smile on the Sylph's face next to them.

John let out a sweetened, "d'awww," before taking Vriska's hand up and onto his feet, following her over to Terezi and the fridge.

Eridan checked beside him, the short, but lean boy still out cold, before he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, the force knocking him to his knees. "HOLY FUCK YOU'RE ACTUALLY ALIVE, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Eridan struggled to turn to face his assailant, settling into the groove that Karkat planted him in, before giving up and hugging the Knight's arm. "hey kar howws it goin?"

"OH YOU *ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE* BASKET OF ASSORTED ASSES, I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN," the boy exclaimed, a tear staining his face.

"yo did someone call for a basket of assorted asses," Dave said from behind them, "cause lucky the store had one left for dad on christmas day."

Eridan froze in his spot; he had no clue why, but he heard the ever faint voice of the Knight of Time in the back of his head, mumbling out _youre… youre not a bad guy._ His eyes widened, he felt a slight change in pace of his breath, before he was brought back to reality by a tighter squeeze from Karkat. He shook his head and stammered out, "oh u-uh hey davve its good to see you as wwell."

"damn fucking right five minutes without me and you might just blow a load or two. assuming yall have loads to blow."

Karkat stood up, wiping the tear off his cheek, then allowing Eridan to get back up with him. "BUT… BUT… *HOW*" Karkat questioned him, running a hand through his black hair.

"fuck i dont knoww john did some wwindy shit and fuckin dumped us out here after our session wwent to fucktowwn."

Karkat shook his head slightly. "THAT'S IT? YOU FUCKING POPPED OUT OF MID AIR, SCARING THE ABSOLUTE *SHIT* OUT OF ME MIND YOU, AND YOU GIVE ME THE SAME STORY I TOLD MY LUSUS WHEN I GOT BACK FROM HANGING OUT WITH SOLLUX? HOLY ACTUAL FUCK I MISSED YOU BUDDY."

"uh yeah i can see that. so wwhat does that mean happened to me in univverse b?"

Karkat's lip quivered, before Dave lightly pushed him away and took over story duties, "fuck dude do you want the long version where i tell a bad ass one chapter filler of heroics of you four or the short pulp juice loving cousin of the bad ass filler?"

Eridan waved his hand dismissively, "i really think im done with long filler stories id rather ge-"

"so it all started a few weeks ago right," Dave began in a haste…


	59. Eridan: Get Interrupted

**Prince of Heart- Wow, trcked ya lmao. Anyway here's a fourty gabillion word chapter to make up for my absence.**

"OOOOOOOOH NO YOU DON'T!" Vriska yelled at Dave from afar, causing Eridan and Karkat to flinch. She had stood up, a hand out-stretched and pointed towards Dave, with an obviously displeased scowl on her face and in her voice.

Dave looked over at the spider girl, her vision piercing through her glasses and directly into Dave's blank face, before he shrugged his shoulders and said, "dont what tell a bomb ass story of intrigue and death thatd make adam sandler weep tears of god damn joy?"

"I have NO idea what the FUCK that means," Vriska explained, marching over, "8ut yes! Exactly fucking that! I'm sick and tired of these side stories interrupting me! For the past three fucki- no, one and a half sweeps, I mean, 8ecause FUCK human time, I have been interrupted again and again by ridiculous side stories!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT DUDE?" Karkat asked, rubbing his cheeks with his hands with frustration.

"Ooooooooh you know EXACTLY what I'm on a8out," she raised her hands up and made quotation marks with her fingers towards Karkat, "DUDE. There's 8een the Gamzee shit, the diet soda incident, the fucking Christmas hat problem! Do you remem8er the Christmas hat problem?"

"OF COURSE I REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS HAT PROBLEM, IT PROVIDED SOME OF THE MOST DEATH DEFYING FEATS OF OUR GROUP."

"wwait the christmas hat problem?" Eridan interrupted. "wwhat the fuck is that?"

"oh well fish dude christmas is this time whe-"

"I KNOWW WWHAT THE FUCK A CHRISTMAS IS DAVVE i meant the milk sippin incident you buffoon."

"Well guess what Eridan? You don't get to KNOW the Christmas hat incident, 8ecause it was such a gr8 story that the very moment we repeat it the universe might explode! I'm sick of side stories interrupting us, I just want to do this thing and kill the guy and may8e get sort of nostalgic while we jerk our 8ulges to how much fun we had. That is IT!"

"oh thank fuckin jegus i didnt wwant to knoww anywway."

"THANK. YOU. Finally, someone with sense! The 8asics are that you, that blue girl, John, and small John all died in a horrific act of selflessness that saved this team. Does that make you feel good at least?"

"a bit yeah."

"Good! Now can we get down to the 8iz-snatch damn it?" The Thief raised her hands to cup around her mouth, and yelled out, "Ok every8ody, time's up! Wrap up your convers8tions. Our tactical meeting is officially 8ack in order!"

The various different groups that had splintered off, now surprisingly somehow GREW in size, rallied in towards the Thief, who had jumped up on the fridge to overlook everyone. The new figures included a new sprite, a cat version of Rose floating off with the other sprites in the corner of the group, and… the Mayor? Holy shit, the Mayor was back after all this time! Holy fuck they had so much to catch up on. Kanaya went up and stood on his left, as well as Terezi on his right, before Vriska began to speak.

"Alright, has everyone shut up yet?"

"1 TH1NK SO," Terezi replied, crossing her arms.

"Gr8! Let's not waste another second then. I'm diving right into this. Everyone pay close attention, and try to keep up! I'll start 8y descri8ing the exact n8ture of the threats we're dealing with, and go from there. According to intelligence gathered during our trip along with some reconnaissance work on arrival, this session has four, possi8ly five major adversaries." She raised her hand, pushing up a finger every time she mentioned a new enemy. "The Condesce of course, and three Jack Noirs of varying levels of danger. Plus, there's a female prospitian of equivalent power to the strongest Jack. She's sort of an x-factor. It's hard to accur8tely gauge her threat level, 8ut I'm not a8out to take any chances. All these threats are just outside the incipisphere, en route to the session as we speak. Once they arrive, all hell will 8reak loose. That's when endgame is officially go. You only have a couple hours to prepare, so you need to listen to every word I say. Victory will depend on following my plan to the letter!"

"so..." the Rogue trailed on, clicking her tongue and asking, "wheres the condesce right now?"

"She's on Derse, preparing for the same critical convergence herself. After that attack on her ship formul8ed 8y a certain Void-y girl and fish-dude- NOT NAMING NAMES- caught her completely off guard, destroying her ship and any form of communication with anywhere but Derse, we've essentially reached a temporary ceasefire 8y default while 8oth sides regroup."

Vriska waved her arms horizontaly, a slight smile on her face, "This is not how she expected things would go. We had the advantage of surprise that time, 8ut we won't 8e so lucky next time. She's w8ting for the Jacks to get here just like we are. Once they do, she'll instantly have the upper hand, and she knows this. Her particular com8ination of a8ilities along with her supervillain-like cunning make her an EXTREMELY DANGEROUS part of this equation! That's why we need a good strategy in place 8efore the shit hits the 8reeze 8lender."

"so in addition for waiting for way too many jacks to get here," the Knight of Time interrupted, "were also waiting for my bro too right? who... gets here at the same time or..."

"Yes, the other Strider was 8anished to the periphery as well, and is in transit. He'll arrive at the same time, give or take, and should 8e a gr8 tactical asset. Sources tell me the dude is pretty good with a sword.

"That's me," the Equius sprite mentioned excitedly, "I'm the source, I told her that, and it's true."

"Yes, thank you Arquius," Vriska exasperatedly said.

"This Is Starting To Sound A Bit Complicated," Kanaya chimed in nervously, "How Are We Supposed To Keep Track Of All These Villains And Heroes Coming And Going When And Where?"

"You're right, Kanaya. At this point in the meeting, I think we could use some diagrams to help with the 8attleplans. Karkat? If you wouldn't mind."

"I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU PUT ME ON DRAWING DUTY," Karkat told her, rummaging through his captchalog, "I'M EASILY THE WORST ARTIST HERE. AND IN A SETTING THAT INCLUDES DAVE, LET'S GET REAL. THAT'S NO SMALL FEAT."

"I specifically assigned you to diagramming duty so that it would keep you occupied. That way, you'd stand a chance of keeping your mouth shut while I talk strategy."

"THAT'S WORKED OUT GREAT SO FAR, HASN'T IT? WE'VE LOST HOW MANY STRATEGY-SECONDS TO ME COMPLAINING ABOUT DRAWING ALREADY?"

"Sure, 8ut I know that drawing requires a lot of concentr8tion from you. Once you're in the zone, I expect you'll simmer down."

"WOW, FUCK YOU! YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT, BUT FUCK YOU NEVERTHELESS! WHERE THE SHIT IS MY ART PENCIL. I HAVE SOME DRAWING TO DO."

Karkat pulled a grey pencil from his deck, as well as a large piece of paper, and set the paper on the ground in front of Vriska, and went to town drawing as Vriska explained the plan, "Let's run down the threat list, with a full de8riefing on each threat. We'll start with the 8ig fish herself, the former empress of our world, Her Imperious Condescension. The only reason we've 8een a8le to temporarily neutralize her stranglehold on this session is 8y taking two major pieces away from her, Harley and Crocker. Rest assured, she's already scheming to reassert her dominance, and if it weren't for my intervention here, I'd 8et everything I had on the sea witch."

Karkat had drawn a diagram of the Skaia solar system by that time, eagerly focused. "She's spent centuries upgrading her a8ilities which now include 8OTH kinds of telekinesis. The simpler variety more common to rust 8loods, and the nasty kind which sometimes yellow 8looded mutants have involving all the fucking eye lasers and shit. If that weren't enough, she has a mix of telepathic a8ilities too, like mine, plus the animal communion kind more typical of 8rown 8loods."

"lIKE ME!" Tavrossprite mentioned.

"Yes Tavros, like you. This means she can hijack animals AND trolls, assuming they aren't particularly resistant to influence, like me o8viously. Humans I'm guessing are still off limits to her influence, unless they've got some animal 8lood in them, which is what makes Jade such a dangerous element here. One of the mission critical priorities is to make sure she stays asleep. If she ever wakes up, and the Condesce takes control again, that's pro8a8ly game over for you guys. Jade's first guardian a8ilities make her too much to deal with on top of everything else. It's also possi8le that the Condesce may have some sway over the prospitian and one of the Jacks 8ecause of their part-dog n8ture too. It's hard to say what their level of resistance is, so I really can't 8e sure. Strategically, it's 8est to err on the safe side though, and presume this could 8e an issue. This is why taking on the Condesce has to 8e a HUGE PRIORITY! Ideally, you should 8e trying to kill or disa8le her as quickly as possi8le. 8ut if that's easier said than done, then what you need to do is keep her OCCUPIED! Throw everything you have at her. Whatever crazy powers you've got. Just keep her 8usy! Distracted enough 8y a 8unch of pesky kids so she won't have time to get clever with her powers. This is the 8est defense against the off-chance she might 8e a8le to sway the dog Jack and prospitian, AND a failsafe in case Jade wakes up for whatever reason. When it comes to killing her, I don't have much to advise. There's no intel on her weaknesses or anything like that. In fact, I'd 8et she doesnt have any. Like any powerful endgame 8oss, you just have to keep hammering away at her until she's dead." She waved her hand in dismissal, as Karkat finished the drawing of the condensce. "Nuff said!"

"This 8rings us to the Jacks. To differenti8, I'll give them nicknames," she raised three fingers and pointed to each of them in turn, "There's Dog Jack, Lord Jack, and Ro8o Jack. Let's talk a8out them in order of threat level. Karkat, I'm going to need another shitty drawing, this time, of Dog Jack and his prospitian counterpart, please."

Eridan looked down at whatever Karkat was drawing, only to see a crudely drawn picture of two hands giving Vriska the middle finger.

"Ah yes. I see you are intent on 8eing a wiggler a8out this, as we have all come to expect. Whatever, I've 8een working within the confines of everyone's stupid limit8tions already, so I might as well work around yours as well."

She hopped down from her fridge, kicking Karkat out of the way in the process, and knelt down with her own blue coloured pencil to fix the situation, while Karkat groaned in pain beside her.

"There, perfect," she said, having drawn a pair of Kacks on the fingers. "Dog Jack is easily the most powerful adversary of the 8unch, in terms of pure physical capa8ility. The Condesce has the edge in guile and flexi8ility, and Lord Jack has a ton of offensive power too... 8ut there's nothing quite like the first guardian a8ilities to give someone an overwhelming tactical advantage. The a8ility to teleport anywhere in the session any time, or ANYONE anywhere any time, while having access to an inexhausti8le power supply from the green sun really makes it no contest, even against an otherwise awesome com8atant. If it were just him you had to deal with, I wouldn't like your odds, honestly. 8ut luckily for us, there's a major factor here which should mostly neutralize him during this huge melee, which is the prospitian. Power-wise, she's a precisely even match for him. And 8etter yet, she apparently can't stand the guy. I still don't know what her real motives are, 8ut you know what they say. Enemy of my enemy and all. So I say let her have at him, and if the opportunity presents itself, help her defeat him. I will also give this 8it of advice. If Jade ever wakes up, AND THE CONDESCE IS SUFFICIENTLY PREOCCUPIED, make sure Jade goes nowhere near the Condesce, and sic her on Dog Jack. She's the only one here who's a8ilities are on par with his, so that's where they're 8est applied. Got it? Good."

She pet Karkat's side, helping the boy back over to the paper with his pen, before hopping up on the fridge again. "Next, Lord Jack. Karkat?"

Karkat furiously scribbled a doodle; two balls with the phrase 'KISS MY SNOW GLOBES' over the top. "HOW'S THIS?"

"G8! I think I can work with this." She hopped down again, taking Karkat's place without violence, and drew a terrifying drawing of Jack over the balls. "Ah yes. Another true work of art has 8een made here today. Anyway, this ugly customer you see here? This is the Jack n8tive to the session we're in now. Somehow he got possessed 8y, or like, INFUSED with...? Lord English's crazy, ridiculously destructive magical energy. I have no idea why or how this happened, how it's theoretically even possi8le, or why we should actually care. The fact of the matter is, it happened, and now we have to deal with this hideous rain8ow-eyed monstrosity. Given what I have learned a8out Lord English's a8ilities, this will make his attacks quite lethal, and he will 8e EXTREMELY difficult to kill. In fact, that fucking rain8ow energy might just give him the highest constitution ranking of any adversary, possi8ly making him the toughest one here to actually kill off. The only reason he's not at Dog Tier threat level is 8ecause, for all his power, at least it's localized to wherever he happens to 8e. He's a8out as slow as any of us lowly non-omnipotents. He's not quite as relevant to keep occupied, or even to defeat, as the Condesce herself. 8ut he's still going to 8e HUGE TROU8LE when he gets here. You're going to need to stick some really good fighters on him. My advice is also to SERIOUSLY prepare for casualties during that fight. As the group's chief healer, Jane is going to need rapid access to the multiple fronts of this 8attle. More on that l8ter."

She hopped up on the fridge for the last time, as Karkat took his position again. "That 8rings us to Ro8o Jack. He's the Jack origin8ting from our session. Remem8er him, Karkat and slash or Eridan? We hatched a plan with him to take down the 8lack queen. Seems like so long ago, doesn't it? Now apparently he's got some cy8ernetic upgrades? Who the fuck knows how that happened, or for that matter, why or how he's on his way here now. My mind 8oggles trying to even picture the amount of stupid shit he's 8een through 8etween now and when we knew him. Put this on the ever lengthening list of gar8age that doesn't matter and no8ody cares a8out. The fact is, we have no idea what his affili8tions are at this point, 8ut like I'm always saying... 8est to just plan for the worst, and assume this is just another scru8 we've gotta kill. He's the lowest on the threat level, though his various enhancements and accessories may pose more of a challenge than we 8argained for. He's also traveling with a juju known for its high storage capacity, so he's possi8ly packing company. May8e a LOT of company..." She shook her head. "I won't get into that now though. You're going to need to reserve a squad for dealing with this guy and whoever he's 8rought along for the ride. It's a lesser priority, so I'd recommend an ensem8le of third-stringers. No offense to whoever those 8rave souls may 8e! Every lamewad has their place in an epic 8attle, and everyone's effort counts. Eg8ert-looking kid, I'm looking at you.

Jake gasped, though it was hard to tell whether it was excitement or offense.

"Possi8ly you too, Tavros. May8e." Vriska clapped her hands together excitedly. "That covers the overall tactical situ8tion! Gr8 jo8, Karkat. Really, just an all around gr8, gr8 jo8. I mean that. Now, listen... We've got to keep these 8attles spread out across the session so you all don't start tripping on each other's toes, turning this into more of a clusterfuck than it already is. That means you need to st8tion teams ready to intercept the Jacks wherever they're coming from. You also need to launch your lightning-strike raid on the Condesce 8efore any of them get here. As for your party's healer, like I said, she'll need to 8e highly mo8ile. So what you'll need to do is lay out a network of key portals and transporters so she can make the rounds, and 8e in tight communic8tion with her. One of you less relevant, more mo8ile folks should get on that now."

Vriska hopped down, and sauntered over to a large window by the group, their gaze following the girl as she stood over it and explained, "See? Scatter window portals like these around the various 8attle sites."

Roxy raised an eyebrow and hand in unison, and asked "yo did you loot my house or something..."

Vriska waved her off, "Please don't interrupt. Transportalizers will work too, if you can get them all hooked up right. This is definitely 8usywork, 8ut it's also really important. So we need someone competent in charge of this.

"I think I can handle that," the Rosesprite told her confidently.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I'm quite mobile in this new form. Also I think my abilities will help with forecasting the optimal network to lay out, along with helping Jane coordinate her routes during battle. Plus, I have to admit. I kind of relish the idea of being a "less relevant" party member. Particularly since I think it is inherently true now."

"Ok, Rose... um. Rosesprite? That's gr8. You can volunteer for that jo8 if you want.8ut let's not get ahead of ourselves! We'll 8e divvying up the roles momentarily. 8ut, cool. We have you down for that. Again, it's critical. The whole party will need to defend Crocker's life at all costs. She CAN'T get sucked into any com8at! If she dies, you could all 8e fucked. 8e sure to fill her in on the logistics whenever Arquius has finished deprogramming her. Everyone got it?" A series of murmurs from the crowd. "Awesome. Since that pretty thoroughly covers the full tactical situ8tion, we can move on to the real strategizing. NOW we can assign com8at roles. Let's go down the list of foes again, and assign party mem8ers to each 8attle."

Vriska raised a finger to the group. "The Condesce. We'll need a team to raid Derse again, 8ut this time for all the mar8les. And remem8er, the raid has to start 8EFORE the rest of the action, to keep her from getting the upper hand. And the party has to 8e at LEAST good enough to if not defeat her, keep her 8usy for a long time. So who wants a piece of the sea witch?"

The two Lalonde's raised their hands and voices in unison agreement to go.

"Alright, I've got two takers from the Lalonde camp. We'll need more though. Who else?"

"i'll go!" John exclaimed.

"You sure, John?"

"i think so. from what you said, it sounds like this is the most important battle. if we don't keep her busy, everything could get messed up. i think i'd be good at that! i can use all my windy powers for distractions and such.

Vriska shrugged her shoulders. "Ok. You're with the Lalondes then. Make it count!"

Kanaya chimed in, "I May As Well Go Too It Would Be A Shame If The Party Defeating The Woman Who Terrorized Our Planet For Ages Had No Representation From Our Species."

"Shame or not, I'm afraid that won't work Kanaya."

"Why Not?"

"You can't join their party. Well, not yet at least. There's another critical role which you specifically need to play first. We can't risk losing you in 8attle until it's complete."

"What Is It?"

"I'll explain l8ter! After the teams are set."

Eridan looked between the fighters of the condensce, a team of humans sent to take down a leader that Eridan had followed for sweeps. But now… he couldn't help but think about how terribly she treated even him, a supposed higher up yet still in the same condition as any other troll. She really was a horrid ruler, huh?

He took in a deep breath, before shouting, "i wwill go."

Vriska looked over at him, slightly put off by his declaration. "Eridan, huh? I was going to put you on lamewad duty 8ut it couldn't hurt to have you on condesce duty I guess. Try not to wimp out once you see that Goddess waltz down here. Anyways…" Vriska whisked her hand up to wrap up the conversation. "Next foe: Dog Jack. Like I said, we're 8anking on the prospitian keeping him 8usy, so he's not an immedi8te 8attle priority. We won't design8 a team for him right now. 8UT, as I mentioned, in the event Jade wakes up for some reason, she should 8e reserved exclusively for this fight. That means someone needs to tell her, if not in person, then some other way. Perhaps leave a reminder for her. May8e tied to her finger or something." She gave a sly wink, much to some of the gang's confusion. "Others can join the fight against him if need 8e, once their targets have 8een dealt with. Until then, 8etter to let the heavy hitters keep him in check. Next: Lord Jack. Who wants di8s on this guy?"

"i guess thats me," Dave chimed in, adjusting his glasses with one hand.

"Ok, Dave," Vriska replied.

"there are all these rumors swirling around that ive gotta beat LE anyway which is probably bogus but w slash e. killing this guy at least would be the next best thing right? so maybe if i do that i could like put the "prophecy" to rest."

"That logic sounds reasona8le to me. For what it's worth, I never 8ought into the idea that you were supposed to 8e the one to kill English anyway. So that's one down. Who else?"

"OK, WHY NOT?" The Seer of Mind said as well.

"You sure, Terezi? You're not immortal, remem8er. And this one's going to 8e tough."

"YOU S41D W3 N33D GOOD F1GHT3RS TO GO 4T TH1S GUY, 4ND 1 TH1NK 1'M PR3TTY D3C3NT. 4T L34ST 4T ST4BB1NG TH1NGS. SO 1'LL GO. B3S1D3S, *SOM3ON3* H4S TO W1TN3SS D4V3'S H3RO1SM, 1F H3 W4NTS TO B3 L3T OFF TH3 HOOK FOR TH4T PROPH3CY."

"Hey, it's your decision! Anyone else?"

"WH4T 4BOUT D4V3'S BRO? 1 H34RD H3'S SUPPOS3D TO B3 HOT SH1T?"

"um," Dave raised his finger, "yeah sure thats fine if uh youre comfortable volunteering someone who isnt here for a deadly battle. its cool if you want to do that."

"Dave, come on. As if it's not extremely likely he'd seek you out upon getting here anyway. Why don't we just pencil him into the team as "Pro8a8ly"?"

Dave gave a slight sigh in response, but remained speechless.

"Just 8e sure to de8rief him on the whole situation when he gets here. Think you can handle that, Dave- Ok, gr8! Which reminds me... What a8out you, Arquius? How do you want to fit into this?"

"I haven't decided yet," the Sprite answered honestly, "I'm going to crunch some more numbers in the vast combat matri% I just compiled now, in the microblink of a nanosecond, to deduce the optimal strategic appropriation of my assets (i.e. muscles). Joining Real Dave in battle is semitempting, but I do not wish to horn in on Real Dirk's. Instead I would prefer to blaze my own trail, with my own hooves. I always wanted to do something really important and heroic. I mean, aside from all the other stuff I have done like that, which is quite a lot. But something quite grandiose, and perfectly unmistakable as a gesture turning the tide of fortune for all of e%istence. This is what I have always desired. Well, that is to say, both halves of me once had such an ambivalent desire, which was compromised by our respective internalized confli%. But together, that desire is fully realized. No longer ambivalent. Neigh, it is now fully bivalent. Perhaps even univalent. I would like my gesture to shock everyone. It must come from out of the b100, make virtually no sense, stun all involved, and have a lasting, profoundly unintelligible impact an all future and pseudofuture events."

Vriska held her mouth open wide, mesmerized by the draw-dropping monologue the red shaded Arquius just performed for the group.

"Does this answer your question?" Arquius asked.

"Oh! Sorry, I was just temporarily mesmerized 8y your incredi8le spiel," the girl gave a single clap. "Needless to say, I a8solutely agree with your philosophy on heroic action and wanting to do something important. In any case, you've earned the right to do whatever the fuck you want, just 8y dint of 8eing awesome. End of story! Ok, next... We'll need to design8 a team for Ro8o Jack and his... entourage. Alright, full disclosure. This is where things get kind of stupid. Even talking a8out this guy and his crew is pro8a8ly a waste of good tactical analysis. 8ut the fact is, he's going to 8e here, and you're going to have to deal with his 8ullshit. I strongly recommend the dregs of your party get stuck with mop-up duty on this."

Vriska began to chuckle to herself. "Really, I'm kind of laughing already. Oh man. I really don't want to spoil too much fun for you guys, 8ut. No, I shouldn't."

"what?" John sighed out.

"Ok, intelligence reports I have gathered, namely through a 8it of time hopping reconnaissance, suggests that Ro8o Jack may, I repeat MAY, 8e in transit with a 8unch of green time traveling idiots in that oven. Don't quote me on that. Anyway, if true, none of these 8ozos are particularly powerful. They'll mainly just 8e a nuisance. So who wants to deal with them? Hmmmmmmmm?" She looked across the group, her eyes falling on Eridan just before she remembered his voluntary death wish, and then on the underpants laden wonder kid Jake. "Hey kid. Kid!" She clicked in his direction, though he didn't respond. "Yes, I'm talking to you again. God damn it, what was his name again? Joke?"

"vRISKA, sTOP," the Tavros Sprite exclaimed nervously. "iT'S JAPE, aND YOU KNOW IT,"

"Listen, Joke." Still no response, so she bashed her foot on the fridge, finally garnering his attention. "Joke! Snap OUT of it! I'm talking to you."

Jake rubbed his head in shock, before gasping, "Oh sorry."

"This is a strategy session, Joke. Please stay alert. Now do you think you can handle 8eing on this team?"

"Um..."

"Awesome. That's the spirit. This assignment should 8e right up your alley, kid. Who else?"

"mE, i'LL DO IT," Tavros hesitantly said.

"Thanks for volunteering Tavros. This fight is pretty well suited to your skillset too. And you can join Joke here to help him get ready, 8ut there's one thing I need you to do 8efore the 8attle starts."

"oH, rEALLY, wHAT?"

"I'll explain to you l8ter in priv8. 8ut it's critical, and something only you can do."

"oHHH! tHAT MAKES ME, tHE FUNNY FEELINGS COMBINATION, oF SKEPTICAL, nERVOUS, aND EXCITED,"

"Good! That's exactly how you should 8e feeling a8out it, trust me. So anyone else want to step forward?"

"ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME NOW?" Karkat exclaimed, scratching his fingers down his face.

"Come again?"

"WELL, LET'S SEE IF I'M TALLYING THIS UP RIGHT. JOHN, LALONDES ONE AND TWO, AND ERIDAN FUCKING AMPORA ARE ON TEAM CONDESCE. THE STRIDER BROS AND PYROPE ARE ON THE LORD TEAM. JADE, WHEN NOT ON NAP DUTY, IS ON THE DOG TEAM, EXCLUSIVELY. THE MAYOR ISN'T DOING SHIT, BECAUSE I AM *PERSONALLY* SEEING TO IT THAT NOT A SINGLE POST-APOCALYPTIC TATTER ON HIS HEAD GETS HARMED. CROCKER IS ON HEALING DETAIL, AND LALONDE THREE VOLUNTEERED TO SUPPORT THAT. KANAYA HAS SOME VAGUE YET TO BE EXPLAINED MISSION TO DO, AND SO DOES TAVROS. AND JOKE HERE JUST GOT SHUNTED OFF TO THE PEEWEE LEAGUE. SO WHO THE FUCK IS EVEN LEFT, ASIDE FROM ME? AND THE FUCKING CAT I GUESS. ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULDN'T PICK A ROLE FOR ROSE'S FUCKING CAT LUSUS BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE *ABSOLUTE* BOTTOM OF THE BARREL, SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS "THE VANTAS ZONE"?"

"Oh, gr8 point Karkat! Hey there, kitty."

"MEOW!" The cat boy said, his soft lisp soothing to the ear.

"What would you like to do?"

"I would like to eat some tuna fish and cuddle with either rose or roxy or both!"

"Awwwwwwww!" Vriska clicked her mouth. "Ok, that can 8e your very important jo8. Don't let us down!"

"Purr purr purr." Jasper winked at her.

"THANK GOD WE SORTED THAT OUT. NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THE KITTY CAT IS HEADING UP THE FISH EATING OPERATION, I THINK WE CAN SAFELY PROCEED TO THE RUNG OF STRATEGIC IMPORTANCE DIRECTLY BELOW THAT. THE INFAMOUS "WHAT IS KARKAT GOING TO DO?" RUNG. AND SINCE EVERYONE ELSE HAS A JOB, AND MY SKILLS ARE RELATIVELY UNIMPRESSIVE, I'LL HAVE TO SIGN UP FOR TEAM DIPSHIT TOO. HELL, EVEN THE KID IN THE BANANA HAMMOCK IS A GOD TIER AT LEAST. SO I GUESS THAT MEANS I'LL BE TAKING ORDERS FROM HIM? SURE WHY NOT! SECOND IN COMMAND TO A THIRD RATE HERO. SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT TO ME."

"Karkat, yes, you're a8solutely right that you 8asically suck, and that as a tactical resource you should 8e managed accordingly. 8ut you aren't joining Joke's team, or doing any fighting for that matter. Like Kanaya, there's another more pressing matter reserved for you. In fact, it's the same as hers!"

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THIS!"

"Karkat, I already alluded to this when you waltzed over, interrupted my conversation with Kanaya, and pretended you weren't flirting with me. Remem8er?"

"OH. RIGHT. WELL? WHAT'S THIS "PRESSING MATTER"?"

"I'm getting to that! Very soon, in fact. I just needed to get the teams squared away first."

"OK WELL... ARE THEY?!"

"Looks like it!"

"SO THAT MEANS JOKE... FUCK. *JAKE* I MEAN. REALLY IS A ONE MAN TEAM, DESIGNATED FOR ROBO JACK AND HIS OVEN BOZOS?"

"Apparently. You ok with that, kid?"

"UM..."

"You can do it. Just 8elieve in yourself, or whatever the fuck. When in dou8t, just remind yourself that 8attle isn't even particularly important. And help could 8e on the way once some of the other 8attles start coming to some sort of resolution. Just hang in there!"

"O... okay," Jake stammered out.

"Excellent! That concludes the tactical planning part of this de8riefing. It's all perfectly logical, right? No questions or anything? Cool. Really, I shudder to think what you num8skulls would 8e doing if I weren't around, like John just implied with his nice remarks. He really did you all the 8iggest fucking favor in the history of time shenanigans 8y clo88ering me in the face three years ago. You should all make him a gift 8asket when this is over to show your gratitude. No need to thank me of course. I'm just doing my jo8 here. Now! Let's go over some really 8asic non-com8at endgame stuff, then we'll 8e ready to 8r8k. First, a8out Kanaya and Karkat's "mission" I alluded to a minute ago. This is really important. You 8oth listening?"

"Yes," the Jade-blood said.

"NO," the Red-blood said.

Eridan sighed, before he felt John tug at his sweater's sleeve, leaning to the side to listen to the boy, "hey dude! you sure about coming along to kill the queen of the fish? like, isn't she your idol or something?"

"idol?" Eridan replied, shocked at the accusation. "wwhy the fuck wwould i idolise her? are you sayin that just cause wwere both fish?"

"what?!" John exclaimed quietly, his face turning red. "n-no! i just thought cause… you…"

"jegus toilet lickin fuck i cant BELIEVVE that you wwould say somethin as classist as that! it's the current swweep john you cant just say shit like that."

"b-b-but i just… i was just…"

"you disgust me john. i kneww humans were okay but you must be the exception. youre a disgrace to the rest of humanity cause at least they arent judgemental."

"but weren't you like, super against lower bloods?"

"thats in the past john. i expect better from you."

They turned back to Vriska, who had pulled out a large 8 ball, with a blue and green coloured smaller ball inside, and was addressing the rest of the team again, "When you enter the new universe, you're going to need a planet to live on. Why not just resettle the one you all grew up on? The Condesce kind of fucked it up though. In your scratched universe, she spent a few centuries getting it ready for a new troll "paradise". She flooded the whole thing. So when you get there, you'll need to skip ahead to some time far in the future, when the oceans have receded. Should 8e liva8le 8y then. Hell, it may even 8e a pretty nice place! Here John," she waltzed over and laid the orb in his outstretched hands, "take this. When the 8attle is over, make sure you give it to Jade."

"what is it?" John asked, looking deep into the ball.

"It's Earth! Remem8er how three years ago you told Terezi we needed your wallet, 8ut you didn't have it? Well in the time since, we talked a8out it a lot, and figured this was most likely the reason she told you to give it to us. It wasn't a 8ig deal, actually. We spent some time deciphering the code for your wallet. It took a little while, and a few lucky guesses on the code digits, 8ut we eventually got there. Then I just used it to upgrade my much cooler 8 8all modus."

"you hacked my dad's wallet?"

"Sure. Like I said, we had some time on our hands. It is after all just a fucking wallet. It's not like it's some legendary item he got on some mythical dad quest. I mean, he did 8UY the thing somewhere, right?"

"um. yeah, i guess so. i dunno. i still think it's a pretty special thing."

"Nope!" Vriska explained, giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder. "Sorry to 8e the 8earer of 8ad news. It is literally... just a wallet. Anyway, then, 8efore I did the scouting work on this session, I rode the meteor through the g8, watched it crash on Earth, then just captchalogued the whole damn thing and got out of there. No sweat! Presuma8ly like Grim8ark Jade was supposed to, if she wasn't asleep. Again, it was a pretty good plan, she just never saw me coming. Sorry Condy, if you want your waterlogged little glo8e 8ack, you'll have to pry it from John's dead hands now."

"er…" John looked into it, the swirling clouds encapsulating the tiny world. "...yeah."

"Those are the important things to remem8er, 8ut don't forget the 8asics. Remem8er to finish 8uilding up your hives as far as they'll go. Then deploy the grist rigs which will disperse your planets' hoards into Skaia, giving it the nutrients it needs to mature the frog. This is Sgru8 101 stuff, 8ut I guess it 8ears repeating since most of you have never actually made it this far. When the hoards are empty and Skaia is ready, then all you have to do is make sure someone's in position to ignite the forge. Then everyone rendezvous right 8ack here on the lily pad to claim the Ultim8 Reward. Which is represented 8y the hive shape thingy with a door on it that leads to the new universe. Any questions 8efore we kick this into action?"

"yes, i have one," John spoke up. "vriska, what's YOUR part in all this, aside from making all these air tight plans? you've been making it sound like you won't be here when all this happens!"

"Of course I won't, I'll 8e off doing something much more important than all this. I'm traveling to the furthest ring to go kill Lord English."

"WHAT? wow. isn't that going to be, uh... hard?"

"Of course it will 8e."

"are you sure you can even... DO that? like, by yourself, i mean."

"John, I'm not an idiot. I won't 8e diving into this 8lindly. See, somewhere out there in the incomprehensi8le causal-stew of the furthest ring, there was once a plan that was coming together to defeat him once and for all. It involved a secret weapon, an army, and all sorts of other shenanigans."

"yeah, this... sounds weirdly familiar."

"Oh, I'm sure it does. 8ut the point is, along the way, that plan stalled went nowhere 8ecause the party involved disintegr8ted and lost their way. So someone needs to light a fire under that shit again, and I don't see anyone else stepping forward."

"how are you going to do that?"

"Let me worry a8out that, you have your hands full enough as it is."

"i also havve a question," Eridan claimed, raising his hand.

"Shoot."

"wwould i be able to go into the dream bubbles and come back before the fight?"

Vriska raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to do that?"

"ivve got some unfinished business down there that id like to wwrap up."

"Ooooooh, ominous. When did you get so god damn vague? 8ut yeah, if you've got a way there and 8ack knock yourself out for like… an hour and a half."

"okay." Eridan reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small ring, something he'd snatched from Aranea back in the old universe. He hoped they worked like he thought they did.

"Gr8! Now that that's all set, everyone should get to they're stations."

"hold up," Dave stopped her, "i think were still missing someone from our party. like dont get me wrong im sure it doesnt matter to him if we point out the guys he has to kill and say, 'fetch', fetch meaning fucking slaughter, but it doesnt feel right to think up a battle plan without bro the second; young edition."

"Jesus Christ, fine, whatever. Since you're too pathetic to wait-"

A resounding, "HEY!" from Karkat in response.

"-I'll jus have to speed things up. Vriska to the rescue AGAIN."

"what the fuck can you even do."

"I told you," she explained, pulling out a cherry red sniper rifle, almost three quarters as tall as her, and pointed it at the sky, "I'm speeding things up." With a crack from her sniper rifle, the flash and sound causing those near to stumble back in shock, the bullet flew far and fast towards the horizon. In almost a second, the fourth wall on the ground powered up, and a pink and purple figure bounded out of it and fell into Dave, the two of them landing sitting up in front of each other.

"There you go! Strider, meet Strider." It was the same guy Eridan had met in the old universe, his Heart symbol a large tell, his outfit cut around muscly upper body. Dirk.

"He's pretty fucked up, 8ut pro8a8ly a nice guy once you get to know him. Which one am I talking a8out, you ask? Who knows! Feeling awkward yet? Here's an idea. Get the fuck over it. Ok guys, I'm out of here. I'm not sure I can take another second of this."

"jeez vriska, are they really that bad?" John asked.

"Who, the Striders? No, they're fine. That's not what I was talking a8out. There's another pro8lem out there in paradox space which I can't stand for. Not another moment. In fact, it makes me shudder just thinking a8out this lingering flaw which has yet to 8e rectified."

"oh, what is it?"

Vriska cracked her neck, standing over the fourth wall, the light shining from the other side. "My ghost is being…" she took a step back, before launching herself into the wall, "… a FUCKING LOSER!" And with that, she was gone, the wall closing behind her.

John stared deeply into the wall, looking awfully concerned, before turning to Eridan and asking, "so what did you have to do fish buddy?"

Eridan raised the ring to his glasses, looking through the hole. "ivve got some loose ends i need to apologise to. partly relating to vvriska's business as wwell but ivve got someone before that i can take care of. im makin this right." He raised his other hand, the one finger without a ring pointed out. "im makin a better troll out of myself." And by the next second, he was gone, the ring on his hand and a goal on his mind.


	60. Eridan: Transport

**Prince of Heart- Jesus what am I gonna do with my life when this is over. This things nearly two fucking years old. Holy shit.**

 **This things nearly two fucking years old.**

 **I can't believe some like three of you have been reading this since day one.**

The darkness spat Eridan out after a nano-second of entering it, like he'd just popped into reality, even if that was an in-apt word for it. He landed on his feet for once, nailing a landing he had blundered so many times before. His gaze rendered up, into the dreamland he willingly entered, and he found himself in the midst of an empty city, hive's strewn around him in a disorderly fashion, in jagged shapes and of various colours. He seemed to be in the middle of a street, wide enough for a hoofbeast to go up and down at the same time, extending down to the edge of what seemed like another dream-land, as he could tell from the dark hues of the grass from a distance. The buildings seemed creaky, not from old age considering it was a dreamland, but from the vast emptiness of it all. This wasn't a city Eridan recognised either, yet it seemed vaguely familiar. Maybe it was the same city he'd landed in when everyone met their other universe counterparts? It did ring a bell.

But there was no time to figure the mysteries out, he was on business. And first on the list, an asshole to find and talk through with. The ring must have brought him here for a reason; why the city in the middle of a street? There has to be one. He took a step to the sidewalk, his cape dragging up the curvature, and looked through a window into the block of a hive near him, taking in the desolate room inside. Nothing at all. He pursed his lips, and walked a few feet to the next hive and peered in, only to see the same. None of the interiors were decorated it seemed, and to a more startling point, none had entrances to them besides the windows. He thought about smashing one through and starting from there, but he heard a couple of voices from the alleyway next to him, so he decided to follow the sounds to their source. He rounded the corner, careful not to kick over a pile of garbage just around it, and saw two figures- a male and a female- conversing down the end of it. The ring did bring him here for a reason. He found the exact guy he was looking for; the leather jacket and slicked back hair gave it away.

Cronus Ampora, as ghostly as ever. Probably hitting on the girl with terrible tact and wit no doubt. Though… they didn't seem to be conversing as much as making hand gestures at each other. The girl he didn't recognise either, standing just shorter from Cronus by and a couple inches, though that still gave her a couple inches above Eridan. She wore a short skirt that barely reached halfway down her thighs, with some sort of olive green, woolen short sleeved jumper over a long sleeved collared black shirt, as well as a pair of thigh high socks and slip on shoes. Her hair was long, reaching halfway down her back, with a pair of pointy Nepeta-esque horns poking out the top.

Eridan lent against the wall, watching the two wrap up their conversation, with no clue of what they were saying, or rather signing. Though the two seemed to be enjoying themselves, as told by their wide smiles and occasional bouts of laughter. Eventually, the two stopped their signing, with the girl placing her arms against Cronus's chest, and leaning in to share a surprisingly passionate kiss between the two, an action that shocked Eridan to his core. WAS that Cronus? He didn't seem to remember the guy being able to pull in any ladies with his 'charm.' The two left each other's embrace a moment after, before the girl signed something really quick and turned towards the entrance to the alley to leave. That's when she spotted Eridan, and let out startled, tone deaf eek. Cronus followed her gaze, him too now staring at Eridan with blank eyes, and the three stood in silence as a smile formed at Eridan's mouth. Now he remembered a brief comment made a long time ago by Aranea regarding Cronus the last time he'd seen him about a girl sending Cronus 'not safe for work' pictures.

"meulin im assumin?" he asked, hiding his surprise from the two.

The girl blushed olive, giving a nervous laugh and replying, surprisingly loudly, "EXCUSE ME?"

Eridan was taken aback by the girl shouting her reply, cleaning out his ear. "uh wwhy did you just yell at me?"

The girl looked at Eridan, a blank stare from her white eyes, before Cronus jogged up beside her, tapped her shoulder, and made a series of hand gestures to her. The girl nodded her head, turned to Eridan, and continued to shout, "PURRTAINLY, THAT'S ME!"

"oh my GOG could you stop fuckin shoutin at me," Eridan said in a harsher tone.

"shes deaf babe, dont dwvell on it," Cronus informed him, before turning to Meulin and signing something out. The girl nodded, gave a polite smile and wave to Eridan, and walked off around the corner into the unknown.

Eridan smiled, something genuine for once, and turned back to his ancestor. "so. howw long has that been a thing cro?"

"jeez babe dont go spreading it around but… officially? a couple a swveeps."

"i thought you wwerent a matesprit type of guy? i fuckin thought you couldnt evven get a girl to speak to you for fivve minutes."

"look it's just… i dunno babe. wve started talking about fifty swveeps ago wvhen i got punched pretty hard by that fish babe meenah, but i guess talking's the wvrong word. more like wvriting to each other on one of the cigarette packs i had. and i just kinda started to dig her, y'know? she wvould laugh at my lines instead of hurt me, and wvas vwery fun to talk to, wvith all her excitability and actually wvanting to keep a convwersation going. i cant really explain it babe. she'd go on and on about wvho wvould make good and bad couples, and the traction and vwibes betwveen people, and i could just sit there for hours listening to her, wvriting dowvn my opinions as wvell. and babe let me tell you, she has a KILLER bod, wvhich i found out a few dozen sweeps in wvhen she 'accidentally' sent me a pic. that sparked something in me babe. i dunno wvhether it wvas the fact that she wvas the first girl to have red feelings for me in millions of swveeps, or the fact that evwery time wve met my ghost heart wvould jump outta my ghost bod. but i decided to learn sign language a couple decades ago."

Eridan raised an eyebrow. "wwas THAT wwhat all those spastic movvements wwere about?"

"yeah babe, it wvas. it wvas the hardest thing i'vwe evwer done, but i managed it."

"but you flirted wwith evveryone you met wwhy the fuck wwould she wwant your ass?"

Cronus shrugged, "your guess is as good as mine babe."

"yeah but then also wwhy the hell are you guys so secretivve?"

"gog damn it babe wvhy are you so fucking nosy today? it's because her fucking moirail scares the shit outta me. all he does is stare, smile, and occasionally flip the wing-beast at you. wvhenevwer i see him i get choked up for no reason as wvell."

"thats it? id be screamin it from the rooftops if i managed to catch her. you should go for it, uh, 'babe'."

Cronus sighed, "i knowv babe. but i just wvorry about howv she's going to be judged by evweryone for being wvith the guy evwerybody hates."

"if she has red feelins for you, she wwont care cro. fuck them. take all that douchey confidence you had wwhen you wwent to pick up evweryone and use it for good."

"are you sure babe? wvhat if it crashes the entire relationship like it probably wvill? i don't wvant the only person that likes me that wvay to hate me."

"cro its comin from me. theres so much bs i regret not doin cause i hated wwhat COULDVVE happened but noww ivve learned that you cant do that cause youll hate your life. you need to stop focusin on little chances of bad things and focus on the bigger chances of good things. its wwhy im here in dreamland after all. to… apologise."

"apologise? for wvhat?"

"for bein an ass to you. and another person here that i left on bad terms."

"being an ass…? oh right, i'd forgotten about that. all wvater in the castle moat babe."

Eridan feign-wiped his brow. "pheww wwell that wwent ovver easily. check one of the list."

"thank you though babe. i really needed you to tell me wvhat you did. good luck on your advwenture." Cronus gave Eridan a one armed hug, staying there for a few seconds, before running out the alleyway, waving to Eridan. "im sorry as wvell babe bt dubs."

Eridan smiled as he stared out the alleyway, let out a short chuckle to himself, a sauntered out the alleyway as well, off to apologise to the other person he knew was here that he had to apologise to.


	61. The Real Prince of Hope

**Prince of Heart- I know I know, late as always. But this fic ain't dyin as long as I breathe. I plan on finishing it, whether y'all want it or not.**

Eridan pulled himself up onto a series of reddish rocks, bringing his cape up with him, until he stood upon the small pile with a widespread view of the Dream Bubble he was in. His attention was first drawn up, as he adjusted his glasses, at the sky, cracked and crumbling in on itself, almost like a glass window pane that had been smashed with a bat. The cracks flashed on and off in sparkles of blue, black, and white, some of which almost seemed to drip off the sky, a magnificent sight to see for a former sceptic like him. He followed the horizon down, all the way to the safety of the ground, where he was headed to. Wherever the hell that was. He followed where the wind lead him, blowing through the short green grass and cracks in the thick, red rocks. A natural rock arch stood proudly in the distance, hiding the path to another dream bubble up ahead, though he had no use of it. His objective was here. SHE was here.

He looked to his right side, a long, empty field greeting him with an awkward, ghostly silence, his cape wavering in his view. He attempted to push the flappy article down, though the moment he let go, it just went to do it again to his annoyance. He then looked to his left, where he finally saw something familiar amidst the tall grass and solid rocks. Two figures sat on the ground against a large rock, legs pulled up to their stomachs and hands interlocked, staring up into the sky as it continued to crack and fall apart, the very fabric of space seeming to tear into seams. As he approached, the figures got clearer to him; the one on the right with her recognisable shoulder length messy hair and teal tinted eyes, but the other less recognisable surprisingly. Her clothes seemed unlike her, a sleeveless top with short denim shorts overlapping a pair of black leggings as well as a pair of red lace up sneakers, with her hair tied into several braids that laid amongst her and various piercings on her face and ears, almost like that fish girl that was so much cooler to him than Feferi.

He gave a wave to the characters and greeted with, "heya vvris," he then nodded awkwardly, specifically to the second figure, "terezi."

Vriska chuckled in surprised response to the fish boy, while Terezi narrowed her eyes at the boy and hesitantly replied, "H3Y F1SH DOUCH3."

Vriska tapped Terezi's leg lightly, scolding her, "C'mon 8a8e, play nice!" She then proceeded to greet Eridan back, "Hiya Eridan, it's gr8 to see you again!"

Eridan raised an eyebrow. "uh wwhat? havve i missed something or did you snap fina fuckin ly?"

Vriska shook her head and sighed, "No 8uddy, you're looking at a new and improved Vriska Serket here! After all that 8s at the pir8 adventure, I dated Meenah for a while, and that kid and I had a few laughs sure, 8ut I mean of COURSE it wasn't meant to last. I mean, my gog the gill-" she smacked her own cheek in some sort of realisation, "sorry, GIRL, was six years older than me! SIX!"

Terezi pursed her mouth slightly, interrupting, "M33N4H DUMP3D H3R FOR TH3 N3W VR1SK4."

The punkish Vriska sighed sadly, her arms going limp. "Yeah… 8ut on the 8right side, I met up with Terezi again!" She pulled Terezi inwards, the shorter girl gladly placing her head on her shoulder.

Eridan took a second, but he eventually replied, "oooooh fuck so are you girls like… matesprits noww then?"

Vriska smiled smugly. "What do you think Eridan?"

Eridan placed his hands on his hips and kicked the ground beneath him. "damn i owwe nepeta so much grist noww."

Terezi opened her eyes slightly, so that she squinted at Eridan. "WHY 4R3 YOU H3R3 3R1D4N? H3R3 TO FUCK 3V3RYTH1NG UP 4G41N?"

"ter cmon noww it wwasnt my fault! i had no idea aranea wwould attack like that."

"Wait WHAT?" Vriska squealed, before bursting out laughing. "She fucking WHAT? You're telling me that fucking ARANEA, that 8ORING 8ROAD, ATTACKED THE GROUP?"

"SURPR1S1NGLY SH3 K1CK3D OUR 4SS3S; 3SP3C14LLY W1TH TH3 H3LP OF H3R BOYFR13ND OV3R H3R3," Terezi scowled, directed at the Prince.

"i didnt evven fuckin knoww she wwas doin that wwhole shindig! i wwas too busy bein beaten by that fuckin wwitch to evven realise she made it there!"

"SO WH4T, YOU'R3 ST1LL R3SPONS1BL3 FOR K1LL1NG L1K3 FOUR P3OPL3."

"its fuckin FIVVE people as a matter of fact and three of them wwere self defense one wwas an accident and the other wwas me killin my FUCKIN GIRLFRIEND," Eridan exclaimed, stompling his shoe on the ground to emit a loud crunch. "i didnt mean for any of that to happen i wwas just tryin to defend myself wwhich quite fuckin frankly is more than you actually did! i dont knoww wwhat the fuck wwent down wwith you or wwhy you had gams blood on you but i knoww for absolute CERTAIN that it wwasnt anythin fuckin useful!"

Terezi gritted her teeth, before barking back, "G4MZ33 W4S 4 FUCK1NG PHSYCHOP4TH TH4T H4D TO B3 STOPP3D R3M3MB3R? 1 W4S DO1NG 3V3RYON3 4 F4VOUR!.

"a FAVOUR? i wwas bein torn asunder and tryin to survvivve wwhile you wwere flippin around wwith your kismesis!"

"H8LY SH8T will you ladies stop it! No-one's the 8ad guy here! AND it doesn't matter anymore! The new universe is thriving and the people alive have a chance to actually win this, for everyone, and all you focus on is the past?"

Terezi scrunched up her face in confusion. "H3 K1LL3D FOUR OF OUR FR13NDS!"

"I know Eridan 8etter than you T, if he says it was an accident or self-defence, then it pro8a8ly was! Don't you think he'd 8e a little more open a8out his kills if he had the intent? Gog, and I thought YOU were the detective."

Terezi glanced at Eridan, her blank, white slates of eyes burning into his soul, before she sighed, "Y34H, 1 GU3SS. 1F 1T W4S 4NOTH3R SOL SL4SH F3F3R1 S1TU4T1ON H3'D 4DM1T 1T."

"damn right i wwould," Eridan said, placing his hands on his hips, "wwait wwas that a good thing?"

"MURD3R1NG YOUR FR13NDS 1S N3V3R 4 GOOD TH1NG DUMB4SS, BUT 1F YOU S4Y 1T W4SN'T YOUR F4ULT, 1 B3L13V3 YOU." The girl smiled, slightly showing her pointed jaws. "B3S1D3S, 1'V3 GOT 3T3RN1TY NOW, NO PO1NT 1N HOLD1NG 4 GRUDG3 FOR TH4T LONG. 1 M34N, 1'M NOT VR1SK4!"

"Hey!" Vriska exclaimed, playfully jabbing her partner in the side.

"wwell thats wwhy im here actually. to apologise for everything i did."

"Eridan…" Vriska sighed, before the Prince waved her off.

"no vvris i gotta. im sorry to you ter for evverything i did in the broken univverse. for killin your boyfriend and not finishin off gam wwhile i had the chance. and vvris im sorry for wwhat i said or did in the session and the dream bubbles. im sorry for turnin against you and im sorry for almost killin you on that rooftop like 3 swweeps ago. and i guess i-"

"Eridan, just stop, okay? I appreciate you feeling sorry and all that 8oring 8s 8ut that's not who you are! That's not the Eridan I had a kismesis with all that time ago. The Eridan I knew then was a semi-8adass, who i saw 8reak down a ships hull 8y ramming his own into it, who struck fear into every scurvy dog that dared cross his path. I know it's supposed to be good or whatever that you're owning up to your mistakes, 8ut that defiance you showed in the 8u88le? Christ, on the ROOF? THAT was where you really shine. All this apologising and humility just aren't you, y'know?"

The Thief looked into the distance, and a smile formed on her blue lips. "8ut what IS you is going 8ack to your new session as a new and improved guy! You've said what needed to be said, admitted to your faults, 8ut now you can really shine 8y 8ringing that 8itch of an empress down! I KNOW you Eridan, and you've got my forgiveness, fuck, you had it 8efore you even came here, 8ut now you have to shine as the warrior you are. YOU can finally 8ring whatever 8ullshit Hope you wanted to on that meteor to your group in the session. You finally have your shot. Are you gonna take it? Or throw it the fuck away like every other one you had in our session?"

Eridan squinted his eyes at her for a moment, pursing his lips as he thought. He unknowingly began to twist the Ring of Death around his finger, as a sort of relief to his sanity, before coming to the conclusion:

"im not throwwin awway this fuckin shot. i am eridan gog damn empora the bringer of pain and warload of death. i am the fuckin prince of hope and fuck ANYONE wwho says anythin else!"

He put his hand around the ring on his finger, pawing a little at the edge, before Vriska told him, "Thank you Eridan, you descendant of a 8itch. Give that fish girl a kick in the ribs for me huh?"

Eridan nodded, doing the same to Terezi, then smiled to himself. Everything he done couldn't be forgiven, not in a million sweeps, but fuck anyone who says he couldn't be a good guy if he tried. He was a fucking hero, whether he liked it or not.

And with a yank of the ring off his finger, he returned to the land of the living.


	62. Eridan: Greet Team

**Prince of Heart- Wow what it hasn't been a MONTH fuckin lmaooo**

* * *

Eridan awoke just a moment later, feeling one ring lighter than before, onto a purple marble floor, smooth to the touch on his weathered fingers. He was now finished with everything he had to do; having just finished talking to the dead Vriska a moment ago and making up with his dancestor, he felt re-invigorated, something he hadn't felt since he was sweeps younger, FLARPing on the high seas. Everything had beat him down, torn him apart, made himself his worst enemy, but things were different now, and he had to make sure it wasn't all for nothing. It can not have been for nothing.

Derse was just as he'd remembered it, even if it weren't his own version of the moon, but some other version of his'. With its smooth and clear marble floors that were extremely cold to the touch, to, as he looked up from the ground he landed on with such grace, the twisted and morphing architecture consisting of towers, palaces and walkways coated in that recognisable purple. The only place he ever really felt he belonged way back in his game; when the inhabitants would treat him like a true king, and he actually saw his friends, even if it were only to kill the former queen. He wondered how this universes version of him went in the game, whether he had better relations with his friends or if everything were the same aside from when he died. Which still alluded him, having never been told the circumstances of his heroic death, though he couldn't particularly care. It was a new start for him, and worrying for the past too much only ever bogged him down.

The slightly nasally voice of John was heard from a few meters away, snapping his attention, "oh hey eridan! come on over!"

Eridan jogged over to John's position underneath a large arch and atop a wide walkway, the city still busying itself below with their petite jobs, blissfully unaware of the small-scale battle between literal Gods about to happen. With John were the people that said they would help fight Her Imperious Condescension: the Rogue Roxy and the Seer Rose, all three dressed in their ascended uniforms.

"god i feel fuckin underpowered here," Eridan claimed, stopping beside Roxy, who sat against the railing of the walkway, "will i be any help here evven?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk Eridan," Rose replied, sat up on the railing dangling her legs over the edge, "I thought you were quite eager to fight your former celebrity crush?"

"i nevver fuckin said i had a crush on her but more to my point im not fuckin god tiered so i cant fly around like a hero and shit."

"Not all heroes can fly," Rose told him. "In fact, I'd beg to say that you're the most suited to the role, with such an elaborate and flappy cape."

Eridan huffed, crossing his arms, "you knoww wwhat i mean seer."

"Seer? Not 'wwitch' this time?" Rose poked an eyebrow at him.

"wwhy wwould i call you a wwitch still?"

"Hmm," Rose hummed, looking away from him and kicking her legs slightly, before turning her head back to him. "I kind of miss it. Made me feel like my dreams were coming to life."

"wwell it wwas said outta spite so i havve no clue howw but wwhatevver tickles your fancy wwitch."

Rose smiled, something genuine and uncondescending to Eridan for once, a friendly look in her eyes. "So I assume John can fill you in on our 'master plan'?"

John blinked wildly in his confusion, being put on the spot, but chuckled it off and told Eridan, "uh we don't have one hehheh."

Eridan furrowed his brow through his glasses. "so you havve NOTHIN?"

Roxy piped up with an answer to his obvious question, "nope nada were basically winging it and hoping that we can overpower her between the bunch of us."

Eridan sighed, frustrated at the lack of preparation, before replying, "wwell lucky me for gettin stuck wwith you flounderin triskets. but one in all in and ill fight to my death wwith you guys plan or no."

"Well if we give up," Rose said, hopping from her position and floating just over the railing, "we lose. Period. There won't be any reset buttons, or scratches, coming back from the dead, or abandoning our universe for another; we fail." Rose floated down onto the balcony, and proceeded to clap her hands together once. "But, you know, go team R.R.J.E."

"rrje?" Eridan questioned.

"Our names, in an anogram."

"wouldn't it be better to call it jerr?" John asked, saying the word instead of spelling it.

"Not if I want my slash Roxy's name first up. Take your pick but that's all I'll compromise."

"there is no wway im callin it that," Eridan proclaimed.

Rose chuckled, before sliding down next to Roxy, whom was still twiddling her thumbs out of nervousness, and saying, "So these could be our last days alive guys. If you got any regrets, just put them out there. I'd say that mine was not connecting with my real mother more before she died, letting her know that I appreciate everything she did for me. Oh, how idiotic I was as a thirteen-year-old, believing her to be taunting me by engaging in my hobbies and interests and being proud of me. Yes, ridiculous, but I just thought that before the game, and I hated her for it, and I wish I realised the genuinity of her actions before she went."

"jesus thats depressing as shit yo," Roxy replied, "and so much better than mine holy fuck." Roxy stretched out her arms and lent her head against the railing. "i was just gonna say 'i wish i kissed a guy before i went' ya feel."

"Oh, don't put yourself down Roxy," Rose replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. "That's awfully romantic of you."

Roxy cupped her own hand over Rose's on her shoulder, and gazed at John across from her, whom was still standing up. "maybe surviving will make it much better in some fd up way."

John smiled at her, taking a few seconds to realise she was talking about him, and blushed slightly. He then proceeded, "i guess mine's mostly the same as roses y'know. i wish i knew my dad better and all that. i also wish that id made a better leader instead of messing around the whole game. the only thing i really did good was the whole scratch thing but for pretty much everything else i wasn't there for Rose, Dave, and Jade."

"Well good thing you weren't a leader, remember?" Rose told him. "You were just our friend, trying to help us."

John chuckled, "why are you always so smart rose you should've been the big boss in charge. and i could have been the mischievous prankster of the group!"

Rose smiled in response. "You still made a fine friend-leader in the end John. Don't think otherwise."

Eridan sighed, thinking over the million and one regrets that sat with his heavy heart and destructive brain. There were so many things he wished he could've changed: fucking up his friendships on the meteor, being so enthralled by Aranea, killing all his friends in the old universe-even if it WASN'T his intention-, and all the little things he did on his home planet. All of it he regretted, and yet, he had no clue where to start.

Not that he could've said anything.

"Eridan! Heads up!" Rose shouted at him from his trance, causing him to look up at the group. But there she was, in front of everyone, the big baddie that had tormented his home world, along with numerous others, and ruled with an iron fist. Covered neck to toe in a tight fitting black and purple spandex jumpsuit that showed off curvaceous and fit figure, with her hair extending down to her behind with a crown sitting upon it, and with a pair of fuchsia glasses on the bridge of her nose, reminiscent of an older humans' pair.

Her Imperious Condescension.

"so," she spoke for the first time Eridan had ever heard, "ya'll are the mother glubbers tryna jack my life? well," she pulled her trident out, smashing it into the ground and causing it to crack, "thisll be easy as pie."


	63. Eridan: Strife

**Prince of Heart- Hmmmmm, these chapters are getting further apart, imma need to tighten up that schedule lmao**

Eridan's blood ran cold as he glared at Her Imperious Condescension, the troll everyone had nightmares about nightly, and caused havoc and destruction among his and other species worlds; standing tall and proud just a few dozen feet ahead of the group. His muscles twitched, partly out of anger and partly of fear, as he stared into the almost soul crushing eyes of the absolute bitch Feferi would have had to fight back in their universe for dominance of the monarchy. His rectangular glasses fogged up from his surprisingly heavy breathing caused by his nervousness for the upcoming fight. He pulled out his wand from his specubis, the short stick glowing at his touch; he always trusted the wand to keep him safe; ironic considering all it ever did was bring death and destruction wherever it was used. But then again, Eridan thought, maybe that was the point of it. And all he had to do was point it in the right direction.

He looked beside him at some of his comrades, his friends in this universe. The only person slightly resenting him was Roxy, but it seemed like she didn't particularly hold the grudge for too long, maybe because she understood. The blue garbed Rogue of Void stood beside him, a heavy, funny looking gun in both her small hands, though she held it with determination and grace as she cocked it and stood ready for battle. Just in front of him was the other Lalonde sister, unknowing to what Eridan had done in the previous timeline, with no way of finding it out without asking Roxy. The Seer of Light pushed a strand of loose hair behind her ear, double the magic wands Eridan had sitting easily in her steady hands, glowing a darker white than Eridan knew of. Finally, the goofy Heir of Breath bobbed up and down slowly with his giant hammer gripped tightly in both hands just to his north west, the boy that had saved the universe. They couldn't mess this up. They couldn't AFFORD to mess this up.

The Empress snarled her nose in a wicked smile, twisting her trident around once before she took her battle stance, one foot in front of the other, surprisingly graceful for the giant troll. She cut an imposing figure, nearly twice the size of the eight-sweep old Eridan, and with lengths upon lengths of hair in a twisted contortion behind her body, only pushed back by her solid gold crown. He'd only seen pictures of her before, but he never thought she actually looked like this in person; almost like some gorgeous femme fatale in some low-bloods action novel. The silence in the air was choking Eridan, as he found it surprisingly hard to breathe gazing upon the curvaceous troll, knowing she could cut him down in moments.

That was when it all shattered, when John finally pulled the first move and sprinted at the Empress with his hammer raised high. He jumped higher than Eridan had seen before; above the head of even the eight-foot giantess that was the empress, and swung down with all his might. The empress dodged to her right, letting John hit and further crack the ground with the full force of his hammer. Rose rushed forth after him, aiming for the Empress' left side as she brandished her needles at her sides. She managed to score a hit, sticking both her sharpened needles into the Empress' hip, causing the troll to scream out in pain. But this only lasted a second before the Empress swung her hand down and hit the orange garbed girl, sending her flying over the railing. In that time John had regained his balance and swung his hammer once again into the right side of the Empress. She caught the attack before it managed to land a hit, grabbing onto the hilt of the hammer just above John's hands. Just before she could continue to do anything, a barrage of cube-shaped objects flew into and hit her, sending her off her balance and letting go of John, allowing the boy to land a hit on her finally and send her stumbling back further.

The Empress regained her control just as John went to attack again and blocked the next one with her trident. She then hooked the top of John's hammer with the middle of her trident, lifted the boy up with barely any effort, and threw him down with all her might. The Heir crashed into the ground, and even THROUGH the floor, and down to whatever building was below. The Empress turned to the remaining two kids and proceeded to smil at Eridan through pointed teeth.

"A mo'fuckin fish-troll eh?" She questioned him, much to his grimace. "You really tryna betray your own fuckin race by doin this? By fightin your own leader?"

Eridan spun his wand around in his hand once, the sweat on his palm unbearable, before replying, "you wwerent much of a fuckin leader. i used to followw you to the ends of alternia but all you evver did was send our people to their deaths one by one on some butt fuck planet that wwe nevver gavve a shit about. howwevver bad fef wwas she wwoulda made a better empress than you you fuckin toilet."

"Well it's your life, don't be miserable if I end it a thousand sweeps too early."

The Empress started to run at the two, so Eridan proceeded to raise his wand and fire a powerful white beam, narrowly missing her. The beam continued to fire, so Eridan attempted to follow her movements with it, but for a giantess she was surprisingly nimble as she continued to dodge it. She got frighteningly close to the pair, even as the Rogue readied for a second attack, but she was stopped in her tracks as a pair of smaller beams hit her in the right hip and sent her flying into the railing a few feet away. Eridan looked to where they'd come from and saw that it was John and Rose who had flown back up to the walkway to rejoin the fight. The two floated over and landed just a few feet away from Eridan, readying their weapons again.

The Empress rubbed her head, before snarling and sprinting towards the kids. She swung her trident at John, the boy just dodging out of the way, then looked over at Eridan with glowing, flashing eyes. Eridan stared into them, confused, before Roxy yanked him to the side just as a meter-wide beam flashing with intense colours shot past the two and exploded into the building behind them. Roxy had managed to pull him over the railing with amazing arm-strength, managing to hold him up even in the air, before she threw him back over the railing and behind the Empress. As soon as he landed, the Prince felt the heat of his wand wanting release, so he raised it up and shot at the surprised Empress. The beam grazed her side as she dodged, taking off a chunk of her flesh and body-suit with it, though this did little but anger her as she immediately retaliated by shooting another beam at John, who had readied another attack. Rose managed to weasel her way in and stop the beam with her own, the two fighting for dominance, before an attack from Roxy barraged the Empress with bullets.

She stopped her beam and lunged at Roxy, getting in a good bonk with her trident to the Rogues head. Roxy lurched to her side, nary a moments rest before the Empress managed to stab her leg before she fell, making her prematurely plummet the last few inches to the ground. The Empress pulled her trident back out and went for the rest of the group, aiming for the closest person to stab. This happened to be Eridan, though he easily dodged out of the way and let her trident crumbled the railing behind him like it was dust. Since John and Rose still remained behind her, the two nodded at each other, and a strange aura seemed to emanate off of them. Before long, the two of them yelled out, and various blue beams seemed to rain down from the sky that, while not piercing the Empresses armour, obviously caused her distress and harm. Eridan decided to join in, firing his own beam into the Empress, getting her square in the back. The beam proved super effective, cutting a hole from one side to the other and causing the Empresses fascia purple blood to seep out profusely.

The Empress dropped to her knees, and Eridan untensed his shoulders and sighed in relief. But after a moment, the Empress let out an ear-piercing screech and lifted herself up into the air through sheer power alone. Then her eyes began flashing again, and the Empress let of another beam, first aiming it at Rose and John but missing them widely and destroying the pathway behind them, then doing the same for Eridan. Before the Prince could react, he found himself falling through the air, the architecture a blur around as he continued for a few seconds. And then, before he could think, a sharp pain entered him, and he blacked out.


	64. Eridan: Awaken

**Prince of Heart- oops a month and a half passed and I haven't uploaded anything, hope y'all aren't mad at me. Australia life is insane.**

Eridan awoke from the darkest clutches of death moments later, jumping up out of shock so he sat up straight, tangled in his cape. Breathing heavily, he touched around his body to see if he was in a dream bubble, or whether he was still alive, but a quick grab of the woman beside him confirmed his suspicion. The woman had a grey set of cotton clothes on, looking exactly alike Aradia's get-up from the last time he met her, with her chubby face popping out the hood to stare down at Eridan. The woman's light, baby blue eyes lit up behind her round glasses, and her lips quickly formed a large, satisfied smile the moment she saw Eridan wake up.

"Oh goodness, you're awake!" The woman exclaimed in a surprisingly soft tone. "Or alive, rather! You took quite a beating up there," she pointed to the sky above, to a bridge broken through the middle, where Eridan had fallen from and died, "but I got you patched up, good as new! You know what they say: a broken spine and a snapped neck never… uh… fooled me twice? God that was a terrible analogy, I haven't a clue where I was going."

Eridan narrowed his eyes in confusion, leaning back to sit on his two forearms before replying with, "uh wwha- uh howw am… bwwuh?"

The woman chuckled nervously, before standing up and extending a hand. "Sorry! I must have confused you with all this death, huh? Jane Crocker, Maid of Life and literal saviour of the dead and all that nonsense, yada, yada." Eridan took her hand gratefully, helping himself up to the girl's level, though she was a couple inches taller than his five-foot six figure. "Golly, you pack a lot of troll alien muscle into that short frame, yeesh."

Eridan slightly beamed, a smile forming at the corners of his mouth before it disappeared when he realised the unintentional insult. "im not that short human ivve still got hundreds of swweeps to groww." He sighed and gave a little wave to the girl. "Eridan Ampora is the name dont get too excited."

"Well, I'm glad introductions are all squared away because I have dead homies I have to- homies? Why the heck did I say tha-" She shook her head to snap out of her awkward trance. "Anyway, I have to go! I'll see you around Eridan!"

And with a short wave, she walked a few steps backwards and fell into a fenestrated wall, teleporting her to gog knows where and leaving Eridan alone again. He placed his hands on his hips, looking up at the walkway above him where he had fallen from, and let out a small huff. He had no way up there in his state; he couldn't fly like his compatriots and fuck him if he knew where the hell a set of stairs up there would even be. So, he stood there for a good moment, pursing his lips, before he remembered the in-built chat feature in his glasses from the game so long ago, so he went about contacting one of the humans he had fought with.

caligulasAquarium (CA) has started Trolling ectoBiologist (EB)

CA: human  
CA: wwhere the fuck are you guys  
CA: i wwanna kill that empress too cmon  
CA: …  
CA: …  
CA: john?  
CA: gog damn it

caligulasAquarium (CA) has stopped Trolling ectoBiologist (EB)

Eridan sighed but persisted none-the-less with the next person.

caligulasAquarium (CA) has begun Trolling turntechGodhead (TG)

CA: davve human  
CA: wwill you PLEASE tell me wwhats goin on  
CA: …  
CA: …  
CA: are you guys still alivve?  
CA: …  
CA: please dont die

caligulasAquarium (CA) has stopped Trolling turntechGodhead (TG)

The Prince tapped his fingers on the ground in frustration, the rhythm bringing him tiny comfort in all this calm and collected chaos. Would contacting Rose be worth it? What if they were all dead? Jegus that was a depressing thought to-.

Wait.

Footsteps sounded behind him, followed by a soft, soothing voice calling out to him, "Eridan? What Are You Doing Out Here?"

Eridan turned to face Kanaya, another friendly face in the air of loneliness around him, and gave her a quick wave. "kan? thank fuck i thought id nevver see someone friendly again. i wwas fightin her imperious condescension wwhen she broke the fuckin bridge and sent me dowwn here. im pretty sure i died but that fat-" Eridan stopped himself, before taking in a deep breath and exhaling, "large girl in grey revvivved me. but wwhatta you doin here i thought you wwere wwith kar fuckin up a denizen or somethin."

"We Were Talking To It Yes, But We Were Done With That So I Thought I Would Come To Help."

"wwheres kar then?" Eridan asked, scratching his head.

Kanaya chuckled nervously, "Oh Would You Look At The Time, It Says To Stop Asking Questions."

"wwhat howw does a clock sp-"

Eridan was stopped moments short of his sentence by a large form flying from above the two and crashing squarely a few feet away from them, kicking up a multitude of dust and rubble around it. When the smoke cleared, the form revealed to be the giant body of Her Imperious Condescension, bruised and beat up heavily by the fighting going on up there. John soon followed, though the blue-garbed boy floated down a lot more gracefully than the giantess indented in the ground, but still just as beaten up.

John stood still for a moment, inhaling and exhaling heavily, before swallowing down some fluid and greeting the two, "hey guys! so… uh… oh god this hurts… uh roxy and rose are out… but it's great to see you all good eridan!"

"wwhatta you mean theyre out?" Eridan demanded.

"well just a few… injuries but… they're going to live!"

The Empress rumbled for a moment, shocking the team, before using both her hands to push herself up in a flash. "ain't that easy sucka."

"oh come ON," John yelled out, holding the sides of his head in frustration.

Eridan pulled out his wand in a flash, exclaiming to John, "shes not dead yet?!"

"apparently not," John replied, struggling to lift his hammer in his state.

"naw whats the matter cant take a few hits?" The Empress asked, pulling out her trident from her strife deck and twirling it around, with only a minor jolt of pain at the end. John chuckled, obviously about to reply, before his eyes flickered closed and he thumped onto the ground, passing out instantly. The Empress smiled condescendingly, before turning to the two non-God Tier trolls and asking, "so you fools want a piece then?"

Kanaya stoically pulled out her lipstick before switching it to its attack mode, before muttering to Eridan over the revving of the chainsaw, "Do You Think We Can Do This?"

Eridan wiped a few sweat drops off his brow, the nervousness getting to him, but he replied, "ivve done it once i could probably do it again."

Kanaya raised an eyebrow. "You What?"

There was no time to answer, as the Empress lumbered forward at a surprising speed and brought her trident down at Kanaya, who dodged it gracefully and landed a to the Empresses side. The trident was then swung across in an attempt to hit Eridan, but he too managed to sloppily dodge under it, before bringing his wand up and firing a powerful blast into the Condescension. Her wounded nature started to show, as the beam grazed her left side as she moved away, singing her skin. The Empress growled, swinging her trident again and again, four times total, with Eridan dodging each time, and finally Kanaya joining back in. Her chainsaw roared as she brought it down towards the Empress's face, but she blocked the machine with her weapon, which stopped it in its tracks, and kicked the tall girl back into a wall.

Eridan winced as he felt her pain, but the Condescension quickly turned around and shot her multi-coloured beam of energy at him. In turn, the Prince fired his beam of Hope at her, just in time to stop her from completely vaporising him, though he was pushed back heavily; so much so that he ended up tripping over a rock beneath him, making his beam shoot up into the air briefly and the Empress's glide right over him. Another chainsaw rev signified Kanaya's quick return, and Eridan looked up just in time to see her narrowly cut through the Empress's arm. The giantess yelped out in pain as her limp flopped off and onto the cracked and broken ground, fuchsia blood seeping out of both the open wound. But again, the pain almost seemed to make her stronger, as she grabbed Kanaya by her throat and lifted the girl up with ease. Eridan didn't let the situation play out, as he quickly shot out another beam of hope that pierced through the empress's stomach, just inches below the previous hole he had made.

This shot seemed to finally visibly hinder her, as she soon released the Jade-blood and grasped at her open wound, heavily breathing. Kanaya gasped for air as well, falling to the ground and visibly shaken by her situation. The Empress quickly glared at Eridan, but with it, he knew exactly what she was about to do. So, he readied his wand in front on him and shot out another long beam, just a little earlier than the Empress managed to fire her eye lasers at him. The two collided in mid-air, but this time Eridan had superiority, as his beam pushed hers further and further back, and eventually, the two beams exploded in her face, a blast of white, red, and blue surrounding her as she fell onto her back, into the rubble of her own creation. Eridan took a few deep breaths, keeping his wand aimed at the giantess before he decided to make his way over to her wincing body.

He eventually stood over her, his shadow covering her bloodied face that now seemed almost cruel to still be alive, with both her eyes completely destroyed in the explosion. "so," he started, "any last wwords my empress?"

The lady chuckled weakly, "what exactly happens now douche? who do you think you are?"

"wwell it's easy from here if evveryone hasnt fucked up wwe just go throu-"

"nah," the empress interrupted, wiping her bloodied face with her remaining arm, "nah nah nah i meant who do you specifically think you are actin all hero like? do you honestly think any of this makes up for the six and a half sweeps of your life you went about tryna murder and insult these people."

"that wwas a long time ago."

"not in the grand scheme a things fool."

"howw the fuckety fuck do you knoww about any of that?" Eridan demanded to know, crouching down.

"lord english knows everything. like the fact that you shoulda died back on that rock but somehow you didnt. but that's probs a whole thing." She coughed spastically, spitting blood all around her. "but that aint the point. you aint the hero eridan. it aint yo fate or in your nature. youre a warmonger just like me. an evil for the real heros to overcome. the only problem was you lucked into all this. into survivin. but i know your nature. you a violent killer fool just like me. like your ancestor and your beforus version. that is you. always been you. always will be you."

Eridan lips quivered with anger for a moment, but eventually he pulled himself together, leaned into the Empress with his wand on her right breast, and told her, "but i nevver claimed to be anythin else. you think i dont knoww i wwas supposed to die? it haunted me evvery night i wwas on that meteor after that thinkin about howw i should of died wwith vvris that day and that i wwasnt deservvin. but evveryone around me they provved i could be better that i wwasnt alone and could be redeemed. they forgavve me evven wwhen i thought i couldnt be. i wish i could of changed things but thats not howw all this wworks so i just focused on formin friendships and reformin the ones i had before and im happier than evver. because bad guys dont HAVE to be bad guys they dont havve to be vvillains. they just have to make sure theyre giant bulges to the right people."

He stared the giantess in her blank eyes, before shooting a final beam into her chest. "so fuck off and die you colossal bitch."

The woman seemed to be gasping for air tightly for a moment, before the life slowly faded from her, and she fell limp after taking so much damage from the kids. Eridan dropped his wand next to him and proceeded to stand up, walking backwards a few steps before plopping himself down next to Kanaya, who seemed to have recovered from her precarious breathing.

She crossed her legs in a formal manner, switching her chainsaw back into her lipstick, and asked Eridan, "Is It Over?"

Eridan curled up one leg while letting the other stretch out, and replied, "yeah i think shes finally dead."

"Hmm. Strange After All The Sweeps Fearing Her, I Feel Like Something Has Been Lifted Off Me. Like Im Finally Free."

"yeah…" Eridan replied meekly, as he watched the Jane human teleport in from the fenestrated wall, give the two a quick wave, and go to work on John just feet away.

"Hey Eridan?" Kanaya softly said to catch his attention.

"yes kan?" The Prince replied.

"I Think You Are A Hero," she pondered.

Eridan seemed caught off guard, but eventually fixed himself up, and finally replied, "thanks kan," before looking off into the beautiful planet Skaia in the distance.


End file.
